Many Kinds of Monsters
by NoClueKid
Summary: A normal person would be terrified. Then again, who ever accused Kimblee of being normal? Would put this under 'philosophical' if there was such a category. Eventual KimbleeXEnvy with a little GreedXKimbleeXEnvy, because we all know villains have more fun.
1. Invidia

(A/N: First of all, I do not own FMA.

This takes place before the Ishbal War.

Zolf Kimblee/Solf Kimbly...there doesn't seem to be a general consensus on how to spell his name, so I made the choice I liked best.

Invidia is an archaic word for envy.)

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Zolf J. Kimblee would begin this story at the point where it becomes interesting: when Envy attempts to kill him. Luckily for all of us, this story is not narrated by him.

To put things in context, we must backtrack into what had been a painfully normal day, as were all his days when he was a human among other humans. It was Friday, which for military personnel meant a few scant hours to wade through paperwork before being cut free, blissfully free, to drink and fuck and generally pretend they are autonomous beings, before the daily grind began once again on Monday.

But Kimblee worked two jobs, the second being to convince everyone that he was just like the rest of them. That job had no end. No weekends, holidays, or sick leave. Indeed, it consisted of double-duty, for no matter how good an actor he was, how hard a worker, how skilled an alchemist, it would always be weighed against his black hair, his slanting, Xingian eyes. Amestris wasn't known for embracing diversity, and that went double where the military was concerned. For those of mixed blood, it would always be a thorn in their side. His difference from others was anything but skin-deep, and yet it was the external which proved the more troublesome.

It didn't help that the alchemy he practiced was an odd bastardization of practices Xingian and Amestrian. It worked well enough for him in that it was very destructive, but he tended to foul up tasks that involved more finesse. Things had a tendency to blow up when he got involved, whether or not they were supposed to. This was_ fine _as far as he was concerned. He didn't care about rebuilding things or helping people, but of course the pretense was necessary. It was the strange role his country expected of him and those like him: to be a human weapon, and normal and well-adjusted to boot.

It grated on him. He had not become a State Alchemist to make friends. He had sought the power which the higher officers touted: the power to kill without question. Yes, everyone below the Fuhrer-President would always have someone keeping them in check, but there was still a world of difference between the liberties he might someday be granted through the military compared to living as a normal citizen. It was the secret hidden in plain sight: all State Alchemists chose to be such because they were hungry for power, but the first rule of sating that hunger was to pretend one did not have it. So he put on the act, and after a time it seemed almost natural. His days passed in a blur, and that one was no exception. At the time, it showed no signs of being auspicious.

As it grew late, he was hailed to get drinks after work. Although he had no desire to drag the tedious company of his fellow soldiers into his 'free' time, he acquiesced, with what he hoped was believable interest.

.

The bar scene might have been interesting were he in a different mood. Men in groups, talking about work and sports and women. Women in groups, talking about…whatever women talked about. They were all here for each other, the men for the women and the women for the men, but god forbid either side acknowledge that. Theoretically it should be as simple as saying: _I am unattached, free of venereal diseases, and find you attractive. Assuming it's all the same for you, let's go get sexual gratification from each other. _

He smirked, imagining the slap he'd get. People didn't want honesty, he knew. They wanted their games. The rules of the men-and-women game, as far as he understood it, were as follows: Men gave love to get sex, women gave sex to get love. Reputation, money, domestic service, marriage and reproduction were complicating factors which often came into play. It was a complex game, with high stakes and convoluted negotiations, loaded with facades and foibles. Each player generally tried to get the most while giving the least.

_Where did it start, this men-and-women game?_ He wondered, as he watched the milling crowd through half-lidded eyes. _And what do they see in it that I don't? _

Not that it mattered to him at the moment. He wasn't there to get laid, he was there to kiss up and generally assert the image of himself as socially well-adjusted. And and opportunity to do exactly that soon presented itself. One of his superiors, a State Alchemist by the name of Lars Cramer, had become thoroughly and boisterously inebriated.

"Someone should really walk him home." Said a lieutenant by the name of Blake. "Keep him from passing out in an alley somewhere."

There was a moment of silence, as every soldier in the place was torn between being a dutiful subordinate and walking home with a drunken idiot, or just staying there, and getting a chance to go home with a woman.

"I will." Kimblee said, with carefully crafted resignation. He smirked at Blake, and then glanced at a group of women. "This once, you can have my share."

He left to a chorus of laughter, as good a way to end this as any. Taking Cramer by the shoulder, he steered the man outside.

"Come on, Sir. Let's get you home to your wife."

"My wife…she doesn't care…cheating whore…"

Kimblee rolled his eyes. He didn't know how far Cramer lived, but this was going to be a long walk.

.

Cramer was staggering on a few paces ahead of him, ranting more to God than to Kimblee: first about his 'cheating' wife, then about his ungrateful daughter, and, when he had really gotten steamed up, his mother.

"_Kill me now."_ Kimblee muttered to himself.

He had not meant it literally, but apparently the world took it that way.

He heard it before he saw anything: the pitter-patter of bare feet on cobblestones. They were moving fast. _Very _fast. That was what set off alarm bells in his head.

He heard it, so he knew where to look for it; all the same, he was astonished at the speed. He registered nothing but a blur of motion in Cramer's direction, of dark hair and clothes and pale skin. The only split second of doubt he experienced was to wonder if perhaps he didn't prefer Cramer dead – yet on the other hand, saving the life of a superior was sure to earn a promotion.

Clap – BANG!

More importantly, his wish to blow something up had been granted, and for that he felt a profound sense of gratitude toward whoever's life he had just taken. He might even lay flowers on their grave as a token of appreciation, was there anything left to bury.

"What the hell _was _that?" Cramer shouted, his voice still slurred and heightened a few octaves in shock.

"I assume no one who meant you well, sir." Kimblee turned and walked approached the smoking pile of rubble and smoldering cinders he had just created. "I'll see if there's anything left to identify th –"

Something flew at him from the column of billowing smoke. He heard the footfalls, and yet the person may as well have been flying low to the ground for how _quick _they were. He clapped his hands together, detonating another explosion, at the same time he registered a searing pain in his right arm. They'd gotten him, whoever they were, but he'd gotten them even bett –

Another charge. Half-blinded by smoke, he still managed to combust whoever was charging at him before they could touch him a second time.

A wind rose. The smoke began to break, allowing him to see who he was facing. Who he had, unless he was much mistaken, just blown to pieces. _Three times_. He shivered with something very different from fear.

"How admirable. Protecting your senior officer, even though you're wounded." The voice was low and sly, unidentifiable as male or female. The owner of the voice was much the same: either a woman too athletic to possess any feminine curves, or a male who was incredibly slender in his musculature, perhaps too young yet to accumulate much bulk. The dark hair and pale skin made him wonder if he was dealing with a fellow half-breed Xingian.

"I'd advise you to give it up, however." The man-or-woman continued. "He's not worth your life."

Kimblee grinned. "You've got it all wrong. I just like to blow things up – also, I think Cramer ran away a while ago."

"Wha – shit!" The androgynous assassin did a double-take, looking to find that, just as Kimblee said, Cramer was gone. "Fucking coward!" The would-be killer turned as if to go, only to find a wall shoot up in its desired course. He or she turned to glare over its shoulder at Kimblee.

"What d'you want?"

"Why, you're the most interesting thing that's happened to me all night. You're not leaving."

"You should count yourself lucky to get out alive!"

"If it's a choice between the two, I'd rather be entertained!"

He knew he was smiling that smile that no one was supposed to see, the one that would reveal him for the monster he was. But the only one around to see was another monster, so who was there to judge him?

Without waiting for a response, he clapped his hands together, setting off another explosion. The androgyne dodged left –

– But its _arm _shot out to the right, elongating nightmarishly into a writhing, spitting serpent. With another clap of his hands, the snake was blown apart, but not before his opponent's other arm was wrapping around Kimblee's left wrist, preventing him from bring his hands together.

"Interesting." The androgyne commented, seizing Kimblee's remaining wrist with its regenerated (and once again human-looking) hand. Its hands were small compared to Kimblee's, and yet applied a vice-like grip. "Tattoos on your palms that form a transmutation circle when brought together. Clever human." It grinned. "But what are you going to do now, when you can't complete the circle?"

He made no response, save to take advantage of the fact that all of this creature's concentration was focused entirely on his hands, and brought his knee up as hard as he could into its stomach. Apparently it was like enough for the blow to bother it, for it loosened its hold on him enough for him to wrench his hands free. Wasting no time, he set off a chain of three explosions, one after the other. The thrill of it was more intoxicating than any liquor, more alluring than the most beautiful of women.

"You're good." The androgyne said as the smoke began to dissipate. "But you can't kill me."

"Who said I wanted to kill you?"

He dropped to his knees and laid his hands on the ground. And then, the ground was rising up, flowing up the androgyne's body like snakes, wrapping it tight in bands of solid rock.

Unbeknownst to Kimblee, his foe did in fact have the strength to shatter rock with a squarely placed blow; however, when it was almost fully bound in stone, it was impossible for it to bring its full strength to bear.

"Like I said, you're the most interesting thing that's happened to me in a long while. Perhaps _ever_. I prefer you alive." He stood before his prisoner, smiling amicably. "Do you have a name?"

"Course I have a name, I'm not an animal!"

"I'm Zol –"

"I don't want _your_ shitty name and you're not getting mine!"

"Don't interrupt; that's rude."

He carefully caused both his prisoner's kneecaps to explode.

"OW OW! OKAY! STOP IT!"

"Let's try that again. I'm Zolf Kimblee, the Red Lotus Alchemist. And you are?"

"Envy."

"Nice to meet you, Envy."

"Fuck you!"

He took out half the creature Envy's head this time – and watched in rapt fascination as it grew right back.

"What manner of creature are you, to survive being blown apart – what is it, seven, eight times now?"

"I'll tell you if you let me out of this." Apparently the blow to its head had made it more diplomatic.

"You'd either attack me again or flee."

"The attack was just a test. You passed. And I'm not running away from some puny _human_."

"A test of what?"

"Let. Me. Go. And. I'll. _Tell_. You." It said, through gritted teeth.

"Tell me and I'll let you go."

If looks could kill, Kimblee, as well as all of his next-of-kin, would have been stone cold on the ground from the look that Envy gave.

"I could get out now if I wanted." It said. "I just…don't want to."

"Funny, but I'm not inclined to believe you." He brought up one hand, running two fingers up the part of Envy's stomach that was not covered in stone. Its flesh felt human enough. "I think I could do just about anything I wanted to you, and you couldn't do a thing about it." He smiled at the creature, whose eyes had gone wide in shock. "Well, Invidia? Am I wrong?"

He expected Envy to start begging at that point, but its eyes narrowed into angry slits. It smiled right back, or perhaps it was merely baring its teeth.

"_Dead_ wrong."

Envy had not wanted to bring out its true form. It never did. But the shame and self-loathing it felt were a fair trade for the look on the human's face as its body began to twist and expand, and the stone restraints shattered.

"Well, human?" Envy thundered, as he looked down thereupon. "What's the matter? Don't you wanna tie me up and rape me anymore?"

And then – Envy almost didn't believe its eyes – the human smiled.

Not even that insane, murderous smile he had been wearing previously. No. The look on his face was one of wonder. He seemed for a moment almost…pure. Like a child witnessing the first snowflakes of winter.

"Incredible…"

_What? _

How far down the line of insanity did one have to be, to look at a monster like a miracle? Envy was caught off-guard, not knowing what to do or think anymore. It shifted back into its smaller, 'cuter' form, because if one must stand around looking awkward, it was better to be smaller and cuter while doing so.

There was a moment of silence as the two stood facing each other, not attacking anymore, simply waiting for what the other would do.

"You're a strange human." Envy said at length.

"I know." He knew too well.

"I came here to extend an offer to Cramer, assuming he survived my test. _You_ survived, so I'll extend the offer to you: wanna work for us?"

"Depends. Doing what, and for what?"

"All of that is negotiable. You'll be talking to my Father."

"Your father? I haven't even proposed yet."

"Ha ha. The only thing is, we don't extend this offer unless we have something on the person we offer it to. Something on them to keep them from betraying _us_."

"You've seen what I really am – that I'm as much a monster as you are, simply one of the human variety. What else could you need?"

"I was hoping for something more along the lines of an incriminating picture or legal document, but I'll have to take what I can get. 'Specially considering how much I fucked this up."

It looked around at the street, now thoroughly demolished from their fight, as though noticing it for the first time. The look on its face was reminiscent of young soldiers late for muster.

"Father's gonna kill me…"

"Here." Kimblee knelt down, once again laying his hand against the rent cobblestones. At his touch, they seemed to ripple, like jello being shaken, and fell back into semi-recognizable order. There were flaws where the alchemy left its telltale rectangular cracks and crenelations, but it was a far cry from the crater-blasted, rubble-strewn war scene of moments before.

When finished, he raised his eyes to find Envy giving him an astonished look.

"I…um…well…thank you." Kimblee got the sense that it wasn't something the creature said often. "Anyway, we should go before they deploy troops to see what the hell happened."

.

(A/N: I debated with myself as to whether Kimblee would be able to transmute stone using only his hand arrays. It would have been more complicated to write a fight scene in which he had to somehow stop and draw transmutation circles from scratch when he wanted to do something other than make something explode. But I didn't want to write a Gary Stu-ish character with more abilities than made sense. However, re-watching the fight scene between Roy and Lust, I noticed that Roy apparently transmuted water into hydrogen gas using what was on his glove. So, if the Flame Alchemist can make liquid H20 into gaseous hydrogen with his fire-creating transmutation circles, then it doesn't seem too far-fetched for the Red Lotus Alchemist to change the shape of stone with his exploding transmutation circles. So my reasoning goes. Really, any excuse not to have to write the whole scene over and have Kimblee fumbling around with a piece of chalk in the middle of it.

Further: There is a throw-away comment about rape, and I just want to specify that Kimblee as I write him is not rapacious. The implied threat was to provoke a reaction from Envy (and boy, did it), but he wouldn't have carried it farther than that. His motivation is not an ethical one, rather, he considers rape vulgar and beneath him. I mean come on, the guy wears all white and critiques his explosions on their artistic merit. If he wanted to torture someone he would come up with something more tasteful - and that wouldn't get his clothes dirty.

Thanks for reading!)


	2. While You Were Sleeping

(A/N: Some further notes on various things -

Greed: I deviate from at least the manga time-line here (not sure about Brotherhood), in that Greed was even around and working for Father at the same time Kimblee was. I will be pushing his departure to directly prior to/during the Ishbal War. As far as the overall plot goes, exactly when he left doesn't matter. Besides, I like Greed as a character. I would be sad to do this thing without him. As for him not knowing Wrath's identity, I could see Father keeping it a secret. No matter when it happened, Greed's betrayal probably came as no surprise to Father.

Envy and pronouns: my Envy is genderless, and will be referred to as 'it'. However, when taking the form of a man or woman, the pronouns will change accordingly. Confusing? Yes. So is having a genderless character. I know it is insulting to refer to an intersex/asexual/transsexual individual as 'it'. However, Envy is a creepy shape-shifting monster. Different rules apply.

This is very Kimblee-centric at first. My intention is to give both he and Envy equal time and development. I find it helps to look at the homunculi through a human perspective, at least to begin with. And I honestly feel like Kimblee understand them better than I do -_-'

About Kimblee's alleged ethnicity: I know it was never specified what he was. However, he looks distinctly Asian (oh, alright, 'Xingian') to me, and I thought it was an interesting take on his character. I'm not claiming that his actions are justified because he's faced discrimination; I doubt even he would claim that. I'm merely showing reasons why the human side of the world might be unappealing to him.)

.

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Kimblee's senses were called back to attention with the sound of a door. It was a singularly sinister-sounding door: The clank and scrape of a heavy lock being turned; the high, shrilling creek of ancient and long un-oiled hinges paired with the deep, metallic groan of the door being pushed open; the echoing boom of the door closing, and the dead-bolt rasping back into place.

Meaning he was still trapped here –

– Where was 'here'? Memory failed to serve.

More sounds. High heels click-clacking on a hard surface.

"Is Father getting impatient?"

That voice, at least, he knew. The voice of the monster that had recently 'recruited' him, Envy. Once again mentioning this person it called Father. They had been on their way to see 'Father', and then…

What then? When exactly had he lost consciousness?

"Not especially." A woman's voice, low and sultry. "I thought it best to check on your progress. Down here all alone with a comatose human…I wasn't sure you could be trusted."

'Comatose human'? How long had he been out? Did that mean she wasn't human either? She sounded human enough, and he wondered if her body matched her voice. He fought the urge to open his eyes and find out exactly what manner of creatures he was trapped here with. For now he took the opportunity to eavesdrop.

His shoulder hurt. Recollection stirred, sluggishly. He'd sustained a wound in his fight with Envy…but he failed to equate that with _this_…

"If I was going to kill him, I would have done it while he was awake to know it." Envy said.

"Who said anything about killing? Mind-games, torture, manipulation, these are all things I don't trust you not to do. Especially since he apparently gave you a bit of trouble earlier."

Envy had laughed at the 'mind-games, torture, manipulation' part, but at the woman's last words its mirth died abruptly.

"Who told you that?"

"I'm not revealing my sources." The woman's voice said, levelly.

"Whoever they are, they're lying. He put up more of a fight than I expected, but I was in control the whole time."

"As you say." Her voice indicated otherwise. Kimblee repressed a smirk.

There came again the sound of her shoes on the floor, coming closer. It took every ounce of fortitude not to open his eyes, to lay there blind and let that _thing _approach him.

"He's rather good-looking." Her voice was very near now, dispassionate as though she were commenting on the weather.

"He might be able to hear you. That stuff wasn't meant to put him out very long."

Oh, right; that brought it back to him: the fleeting, flash-bulb recollection of Envy's arm snaking up (literally) from behind him, jabbing a syringe into his arm. The realization that he should have expected something like that from the start.

Envy's grin.

'_Nighty-night.' _

"It doesn't matter to me." The woman's voice said. "Shall I tell Father he's still out cold?"

"Yeah." There was a silence, then, abruptly, "This is idiocy! What is he thinking, looking for human aid! Pull their strings from the shadows, I say, we've done it well enough before!" There was a crash, as though Envy had broken a piece of furniture in ire. "This is a fucking waste of our time!"

There came another sound – not quite a voice, speaking not-quite words, a cross between the sigh of the wind and the muttering of a crowd far away. Indistinct, yet unmistakable. It sounded…angry.

Kimblee's eyes snapped open then of their own accord, that voice made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and logic fly away. Yet his sight did not reassure him, for, to his eyes at least, it was only he, Envy, and the unnamed woman in the room (along with the remains of what was presumably the piece of furniture Envy had smashed moments before).

First shape-shifting monsters, now the shadows had a voice. Could this day get any better?

"Best watch what you say, Envy." The woman said. Her looks matched her voice: darkly beautiful. Somehow it wasn't reassuring in the slightest.

"Father doesn't care what I think of his plans so long as I carry out orders." Envy replied. It glanced back at its human charge. "Oh, you're awake. Good."

"I'm thrilled about it too."

"Ah, a sense of humor." The woman commented, giving him an indolent smile. "The ones with a sense of humor always last the longest. I'll tell Father you'll be there soon."

She turned and exited. When the heavy door had shut behind her, Envy turned, giving Kimblee an unnervingly friendly smile.

"That was Lust. In spite of her name an appearance, she's not a whore, but you won't be killed for hitting on her."

Out of everything he had expected Envy to say to him, that was pretty far down the list.

"…Why did you knock me out?"

"Orders. Can't let you know where we operate just yet, you're not officially on the team."

"…Right." He sat up, and with the motion realized that his wounded arm had been tended. It currently rested in a sling. Everything else seemed to be working fine. That was something. Speaking of working...

"My watch, assuming you didn't tamper with it as part of your mind-games and manipulation business, indicates that its two o'clock am on Saturday. I'm due at muster on Monday at six o'clock sharp, so I would appreciate it if we can get this business over with before then."

Envy stared at him a moment, mouth slightly agape.

"That's what you have to say?" It managed, at last. "You're abducted by monsters, pounded full of drugs, wake up in a cell, and the thing you're worried about is getting back to muster on time? You're either the bravest or the stupidest human I've ever met!"

"It's my bread and butter. What else should I be concerned with?"

Envy leaned forward, bringing its dark eyes very close to Kimblee's blue ones, its arm once again twisting and elongating into a serpent, which hissed, showing glistening fangs.

"Maybe you should be more concerned with your immediate survival."

"I don't know about your kind, Invidia, but humans face death every day. If I was to cower as the prospect, I would never have gotten anywhere."

Envy drew back slightly, regarding Kimblee in a way that seemed almost…curious.

This human had looked at Envy in its most hideous, terrifying form, and he had smiled. This human showed no fear when facing a situation that would've had anyone else pissing on themselves. Was the the human suicidal? But he had fought for his life vigorously enough…

Envy had thought it understood humans. But it didn't understand _this _one at all.

"Well, if you're feeling courageous, I guess it's about time you met Father."

.  
>.<p>

The first person – we use that term lightly here – that Kimblee actually met was a squat, incredibly _round _creature, with arms that dangled almost to the floor. Its head was smooth as a skinned potato, with small eyes and a large nose. It was drooling.

"Xingian." It remarked in a high, child-like voice. "Can I –?"

"No!" Envy snapped, in a tone that would suggest it was reprimanding a dog.

"You didn't let me finish, Envy." The creature whined, eyes tearing up.

"You were just going to ask if you could eat him. The answer is no."

"Was not." The creature insisted sulkily.

"Really? What _were _you going to ask me then?"

The creature stared. It looked confused, but then again, as far as Kimblee could tell, it always did.

"Gluttony?" He asked, glancing sidelong at Envy.

"You're quick." Envy said, then, to Gluttony, "Go find your sister, Gluttony. Maybe she'll feed you."

"But…want to eat Xingian…"

Envy stepped forward and snarled. Gluttony whimpered, scrambling away down the darkened tunnel.

Someone laughed behind them. Envy and Kimblee turned as one, to see an incredibly ferocious-looking man regarding them. He was tall, with muscles hard and sharp as cut diamonds, and he was wearing the clothes to show it. He was grinning, revealing carnivorously sharp teeth.

"Well, well; look what the monstrosity dragged in." He regarded Kimblee over the tops of his sunglasses. His eyes were red. "So you're the human."

"That's what I'm best known for." Kimblee remarked dryly.

"Oh for fuck's sake, were you all just _waiting _out here?" Envy exclaimed, exasperated.

"Pretty much. I was bored, and Gluttony was, well, hungry. Aren't you going to introduce us?" He looked at Kimblee once more. "Or can you guess which sin _I _am?"

"I can't." Kimblee's best guess would have been Lust, but that one was taken.

"Greed, this is Zolf Kimblee." Envy said, regarding Greed with an incredibly cold look. "A.k.a the Red Lotus Alchemist. Kimblee, this is Greed, my brother. He wants everything in the world. Yes, that includes you. Yes, that means what you think it does. Hope that's not awkward."

Greed returned his eyes to Kimblee, the smug look never leaving his face. "And you've clearly met Envy. Right now, Envy is either jealous of me, or jealous of you. Probably both."

"Oh shove it." Envy growled.

"Maybe I will."

"See if I care! Only wait until _after _I'm done showing him around before you start trying to bang him!"

"Touchy. I was just being friendly."

"Friendly like a dog humping someone's leg!"

Kimblee watched the exchange with mounting incredulity. Were two monsters…fighting over him? Well, they seemed to be fighting _each other_ first and foremost, he was simply an afterthought. Still, wasn't a situation he ran into every day…

A breath of what sounded like wind was heard in the tunnel, although the air itself did not move, accompanied by the ominous whispering he had heard before. Both Greed and Envy stopped arguing abruptly. He looked in time to see them exchange a look he could not describe, except in what it said to him:

Whatever_ that sound was, they hate it, or fear it, more than they do each other. _

"Father is waiting." Envy said, voice level once again. Greed stepped aside to let them pass.

.

(A/N: The thing sounding creepy in the dark is Pride. Hopefully that was obvious. Thanks for reading!)


	3. Rabbit Hole to Hell

(A/N I have chosen to carry over select elements of our world into FMA, such as religions, certain psychological theories and maybe more. I feel the FMA universe is close enough to our own.)

.

He was not like his 'children'.

The sins Kimblee had met thus far were youthful, pale of skin and dark of hair - with the exception of Gluttony, who was as bald as the potato he resembled. This man…creature…was blond like an Amestrian. And he was aged, appearing to be in his fifties or thereabouts. With his long hair and beard and flowing robe, he was reminiscent of Moses or Methuselah, some biblical patriarch.

And God only knew what kind of abomination he really was, this Father of monsters.

He was seated on a throne of sorts, with all manner of strange tubes and pipes running away from it in all directions, into the darkness that yawned on all sides. Before him was a wide table, spread with maps and figurines. A king upon his throne, musing upon his kingdom. All light in the vast, shadowy room seemed to emanate from him.

When he spoke, his voice was incongruously casual, almost board. He did not bother looking up from his maps.

"Zolf J. Kimblee, if Envy got your name right?"

"Yes."

"You may address me as 'Sir', as you would a superior officer. Pardon my children's uncouth behavior. It is, you might say, their nature to be troublesome."

"Not at all. A bit of excitement on what might otherwise have been a dull weekend."

"I see Envy wasn't exaggerating."

Kimblee wondered what about, but wasn't feeling quite bold enough to ask. The respect that creatures such as Greed and Envy showed for this man was enough to make him mind his manners.

"You weren't the guest I was expecting" Father continued, "but you're not unknown to me." Turning at last from his spread of maps and figures, from some niche in his kingly seat he drew a folder. Kimblee recognized the insignia it bore as military, and classified. "Your case report indicates that you're a promising young alchemist with 'impeccable character'."

"Proof they don't know me very well." Kimblee said, a bit surprised that monsters paid attention to paperwork.

"So it isn't accurate." Father looked at him for the first time. His eyes were golden, and Kimblee felt suddenly pinned to the spot beneath the weight of their regard.

"…May I be frank, sir?"

"Now, if ever, yes."

"I am a half-breed bastard born in a dirty slum. My grandparents came to this country with nothing but the clothes on their backs; my mother scrubbed floors and didn't speak the language. If my character were not 'flawless', I would never be promoted beyond first-rank."

"You must resent the country of Amestris for its treatment of you and your family."

"…I don't _thank_ them for it, but there's no point railing against human nature. Speaking of, may I ask what _you_ are?"

"I could not define myself to you, as there is no other creature like me in this world. I came from beyond the Gate of creation, centuries ago. Humans called me 'homunculus', and that is what I call myself still as far as humans are concerned."

"'_Homunculus'_? 'Little human'?"

Father made a small sound of approval, the first sign of emotion or inflection he had yet shown. "You have an extensive vocabulary."

"I made it a point to know this language better than those born to it."

"You aren't the type to allow yourself to be looked down upon. I see." He brought up a hand, absent-mindedly stroking his beard. It was a surprisingly normal gesture. The original homunculus was somewhat out of practice at dealing amicably with humans. The ones he did encounter nowadays were typically in varying states of terror and/or injury. To have this one standing here, so seemingly unafraid...it recalled to his mind another time, another human...

Folly.

"Down to business." Father said. "To be frank, as you put it, I'm lacking talented alchemists in my service, and you seem suited to the work at hand. As for that work, it will coincide with your military duties. Your being in the military is almost as advantageous to me as your skill with alchemy."

"Am I to be your spy?"

"Not merely. I will use my influence to place you in a position of high authority, and, in exchange, you will use that authority as I instruct. There will be lives you are commanded to take, no way to tell whose or how many. All of this will depend on your demonstrated skill and dependability."

Kimblee nodded to show his understanding.

"You will be rewarded according to how well you serve. Do so loyally and with skill, and very little will be beyond your reach."

The Father of monsters fell silent. Kimblee assumed it was his turn to speak.

"Growing up in ghettos as I did, I'm predisposed to be suspicious. I've never had someone try and sell me something that didn't have its cost. The better it sounded, the greater the price. What's the catch?"

"You will be a human, working for me, killing my human enemies. Some amongst your kind would regard that as…traitorous."

"If I was not prepared to kill other humans, I would not have become a dog of the military."

"You wouldn't find it…troubling, aligning yourself with _monsters?_"

"Let me put it this way: give me power, and I will gladly use it. Give me freedom to kill and otherwise live the hedonistic life I please, and I will be in no position to judge you."

"Excellent. Of course, you should know I've recorded all that you just said."

"Really?" He was taken aback, more that 'Father' was tech-savvy than at the trick itself. "So you can reveal me as the loathsome villain I am if I betray you?"

"Precisely. For now, you will return to life as you knew it. Envy or Lust will be the ones who communicate my orders to you, being well-suited to passing within the human world. Any questions?"

"Many…the most pressing being the incident with Cramer. What am I to tell people?"

"Nothing. You will not be asked."

"How can – that is, are you quite sure?"

"It is Envy's failing, and I will take responsibly of containing the damage. If there is nothing else, Greed is waiting for you outside; he will see you back to the surface."

Kimblee could not honestly say that there was 'nothing else', but neither did he have any questions. He could have the facts of the situation explained to him from now until this time tomorrow morning, and his mind would still be reeling.

When all else fails, focus on the practical: "May I not be knocked out this time?"

Father waived a dismissive hand. "You're one of my own now. There is no need for that." There was a small surge of red alchemic aura about Father's fingertips, and in the next moment he was holding a small, blood-colored lotus figurine between his thumb and forefinger. He placed it upon the map of Central, as Kimblee took his leave.

Outside, Greed was indeed waiting for him. Envy stood at his side, but it did not acknowledge either of them with as much as a glance, merely walking resolutely past Kimblee and through the door he had just come out of.

"Right." Greed said. "Follow me."

They had not been walking long when the sound of an earsplitting shriek was heard behind them, magnified by echoes as though the underground labyrinth itself was screaming.

Kimblee froze in his tracks. "Was that –?"

"What Envy gets for not killing or recruiting Cramer." Greed said, not checking his pace. "Not to mention the mess it made with its transformation."

"I fixed most of that mess." Kimblee said, following Greed once more. "And as for Cramer, I can do more for you in a day than he could in ten years."

Greed shrugged. "The old man is a hard-ass, no question there."

"Is that what I have to look forward to, when I don't carry out orders?"

"Doubt it. We're more important than you are. The stakes are higher, so the punishment is harsher. You should worry more about Envy than Father. You'll be dealing with it on a regular basis, and it'll be in a _foul _mood after this, believe you me."

"I handled Envy well enough earlier."

Greed sighed. "Yeah, see…for all that Envy was trying to kill you, it also wasn't especially _mad _at you. There's a difference."

"I presume you're well acquainted with said difference?"

Greed smiled ruefully. "What gave you that idea?"

They passed the rest of the journey up in silence. Kimblee tried, at first, to keep track of the winding, labyrinthine system of tunnels and corridors through which they passed. It proved futile, however, and he suspected Greed was taking a roundabout way, just as a precaution. Not that he could be blamed for it, Kimblee supposed. He _was _new on the team, and his one credential as such was that he was an unabashed traitor. It would be foolish for anyone to trust him all that much.

The Eastern sky was tinged coldly blue when they finally emerged, onto a street with which he was passingly familiar. On the horizon, shreds of clouds caught the sun's first rays. It was going to be a red sunrise on this long, dark night. This night that left him feeling as though he had aged a hundred years. How strange, that the sun still rose in the same place, at the same time, as it had every day before. That the rabbit hole to hell led back up into the same old world.

Something about the sight, the convergence of the strange with the normal, brought home to him the facts of his situation. His life was, basically, forfeit to monsters. Nothing new in that, now that he thought about it. Being in the army, he was used to having his leash held by hands he did not like or trust. Helping humans kill humans…helping homunculi kill humans…it wasn't any different, for all that other soldiers liked to pretend there was higher meaning or morality in what they did.

The difference now was that there was no going back. In the military, there was always the option to resign. He would lose everything; his uniform had been his way out of the slum of his birth, and to give it up would be his ticket back. It was a horrible option, but it had been an option. No longer. For all that he had been 'invited' to join them – a promotion, of sorts – he did not delude himself in thinking they wouldn't kill him on the spot if he didn't do what they wanted.

He had passed the point of no return. He wasn't above feeling the finality of that, the weight of it.

"Oh lotus flower~"

Kimblee frowned as Greed broke into his thoughts.

"Yes?" He asked, still facing away from the predatory homunculus.

"You're just so quiet. Something on your mind?"

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath of the chill morning air.

_There are plenty of ways to die_, he reminded himself of what he had so assuredly said to Envy, what seemed like years ago. _One is never safe from death, although most people try to forget that. _

"I make it a point to always have something on my mind." He turned to Greed once again, an easy smile on his face once more. If he was going to choose a way to go, what more riveting death could he hope for, neck-deep in monsters and mystery? His course from here was into darkness, true, but he would not go into that dark uncertainty like a timid sheep being led. No, he would run into it, blindly if need be.

What less could he do, and still call himself an alchemist?

"So you're the philosophical type?"

"I'm my own type. None other." He turned, striking as straight a course as he could in the direction of his apartment. He briefly considered calling a cab, but deciding a walk would do better to clear his head.

"Hm. Coming from you, I actually believe it." Greed said, falling into step beside Kimblee, seemingly in no hurry to go back underground.

"What type are you, then?"

"The greedy one."

"Yes. About that…"

Greed smirked in anticipation.

"Your sibling said you desire everything, meaning, incidentally, every_one_. But there must be some people you don't desire. Some people aren't desirable."

It wasn't quite the direction that Greed had been expecting. Contrary to what one might expect, he could appreciate a good conversation as much as a good lay, but it was uncommon for people to choose the former.

"Looking through human eyes, maybe." He responded. "But your kind has a way of judging everyone on their potential to bare healthy offspring – because that's what it is; your instincts telling you: _hey, this person will pop out some fine babies._"

Kimblee snorted, and Greed continued,

"You might think its big boobs, toned legs, and a nice ass, but at the root of it it's just biology: the best way to propagate the species. However, homunculi don't breed. We're sterile. I'm not going to tell you how our Father made us, but sure as hell wasn't in the usual way. So why would we evaluate people based on their potential to create healthy babies? Why would we care?"

"Fascinating. But here's a question: I couldn't reproduce with you – it would be impossible, even if you were human. So why should my _biology _tell me you're desirable, when obviously that has nothing to do with propagation?"

"Obviously I'm so _insanely _desirable I make humans forget their biology."

"I'm sure."

"I'm perfectly sincere. I've had guys - some girls too for that matter - never so much as looked twice at man before? Still fall like dominoes for me. Even _I _don't quite understand it."

"Not to doubt your considerable charm," Kimblee said, "but most men aren't as straight as they claim."

"I'm assuming that's not an issue with you."

"Why sir, I am as straight as an arrow."

"Oh yeah, and a pacifist too, right?"

"What can I say?" He placed one hand on his chest. "My heart is as pure as driven snow."

Greed laughed. Damn, but this human was fun. He glanced sidelong at Kimblee over the top of his sunglasses. "What d'you say we give Envy something to envy?"

"I'm game. I'd prefer to clear it with Envy first, though."

Greed looked at Kimblee as though he actually had declared himself a pacifist. "…Why?"

"It's clear you two have a history. It would be rude of me to step on his toes."

Greed chuckled. "You've got it all wrong. Envy isn't a 'he', it's an 'it'."

"I didn't say you had an amorous history. Still…"

Greed tilted his head to one side. "You're not, by any chance, holding out for my jealous little sibling, are you?"

"...If I am?" He hadn't articulated it that way to himself, but now that Greed mentioned it, there was something about Envy that he found appealing. Something which made Envy linger on the edge of his thoughts. Their combat, the violent clash of Envy's will against his…it gave him a thrill, a pleasant shiver inside, just remembering. And, if nothing else, he had always been fascinated by androgyny. Greed was a perfect specimen of masculinity, Lust of femininity. Both things were appealing to him, but neither more so that the perfect balance in between, in part because it was so rare.

Greed gave him a pitying, if still amused look. "Like I said, it's an it. And you're a human. It would be a cold day in hell."

"Are those chances you'd like to wager on?"

For the first time, Greed looked genuinely surprised. Then he laughed harder than ever. "You're just crazy enough to be my type. Alright, we'll bet. If you loose, I get you."

"And if I win?"

"Well," Greed smirked, something raw and aggressive gleaming in his eyes, "I can't speak for the monstrosity, but if _you_ win, you just might get both of us."

"Exciting. No sabotage now." Kimblee warned. "I'm trusting you to be a homunculus of your word."

"Hey, more in it for me if you win. However, if you happen to be overwhelmed and fall into my arms on your own in the meantime, that means _I've _already won."

It would have been ridiculous coming from anyone else. But it was obvious that Greed meant every word he said.

"You're pretty confident."

"You should see the tallies on my headboard. Seriously, you should come see them right now."

Kimblee smiled indulgently. "You'll have to try a _bit_ harder than that."

As far as running blindly into darkness, he remarked to himself wryly, betting on a ménage-a-trois with monsters was certainly a bold first step.

.  
>.<p>

Envy was lost in the void. The void that Greed would call boredom, that Lust would call loneliness, Wrath, anger, Sloth, fatigue and Gluttony, of course, hunger. The void lived in all of them, if not in their stomachs per se. And now, it had risen up to consume Envy.

How long had it been like this? There was no time, in this condition. It could have been an hour or a year.

Envy wanted to scream, but it had no voice. It couldn't breathe, it had no lungs. It would have cried, but it had no eyes. Father had taken its body away from it.

Envy didn't know how Pride would refer to the vacancy in himself. It made it a point not to talk to Pride about that sort of thing. About anything, if Envy could help it. It suspected that Pride was too wrapped up in his own superiority to acknowledge the emptiness at his core. Because, of course, Pride thought he was better than everyone, even his own siblings.

_I wonder if Pride thinks he's superior to Father? Or does he merely believe that he is closest to Father, as humans often use their closeness to God as an excuse to look down on other humans? _

There came the childish, resentful feeling that Pride _was _closest to Father. Certainly he was closer than Envy. Father _hated _Envy right now. That was why he had cast Envy out, broke it down to this shivering spark of consciousness and left it alone in the dark. Agony upon agony. Father _hated _it. It could not cry.

Then there was the adolescent thought, the hot resentment: Pride could be close to Father all he wanted. Envy was beyond the point of agonizing over the 'love' of its parent, had been for well over a century.

Finally, there was the adult thought: that it didn't matter who was closer or why, and it was even more useless to speculate. The only thing that mattered was the way things stood. Father was angry and, loved or not, (Envy's was leaning towards 'not') this was its punishment. Getting thrown down into the emptiness at its own core. That was the curse of being what Envy was, each of them carried their own Hell inside of them.

.

(A/N: Seriously though, since when would Greed limit himself to only half the playing field? And if there's any FMA character who would be up for some bizarre experimentation, it'd be Kimblee; the more hedonistic, the better he'd like it. Also, a word on Father/Hoenheim: I doubt there is a simple word for the nature their relationship, certainly not romantic/sexual. However, I think there is some sort of strong attachment there, at least on Father's part, bordering on love in intensity if not in nature. Just as you tend to see your loved one's characteristics in anyone who even vaguely resembles them, so Father might unconsciously seek out things that remind him of Hoenheim in all humans.)


	4. Stone Cold Killer

(A/N: Sorry about the double-upload. I blame stress - I'm in the thick of mid-terms, why the hell am I spending time on this? DX I noticed when editing that I have a disturbing tendency to write 'Pride' when I mean Wrath. I think I caught all of them, but I'm tired and its hard to self-edit even at the best of times. I also feel very awkward inventing names for side-characters. The FMA names have rather distinctive rings to them, and I'm not sure how well I managed to replicate that.)

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Early on Monday morning, Kimblee woke in darkness to an ice-cold touch on his face. Opening his eyes, he could hardly tell the difference.

"Envy, that had better be you." He said, in a soft voice so as not to wake his roommate and have to answer some awkward questions.

"Thanks for not blowing me up on the spot." Envy's voice murmured directly next to him. "Would've made this a lot more complicated."

He blinked, (not that it made much difference) waking up a little more. "Did you break into my apartment?"

"I don't need to break in. I have a key."

"…Of course you do. Is it safe to talk with someone else here?"

"He's not going to wake up."

"Did you – but I can hear him breathing."

"He's not dead, just a bit of chloroform under the nose. If you wanna be a pal, prod him hard in the morning. He'll be groggy."

"What's so important, then?" He sat up and reached out to turn on his bedside lamp. Envy's hand intercepted his with a grip like cold iron.

"Don't. That's the main thing you need to know: anything you don't want heard by Father, don't say it around any shadows as long as you're in Central. Pitch darkness is safe, and outside Central is safe. Other than that, he might hear you."

Kimblee felt a chill run through him, and it had nothing to do with Envy's icicle-like fingers on his arm.

"Shadows, but not full darkness? Safe from what? Who might hear me?"

"The latter I won't tell you, the former I _can't_. I don't know everything, and he…he's older than I am."

"A sibling of yours?"

"Yes…I don't think it matters if you know that much. Also, if there is ever…an issue, between you and Father, Greed is the one who will most likely help you."

"Not you?"

"I'm not going to risk my life."

"Yet you're telling me this."

"This is nothing. All children find ways to hide secrets from their Fathers, but I'm not going to commit suicide by rebelling. Greed, though…well, I don't have to tell you how he is. And Father has some pretty high ambitions of his own. They can't _both_ own the world."

"Your Father must know this."

"He knows. And Greed knows he knows. We _all _know it's just a matter of time."

"Wonderful family dynamic you have."

"Isn't it? And, last…" Envy's voice darkened. "I don't know what you're thinking, if maybe you've changed your mind about all this, but know: you _cannot_ trust the military to protect you from us."

"I don't trust the military much for anything."

"If you want out, take your own life. You could try and run away to another country, but I doubt you'd get far, knowing what you do. Death is better than what Father would do to a traitor."

"Your Father doesn't have agents beyond the gate?"

"Not as far as I know." He imagined Envy with a rueful smile. "But like I said, I don't know everything, even about my so-called family."

"I don't want out just yet."

"It doesn't scare you?" It was difficult to infer tone when talking so quietly, but Envy's voice seemed genuinely puzzled.

"A lot of things scare me. Fear is perfectly natural." He put one hand over Envy's. "Why are you so cold? Did you come here right out of a freezer?"

"A human's body creates its own heat. Mine doesn't."

"So you're like a lizard?" He regretted the question as soon as he said it. Envy removed its hand from under his.

"Cold doesn't make me sluggish or anything."

"Doesn't it…bother you?"

"Your concern for me is touching." Envy's voice was mocking once again.

"I'm only curious."

"I need to go." The source of Envy's voice was raised, allegedly because it had stood up. "Too long and he'll get suspicious." Soft footsteps towards the door, voice receding. "Never refer back to this conversation."

"Wait."

"What?"

"Do you ever want out?" The question came in something of a rush. He knew he was overstepping a boundary, but it was now or never.

"Don't ask me that."

"I am asking." Envy made it clear he wouldn't get the chance to ask again.

"No."

"Never?"

Envy was silent for a long time, long enough that Kimblee assumed he wasn't going to get answer, then,

"There _is_ no out." Its voice was colored by some un-nameable emotion. "I don't…always like my job, no secret in that. That's why it's a job. But what else is there? A world of humans, to whom I'm nothing but a monster. Where would I go, if not here? What would I do, if not this?"

"I don't know."

"The answer is nothing. Nowhere, never. I have never wanted out. Besides," Envy hurried on quickly, as though trying to distance itself from what it had said, "It won't be like this forever. Eventually the world will change, and I – both of us will be…more than we are now."

"Monsters and traitors today, heroes tomorrow. The victors write the history."

"Well said." It sounded like Envy might be smiling, if only just. "We can talk more later; I'll tell you what I can about Father's plan. As much as I'm allowed. Good night."

.

_The first thing Envy had done when Father restored its physical form was to run straight into Lust's arms. As though Envy were still young, as though they didn't have years of scheming and manipulation lying like a silent accusation between them. It was an after-effect of the punishment, Envy's need to affirm by another's touch that its body was real, was still there.  
><em>

_Then it was off to silence whatever word had gotten out concerning its transformation and battle with Kimblee. _

_The first life to take, clearly, was Cramer's. That was Envy's job, while Lust found out from Wrath how widespread knowledge of the incident had become. Envy's job wouldn't be any trouble at all, except that they had to make it look incidental. So either an accident or suicide. Suicide took longer, but Envy was in a bad mood, damn it, and fucking with Cramer's mind seemed like a good way to remedy that. _

_"Pride." Envy said. The next moment, eyes opened within the shadows all around it. It didn't bear thinking about, how close Pride always seemed to be. _

_"Let me guess." The childish voice came from no discernible direction. "You want to break the mind of the human who saw you transform." _

_"You know me so well." _

_"I do." Something in the way Pride said it made Envy shiver inwardly. _

_"Want to help?" _

_"Yes!" It spoke with the childish delight of riding a Ferris wheel or buying a puppy. _

_Envy ran with the shadows down the darkened streets of central. It passed the place where it had attempted to kill Cramer the first time. The street still showed signs of alchemy. It didn't help Envy's mood. _

_They reached Cramer's house, a manor of impressive size. Envy knew from research that Cramer came from a well-established military family of which there were so many in Central, and to which he owed both his wealth and his position of authority as a State Alchemist. _

_Envy shifted into the form of a cat. It was extremely difficult to get that small under normal circumstances, requiring both immense effort and unbroken focus. It was only for a short while, however, just from the gate on the edge of the residence to the shadow of a tree underneath a ground-floor window. _

_Envy let out a breath as it transformed back. At the same time, it heard a quiet click as the window was unlocked from the inside. Good 'ol Pride. Envy slipped quickly inside, shutting and locking the window behind it. _

_"Second story library." Whispered Pride in Envy's ear. His voice was gleeful. _

_"I can find him myself." Envy muttered, locating the flight of stairs. At the top, Envy turned left. _

_No library. _

_It backtracked. _

_"Found him yet?" Pride remarked dryly.  
><em>

_"Shut up." _

_The dark shot out and sliced Envy's arm, but of course it healed almost at once. "It's that red door on the left." Pride added. _

_Envy pushed the door open soundlessly. Apparently they kept their hinges well-oiled. A lamp was burning inside, casting a yellow light. Shadows moved on the walls, a pen was scratching frenetically on paper. Envy closed the door tightly. It locked from the inside. _

_Excellent. _

_Cramer didn't notice the sound of the door, too intent on whatever he was scribbling. He was not a young man, but he seemed to have aged ten years since Envy had last seen him. It approached his desk silently, anticipation growing with every step. _

_"What are you writing?" _

_Cramer looked up, and did a triple-take. _

_"Y-you're that – that monster!" _

_He lurched to his feet, causing his chair to fall over, and took several steps backwards. _

_"Oh yes." Envy grinned, wide, insane. "And, guess who else I am." It switched smoothly into the form of Cramer's wife. _

_That set him to screaming for around fifteen minutes, until his voice gave out. There was the sound of hammering on the door, but this was the kind of house where everything was made of very sturdy wood. Which, incidentally, was reinforced from within by Pride. They wouldn't get through any time soon. _

_"Why?" Cramer rasped, finally. "Why?" _

_"You wouldn't understand." Envy said, switching back to its preferred form. "It's bigger than you could comprehend. But you're very important to us. We like to keep a _close_ watch on you." _

_Envy spread its arms, and, as if on rehearsed cue, Pride's eyes blossomed in every corner of shadow. _

_It wasn't longer after that before Cramer shot himself with his military-issue pistol. _

_"He didn't even use alchemy to do it." Pride commented in that puzzled, all-too-innocent voice. "He must not have been a very good alchemist." _

_"Doesn't seem like it." Envy agreed, dipping a finger into the pool of blood and tasting it. "Pro'lly lucky we got Kimblee instead." _

_"Lucky for you." Pride said brightly. "Father would have done something worse if you'd caused a scene and come back empty-handed." _

_And just like that, Pride was gone. Envy shuddered. _

_Just to be extra thorough, Envy checked what Cramer had been writing. It was, alarmingly enough, an account of what had transpired between Envy and Kimblee. Apparently Cramer had observed quite a bit from a distance. Envy crumpled the paper, then frowned. Who knew how much he had written about it? It might have to search the whole damn library...  
><em>

_The pounding on the door was louder now, it sounded as though they were actually trying to break it down. And, now that Pride was gone, they might succeed.  
><em>

_With a casual swipe of its arm, Envy pushed over the lamp. _Cramer had been drinking scotch, and Envy pushed that over too. _The flames spread quickly, first to the documents on the table, then sparks made their way to the carpet. It fed the crumpled paper to the blaze, enjoying the warmth on its fingertips, allowing itself to take a moment's satisfaction in a job well done._

.  
><em><br>Not a long while later, Envy reflect on how it disliked standing in front of Wrath's desk, like an officer being briefed or, in this case, berated. Lust stood a few paces behind Envy, leaning against the wall, neither defending nor rebuking._

_To other witnesses of the incident, the Fürer President had issued the following statement: the incident had been the doing of the military, concerning the escape of an experimental chimera. However, as the event was of a highly secret and – obviously – dangerous nature, they could say no more on the subject. _

_The fact that the issue had been contained, however, did not mean that it was erased. _

_"Plenty enough will know our story for the lie it is." Wrath said. He had removed his eye patch, and the Ourobros mark gazed accusingly at Envy. "Men who should have known about any such project – alchemists, doctors, high-ranking generals – will question why, and what other secrets are being kept from them." _

_"Let them suspect." Envy said, unwilling to concede the point. "We'll kill them too, or bring them in on the truth." _

_"That doesn't change the fact that what happened was disastrous. By some miracle, no one was injured except our new alchemist and there were no casualties, but that was a stroke of sheer luck and people will know it. I do not intend to rule a city where monsters rampage uncontrolled on the streets!" _

_"You don't rule anything." Envy spat. "Father gave it to you!" _

_The resulting fight demolished half of Wrath's office, and ended only when Lust threw herself between them, claws flashing. _

_"That's enough, both of you!" She growled.  
><em>

_They both stood down, whether in desire not to hurt her or in fear of the 'ultimate spear' is anyone's guess. _

_"You're lucky I can't transform here." Envy muttered, glaring daggers at Wrath, who was cleaning his sword. _

_"Go ahead, Envy. Give Father an excuse." Wrath sheathed his sword with a sharp hiss of metal-on-metal. "Give me one." _

_"I said, stop it." Lust snapped, glaring at both of them. "You're lucky I don't inform Father about both of you." _

_"He already knows." A voice came from nowhere, making Envy and Lust jump. Wrath was too accustomed to living with Pride to be taken unawares. It must say something about the younger homunculus's nerve, reflected Envy, that he could live with that thing every day and not go as stark-raving-mad as Cramer. _

_Not that Envy cared._

.  
><em>When Envy and Lust were finally allowed to leave Wrath's office, Envy hesitated on the threshold of the door that would take them back undergound.<em>

_"I want to go let Kimblee know we dealt with Cramer. He seemed concerned about it when talking to Father." _

_"You mean you're not in a hurry to go home and deal with Father's punishment for letting your temper get away from you. Again." _

_"That goes without saying." Envy responded quietly. "I won't be long." It turned to go.  
><em>

_"Envy?" _

_"What?" It turned, annoyed. She held up a key. _

_"I had it made while you were…indisposed. I figure you've had enough of breaking in for one night." _

_Envy took the key from her gingerly. _

_"Thank you." _

_It never quite knew how to respond to favors from family._

.

(A/N: 'So you're like a lizard?' Another smooth pick-up line from the Red Lotus Alchemist XD Thanks for reading!)


	5. Auto Eroticism

(A/N: Tread lightly with this one, it is worthy of the fic's rating. Also, I don't think Kimblee's roommate ever gets a name -_-' Not that it matters, the poor bastard should be glad to get out when he does, AND to remain anonymous.)

.

There was no question of sleeping after Envy left. Kimblee's mind was too full - the darkness, the alleged conspiracy, Father's plans, what it all meant, his part in it.

The cryptic warning about the shadows was indeed enough to scare him, but he reminded himself than this new fact was not contingent upon his knowledge of it. That threat had existed all along, he had simply been unaware. Better to know than not to. Ignorance might indeed be bliss, when monsters stalked you in the shadows, but knowledge was power, and he preferred the latter to the former.

He thought about Envy as well. It was impossible for him not to. Their encounters had been so brief they could hardly be said to know each other at all, and yet since when was the value of something measured chronologically? Explosions were the essence of brevity, but it was in their evanescent intensity which lay the thrill. Envy was like an explosion, changing everything in an instant. The memory of that icy touch on his skin, slight as it had been, was exhilarating.

_My body doesn't create its own warmth_, Envy had said. That meant that it could absorb warmth from other sources, right?

Although not usually given to 'nurturing' impulses, he found he wanted to warm the homunculus up. He imagined it lying beside him, under the blankets, drawn into his nest of body heat. How cold Envy would be, at first. He imagined lying skin-to-skin until their temperatures were aligned, no matter how long it took…

Yeah, he definitely wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon. He shifted, sliding one hand down, down, deciding to take advantage of his roommate's state of unquestionable unconsciousness.

_Doesn't it bother you? _The critical question had gone unanswered. For all he knew, Envy was content to be cold. For the sake of his fantasy, however, warmth was as pleasant for a homunculus as it was for a human, if not as necessary. Envy would press close against him, touching in every way possible, arms around his neck, legs intertwined with his and oh, Envy would be warm then; _he_ was burning up just thinking about it.

He thought about how Envy would feel in his arms, slender and yet strong as forged steel; he imagined that Envy's hair, so distinctive to look at, would feel like a cat's whisker in his hands. Thought about the graceful, tantalizing contours of muscle, taught as a drawn bowstring. Visualized running his fingertips over them like water pooling and flowing down Envy's arms, shoulders, neck, chest, stomach, legs…he wanted those legs wrapped around him. He didn't care what was between them, so long as there was something, something tight and slick that he could _pound_ into…thoughts were malleable, and in his mind Envy was male and female and a range of things in-between, changing with whim, with desire, wrapped all around him, deep and hot and tight –

He groaned through clenched teeth as he came, sated but not satisfied, and the presence of his imagined partner faded from his mind.

_You've got it all wrong._ Greed's words replayed involuntarily in his mind. _Envy is an 'it'. And you're a human. It would be a cold day in hell. _

Was he setting himself up for failure? And for that matter...why did it matter? He was no stranger to physical desire, and yet his had never fixated so suddenly, so intensely, on anyone before Envy.

Why?

He didn't know. And he liked that he didn't know. It made things more interesting. He wanted to follow this fascination as far as he could, to get as close as he could, to be destroyed in the blast or shaken to the bone in the fallout. Whether ecstasy or agony was in store, it had to be better than boredom.

.

He had no words to adequately describe Monday morning - well, aside from being tired. Never mind about that, it was the psychological aspect that was worth noting. How could he explain the feeling when everything has changed, and yet nothing is different? Obnoxiously early muster, the drudgery of his menial and unchallenging tasks, the forced, uninteresting conversation. The humdrum, painfully banal life of a 'normal' person.

So strange to think, beneath them all, there existed a secret world unbeknownst to this one, just waiting to rise up and devour this bright kingdom in which humans believed they ruled supreme. What would happen, when humans discovered they were no longer the apex predator of the world? They would find out, eventually, even when it was already too late, when they were already falling, and then…

He smiled.

It wasn't that he fancied himself impervious to the danger that no one else suspected. No. If anything, he was more at risk than anyone else, at least at the moment. It wasn't even about the rewards he had been promised, the power and the money and all of it, although that certainly sweetened the deal. This wasn't an issue of risk and reward, at least not on that level.

Even if it cost him his life, even if he received nothing at all in return, it was so well worth it, just to be privy to this clandestine truth, this secret.

Life didn't seem like a boring waste of time anymore. What reward could compare to that? What risk could detract from it?

His unusually cheerful demeanor attracted some odd looks at work, but he couldn't bring himself to be bothered. At least not until when, at lunch, Blake approached him. His expression was grim.

"I take it you haven't heard the news?"

"What?" His heart lurched unpleasantly in his chest, anticipating questions about the incident with Envy, his involvement, his alibi…

"Cramer was found dead in his house this morning. Suicide."

It was a profound relief, but he schooled his face into a look of surprised remorse. "He did seem a bit upset when I walked him home." A long pause. "I…I should have stayed with him or something. I had no idea…"

"None of us did." Blake said in a consoling tone, apparently mollified by Kimblee's act. "Don't blame yourself."

He had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing.

.

An amusing day was followed by an amusing evening. He walked through the door of his apartment to find his roommate hitting on Lust. She sat on the far left of the couch, and he sat as close to her as possible short of being on her lap.

"Zolf, I was wondering when you'd be getting back." She got to her feet, smiling just a tad stiffly. "Not out playing around on me, are you?"

"I wouldn't dream of it." He took off his coat and hung it by the door, trying hard to hide his amusement at the disgruntled homunculus. "You should have called; I would have been home sooner. Can I offer you a drink?"

"No." She stood, tilting her head in the direction of his room. "I'd rather get straight down to business."

He wished he could have photographed his roommate's expression and framed it.

"_You are getting a private room._" Lust intoned fiercely as soon as Kimblee had closed the door tightly. "I'm telling Father it's _imperative_."

"That bad?"

"Fifteen more minutes, I would have sliced him horizontally and vertically."

"Too bad the two of you didn't have more time to get acquainted. I'm assuming it was you guys who were behind Cramer's death?"

She arched a brow. "Envy didn't tell you?"

Oops. Apparently that was what Envy was _supposed _to have told him, rather than whispering classified knowledge about the rest of its kind.

"I was half-asleep when Envy was here." He lied. "I just wanted to verify while I'm more awake."

"Yes, we were behind it. The real problem was in the other witnesses of Envy's transformation, but it seems we contained the damage. Father is still unhappy, though, which is why I'm here rather than Envy."

Her voice was grim. He was struck with the ludicrous impression that she cared about her sibling. That in Envy's suffering, she was suffering too. It was strangely touching, this bit of affection in the face of all their ghoulish brutality.

"I'm sorry." It was one of the few true things he had said that day.

"It was as a result of Envy's own actions." She said it like a mantra.

There was a moment of heavy silence. Finally, Kimblee ventured,

"How did you manage to make it appear self-inflicted?"

"It was. Not all humans react as…placidly as you, to creatures like us. Actually, that's what I'm here concerning. Sometimes people have _complications_, after we take them underground."

He grinned. "Oh?"

"In my experience, one of four things tends to happen." She held up a slender, black-clad finger. "One: they doubt what they saw was even real. Decide they were having a psychotic episode. Two, even if they rationally know it happened, something in them refuses to accept it, and they go into denial. Or, three, they can't reconcile it with their view of reality at all. Their mind simply breaks from the strain."

"And the fourth option?"

"They take their own lives."

"You seem to have a high turnover rate as employers."

The quip fell flat. Far from 'hitting on her', as Envy had put it, she seemed hardly to register his existence.

"Alright, seeing as I haven't gone insane, is that all you came here for?"

"Basically." She shrugged. "But I assume you don't want your roommate to think we're dressed and done in…what's it been, three minutes?"

"I work quickly and efficiently."

Again, nothing.

.

As a result of fighting with Wrath and by extension of the disastrous public transformation, Envy was grounded. Literally, not allowed to go above ground until otherwise specified.

It was on a routine check of one of their several mechanical rooms, and it was exhausted - the homunculus, not the room. The room was feverishly hot and humid, but for a short time it was a welcome reprieve from the sunless chill of the tunnels outside. The heat made Envy more aware of its own weariness. It didn't need to sleep, but sometimes it really wanted to. The urge was more a craving than a need, like the impulse to smoke a cigarette when one is trying to quit. Intense, but fated to pass with time.

Envy didn't always care to wait it out, though. Shit, this must be what Sloth felt like all the time: eyes heavy and sore, head in a fog. Envy pushed the thought way. It didn't care to dwell on the subject on its siblings.

It had possessed a 'bedroom' once. Several, in fact. Greed had always insisted on a place of his own, and anything Greed got, naturally, Envy was entitled to as well. It didn't quite have the same appetite for owning things, though. The rooms inevitably fell out of use, either being allocated to other purposes or forgotten all together. Envy rarely went back to check. For some reason, every room that it had taken for its own became abhorrent to it after long enough.

Again, Envy preferred no to dwell on it.

This left it in a fix at the moment, because there weren't a lot of comfortable places to lie down in their abode. It was sort of the antithesis of comfort. Still, this room was as good a place as any, if only because of the temperature. There weren't any problems with the machinery, but Envy could pretend to have been fixing something if Father got on its case for dawdling. So what if the room was rather airless, Envy didn't really need to breathe anymore than it needed to sleep.

It located a tangle of coiled hose and a plastic tarp, which where lumpy but had more give than the solid bedrock of which the floor, walls, and ceiling were made. It curled up and closed its eyes. Then stretched out. Then curled up again. Opened its eyes. Closed them. Curled up. Stretched out. Opened eyes.

_Damn _it.

So the sleep thing wasn't happening. It could lie there and close its eyes and feel tired all it wanted, sleep apparently was not a direct result of fatigue.

It wasn't ready to leave, though. Exhaustion was like a physical pain, distracting and distressing. Envy didn't really want to be there, doing that, but it wanted to be doing anything else even less.

_Do you want out? _Kimblee's question recalled itself to Envy for some reason.

It wanted out of this, although it didn't know what 'this' was. There had to be more, more to existing, than this…

_When the world is ours, it will be different_. Envy told itself, as it often did. The thought of the future was cold comfort. It could work for a happy future, but how could it _hope _for such a thing, when it had no idea what said future would even look like?

On a whim, Envy shifted into Greed. It wasn't something Envy did often, maybe once every several years or so. Yet the transformation happened automatically – almost instinctively. It had started a long time ago, when Envy was more curious, less bitter and alienated from everyone, itself included. It had been curious, and feeling brave; it had wanted to know what Greed felt like. Greed's body was old news now, but there was still the echo of distant thrill to it.

It was the details that Envy appreciated. For all that Greed was built like a cart-horse (or maybe a bear, since bears are predators), his body was not lacking grace or subtlety. His wrists might be thick as tree branches, and yet Envy found delight in the refined articulation of muscles and tendons and bones, the subtle protrusion of the ulna at the wrist's most slender point, the veins across the tops of his hands, the Orobros tattoo on his left hand. He brought his hand to his mouth, laying the mark against his lips. Envy liked how Greed's lips were the only soft thing about his face.

Then there was Greed's neck, solid and strong, and yet there was something delicate about his jugular notch. Envy could feel a pulse there if he searched for it. There was no pulse to be found in the same area of Envy's usual form. Greed's body was apparently more demonstrative of life that Envy's.

Envy didn't want to think about itself just then.

Greed was also naturally warmer than Envy. He could feel a sheen of sweat blossom on his pilfered form, but he wasn't ready to leave the warmth yet. There was still Greed's sternum, the hard, dramatically accented muscles of his stomach, his sharp hip-bones, the trail of coarse, dark hair down to –

It was Greed's fault, damn it! He was male after all; gendered, sexed, _sexual_. And Greed was so self-loving, something of that must carry over along with his body. It wasn't Envy's fault it got pulled into the trap of physical desires when it took on Greed's form. (There was of course the issue of why Envy chose to assume that form in the first place, but as I said, Envy does not like to dwell on this.)

Envy felt superlatively guilty as he ran his fingers up the length of Greed's now hard member. The guilt wasn't enough to stop him though. It hadn't, that first time over a century ago when Envy hadn't quite figured life out yet, and it sure wasn't going to stop him now. He quickened the motion of his hand, biting back a moan. It was always long enough between incidences like these that the sensations took him by surprise.

_So, not even you want to touch yourself, leviathan? _

It was all too easy to imagine the barbs Greed would throw at him, they'd known each other long enough. Yet somehow the pain of the insult only heightened the pleasure. Sometimes it was welcome just to feel anything, which Envy hardly did anymore.

_Go ahead and use my body if you need to. Whoever said I'm not generous? _

Now that he had started, he didn't want to stop. It was shameful delicious and humiliating and he wanted _more_.

On a masochistic whim, Envy changed its form from Greed to Kimblee. It made sense, in a way. He was Greed's latest conquest, or would be soon enough. Besides, the variation was nice. Envy rarely understood Greed's motives when it came to his endless erotic episodes, but in this instance Envy saw the appeal. Kimblee was interesting as humans went, and good to look at. Playing with his body would be fun.

The first thing he did was reach up and free his hair from its neat ponytail, running his fingers through it. It was nice hair, long and soft, not something Envy got to enjoy in Greed's form.

The apparatus of his new body throbbed insistently, and he returned his attention to it. With his right hand otherwise occupied, he brought up the left hand and flicked his tongue around the perimeter of the transmutation circle. This was the one with the moon in the center, symbolic of silver and the feminine. He had never noticed before, Greed's body had never led him to, that the palms of the hands were such a sensitive area.

There was something missing. The sting of Greed's derision was the catalyst that made this pleasure what it was, and yet Envy had trouble imagining Kimblee saying anything especially cruel to him, probably because they were still on polite acquaintance terms. Nothing at all like Greed.

He settled on picturing the two of them together, Greed's touch on Kimblee's body, the two of them occupying that space reserved for Greed and his chosen partners, something that, briefly, fleetingly, could be akin to love. It was hardly an exclusive category, and yet one which Envy had nonetheless never been allowed into. And that was fine, he didn't _want _to be with Greed in that way or Kimblee either, Envy didn't do those nasty human things, and yet…

_You're such a liar, Envy_. For some reason, Greed using his real name left more of a sting than any 'nickname'. _You've lied all your life and you'll lie yourself to death. _

_I'll outlive _you_! _Envy screamed inside his own mind. _Your greed will be the end of you! _

_Maybe I will die. But I'll die knowing I've lived. _

Suddenly, Envy wasn't aroused at all anymore.

It shifted abruptly back into its own form, genderless once more. Its body felt strange now, having worked itself almost to completion only to have the possibility snatched away. It felt sore, heavy with unresolved tension.

It remained there for a moment longer, curling in on itself, more conflicted than before.

_You'll all die. _

Father would kill Greed, sooner or later. Greed would rebel, and Father would kill him. Him, and all his human pets, unnamed, innumerable over the years, the decades. Even Kimblee would die, if not because he was a human and to be used in Father's plan, then because he was a human and all humans died so quickly for whatever reason.

_You'll die, and I'll be glad. _

And yet it was hard to picture the future without Greed in it.

.

(A/N: Pfffft Envy for being nonsexual you're such a littler pervert XD. I am going to bed now, and I will undoubtedly regret this in the morning. Er, later in the morning. Anyway, thanks for reading...I think...)


	6. Rest for the Wicked

It was Sunday morning, that depressing time when the weekend is on its deathbed and the next day will bring a new week of work.

As per Lust's declaration, Kimblee had received his room reassignment the day before. The plus side was: more space, less noise, more privacy. The downside, however, was that he owned no furniture. At the moment, his new home consisted of a few dishes, a stack of clothes, a stack of books, and a mattress.

More disconcerting than the emptiness of his new abode, or even the impending doom of Monday on the horizon, was the silence from his new employers, namely Envy. When they had last spoke, he had gotten the impression that Envy had intended to return rather soon. And yet days passed without a word.

The anticipation was beginning to drive him insane, as Sunday led into Monday, led into a new week, and the foreseeable weekend after… To be given a hint at the mystery, only to have the suspense drag out indefinitely, was torture. Unease grew in him as time went on in silence. He could not stop himself from wondering if something had gone wrong. What if Father had discovered that Envy had shared confidential information? _All children keep secrets from their Fathers, _Envy had said, and Kimblee could only hope Envy knew what it was doing. Lust had said Father would not kill Envy, that it was too useful. Yet that had been concerning a mistake, not a deliberate transgression.

He was not accustomed to feeling concern towards others, and he found he was not fond of it at all. He supposed that was the inescapable downside of having someone you wanted to see again: the possibility that you might not.

.

At work, he drank coffee in keeping with the rest of Amestris, but on his own time he was partial to a dark tea that didn't have a name in that country as far as he knew. The teapot on the stove whistled. As he was removing it from the stove and adding a strainer of leaves, there came a knock on the door. He frowned. He didn't know who it would be, but, given Envy's demonstrated ability for letting itself into his place of residence, it likely wasn't the person he wanted to see.

"Morning."

He almost dropped his cup in surprise when he opened the door.

"I thought you had a key."

"I did." Envy said. "Then you moved. And I lost my 'outside privileges' so I haven't been keeping up on things."

"What happened?"

"Fighting with Wrath. Nothing that unusual but I was on thin ice anyway." Envy grimaced. "Can I come in?"

"Oh – right, sorry." He stepped aside to let Envy enter, shutting and locking the door behind it. "Am I allowed to ask who Wrath is?"

"You can ask, but I can't tell you. Not even Greed knows that." Envy said it smugly. Kimblee assumed the secret was a point of contention. Then again, from what he had seen of their relationship almost anything was a point of contention, even himself.

"So, in keeping with the seven deadly sins motif," Kimblee said, walking back into the kitchen, "am I to assume you have six siblings?"

"That would be a logical assumption." Meaning it couldn't say. "But I didn't come here to talk about my family."

"Right. I would invite you to take a seat, but…" He gestured vaguely at his lack of fixtures.

"Yeah, what's the deal?" Envy asked, standing in the center of the living room with its hands on its hips, surveying the emptiness. "Your roommate demand alimony?"

"All the furniture was his." On a whim, he filled a second cup and with tea.

"Oh." Envy frowned. "But you're an alchemist. Can't you just make a couch or something?"

"Out of stone and dirt, or other such inhospitable substances. Anything more and I'd have to find the materials, and then figure out how they went together and so forth. I've never had any patience for that sort of thing. I don't want to be the Interior Decorator Alchemist."

Envy snorted, taking a seat on the floor beside the window. In the absence of a desk, reading materials were spread on the carpet, mostly archaic alchemical tombs and documents from Central's archives, interspersed here and there with hand-written notes and sketched diagrams. There were also a few texts composed of Xingian ideographs, which Envy could tell at a glance had not come from Wrath's neat and tidy Amestrian archives.

"So, what is this visit concerning?" Kimblee asked, setting a cup of tea on the windowsill beside Envy, before taking a seat himself.

"I don't need things like that." Envy said, glancing at the cup. Envy was unused to being shown courtesy when not acting a human role, and it caused an odd little flurry of unnameable emotion.

"No one _needs_ tea," Kimblee said, taking a seat across from his guest. "It's a preference."

Envy lifted the teacup to its lips, but the contents were still too hot for comfort. For some reason, Envy noticed Kimblee's hair; how this was the first time it had seen him with it down, and then, involuntarily, recalled how it had felt between its fingers –

Scowling, Envy took a gulp of the scalding tea, feeling its mouth blister and subsequently heal.

"For one thing, you'll be getting your first assignment this coming week. The first from us, I mean. The order will come via your current job, so we felt it was best if you knew what was really going on. In general, much of what you'll be asked to do as a State Alchemist from here on out will come from us."

"Good."

There was unspoken competition among low-status State Alchemists; in general, they all wanted assignments which were important, exciting, and, by extension would earn them recognition and therefore promotions. Kimblee hadn't had the best luck in that regard, and it was beginning to sting his pride. Yes, there were explanations: military status, like any other kind, was often as much about who one knew as what one was capable of. His lack of family connections coupled with his total disinterest in forming personal connections of his own put him at a disadvantage there. And of course there was always the issue of his less-than-pure pedigree.

Nonetheless, just because he could understand his lack of progress didn't make it tolerable.

"Anyway," Envy went on, "I expect you want to know…well, everything. The grand plan."

"Yes."

"...I've never been in a position to explain before." Envy said, after a moment, staring out the window pensively. "My siblings know, and no one else is allowed. The heart of the matter is this: Father intends to overthrow humanity. All the power which your kind has, individually, he will consolidate and unify. That is his goal: the raw potential of mankind, refined and utilized behind a single will."

It was not often Kimblee encountered something he had difficulty wrapping his mind around. This was one of those moments.

"What will he do with that power?" He asked, finally.

"Quite literally anything he wants." Envy smiled. It was slight, yet still the first genuinely happy expression Kimblee had seen thus far. "He could create worlds. Solar systems. Imagine the power of a single alchemist, then imagine the power of every alchemist – excluding yourself, of course – combined and unified."

"With the exclusion of myself. I wonder if I'm not naïve to take your word on that."

Envy shook its head. "You won't be used. The difference of one human life won't have an appreciable effect."

"How does Father plan on doing this?"

"I will tell you, but not yet. The general consensus is to ease you in."

"Whoever decided this doesn't seem to have a high opinion of me."

"Father doesn't think much of humans. And Pride doesn't think much of anyone at all."

There was a long moment of silence. Envy tried more of the tea, which had cooled somewhat. It was bitter, but pleasantly warm going down.

"You look tired." Kimblee ventured.

"I am." Envy closed its eyes.

"Do you sleep like humans do?"

"Not really. I don't need to sleep – not often, anyway, and I don't dream like humans either. I once went for a year without sleeping, but I got really strange towards the end of it."

"A year? What happened?"

Envy opened its eyes again, grinning crookedly. "I kept grabbing all this random trash off the ground and asking Greed if he wanted it, and then calling him a liar if he didn't say yes. I don't remember what happened after that, but I was told he punched me in the face and I was out cold for four days." Envy shifted, allowing itself to lie down on the carpet, on its side, facing Kimblee. "Is it alright if I stay here for a while?"

"As long as you want."

"I dunno about that, but I'll stay as long as I can."

"Are things bad, at home?"

"Not exactly." Envy shrugged with the shoulder it wasn't resting on. "I've lived in those tunnels longer than a human would _live_. You'd get tired of even of paradise, after that long." Envy closed its eyes. It doubted it would be able to sleep, but it was nice just to relax.

Silence fell again. Kimblee was content to let the moment last. He'd never considered it before, but it had to be hellish, not to sleep and dream regularly. Or to live in a place where you couldn't see the sky for days at a time. How paradoxical. Envy was a superior being, and yet there was nothing superior about the life it lived, going without these things that humans took for granted.

After a few minutes, he picked up one of the books and resumed his place in reading it.

"I have to ask." Envy said after a long while. Kimblee, who had assumed Envy was asleep, looked to find it watching him intently. "Are you're really…okay with all of this? Turning against your own kind?"

"The condition of being human is always being against your own kind."

"You mean waging war against each other and stuff?"

"War is one aspect of it, but it's so much more pervasive than that. Consider all the Amestrians who look down on me for being of mixed blood. Consider my grandmother, who looked down on me for the same reason but from the other side. Consider men who believe women are stupid and weak, or women who think men are all unfeeling neanderthals. Consider all the religions that condemn to hell anyone who follows a god other than theirs. The idea of kinship between humans as a species is a myth."

"I don't disagree with you." Envy's voice was strangely soft. "But you won't just be turning against the Amestrians or the Xingians, against the men or the women or the Christians or the Letians. You'll be turning against _all of them_. Are you prepared to do that?"

"I am."

"Do you hate all other humans?"

He shook his head. "I don't view a single man, woman, or child as deserving of my hate, and that goes for collective groups as well as individuals."

Envy's brow furrowed slightly. "Then why?"

"Why not? More species have gone extinct than are alive today, a hundred times more. Some would say it's a tragedy, but that's the course of nature. And if it happens, when it happens, I want to be on the front line watching. Most people say that life is based around love, but when you look at it, life is characterized by struggle. Its the conflict that makes life what it is, and I want to _live_."

"What about afterwards? Won't you be…lonely, without any others?"

"…No less than I am now. The presence of other humans has never changed that. Things like hate and love, I don't feel these strong attachments towards anyone, and that sets me apart from everyone." He tilted his head slightly. "Do you feel companionship with your own kind?"

"I –" Envy gaped, clearly never having considered such a thing. "I don't know." Another pause. "With Lust, I do, I guess, but one in six is pretty abysmal…"

Kimblee grinned. "So there _are _seven of you."

"W-damn it!"

"I'm not going to betray you. Certainly not on the basis of that piece of information."

Envy sighed, curling in on itself. "Why do you ask me these things? What's it to you if I feel companionship with the others?"

"...Because I can, I suppose." He said, after a moment contemplating the question. "Anyone else, I would make an enemy of them in a moment if I were to share my true thoughts."

"Considering how stupid most humans are, I can why you won't miss them."

"I will miss them though. That doesn't mean I'm going to save them."

"I understand. At least, I think I do." Envy closed its eyes again. It was a good example of how Envy had felt about Greed, once, when it had realized the older sin's days were numbered. Nowadays it didn't care.

.

It woke suddenly, in darkness, to the feeling of darkness touching it. Envy jerked upright.

"_Pride!" _

There was no answer. Envy stared into the questionably empty darkness. Either it had only dreamed Pride was there, or he was there but silent. Who ever knew?

Regardless, it was time to go. Long past time, in fact. Envy had only meant to stay for an hour or so. Hopefully there wouldn't be trouble about it. Envy climbed to its feet, feeling even wearier than before somehow.

On a whim, it retrieved the cup of tea from the windowsill, now long cold. It drank the tepid liquid anyway, although it was disgusting.

.

(A/N: Some stuff:

'Letians' is a nod to the followers of Leto. Not sure how prevalent they actually were in the FMA verse, but I felt I needed something to balance the references to specific real-world religions.

I'm a tea addict and Kimblee reflects this.

I don't see Kimblee as hateful, which is why he's always struck me as an interesting villain. He actually seems to me like one of the least conflicted characters of FMA. Both these things also make him an excellent contrast to Envy, who is both hateful and deeply conflicted, poor li'l bug. Again, I'm not arguing that this makes the horrible things he does tolerable or excusable, I just like that he differs from the typical villain prototype. In a way, you could say he's worse than many other villains, because while they might have insane rationales for taking lives, Kimblee needs no rationale at all. He is the closest I can get to writing a true sociopath, but given the tags for this story, obviously I don't render him completely lacking the ability to form attachments.

And, as always, thanks for reading!)


	7. Laboratory Five

(A/N: Neid is pronounced like 'Hide'. Also, as per usual, this is not well edited, so feel free and welcome to point out any typos/errors. It was amazing how many errors I found when I read it aloud with my friends all doing different voices. Imagine Wrath with Nixon's voice. I nearly died XD. Kyle and Kaze, I dedicate this chapter to you :3)

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Although Kimblee had been notified in advance, the assignment was a surprise when it arrived. He was, the document informed him, to be working under a certain Dr. Timothy Marcoh.

Doctor? As in, a medical Doctor? He frowned. Yes, the report specified that they would be doing 'research of a medicinal-alchemical nature'. As far as application of his abilities went, that was only a small step up from interior design in terms of interest. It was required that all State Alchemists learn the basics of human anatomy, which he had found interesting enough, but he assumed that working in the medical field would be dreadfully dull if one had no regard for whether their patients lived or died.

He reminded himself that the order had come from Father. Whatever he would be called to do, it wasn't what the official report would lead one to believe. He only hoped that it was more interesting than the official report led _him_ to believe.

And it was progress of sorts, if not the specific kind he had envisioned. It was an unspoken rule that alchemists were overseen by other alchemists, so being officially placed under Dr. Marcoh was an advancement of sorts, if not in rank per se.

Reading on, his eyes widened in surprise. His new assignment placed him in Laboratory Five, which was about as secret as secret could be and still have people know where it was located. To that purpose, he had been given full security clearance, whereas before he had been just above that of a civilian's.

Whatever he would be doing, it was at least moving him up in the world.

.

Lab Five was innocuous enough from the outside, not displaying the often ornate architecture characteristic of important military buildings, particularly those in Central. Indeed, it took him a moment to even locate the door, and he was half-expecting no one to answer.

He certainly wasn't expecting it to be answered by Envy, wearing the uniform of a soldier.

"Invidia?"

"That's Major Neid, to you." Envy said with a wink, beckoning him inside.

"I…had no idea you were in the army."

"Only now and again when the need arises. They follow orders better when they think I'm a figure of legitimate authority."

"'They'?"

"Your soon-to-be co-workers. You'll meet them soon, but first I'll give you the grand tour. It's easy to get lost in this place."

It was indeed deceptively intricate on the inside. He realized, as they traveled down a number off oddly angled corridors, that the building itself was structured to facilitate the performance of alchemy within its walls.

As for the rooms, most of them were shut and locked, but Envy pointed out a few accessible places of interest, usually lab rooms based around a specific alchemical purpose. Many of them were a certain shape: one room was entirely triangular, down to the light bulbs in the ceiling, another, hexagonal; built as some sort of extended transmutation circles, meant to amplify whatever was performed therein.

There were many supply rooms, containing every ingredient one could possibly call for, and many more that had no conceivable purpose at all (why would he ever need quinoa flour for alchemy? And blood-of-virgin, _really?_ What was this, the Dark Ages?) as well as a few archive rooms that he couldn't wait to explore very thoroughly, assuming he could find his way back to them.

The final door Envy led him through opened to a strange menagerie. In cages that lined the wall, there were numerous and varied species of animals – dogs, cats, two hyenas, a bear, a lion, a glass tank filled with snakes, a komodo dragon, a bobcat, several goats, and an aquarium with an enormous octopus.

The thing that set this place apart from any zoo, however, were the cages which contained humans. That seemed to be where most of the noise was coming from, for as soon as the door opened, many of them began to talk, or shout, or beg or just plain cuss them out. It was difficult to distinguish one voice from another.

"Shut up!" Envy shouted, seizing a chair and hurling it against the bars with an earsplitting clatter. They fell quiet to a one. From they way they looked at Envy, they had clearly learned to fear the homunculus in however long they had been there.

"Lust made the mistake of quieting them down with morphine." Envy explained, once the noise had died down. "It worked wonders for a while, but then they just got louder because they thought it would get them more." It grinned. "You really can't show them any sort of mercy at all."

"Who are they?" Kimblee asked, eying the prisoners with interest.

"Death row convicts for the most part."

"Am I to be an executioner?"

"No – well, incidentally yes, but that's not the point." Envy handed Kimblee the file it had been carrying. "This is the full description of your duties and objectives concerning your work in Lab Five. You won't be working here all the time, but when you are, it will consist mainly of two things, the first of which being the creation of human-based chimeras."

There came a despairing wail from one of the prisoners.

"I said shut it!" Envy snapped. "You'd only be killed anyway, why are you always whining?"

"And the second thing?" Kimblee prompted.

"Uh, right. Your other task, the more important one, is the creation of philosopher's stones."

Kimblee merely stared at Envy for a moment, who regarded his shock with a smug look.

"…You're serious." He managed at length.

"It's all in there," Envy said, pointing at the file. "Right from Father."

"How?"

"Eh, you're the alchemist, that's where you come in. I only know the underlying principle: the harvesting of human lives for power."

Kimblee began to laugh, quietly, and then not so quietly. Before long, he was in stitches. The prisoners huddled further back in their cages, wondering what new demon they were now at the mercy of.

"What's up with you?" Envy asked, amused.

"Oh," he brought up one hand to wipe at his eyes, "just to think, at first I was afraid this work would be boring."

.

To bring two disparate forms together into a chimera, one must condition them to and for one another.

Cut off a human's leg, cut off the opposite leg of the animal with which you intended to combine it. Put out a human's right eye, put out the animal's left eye. The more characteristics you wished to transfer, the more of each you had to take, prior to their combination. You have to make room in them, for each other.

For the best results, one must take as much of both of their bodies as you could, just short of killing them. Ironically, the closer they were brought to death, the more that was taken, the more subtle and robust their bodies would be when the process was complete. The human and animal sides would be more attuned, better-fitted to one another.

It was not a matter of literal cut-and-paste, of course. You would not end up with some Frankenstein monster with a mish-mash of human and animal body parts – a goat's eye here, a bear's claw there, oh no. That was where the alchemy came in: combining seamlessly the two forms which had been made to mirror one another, yet creating a sum total more than any of the parts which comprised it.

Kimblee, being the perfectionist that he was, had a tendency to push things too far, to take too much, and have both human and animal die prematurely. (That, combined with his tendency to hum Beethoven's Für Elise as he sliced living things down to their barest minimum, did not help his popularity with the other researchers.)

Interestingly and perhaps predictably, the animals usually held out longer than the humans. Not surprising, once he considered it. The humans had been behind bars a long time, and were none too fit at this point. Perhaps he would request stronger humans for test subjects.

.

The only disappointing part of his new job, as per usual, were his human compatriots. There just didn't seem to be any escaping that pitfall for him.

There were six people assigned to the job, Doctor Marcoh and five assistants: Shou Tucker, Alden Thayer, Rex Leander, Conrad Morgenstern, and, of course, Zolf Kimblee.

They were all, except one, mortified by the work they were ordered to do. Few of them were openly showing it, yet, but the signs were there. Kimblee knew it was only a matter of time before they became mired in ethical crises. How troublesome.

To make the whole thing less arduous, he decided to bet with himself who would be the first to snap.

Thayer was the youngest there next to Kimblee himself, so that was a point in his favor. However, he also seemed, to Kimblee at least, rather simple-minded. Intelligent yes, but not smart. It might take a while for the deeper ramifications of the situation to penetrate his skull.

Tucker was the most openly demonstrative of his horror, often the one to pale and quake at the sight of blood, the first one to lose his composure when a subject died on them. Maybe he was already on his way to snapping, or maybe venting his feelings of horror would allow him to cope longer.

Unlike Leander, who was a rock in the face of everything asked of him. He might, almost, have been unaffected by their orders, but Kimblee didn't buy it. He knew another good actor when he saw him. The man was just putting up a strong front – a good one, but an act nonetheless. How long before he snapped, before the pent-up horror shattered him from the inside?

Morgenstern was the one Kimblee really wanted to see break. He was the one to justify what they were doing. He was nowhere near as resolute as Leander, but he would always square his shoulders, put on a stiff upper lip, and say that it was for the good of the country, or that it was their duty. Or, and this was the thing that irritated Kimblee most of all, that the people they were experimenting on were condemned criminals anyway.

.

"I don't understand them." He said to Envy, during once lunch break when everyone else was too nauseated to eat. It was a common occurrence, leading him to break bread with the homunculus far more often than any of his fellow researchers. They were on the roof, with Amestris sprawling out below them.

Envy didn't get or need lunch breaks, but it often found excuses to share Kimblee's – his break, and his lunch. It had started small, just a grape, a chip, a small scrap of meat, and then somehow he found himself packing extra helpings when he left for work in the morning.

"Why should it matter, what kind of people they are?" He continued. "Does that make their pain any less? Does that make them less alive, less human?"

"I should think it makes them especially human, being especially sinful." Envy reached out and swiped a morsel of chicken, then hopped onto the railing, uncaring of the several-story drop below. "But that's not how your kind likes to look at itself." It tilted its head to one side. "You're not gaining empathy for them, now are you?"

"I've empathized with them all along. They're more like me than most, having done whatever they did to get put on death row. But just because I can see myself in them doesn't mean I can't kill them."

"Freak." Envy teased.

"The real 'freaks' are people like Morgenstern. Doesn't he see the hypocrisy, in using what they've done as justification for what we're doing to them? How does the government's approval change what it means to take a life? Why is everyone an idiot?"

"Morality isn't based in logic. It exists to let people believe they're superior – to animals, to other humans who disagree with them, to me and my kind, when they meet us. So if Morgenstern's morals are allowing him to go about his life with a clear conscience – er, clearer than it would be otherwise – then they're doing their job."

"Even if I believed in some objective system of ethics, what would qualify someone to carry it out as they see fit? Who could be that arrogant, to believe they know what's 'right', that they know what justice should be dealt out to strangers?"

"What about you, then? Do you think this is wrong?"

"I don't see it on those terms."

"What do you think is wrong, then? Nothing at all?"

"Hypocrisy, irrationality, baseless arrogance." He shrugged. "Those things bother me more than what most people would call 'evil'."

"Do you think I'm evil?"

"The rabbit would certainly think the wolf is evil. By human standards, you're the very definition of the term."

"What about _your_ standards?"

"I'm human, aren't I? But like I said, evil doesn't bother me."

"So you see me as technically evil, but you don't care."

"That sounds about right, yes."

"How do you see yourself, then?"

"Oh much worse." He said lightly. "You're siding with your own kind, I'm stabbing mine in the back. From a human perspective, that evil is the worst of all. And a bit stupid on top of evil, perhaps. Being a rabbit throwing himself to the wolves."

"I don't see you as the rabbit type."

"That's good to know."

Envy took another bite of chicken, then, "If it makes you feel better, we will kill them eventually. Morgenstern and the others, I mean. We'll see how good it does them, to die while feeling superior."

He smiled. "That a promise?"

"It is." Envy gave him a look that was almost…sympathetic. "I spend a good deal of my time impersonating various humans, and I don't hate anyone as much as the ones I have to put up with, when I'm under cover."

"Do you get to kill them after?"

"Not all of them. I will someday, though. I keep a list." For a moment, there was a very grim look on Envy's face, but it passed in a moment, replaced by a look of malicious glee. "So, who here do you think will be the first to snap?"

Kimblee laughed. "Would you believe I've spent these last weeks contemplating that very question?"

"_Yes_. Who's your money on?"

"I can't tell yet."

"Leander will snap first, but Tucker will snap _worst_."

"He does seem the most deeply disturbed by it all, at least most openly."

Envy shook its head, holding up one finger. "There's more to it than that. I've looked at Tucker's records, and he is what you might call…'ill-adjusted'. The reason he's having so much trouble is that he's _conflicted. _ On some level, he's fascinated by what he's doing here, at the power it gives him. But he doesn't have the guts to admit it to himself. The denial is what he's struggling with."

"Interesting."

"Oh yes. When it happens, it will be very _interesting._ Not sure how it will play out with Morgenstern and Theyer, though."

"And Doctor Marcoh?"

"He already did, as a matter of fact. Told us he wouldn't do it, that he would resign. Then we told him we would kill him. Soon enough he'll tell us to kill him anyway, and that's when we'll start threatening the lives of others."

"I see. But there's one left."

"No there's not."

"Why, I'm _hurt_."

"You?" Envy snorted. "Either you cracked the worst a long time ago, or you'll never break, ever."

"You don't think my fragile mind is at risk of collapsing under the strain?"

"Of dealing with morons all day, maybe." Envy suddenly frowned. "Now I think about it, you'll probably be the one they turn on. If that starts to happen, don't feel like you have to be a hero. Father will re-assign you if the other humans aren't playing nice."

"I'm the one who doesn't play nice. I can take care of myself."

Envy shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'm just saying, you're worth more to us alive."

.

When Envy wasn't around, his second favorite choice of conversation was the subjects themselves. The other researches were loathe to interact with the prisoners, as though not acknowledging their subject's humanity would make the whole thing more bearable.

Needless to say, Kimblee felt no guilt or unease at interacting with someone who was at his complete and total mercy, and knew it. The dynamic was more interesting that way. It cut through all the bullshit.

"Why not let me out? Wouldn't it be nice, to save a life?"

It was a plea he had heard before.

"Not especially. Besides, if I let you out I expect I'd be your replacement."

"Feh. You're the one who oughtta be in here." The man had little real spirit in his argument. He'd lost that a long time ago.

"'Ought to'? I would think one in your position would have dispensed with the notion that certain things 'ought' to happen to people as a result of their actions."

"What if I told you I was innocent of the crimes they condemned me for?"

"I would deeply pity you. But I would still kill you."

"I killed. I admit it. But that was different. I was _angry_. Not like you."

"I'll be angry, if you continue with this nonsense. Are you claiming your death would be less objectionable, if I had a 'reason'?"

One of the others was laughing. "No, no, they've got it all wrong. You don't have to have a reason to kill. Having reasons detracts from the fun!"

Kimblee turned, looking more closely at the prisoner who had spoken. Underneath the unkempt beard and the grime…

"You look familiar."

The man laughed. "My handsome face was plastered all across the news a few years back. You should remember, you're not _that _young."

He snapped his fingers. "You're that…that butcher fellow."

"Barry the Chopper! Get the name right!"

"I apologize, mister Chopper. As I recall, weren't there twenty-three bodies to your name?"

"Twenty-four, actually. I held out on the location of the last one."

"My my." He grinned. "I had no idea I would be working with celebrities."

Barry the Chopper laughed heartily. "Kid, you really are one sick puppy."


	8. Out on the Town

It was Friday evening, and Kimblee was looking forward to a night of research and sleep, until,

"Off duty?"

Greed hailed him as he made his way towards the door. It seemed the homunculi came and went from the building as they pleased.

"Why yes." He replied. "And you?"

"Hell no, but we should get drinks anyway." Greed fell into step beside him. "I'll buy."

"You're rather free with your money for someone of your name."

"It's a rare thing. Consider yourself lucky."

"It sounds fun, but…"

"What? Don't go all Envy on me."

"Let me put it this way: the army has a policy of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'. But if I'm seen at a bar with some big buff guy liquoring me up, questions will be asked."

"Two things: your straight-laced army buddies wouldn't be caught dead in the places _I _go, and if they were, you'd have as much dirt on them as they did on you. Second: you work for _us _now. No one is going to ask you awkward questions ever again."

He wasn't quite so confident in what he could get away with, but oh, even a finite measure of freedom was so very sweet.

"When you put it that way, I think a celebratory drink is in order."

"What about you?" Greed said.

"What-" Kimblee began.

"Not you. That." Greed pointed to Envy, who, unknown to Kimblee, had been sitting in an alcove ten feet above them as they approached.

"You wanna come with us," Greed continued. "Or would you prefer to skulk around here?"

Envy assumed an exaggerated attitude of contemplation. "Hm, watching the two of you get drunk and fuck each other. Sounds like a delightful way to spend the evening."

"Don't be crazy, Leviathan. We'd never let you watch."

Envy sarcastically traced a tear line from the corner of its eye.

"In all seriousness, though, would you like to join us?" Kimblee said. "We'll keep it appropriate if you'd–"

"Maybe _you _will." Greed interjected.

"– be more comfortable that way." He finished, as though Greed had not spoken.

Envy frowned. Trading barbs with Greed was so normal it hardly mattered, and yet for some reason, Kimblee trying to be civil was the thing that stung. Envy had almost forgotten that this human had fallen into the vast territory of Greed's 'possessions', and the reminder of that, seeing them together…

Envy stood, turning and vanishing from their sight without another word.

"You're wasting your time." Greed said, resuming their walk towards the exit. "If I've –"

It was quick. There came the low _whoosh _as something large displaced the air around it, and Kimblee barely had time to register alarm before Greed had been squarely impaled by a hunk of flying sheet-metal.

He might actually have screamed. It was before Ishbal; his nerves were not the steel they would later become. Sound just didn't seem to want to come out of his mouth, however.

Greed fell to his knees, blood dripping from his mouth and nose. He turned his head to look up at Kimblee.

"The expression on your face right now is hilarious."

Well.

"That…seemed slightly uncalled for." He turned to look back at the alcove, from where Envy had assumedly thrown the makeshift projectile, but the wiry-haired homunculus was nowhere to be seen.

"I know, right?" Greed seized the metal firmly with both hands, yanking it out of himself with a grunt and a wet sucking noise. "Damn it, I liked this shirt. Fucking jealous little bitch."

"Are you alright?" Greed seemed fine, but it just struck Kimblee as rude not to ask.

"It would take more than that." Greed cleared his throat, spitting out a chunk of blood and something decidedly more solid. "Not traumatized now, are you?"

"…It would take more than that."

Greed chuckled. "Well said. Now let's blow this joint before Envy throws something else at me."

"Wouldn't it be advisable to clean up first?"

"I have spare clothes in my car."

.

And what a car it was.

Located in an inconspicuous-looking garage not far from Laboratory Five, it was a masterpiece of a vehicle. Of ambiguously foreign make, it was angular and predatory in shape as Greed himself, spotless and waxed to a cold metallic sheen from sun roof to chrome hubcaps.

Spot-on for someone like Greed, and so, Kimblee reflected, was the mess inside. As with any true mess, it was impossible to innumerate the objects which comprised the chaos, but it included several alcohol bottles of varying fullness, empty containers of food and discarded wrappers, as well as the spare clothes Greed had mentioned – his, and apparently those of several previous female guests. On the passenger's side seat, specifically, there lay a pair of lacy black panties, ripped on one side as though having been torn off.

"You can have 'em if you like them." Greed commented as Kimblee regarded the abandoned undergarments. "Throw all the crap in the back, otherwise."

Kimblee did so, although his attention was diverted by the sight of Greed changing out of his torn, blood-soaked shirt and into a fresh one. He was hardly modest in attire, leaving little to the imagination at all times, and yet the sight of his bare torso was nonetheless…distracting.

Greed caught him staring and winked. Kimblee tore his eyes away. It wouldn't be just Envy in his thoughts tonight, that much was certain.

There was also, he discovered as he cleared his seat, dried blood on the upholstery. The faint smell of rot lingered underneath it all. Kimblee would have bet money the car had been used to transport a corpse not long ago.

"It's missing the vanity plates with your name." He said as Greed slid into the driver's seat and started the engine.

.

The lights were low, and the air was hazy with smoke, lending a dreamlike quality to the place. The smell, however, was something else entirely: smoke and cinders and sweat, years of grit and grime. A record played scratchily in the background, but its music was largely overwhelmed in the din of raucous laughter and periodical outbursts of drunken singing.

The place was packed to bursting, both in the number of patrons and the rowdy energy they exuded. Many people there seemed to know Greed, hailing him in loud, often slurred voices. Several called or motioned for him to join them, including a number of very attractive women, but he waved them off, cutting as straight a line as possible towards the bar.

Overall, it achieved something Kimblee would have before thought impossible: it was so sleazy it was charming. It didn't possess the air of desperate debauchery that had characterized his childhood environment. He got the impression that the people here were present because they chose to be, not because they had to be.

Tending the bar was the most – there was just no other term for it – dykish woman Kimblee had ever seen, and that was saying a lot coming from someone in the military. Were they to arm-wrestle, he would not bet on his chances.

"The usual, Mo." Greed said as he pulled out a stool at the bar.

"It's Monique, ya demon slut." She nonetheless began filling a tankard with whiskey. "And what's on the menu tonight?"

Kimblee realized with flat astonishment that she was referring to him.

"Zolf Kimblee." Greed answered. "The brilliant and soon-to-be-renowned Red Lotus Alchemist."

Monique scowled. "A State Alchemist?"

"He's cool, don't worry."

She made a noncommittal noise. "What'll it be for you then?"

"Um," He glanced at Greed, "I will literally drink whatever you pay for."

"That a promise?" He laughed. "Seriously though, a guy should always have a signature drink. Um…give him a white Drachman."

"It doesn't matter to me," Kimblee said, as Monique put the drink down in front of him, "but people usually react more positively when I say I'm a State Alchemist."

She snorted. "You've been talking to the wrong people, kid. Anyone with two eyes open can see that y'all are just dogs for that hack of a Fürer-President Bradley. And yes, I know you could lock me up for treason, saying that."

"I don't care what you think of him, the man's no friend of mine. I am curious, though, as to why."

She shrugged, beginning to scrub out a tankard. "There's nothing wrong with the guy per se, it's the way that he got into power that I have a problem with. You're young. Just wait; you'll see what I'm talking about. Everyone who's stood against 'im has flat out disappeared off the map, and my bet's that they'll continue to do so. You'll see."

"Our friendly on-staff conspiracy theorist." Greed commented, smirking into his glass.

"Get fucked." She growled. "I know what I'm talking about."

He tried the drink which had been ordered for him. It was very sweet; refined and smooth compared to the bottom-of-the shelf crap he had grown up on. He did not drink frequently, preferring to be the one awake and alert while others lost their inhibitions and motor reflexes. That was the kind of mood Greed put him in; relaxed, willing to relinquish control of the situation.

A few drinks later, Greed was called for by group of unruly automail mechanics, apparently something to do with the results of a bet on a horse race currently being announced on the radio.

"You mind?" Greed asked.

"Go ahead."

With nothing in particular on which to fix his attention, he let gaze wander. There was one particular woman, standing against the far wall, who caught his eye. She was exceptionally beautiful for one thing, although not dressed to flaunt her attributes to the utmost extent. She was watching Greed, as he haggled and tussled with his buddies, very closely. Like a cat staring at a bird through a window – frustrated, hostile, yearning.

In a phrase: like someone who wouldn't mind running Greed through with a blunt object.

His lips curled in a slow smile. Under normal circumstances, he would have left the matter alone, however, liquid courage was flowing through his veins. He stood, walking with that lightness that came before serious inebriation, and made his way over to where she stood, leaning against the wall beside her. He did not look directly at her, but after a moment, he asked,

"Jealous?"

She turned to him in astonishment.

"How the hell did you know that?" The voice was undoubtedly Envy's.

"Masculine intuition."

"Seriously, how?"

"I thought you weren't coming."

"I wasn't, and I'm not. As far as anyone's concerned, I'm not here."

"You should join us. See how long it takes him to guess who you are."

"He would right away. Knows me too well."

"What is it between you, anyway? Whatever your relationship, it doesn't seem exactly 'brotherly'."

"You're bold."

"Drunk."

"It's not something I can explain." Envy sighed. "A piece of advice, from me to you, assuming it's not already too late: don't get too close. You're special now, but soon enough you won't be anything at all."

"Did you 'get too close'?"

"I _said_ it's not that simple."

"See, this is how you're messing up, Invidia. Any _real_ woman wouldn't hesitate to tell me all about it."

"I am a 'real' woman right now. And why do you call me that?"

"It's a synonym for your name."

"I know what it means. I was asking why you call me it."

"Because I can, I suppose." He shrugged. "What's the point of knowing a word, if not to use it?"

"You mentioned to Father that you valued language."

"You were listening?"

"Of course I was listening. And I don't see how you don't hate Amestrians."

"I did, at one point. But I realized a long time ago how futile it was."

"You're awfully amicable, for a murderer."

"I told you, I don't take lives out of rage or hatred. That would belittle me _and_ those I kill."

Envy regarded him with fathomless black eyes.

"What is that look?"

"I've known more humans than you will ever meet. I've known plenty who kill without remorse, but you're different even from them. I don't understand you."

"I'll elaborate if you will."

"No."

"Are you afraid to open up?"

"You think you're gonna goad me into spilling my guts?"

"Apparently not."

"Nice try, but you'll have to be plenty more irritating before you can rival Greed."

"How about this then: you answer my questions, or I tell him that you're here."

He could tell at once that he had struck gold – or maybe a land-mine – with that one. Envy's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed. Her hand shot out, and he became uncomfortably aware of how delicate his trachea was, when his throat was held not-so-gently by her inhumanly strong digits.

"You're very lucky," she said, leaning forward, so close they could almost have been kissing, "that you're useful to us. I'd squash you like a bug, otherwise."

Then his neck was his own again, and she was gone, her footsteps receding quickly into the general clamor of the bar.

He rubbed the place where, come morning, he was certain to have five distinct bruises. He felt mortified, more at his own actions than Envy's. What had possessed him to try and force her hand like that?

He made his way back to his bar stool, feeling in need of more alcohol, and found that Greed had returned.

"Envy in a bad mood?" He asked, glancing sidelong at Kimblee.

"You knew?"

"'Course I knew. I've known Envy for way too long not to. What'd you do to rile it up?"

"Asked the wrong questions, I suppose."

"Yeah, really. And what questions were those?"

"Ones about you."

"Holy crap, you do have gigantic balls."

"I am _here_."

"True. Guess you wouldn't have come this far if you didn't have quite a set of stones. But seriously, our family dynamic is pretty much layer upon layer of crap. You just don't want to go there."

"What if I do?"

"You'll have to ask someone else. Sorry, but I have to live with it. Not gonna make it worse by _talking _about it."

"Think that's how Envy sees it?"

"Oh, who the hell knows?"

"Can you tell me about…him, her, it? Do you mind sharing that much?"

Greed sighed, but it was not ill-natured. "It's not my favorite story to tell, but I can see your little crush won't let you leave it alone."

He took a deep drink of whiskey, licked his lips, and sat in silence for a moment, contemplating.

"You know, I've never actually _told _this to anyone." He said at length. "Not that it's a secret, it's just that everyone either knows or doesn't know Envy. I guess I should start when it was born. Ugliest. Fucking. Thing. Imaginable. Even Father was freaked out, and he was the one it came from."

"I've seen Envy's true form."

"It was worst than that, if you can imagine. As far as I was concerned, the question wasn't do we kill it_,_ but _how _do we kill it? But then it started manipulating its form and…well, it went from there."

Greed took another swig.

"Anyway, that's the core of Envy's personality. Regardless of what you see now, each face it takes, Envy is still ugly on the inside, and it _knows _it. And I'm not saying that to be mean, it's the truth."

"That's very sad."

"You'd be considerably less sympathetic if you'd had to deal with its goddamn sensitive ego for years. You see, the thing is, Envy never got over that. For all that it can look however it wants now; it still behaves as though it's an ugly thing, all bitter and spiteful."

Kimblee remembered the way Envy had looked at Greed, that unnerving mixture of resentment and longing…. There was something of Greed that Envy wanted, or had wanted at one point in time. Maybe it wasn't romantic love, but it seemed something very similar in nature.

_Did you get too close? _

No. Envy had never been able to get close, both out of Greed's rejection and its own wounded vanity. Where Greed was concerned, Envy was like a spurned lover, but less. A spurned un-lover.

And yet…

"But you're still interested in having a threesome with me and Envy?"

"Heh, I was wondering when you'd get to that. The truth is, if Envy weren't such a frigid bitch, I wouldn't find it so annoying. But Envy never will, so I'll never have to. Which is why you should forget about the behemoth and just spend the night with me."

Greed was slick, Kimblee would give him that much. While the space between two people could so often be an incalculable distance, Greed managed to cross it as though it did not exist at all. As though there had never been any space between their two bodies, and never should. Greed's mouth was hot and wet on his neck, sharp teeth grazed his skin and, oh, but that _did _excite him. He shivered involuntarily, and Greed laughed huskily against his neck.

"Envy advised me not to get too close."

"Exactly what a jealous little bug would say."

Greed leaned up, presumably to kiss him, but Kimblee turned away, knowing that if he didn't at this point, he _wouldn't_, ever.

"Sorry. I'm not ready to give up just yet."

Greed pulled away, looking put-out and rather puzzled.

"What do you want, anyway? Even if you succeed, do you think Envy will make you _happy?_"

"Would you?" There was just something funny about it; Greed, who was all about materialism in every form, talking about happiness.

Greed shrugged. "I'd get you off. More than I can say of my _asexual _sibling."

"I'm not saying no. I'm just saying not yet." He stood, donning his hat and turning towards the exit.

"Where are you going?"

"To try and win, of course."

.

(A/N: The bar scene, particularly Greed being called 'demon slut' is _heavily _inspired by gelfling's "Shards". It is an awesome story, you should check it out =). Other things: White Drachman = White Russian, since Drachma is apparently to Russia what Xing is to China. At first I couldn't picture Greed with a car, but then I realized it would be foolish to picture him without one. I did the best I could in making his ride tricked out and yet not anachronistic. I imagine it as whatever the FMA version of a Ferrari would be. Thanks for reading!)


	9. Conversation over a Corpse

Outside, the moon was near-full, bathing the streets in pallid light. There was a dusting of snow, early for that time of year. It was a boon to Kimblee in that it let him follow Envy's footsteps. The snow, the light, and a dark pool of blood welling at the mouth of an alleyway, told him where to go.

The alley was narrow and tall, cut off from the moonlight. It took his eyes a moment to adjust, and in that moment he was not above feeling afraid. Yes, he was more to Envy than the vagrant who lay dead on the ground (had the poor fellow asked Envy for change?) but that might only serve to make him a more appealing target.

"What are you doing here?" Envy's voice did not sound pleased, but neither was it attacking him. Envy's skin was a pale shade in the gloom, darkened in places with spatters of blood.

"Certainly not looking for you."

"Why?"

"I owe you an apology. It wasn't my intention to make you angry."

Envy's form shifted; lengthening, thickening, features broadening, until he was looking not at Envy, but Greed. He held out one hand.

"You should come back to me. I can give you more than _it _can."

"This, after you advised me not to get too close to him?"

"Greed, yes. _Me_ even less."

Perhaps because Envy had been forced to betray the act of being Greed, it shifted again. Body smaller, hair longer, for a second Kimblee thought Envy was reverting back to normal, but he faced instead the form of Lust.

"Do you want someone whose body you can torture endlessly without killing?" Her husky voice inquired. "Or is it just the old, _I want a different partner each night _deal? Are you a sadist, or just a normal man?"

"I'm both, but neither is what I want with you."

"What, then?"

"…You said you didn't understand me. I don't understand you either. I want to."

There was more that he wanted, but he was content to let understanding come first. Anything else could follow in due time.

"No you don't." For the first time, Kimblee could believe that Envy was older than he was. Much older. The face was youthful as ever, but there was something too ancient, too terribly _knowing _in those eyes.

"You're so sure of that? I've never once averted my eyes from terrible things."

"Yes. I'd turn away from myself if I could."

"I can't. I couldn't if I wanted to."

"Whatever you want, you won't find it. Whatever you think you're chasing after in me, it's nothing." The form was changing again, and this time…he found himself looking at _himself_.

"If there's anything that attracts you to me," his own voice said to him, "it's just your own reflection. I'm hollow, we all are. You've seen Gluttony's hunger, Greed's avarice: appetites sufficient to devour the world. It's because we're empty. Father made us as extensions of himself, like an arm or a leg. Soulless shells to carry out his will."

There was a silence heavy as led.

"The idea of a soul is a highly theoretical one." Kimblee didn't know if it would help, he merely spoke the words as they came to him. "Alchemists cannot revive the dead, and this may be because there is nothing to revive. It could be that the sum total of what we are dies with our bodies, unless alchemically grounded to another object. We might be nothing, beyond our physical form."

"Do you believe that?"

"I like to think that there is more to me than this fragile piece of meat."

Envy was wearing a look that was not at all becoming of Kimblee's features: wide-eyed and so horribly vulnerable.

"And, if we're going to assume that I have a soul," he continued, "I don't see why you wouldn't have one as well. If your Father made you from himself, that's no different in principle from how two humans make a child together. And yet we generally believe that babies have souls."

He walked up to Envy, across ground slick with blood, and gently placed one hand on the side of his stolen countenance. "Darling, if you make me watch _myself _tear up I will blow your face off."

"I'm not about to cry, idiot." Envy muttered, but it shifted back into its normal form nonetheless. Kimblee was surprised at just how much of a relief it was. Maybe that was why he reached out and pulled Envy into his arms.

Envy stiffened in shock. Normally, it would have been the last thing it wanted or tolerated, and yet…its arms found their way around Kimblee of their own accord. It was the aftereffect of his punishment, damn it, that horrid yearning to be touched. And Kimblee was very warm, whereas Envy was not a degree warmer than the chilly night air.

.

From the shadows, Pride watched and was not happy. It could expect no better from Greed and Lust, but Envy? Envy was nothing, but still better than _this, _simply in the fact that it called Pride 'brother'.

.

"Don't you feel how cold I am?" Envy said. "Like holding a statue. How could you want that?"

"I've been called a strange human." It was bliss, actually, to finally know what Envy felt like, to be allowed to get this close.

"Are you a necrophiliac?"

"Show me an attractive cadaver and I'd consider it."

"_Seriously_."

"Seriously?"

He took a step back, just as a precaution, to get out of Envy's direct reach. Maybe he was paranoid, but then again, he never would do what he was about to if were he entirely sober. Envy's arms felt disconcertingly empty without him.

"Greed briefly described the circumstances of your birth."

From the look on Envy's face, Kimblee was ready to start blasting away vicious onslaughts. Yet Envy merely asked, in a low, stiff voice,

"What about it?"

"It reminds me of mine."

"_How?_" Envy snapped, eyes flashing. "You're not hideously malformed!"

"My conception was the consequence of rape." It was strange to say it out loud. It had always gone unspoken, first due to his family's shame, and then to his own resolve never to be looked down on for any reason.

"My family didn't come to this country legally. They never spoke the language well or had the protection of the law. My father, whoever he was, must have known that." He smiled, bitterly. "Had I been born a girl, I would have been drowned at birth like a little of mutt-puppies. Luckily for me, Xingians value sons, and my grandparents never had one of their own so they gave me a chance."

"Your surname…" Envy began.

"I can't give myself an Amestrian face, but names can be changed."

Envy just stared at him for a long time. How strange to think that the person standing before it might never have been. And on account of such a trivial thing, to the shapeshifter's mind, as gender or race. And Envy found itself glad, absurdly glad, that by sheer luck Kimblee had lived long enough to come this far. And simultaneously enraged that it might so easily have not been the case.

"And you don't hate them?" It managed at last. "The ones who would have killed you as soon as look at you? How?"

"I did." He didn't like to admit that, to remember a time when such petty resentment had ruled him, and yet giving voice to it was strangely cathartic. "For years I hated them, and loved them too. I had to kill both things, or let them kill me."

"I could have _never_ forgiven that."

"Is it something to be angry about? It made me who I am. Although some people would say that's the worst part."

"Fuck 'some people'. Fuck all people, for that matter. My opinion matters more than all of theirs put together, and I say that you're the only human who deserves the pride your kind takes in itself."

He was rendered speechless for a moment. How was it that Envy of all people had just spoke the kindest words ever said to him? Whatever he had expected or hoped for from the homunculus, it had not been that. He had never felt the need to hear such sentiment expressed. It surprised him, how much those words suddenly mattered.

"I've always thought myself immune to that pride." He said quietly.

"Bullshit. If you're not a worthwhile human, there is no such thing."

One amazement after another. It was something else he and Envy had in common, he realized: they were both valuable only to the extent that they were useful. His worth had always been rather finite: a dutiful son to his grandparents, a loyal soldier to Amestris, an unabashed turncoat and pawn to 'Father', along with myriad less significant roles he had played as the need arose. There had never been anyone who saw him as more than the function which he served. And that was alright. Hell, until that moment he would have said it was _preferable_. But how was it that Envy treated him more like a human than any human ever had?

"For what my opinion is worth, I think pretty well of you, too." It was a bit of an understatement. "And I just wanted you to know that I know what its like – to be unwanted. To be viewed as an aberration."

"There's nothing wrong with you."

"There's nothing wrong with _you _either."

"You really think that?" Envy couldn't quite believe it. Not after Kimblee had seen it transform, seen all its ugliness.

"I do."

Envy smiled. "Crazy bastard."

Something he had been called often enough, and yet there was a bizarre note of affection in the way Envy said it.

"Coming from you, I'll it as a complement."

Envy took a step closer, reaching out as though to touch him again.

"You're shivering."

"It's nothing."

Envy had almost forgotten that Kimblee was human, still a fragile creature for all the power he possessed. It was the sort of thing that Envy would have – _should_ have – found irritating, repulsive even. And yet Envy was the one who felt lacking, for it had no heat of its own to share. And Greed could have, Greed was always so much warmer –

"You should go back inside." Envy said, dropping its hand and stepping back.

"You should come with me."

"I can't. I've got things to do."

"And siblings to avoid?"

Envy winced. "And you claim not to understand me."

"Come back in with me." He moved closer, advancing the distance Envy had retreated. "Show him _he_ doesn't understand you as well as he thinks he does."

Envy had all but given up on that, on being anything beyond than what Greed said it was - ugly, bitter, petty. Back in the bar, it would still be Greed, as always, and Envy was no different either. The only thing that had changed was this human, who said Envy wasn't ugly, but for all Envy knew he could be lying, and Greed never lied.

_But he's out here, with me. Envy. Not Greed. But he can't stay out here, and if I go in..._

Envy hesitated.


	10. Lives To Spare and Drinks To Go Around

(A/N: I had too much fun writing this one.)

.

A slight hush fell over the crowd when Envy and Kimblee returned, and a number of heads swiveled in their direction. It didn't help that Envy, who's appearance was unusual at the best of times, was still spattered here and there with blood. It seemed unnerved by the attention of the pub-goers, glaring around as though daring any of them to do something stupid.

There was a flicker of surprise in Greed's eyes when he saw them, but he played it off with casual ease.

"Well well, looks who's back." He grinned, making remarkable display of his teeth. "How was your 'alone time'?"

"Cold and filled with dead hobos." Envy responded flatly, sliding into a bar stool on Greed's right. "Thanks for asking."

"Always knew you were the kinky type, behemoth."

"That nickname is getting old, asshole. Shame you're name's not Originality."

"Not a sin. Shame your name isn't 'remotely attractive'."

"Also not a sin, fuck-face."

"My favorite thing about the two of you?" Kimblee said, taking a seat beside Envy. "Your maturity." He glanced at Envy. "Um, can I offer you a drink?"

"Don't waste your time." Greed said with a snort. "You've seen Envy's true form. To get Envy drunk, it would have to consume enough alcohol to get the monster drunk too."

"Really?" He looked back to Envy.

"We assume so." Envy said, shrugging. "All I know is I drank Greed under the table once, and no one does that – Gluttony doesn't count – so there has to be something weird to do with my body and blood-alcohol levels." Envy grinned. "Such a happy night – do you even remember? Sloth had to drag you home by the hair."

"That was entirely unnecessary, by the way." Greed said, frowning. "He could have at least dragged me by the leg or something."

"I'd've thought you'd be bothered more by what we drew on your face." Envy said.

"Yeah. You're a shitty artist." Greed responded.

"You're a shitty canvas."

"Only an amateur blames their failure on their tools."

"I blame you and you're a tool. If that makes me an amateur then so be it."

Monique chose that moment to nudge Kimblee's arm.

"Who is that?" She inquired quietly, as Greed and Envy continued to bicker.

"Greed's sibling."

"Brother or sister?"

Kimblee hesitated. "…Yes?"

Monique rolled here eyes. "Fucking demon slut. Kick 'im the hell out if he didn't bring in so much cash. Speaking of, 'nother White Drachmann for ya?"

"_Yes._" With Envy and Greed carrying on the way they were, he suspected he would need it.

"You should take on _her_ shape, leviathan." Greed was saying, tilting his head in the direction of a particularly attractive woman at the far end of the pub. "I'd make you scream all night."

Envy wanted to scream as it was. However, it merely gave Greed a coolly amused look.

"If was going to be your whore, Greed, you'd have to pay me."

"Maybe I would pay you."

"You'd have to pay pretty well."

"Name your price, leviathan."

_You, not calling me that anymore? _

"Your balls, severed and wrapped in Christmas gift paper."

Greed laughed heartily.

That was one thing about Greed, Envy reflected, he was not afraid to laugh at a joke that's at his expense. And then, somehow, since he was laughing, it wasn't at his expense at all.

Envy hated him so much.

_Maybe I should try laughing every time he makes an allusion to my true form. _

No, the act would be pathetically obvious. So much more satisfying just to attack him.

_Greed is Greed, I am Envy; I can't change that. _

Although…

"I'd change into _you _for no charge at all." Envy said sweetly. "You love yourself so much; you'd enjoy it more than that bitch over there. And then you actually _could _go fuck yourself."

Greed laughed again, louder this time. Some people have belly-laughs, Greed had body-laughs. Envy wondered how many people Greed won over, just with that laugh alone.

Meanwhile, Kimblee was beginning to feel rather left out. He wondered if Greed and Envy weren't actually soul-mates, underneath their mutual loathing.

"Well then, seeing as you won't oblige me." Greed stood up, stretching. "I'll have to try for the real thing. Don't wait up." Over Envy's head, he gave Kimblee a sly look that said, _here, it's all yours. _

"That's rude!" Envy exclaimed as Greed made his way towards his night's target. "Weren't _you _his date?"

"Not really…"

Envy gave him an incredulous look. "So have you two already done it, or what?"

"No."

"Don't you…like him?" It was a stupid question. _Everyone _liked him.

"I like you better. I thought we've been over this."

Envy arched a brow. "Are you hitting on me?"

Kimblee smiled. "Was it not obvious?"

Envy didn't know what it make of that. Normally it would have been enraged. The impudence of a _human_, trying something like that! The fact still remained, however, Kimblee was choosing Envy over _Greed_, which meant than they were ice-skating in hell right about now. And it wasn't just any human, it was this human, the one Envy found so unusually worthy of life.

Envy wasn't about to screw him though. Still…Envy wanted Kimblee there, rather than off with Greed or some random human. Envy wanted him to stay. The only answer Envy could think of? Get him really drunk. Envy did recall, from the overheard conversation earlier that day, that Greed was picking up the tab, so Envy didn't even matter that Envy had no money.

"You should finish your drink." Envy said.

"You should order one too. I don't want to be the only one drinking."

"I can't get drunk."

"So order something for the taste."

"One bitch-beer comin' up." Monique said. If Greed was paying for drinks, she would be as accommodating as you please in serving them up.

Envy's frowned at the 'bitch-beer' comment, but it refrained from doing anything violent. It knew that these humans fell into the 'things belonging to Greed' category, and that there would be unpleasant consequences if Envy did anything to Greed's stuff. Not that Envy was afraid of that; it just didn't feel like a fight right now.

Monique set Envy's drink down in front of it. Envy lifted it.

"A toast?"

"To Greed's infinite tab."

Envy snorted. "Cheers."

They clicked their glasses together, and Envy downed its drink in few gulps. It tasted fruity, whatever it was, hardly a note of alcohol to it. Kimblee did the same, because it was a little more than his pride could tolerate not to.

"So, I've been meaning to ask," he said, setting the empty glass aside, "how should I refer to you?"

"...By my name?"

"I mean in terms of pronouns. Your brother calls you 'it', your sister, 'he'."

"Either one is fine by me. Greed is technically correct, but Lust is more polite. She spends too much time with humans, I think. Starts to think of things like gender and sex in the way you guys do, as a privilege rather than a neutral and inconsequential fluke of biology."

"A system of power, from which one is excluded if they don't meet certain standards of either femininity or masculinity?"

"Something like that, yeah." Envy frowned. "I wouldn't have expected to hear you put it that way."

"Why not?"

"Because…you're human. You're a part of it."

"I wouldn't have expected you to know what I'm even talking about. Because you're _not _human, and not a part of it."

"I couldn't not be a part of it if I tried. Humans are everywhere; everything about you people is in my face all the damn time. Besides," Envy lowered its voice slightly, "I'm father's ideal spy, remember? I have to know how to be human better than most humans."

"You should give me a few tips." He was only half joking.

"I have an advantage on you there." As if to illustrate the point, Envy's eyes shifted to blue, then to amber, a change that only Kimblee was close enough to notice. "It's so much easier to get close to someone, when you look like they do."

"Is that what you did with me?"

"If you didn't notice, I wasn't trying get close to you." Envy's eyes shifted back to their regular dark hue. "Only close enough to kill."

It was...reassuring, that the form Envy wore around him was not designed to manipulate.

"Not all humans are stupid, you know." He found himself saying. "Most are, but not all."

"Stupidity is only part of it; humans are just too arrogant for my taste."

"Hm. Shouldn't we be? With the exception of your kind, which most aren't aware of, we dominate the world."

Envy was silent for a moment.

"Okay, you do have a point, but here's the difference: I don't pretend that my superiority is more than what it is. Humans act like the world was made for them, like they're on a pedestal meant to look down on every other creature simply because they are what they are. Me, I know I'm superior because in a fight with any human, I would win. No more and no less."

"I seem to recall one particular human that gave you a bit of trouble."

"I was testing you, remember? The premise of a test is that there is a way to pass. If I had earnestly been trying to kill Cramer, or you, neither of you would have even seen it coming."

He was not quite too inebriated to wonder why it turned him on, when Envy talked about trying to kill him. He wasn't suicidal, not even masochistic. Then again, hate and love were so close in terms of intensity that they were more akin to each other than any other emotion. Perhaps murder and sex shared a similar link, both intimate. Similar opposites.

"Here." Envy said, correctly reading the mood and pushing Kimblee's glass, once again refilled, towards him. "Drink more."

"I think I've had enough."

"No you haven't. Here."

Kimblee did as he was told, more to placate Envy than anything.

"Why are you trying to get me shit-faced?"

"I'm just trying to waste Greed's money."

"Well then, why not treat all Monique's fine patrons to a round on him?"

Envy snickered. "Alright then." It stood up on its bar stool and shouted, "Hey everyone! Drinks are on Greed! And if he gives you shit about it, tell him Envy said so!"

Calamity ensued as everyone cheered and/or rushed up to the bar to make good on the deal.

"You'd better be right about this, demon punk." Monique said, fixing Envy with a piercing glance.

"Oh, Greed can afford it." Envy said lazily, sitting back down. "He might kill me a few times, but I've got lives to spare."

Monique looked away, attending to the orders coming in from all sides. As much money as she made of these weird creatures, she'd be damned if they weren't creepy as hell.

.

About an hour later, Greed was not happy with what he discovered upon returning.

"Envy! What the hell is this about drinks on me!"

"Aw, what's the matter?" Envy said, grinning crookedly. "Can't Greed show a little _charity?_"

Greed shrugged off his shirt, throwing it at the nearest person without bothering to see who it was.

"Hold this."

He didn't need to lose _another _shirt to Envy that night, after all. He stepped forward, holding up one hand that was suddenly metallic and clawed.

"I'll show you charity when I rape your ugly mutant ass! I'll still be the only one willing to touch you."

"Bring it! I'll use your dick as a pencil!"

Most people cheered as Greed and Envy leapt at each other, while a few very wise souls ran for their lives. Many there were familiar with Greed, and though they did not know what he was, they knew he was _something_, something strange. Something dangerous. And, it stood to reason, for anyone that had been paying attention, that Envy was the same kind of strange and dangerous. Any fight between them would be spectacular, if arguably lethal for bystanders.

Greed swiped at Envy, Envy dodged aside, and with flexibility that would put a ballet dancer to shame, roundhouse-kicked Greed's head into the floor, cracking the floorboards to splinters. Monique could be heard in the background cursing both of them.

Not to be deterred by having his face smashed in like a watermelon, Greed's arm shot up, connecting with Envy's lower back and, from the sound of it, shattering its spine. At the same time, he grabbed Envy's other leg and bit into its inner thigh like a piece fried chicken, disregarding his front teeth, which were still regenerating from their abrupt meeting with the ground.

Envy shrieked, and the audience clapped and laughed. Taking advantage of the fact that Greed's head was now incidentally between its legs, Envy brought its legs together around Greed's neck, and with a sharp twist of its hips snapped it with a sickening _crack_. With the moment's lull, Envy pushed off of Greed, back-flipping away and putting several yards between them, landing in a crouch and growling.

Greed was already advancing on Envy again with a smile on his face, when the sound of a gun ripped through the air.

Monique, unheeded by the onlookers, had pulled a sawed-off shotgun from under the bar and, customer or not, blown a gaping hole in Envy's midsection. Envy was a slightly more difficult target than Greed, being so small and skinny, but Greed was a valuable regular, and Monique was a good shot.

"YOU BITCH!" Envy roared and, unhindered by the hole in itself, charged at Monique.

Greed took advantage of Envy's distraction, coming from behind and seizing Envy in a headlock. Given Envy's troublesome ability to turn its limbs into knives, snakes, and other such painful apparatuses, Greed went one step farther and, with a jerk of one arm, popped Envy's head off like a cork. With the form to rival a pro football player, Greed turned and threw Envy's head through a window before it had time to regenerate.

The noise from the onlookers was deafening, although it quickly turned to gasps and silent astonishment as Envy's body dissolved into dust.

"Wait for it…" Greed said into the shocked silence.

The pub's door was not pushed or even thrown open, rather, it was kicked so hard it feel clean off its hinges. Envy strowed through the now unobstructed doorway, casual as could be.

"That was a cheap trick."

Some people screamed, some shouted, one man actually fainted.

"You're a state alchemist." Monique said to Kimblee, who had been enjoying the show as much as anyone. "Why not assist a citizen and keep them from trashing my place."

"Now you like state alchemists." Kimblee muttered. He got to his feet – or tried to, at least, but ended up on the floor.

"Oh...god…dammit…" This was exactly the reason he (usually) didn't drink.

"You're a pretty useless alchemist."

"As the one who poured me all those, can you really blame me?"

Monique snorted. "Lightweight."

He attempted to stand again, carefully, and with more success this time.

"Both of you, calm down!" Thankfully, his voice held steady. With slightly uneven steps and highly impaired judgment, he placed himself between the two monsters as they sized each other up, waiting to attack or be attacked.

"Need I remind you what happened," he said to Envy, "last time you got in a fight in public?"

Envy scowled, crossing its arms. "Don't look at me. He started it."

Kimblee turned to Greed. "You just ripped Envy's head off. Is that not suitable recompense for money spent?"

"You clearly value this thing's life more than I do, Lotus Flower." He shrugged. "But since you asked me nicely, I'll save the rest for later." He held out a hand. "Someone bring me my shirt!"

"Thank you." Kimblee said. He turned to sit down again – a bit too fast, and found himself on the floor again.

"Fucking hell..."

"Aw shit," Envy said. "We broke the human."


	11. Sinful Truth for Lovely Lies

(A/N: The characters have had their fun. Be prepared for angst!)

.

He awoke with a splitting headache, in a room he did not recognize, with no recollection of how he'd gotten there or why. This was happening on a disturbingly regular basis since he'd met Envy.

Bits and pieces of the night before filtered back to him, although the narrative grew rather choppy around the time Envy had apparently decided it had a vendetta against his liver, and then there were fragments of the fight between Envy and Greed, and…?

Wherever he was, the building was old, full of creaking and groaning floorboards. He heard footsteps in the hall outside, as footsteps only can be heard when the structure seems to squeak and mutter with every movement, and the door was opened by Greed.

"Ah, so he's alive." The sin said when he saw Kimblee sitting up. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. In his hand there was an opaque glass, which he held out to Kimblee.

"Here. Drink."

"Isn't that what got me into this situation?" He took a sip and grimaced. "What is this?"

"Hell if I know." Greed said, taking a seat on the bed. "I just asked Mo for her best hangover remedy."

"Where are we?"

"The inn above the bar. You were in less-than-optimal condition to direct me to where you live, and for that matter I wasn't great to be driving you there."

"Did anything happen?"

"As a rule of thumb: if they can't remember their address, they're not in a state to give consent."

"That's…bizarrely honorable of you."

"Coercion's not my style. My name is Greed, not date-rape."

"Thank you. For the room and…remedy, as well."

"No problem. The latter is on Mo with her complements; her thanks for stopping Envy and me destroying her place."

"Would've stepped in soon if I'd been thinking clearly. Are you and Envy in trouble?"

"Envy's gonna be in trouble when I get my hands on the little worm." Greed said, scowling. "But this is nowhere near as bad as when Envy transformed with you. That was fully public, verifiable by an infinite number of bystanders. Most of Mo's patrons have a less-than-friendly relationship with state authority so they might not even report it. And if any of them do its still just hearsay about a wild, drunken bar fight."

"A questionable story from a questionable source."

"Right." He made some expression that was half grin, half grimace. "At least, that's the argument I'm going to make to Father."

"I see. Good luck with that."

"Yeah...speaking of luck, what happened when you followed Envy outside? I expected someone to find your mangled corpse in a dumpster the next day."

"A kind vagrant took that bullet for me. Actually, it went better than I would have hoped."

"Oh?"

"Envy let me hug…'it'…?"

"Close enough. Go on."

"And then said that…that I was the only human who deserved the pride my kind takes in itself." He smiled. "So I assume that means Envy likes me."

Greed just stared at him. "Envy _said _that? Are you sure?"

"I'm not known to hallucinate. Although maybe I shouldn't have repeated it…"

"I won't tell. Hell, no one would believe me if I did."

"It was in response to me disclosing something rather self-deprecating. Probably trying to cheer me up."

"The Envy I know would've just laughed in your face."

"I think you two need to work on your communication skills."

"You gonna be our family counselor?"

"Sure." _Zolf Kimblee: monster therapist_. He should have cards made.

"You might bite off more than you can chew with all this, you know. If by some stroke of really random luck you do end up together, you'd face a slow and painful death if you ever strayed."

"Envy can be both male and female. What would I need to look for in another person?"

"That's still assuming Envy would be either."

"Are you trying to talk me out of it?"

"Just making sure you know what you're getting into. Maybe wishing I'd taken advantage last night while I had the chance. I was just joking around when we bet. Envy would never share you with me."

"Maybe I would share Envy with you."

"They'd be snow-shoeing in hell the day that happened."

.

Envy was guarding the tunnels. It was dull work, though necessary. The entrances to the underground were supposedly secure, but locks and gates could always be broken. If anyone were to find their way in, they'd have enough trouble simply finding their way out again. However, if got in, if they did keep their bearings and find their way, they might see something they shouldn't. And if they were that lucky, they might just get out wit their lives, too. They might get out and tell others, and that was where the problem came in: not in what a human could do, but what _humanity _could do.

It didn't make sense for them to patrol in pairs. Even if something were to happen, they did not need backup, and the area they had to cover was so large for their small number it wasn't logistically advantageous to go in groups. It wasn't explicitly against the rules, though, and so Envy sought out Lust in the winding tunnels.

She was the only one with whom Envy could say it felt any attachment, when asked. It was easy to forget that, with the life they lived. Taking stock, however, Envy was feeling…friendly.

"Hey Lust." It said as it approached her from the shadows. Always best to give Lust plenty of warning on approach, unless one wanted to become a humanoid shish kabob.

"Message from Father?" She asked, turning to face Envy.

"No."

"What do you want, then?"

"Nothing."

She arched a brow.

"_What?_ I was bored. Even I want company from time to time."

"Greed's been looking for you."

"I'll bet."

"What did you do this time?"

"I only bought a few people drinks on his tab. Dunno why he's getting bent out of shape."

"Because he's Greed, and because it was more than 'a few' people, to hear him tell it."

"You always take his side." Envy said, glowering.

"He always says the same thing."

"He's wrong."

She sighed, but did not respond, and continued walking in the direction she had been going. Envy trailed after her. After moments passed in silence, Envy ventured,

"So…Kimblee said we have souls."

That conversation had been on its mind a lot recently.

"Really." Her voice was dry. "He's just a fountain of sagely insight, isn't he?"

Envy tilted its head. "What's up your ass?"

She came to a halt, and she might as well have run Envy through with her ultimate spear, for the look she gave it.

"Let's take stock, shall we? This human has no family connections, no friends, no personal attachments of any kind and, oh yes, he's stabbing every single one of his kind in the back for the sake of personal gratification. Sounds like a trustworthy individual."

"I – he's not doing anything I'm not doing – anything _you're _not doing. Who are you to judge?"

"You and I are not human. We're killers but we're not traitors."

"What about Greed?"

Her eyes narrowed. "What _about_ him?"

"When he betrays us! What else?"

"_If_ he does, I won't trust him any more than I trust Kimblee now."

"You know Greed will. And _Father_ trusts Kimblee."

"Father trusts him to work for us. You're trusting him with something else entirely."

"If you're implying –"

"You don't have to have sex with someone to make yourself vulnerable to them."

"W-who says I'm vulnerable anyway?"

"You're talking to him about having a _soul? _You've never even talked to me about that."

"Well…do you think we have souls then?"

"No. No one with half a brain would believe we do. This human is manipulating you."

"By saying he thinks I have a soul? What would he possibly gain from that?"

"I don't give a damn what his motives are. And it won't matter to you either, when you give him an opening and he uses it to rip you open and gut you."

"Giving him an 'opening'. You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?"

It was a low blow.

"Excuse me for caring, then. I'll not bother in future." Her voice was cold as ice. "One last thing. Did you know that Kimblee and Greed have a bet concerning you?"

Envy stared, uncomprehending. "…What now?"

"You heard me. Kimblee seems to think he can get you in bed. Greed thinks otherwise. He told me this himself, and you know he doesn't lie. How Zolf Kimblee behaves towards you is him trying to win a bet, nothing more. Thought you ought to know."

In reality, she had not intended to tell Envy that part. The idea had been to warn him of the risk while shielding him from the pain. Never let it be said that her temper couldn't be as bad as any of her siblings.

To look at Envy's face, one might not have guessed it was very surprised or upset, still in that phase where reactions are catching up to new information. She knew her sibling too well, though, not to read the subtleties. If nothing else, Envy had gone quiet, and it took a lot to shut the wiry-haired homunculus up.

Lust gave a short, bitter laugh. "And you thought you wouldn't get hurt. Be glad it only hurt _this _much."

Envy turned and, without another word, vanished into the darkness of the underground. Lust did not follow. She knew better than to be around Envy, at a time like this. Among their kind, there was no consoling. When they were upset, it was kill or be killed.

.

The first thing Envy felt was humiliation when the emotions finally caught up to the situation. It was familiar. Reflexive. What a fool it had been. They were probably all laughing behind its back. Lust was the only one who cared enough to let Envy in on the joke at its expense. She was probably laughing just as much as any of them, though. To say that Envy's relationship with her was better than any of the others was faint praise at best.

Then there was the confusion.

_Why? _

Literally, why would Kimblee do this? What was his motive? He had said that he…that he _liked _Envy, but obviously that was one big fucking lie. Now Envy thought about it, choosing it over Greed had probably been a lie as well.

_He's smart enough to know I'd never want Greed's sloppy seconds. _

Envy was an idiot for believing it, even for a second –someone picking it, over Greed? Envy had been an idiot this whole time.

Envy felt the void within itself shudder, stirring.

_So he didn't choose me over Greed. Big surprise there. But if he had Greed, why bother with me at all? _

Male humans didn't have to have a reason for desiring something, Envy reminded itself. They could be happy with one person and want countless others. They were similar to Greed in that way: it was about the conquest more than whomever they conquered.

Envy frowned. Maybe that was Greed's angle. Maybe he was the one behind this whole thing.

_If he could seduce someone who could seduce me, that would be an indirect conquest of sorts. At least, _I'd _sure as hell feel used by both of them, if it had come to that. And it saves Greed the trouble of touching me himself_.

If you own someone, after all, it follows that you own all that they own by extension. Convoluted, yes, but Greed could be as complicated as any of them, for all that he came off as a creature of simple drives and desires.

In that moment, Envy was honestly angrier at itself than Greed.

_How did I not see this? It's so fucking obvious! _

A coil of melancholy doubt drifted across Envy's thoughts.

_What about all he said to me? That we were similar, both unwanted and scorned from the beginning. Was that all a lie? _

Envy wasn't used to being the one manipulated. It actually felt a hint of bitter, perverse admiration.

_He played me pretty damn well_.

So well it hurt. It had been such a sweet lie.

The only shred of consolation in all of this was that Kimblee, and by extension Greed, would never win. No matter the human's motivation, Envy was never going to have sex with him. They would lose this bet whether or not Envy was wise to it.

Just because they'd lost, though, did not leave Envy feeling as though it had won, because Kimblee had in fact had Envy fooled. That wasn't about to make Envy assume a gender and sexuality, but for a moment there Kimblee had made Envy feel as though…

_As though I have a soul. _

Envy smiled, tasting tears on its lips. Lust was right, only a fool would believe that.

There was no word for how Envy felt. It was more than sadness, more than anger, more than any emotion to be named in Amestrin, Xingian, Drachmanish or Xerses. It was triggered by jealousy, yet it went beyond that. It was the void, the crushing emptiness at its core, to which jealousy was merely a gateway. And tonight, it was eating Envy alive.

It barely registered the sound of its own sobs as they echoed through the cavernous passageway.

Envy's thoughts were a jumble of confusion and conflicting reactions. Even now, that human was all Envy could think about. It hated him, it wanted to be with him – wanted to _kill _him – to talk to him – wanted him to make the hollow feeling go away.

It is the nature of all creatures to seek out comfort, homunculi were no exception. The more pain they were in, the stronger this urge became. And if that comfort was based in a delusion, then that delusion became preferable to reality.

_Tell me that I have a soul…that I'm not ugly. Tell me…tell me you like me. Even if it's a lie…_

The emotion stirred something within Envy; a faint, distant memory long neglected.

…It had been long enough since Envy had realized all Father wanted was a pawn. This realization had been helped along by Greed, who never pulled any punches when it came to the disillusioning truths of life.

_Who says truth is a virtue, anyway?_ _Sometimes lies are so much better…_

Yet even after Envy had come to terms with what Father truly felt for it – nothing much at all – there was still that yearning to be close to him, like feeling the pain of a phantom limb. A phantom love, long dead, and yet Envy still felt the twinge of it. Even if the proximity was painful, Envy was drawn to Father like a moth to a flame. They all were. The symbolism was especially apt in Envy's case, being, at its core, something of an insectoid.

And now, now Envy felt the same damnable, illogical attraction to that human…how strange, that Kimblee would bring all this to the surface. How long had it been, since Envy had reminisced about its family's past? Not long enough, that was to be sure.

Even now, if Father were to care at all…if Envy could take shelter in his light…the human would not matter. Maybe even Greed would not. Father shone like the sun in Envy's mind, glowing, golden, radiant. Envy was nothing, _nothing _of him, and how could be so cruel, to make his children so far from himself?

Even a few hours ago, Envy would have crawled out of the ground like the bug it was, would have gone to that human, and the human would have given Envy hot tea and maybe food, would have let Envy lay underneath his window where it could see the sky. Envy wouldn't have talked to Kimblee about Father, but they might have talked about other things, things to make it forget or at least be distracted a while…

Envy was more than underground now, it was in the void, and there was no getting out no matter where it went or who it talked to. It was lost in its own yawning, soulless emptiness. No one to save it, not now, not ever.

There was a breath, a whisper, in the shadows, and Envy felt the hairs on the back of its neck stand on end. The one thing that could have made this situation worse…

"_Envy." _Pride's small voice, faint as a breeze, whispered in the dark.

Envy shivered. "Please go away."

Envy was almost as polite to Pride as it was to Father. However, while its mannerisms towards its parent were born of a mixture of fear, loyalty, and a self-serving agenda, Envy's motives with Pride were outright fear. Father could be benevolent if he chose; rare, but he had his moments of kindness.

If Pride had ever had a kind moment, it was before Envy was around to witness.

"Did the human hurt Envy's feelings?" Mockingly sympathetic.

"Leave me alone!"

A tendril of darkness pierced Envy's brainstem. Pride always had annoyingly accurate aim. Not like fighting with Greed, where they just pummeled the hell out of each other.

"Why do humans put so much misguided effort into that fallacy called 'love'?" Pride asked, when Envy's body had recovered enough to hear and see once more.

"Who the hell said I was in love with –"

"ANSWER ME."

Sharp pinpricks were touching Envy everywhere, just hard enough to open drops of red where the thorns of darkness intersected with Envy's corpse-white skin. Pride's spikes did not promise death, just infinite amounts of pain if Envy said the wrong thing. Or moved. Or breathed too deeply.

"Because they are weak." Envy recited, forcing itself to be absolutely still. This was the first lesson its elder brother had taught it. "They must band together and form ties characterized by their concepts of love and sentimentality, in order to survive."

"Very good." The spines withdrew. "And do not mistake me, those mechanisms are not…without their uses. Humans need such things to survive. Are you a _human_, Envy?"

"No!"

"I think you _must _be human. Only humans seek out attachment to other humans."

"I didn't seek him out." Envy growled. "Greed was only using him to –"

"Do not blame Greed! You're as bad as Greed, if you fell for that, which it seems you did. The two of you, fighting so incessantly. It's because you both cling to elements of inferior life-forms."

"I'm not like Greed." Envy managed a strained smile. "If I was, I would have banged Kimblee seven ways to Sunday by now."

Pride laughed, as Envy had been rather hoping he would. Pride _did _have something of a sense of humor, and every once in a while that could get you out of a very bad situation.

"True. You're better in that regard than Greed and Lust. Yet to say that you're better than they are, is not to say much. You need to let go of these follies, if you want to rise to your full potential. You do not need love, you do not need protection, you do not need trust. These things, which humans need, will only weaken you."

"I need to trust Father, though – trust that he'll give us what he promises."

"You do not 'need' to trust him. You need to do what he says, because death is the only alternative. You may choose to believe in what he promises as a source of motivation, a thing to focus on, but you need only _trust _that he will kill you if you stray."

A tendril of darkness reached out, brushing a tear off Envy's face.

"Stop these shameful things. I'll cut your eyes out."

Envy bit its lip. "Yes, Pride."

"Good." The eyes closed, one by one, until only two remained, placed in relation to each other as though Envy was speaking to a creature who's face was merely concealed by the darkness, rather than darkness itself, with its real body located somewhere miles away.

"Think about happy things. Think of the revenge you'll get on both of them. Think of torturing the human's weak body to death. He's sturdy, as his kind goes. It could take days. Weeks, if you have that long."

"I…I doubt Father would be pleased with me."

"Father need not know. I would not tell. Every day, the other humans in Lab Five mutter about killing him, whisper about how he is a monster in man's clothing. You could blame the death, the mutilation, on one of them."

Somewhere deep within itself, Envy was surprised. It realized it did not want to torture Kimblee to death. How simple it would be, if the solution was that easy, but it wasn't. How strange. And how unfortunate for Envy, if Pride were to realize that.

"Pride…this is where that trust thing comes in. For all I know, you're baiting me, testing my loyalty to Father."

"You've been comparing notes with Greed."

"I've listened to a number of his drunken rants, if that's what you mean."

Greed had faced a number of such challenges, failing as many as needed to learn not to trust a word of what Pride said. Perhaps, Envy mused, that was the reason Greed hated lies so fiercely. Maybe he, like Envy, had once had some feeling for his older brother.

"You can get revenge on Greed, at least."

"I can." Envy agreed. "Although he's after revenge himself at the moment."

Pride made a derisive sound, unfitting for a child's voice. "Greed is easy. His folly makes him vulnerable." He giggled, which was fitting and yet just as creepy. "I can tell you where each of his cars are hidden."

Envy gave a surprised laugh. "I've never known you to involve yourself in our fights."

"Just setting you on the right path. There are rewards for good behavior, and punishments for bad. Always remember that."

Envy shivered again.

"Yes."

.

(A/N: Oh Envy, your family cares about you just enough to ruin your life. For the people who may object to sad!Envy, I do agree that this isn't cannon. However, in the series we only see Envy a a villain; I need to extrapolate on its character somewhat if I'm going to portray Envy as a protagonist. My logic is that Envy's emotions are very extreme in intensity, be they anger, sorrow, glee, etc. I think we can all agree that Envy is not stoic. Thanks for reading!)


	12. Getting Nailed

Pride gave Envy the location of four cars. This was initially a surprise to Envy, who had expected Greed to have more. What they lacked in number, however, the vehicles more than made up for in quality.

Cars were nothing to Envy, who used them only rarely and did not depend on them. However, Envy understood what cars meant to humans, and it could tell that these were the type a man might cream himself over. Which, considering Greed's weird link between sex and ownership…Envy slapped itself upside the head. Bad thoughts, bad.

They were carefully hidden; this was hardly the first time Envy had used Greed's material possessions against him, merely the first time it had had Pride's assistance in doing so.

Envy simply smashed the first car to pieces with its full monstrous weight, and drove the second one into oncoming traffic, relishing the casualties as well as the damage to Greed's stuff.

When it came to the third and fourth, however, Envy had a hard time thinking of something both different and equally destructive. It frowned, watching from a safe distance as the soldiers cleared away the remains of the wrecked second car. Envy had crawled out of its own body-bag a few moments before, giving one paramedic quite a fright.

What could it do to the last two? Envy imagined, with a smirk, driving up to some random bum on the street, then getting out and handing the guy the keys before walking away without a word. Oh, Greed would just loathe that. But the vehicles were too distinctive, too traceable. Maybe a bomb, or…

Envy grinned.

.

_Ring. _

_Ring. _

Click

"Hello, Zolf Kimblee speaking."

"Do you work on commission?" Envy asked, brushing off introductions.

"What do you need?" Envy could hear the grin in his voice. It was easy to picture him there, sitting at his desk like a good little soldier, perhaps getting a call from a girlfriend asking him to pick up groceries on the way home.

"To make a point to someone."

Greed had tried to use the human against it, now Envy would use the human against Greed.

.

After work, Kimblee drove a military-issue car to an address Envy gave him. It turned out to be a suburb on the fringe of Central, far enough out that the buildings became sparse, punctuated with green fields and belts of forest. Upon driving to the end of a dirt road, he discovered Envy sitting atop a pile of twisted metal. Broken glass lay sparkling on the ground around it.

"What's all this?" Kimblee asked, regarding the scrap heap.

"The point." Envy said shortly, jumping off to land beside him. Its bare feet must have gotten cut on the glass, but it seemed not to notice. "Make it into a giant hand giving the finger."

He did so, slightly puzzled by the request. It was an interesting addition to the scenic agrarian surroundings.

Never let it be said that Envy couldn't get its point across.

"Who is this for anyway?"

"Never you mind."

Kimblee frowned slightly. Usually Envy took questions better, even when it could not or would not answer.

"Good." Envy said, regarding the finished shape. "Now there's a building I need you to blow up. And no, I can't tell you why or who or what's inside it."

Kimblee _was _more or less on Greed's side, after all, so Envy figured it would be best if he didn't know exactly what he was doing. Nice little surprise for both of them that way.

.

The garage in which the last car lay made an impressive explosion, sending a cloud of dust and rubble many hundreds of feet in the air. The fiery colors blended into the hues of the crisp autumn sunset, and the column of black smoke it left was satisfyingly dramatic against the vivid sky.

Kimblee regarded it fondly, yet felt his elation diminish ever so slightly when he turned to look at Envy. The expression on its face was not happy in the slightest. He had hoped that this creature, if anyone, would share his joy in this.

"Is something wrong, Invidia?"

The pet-name was like a slap in the face, but Envy forced itself not to react.

"I'm…distracted is all." The best lies were ones with elements of truth in them. With a massive force of effort, it smiled. "It's pretty. I can see why you enjoy doing this."

"I'm glad you like it."

It was as though he were giving Envy flowers. More significant, because this was clearly something that mattered to him. Envy would have found it sweet had the intention behind it been genuine. As things stood, however, it felt as though it had a brick in its stomach, heavy and cold.

"Do you feel like coming over? I'll make you dinner."

Envy dug its nails into the palms of its hands.

"No. Father gave me a lot of work tonight." It wasn't ready for the second half of its revenge. Not when it felt on the verge of screaming. Another fake smile. "I'll come see you next chance I get."

.

Envy sent Kimblee back without it, claiming it had some business or other in this remote little area. After the sound of the engine died away, Envy stood for a moment, watching the trail of smoke dissipate. It hoped, profusely, that it would not think of Kimblee every time it looked at a sunset from now on, would not unwillingly remember the way he had colored the sky like a gift.

Sincerity in manipulation; fruit of a poisoned tree. Kimblee was become just like family.

Speaking of…

"Enjoy your date, you monstrous bitch?"

Whatever passed for a heart, in Envy, barely had time to accelerate before Greed shoved a crowbar through Envy's skull from behind. It emerged from Envy's mouth on the other side like a long, metallic tongue, shattering a few teeth as it went.

Even for their kind, it was difficult to deal with something lodged in their head. The brain more or less controlled the movement of their bodies, as it would in a human. Unlike a human, Envy's brain could recover from this, but not with the bar still in place, and it had difficulty making its arms obey enough to pull the invasive object out, with the neural passageways smashed and severed.

Envy would not have had time, even had its brain been functioning normally, to yank the metal bar out of its head before two more were added, one through each eye. That shut the lights out in Envy's mind pretty effectively.

.

The next thing Envy was aware of was darkness; the way only underground could be dark. But it could perceive the darkness, whereas before it could perceive no visual input at all, so the bars must have been taken out of its eyes.

A light flickered into being, and the blurred, disjointed image of Greed holding a torch came into focus, although Envy had trouble making sense of what it was seeing and hearing. Although the receptacles for sight and sound were intact, the sensory impulses they registered became jumbled and lost inside Envy's hemorrhaging skull.

"I wanted to…something through you for every dollar you cost me." Greed was saying, although the words cut out like a bad phone connection. Envy was on eye-level with him…upright, yet not standing…"You don't have enough…for that, even as your fat-ass self. Then…thought maybe one for every hundred dollars you cost me. Still impossible. One for every _thousand_ you cost me…did the best I could."

He held the torch closer, so the flame illuminated Envy's body. What was left of it, anyway. Nearly every inch of its flesh had been pierced by nails, needles, bars, shards of rock, even an arrow here and there. Whatever Greed could get his hands on, by the looks of it.

He pulled the torch away.

"…be a good little monster and…about what you've done…I'll…check on you in…."

The light was extinguished, although it may have been the failing of Envy's consciousness.

.

(A/N: ...to the wall! *Is shot* A-anyway, I apologize for the long delay. This chapter is short, but expect the next one very soon. Thanks for reading!)


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Getting Unlucky

(A/N: So I generally dislike it when authors include elaborate dream sequences...but I like to write them, so yay for hypocrisy.)

.  
>.<p>

_At this point, keeping a written record of events is possibly the worst thing I could do._

_And yet..._

_So what if it could potentially get me killed? Same could be said of this entire business. Same could be said of my becoming a soldier. Same could be said of stepping out my front door every morning. Everything entails a risk, but we move forward because the risk of not doing so has the potential to be even worse. _

_And I am at risk of losing my mind, for the sheer volume of thoughts within it, which I can safely express to no one else. _

_So, if you feel you have the courage to explore the private thoughts of Zolf J. Kimblee, have at it. Assumedly you will be horrified/disgusted by what you read, and I will be revenged upon you for snooping. _

_Now then. _

_This writing is also a record, documenting a phenomenon which is both unprecedented and highly disquieting. _

_The hostility of my fellow researchers has ceased to be entertaining. A joke told too many times. Each failed chimera begins to seem like an insult to my abilities. The archaic and often poorly translated Xerxian texts concerning the Philosopher's Stone have lost their intrigue and merely seem impetuous, as though deliberately defiant. Our deficient sacrifices and limited resources become increasingly infuriating. Even the secrets to which I am privy have become burdensome, the revelation which I was given but can share with no one. I am restless, I dislike this subterfuge, this bland and meaningless pretense which I am forced to maintain. Although I am good at acting the role necessary, that is not what I find joy in. I want to rip away the mask; I want to see the fear in people's eyes when they look at me. When they know the truth. _

_The cause of my dissatisfaction, however, lies elsewhere as much as in any thing I have thus far mentioned. While these complaints are valid, I did not view these problems as such when…ah, I struggle to even write it. _

_The truth is, journal, I am infatuated. Besotted, smitten, sweet-on – whatever tooth-rottingly saccharine term you like. I face this realization with a mixture of horror and fascination. Thus far in my adult life I have never experienced such a thing, and had come to believe that I would not. I assumed I was incapable, and the few who truly know me would have agreed. And I cannot say that I am grateful for this, nor that I am fond of it. _

_I brought it on myself, this much I will admit, and neither did it come as a surprise. I was aware of what was happening, my rather unprecedented feelings. Yet I was taken unaware of just how acute they had become. Again, I cross into irritatingly mawkish territory when I say this, but one truly does not know the importance of something until it is removed. (I am reminded of a previous test subject whom I accidentally asphyxiated. That man likely had never given much overt appreciation to the air, until he found himself deprived of it, drowning in his own blood.) _

_So, Invidia is gone, without a word, and I find myself – I must force myself to put the word down in ink – pining. It has only been slightly more than a week since we last saw one another, but whether a few days or a few hours, I have difficulty of thinking of anything else (my vital research, for starters, which might explain how I let a perfectly healthy subject suffocate while preoccupied with brooding. How I hate incompetence, particularly my own.) _

_Historically I have felt nothing but pity and mild contempt mingled with curiosity for those who place their happiness in the hands of another. Perhaps this is fate teaching me the error of overconfidence. Even my precious alchemy offers little consolation. Not that it matters to me any less than it did, but it is food when one is dying of dehydration. _

_I miss Invidia's company terribly. It was a source of boundless amusement to witness the way (he? she? it? Pronouns, they fail me) observed the other researchers, viewing them as the hawk observes the field mouse. That fierce yet neutral predatory objectivity. The viewpoint of one who has studied humans in terms of how best to destroy them, yet who is nonetheless profoundly and unapologetically alien. For the first time in my life, I knew someone with whom I could be both be honest and maintain an amicable relationship – and someone who I simply like, all else aside. _

_But now, I must ask myself, am I just another field mouse, to Invidia's bird of prey? It is not with self-deluding egotism with which I say I am different from other humans, but perhaps I am still too human, even at that. _

_Yet just as any addict knows their poison makes them weak and yet cannot deny it, so I too cannot even fully reject these silly sentimental hang-ups. As discontent as I am at the moment, had I the choice to erase these emotions, I would likely opt to keep them. That, above all else, tells me how badly I've fallen._

.

The worst punishments were always the ones which involved a loss in sense of time. Although prone to complain about it, Envy could tolerate a great deal of pain, but not for eternity. And, alone in the darkness, it might just as well have been.

Coherence waxed and waned as its body tried, and failed, to heal itself around the penetrating objects. Each was something Envy could have escaped individually, although it would have had to rip its body apart in the process. The bar through the brain, however, was its undoing.

Envy's consciousness kept guttering out like a candle in the wind, as its body tried to restore itself and could not, around the foreign implement. Working within the brief windows of lucidity between its brain partially healing and failing over and over, it would take…a long time, a very long time, to pry itself out. It was pinned so tightly that transformation was, if not impossible, counterproductive. Even the slightest alteration of size or shape involved ripping and rending everywhere, around all the skewers which had been thrust carefully, meticulously, between every bone, tendon and vital blood vein possible. As soon as the process was begun, the sheer amount of physical damage which ensued caused Envy to lapse back into death.

Its body worked just well enough, between windows of darkness, to still feel pain. Figured.

The ascents and descents into nothingness were almost as bad as the agony of full consciousness, for in that brief span of time, Envy could dream.

There were very few things which Envy dreamed about. Only a small number had to do with its own life. The most common theme was 'Greed' dreams, generally involving him either leaving or having already left, his absence. Sometimes, just before he left or as he was leaving, he would kiss Envy, and it was bittersweet for a moment, until Envy realized that the stone in its mouth had been stolen in the kiss. Then its multitude of lives would rot off its bones, severed from their source.

Then there were the 'human' dreams, generally involving the things Envy did while under cover. Usually, the dreams involved being found out. The human façade would be ripped away and they would _see _Envy, not just in its usual form, but in its small, weak, ugly one. Envy usually awoke from such dreams in a murderous rage.

However, the vast majority of Envy's dreams were not dreams at all, nor were they Envy's. When it slept, it relived the last moments of the people of Xerxies.

Envy was generally outside in the dream-memories, surrounded by pale buildings and palm trees stretching up to a bright, clear desert sky darkened with impending nightmare. Envy was one gender or the other, with sun-kissed limbs and hair of flaxen or gold.

There would be a blood-chilling, breathless sense of foreboding. Then, doom fell. The pain, the terror, of having one's soul ripped away from its body. In the absence of physical form and powerless to resist, it was dragged to the epicenter, the place where the stone was being forged with the raw power of many thousand lives. Every stolen soul was screaming.

There came the understanding, in death, of what they could not have known in life, that their king had betrayed all of them, had sold them out to a power beyond their reckoning. They were to be the blood-price of immortality. And they were drawn into a cloud of darkness, an inhuman consciousness contained within a flask. They were with him, of him, they _were_ him…

It was from those dreams which Envy usually awoke screaming.

But now, lost in the endless peaks and valleys of its shifting consciousness, a new nightmare seeped out from the confines of Envy's hemorrhaging brain like a cold, insidious fog.

In the dream, Envy is lost in the void of lost souls…or maybe it is Pride's darkness, full of razor teeth and leering eyes. Perhaps it is some mixture of the two, for Envy seems at once at risk of being sliced and pierced, and of falling away into the cold, infinite emptiness. An icy, shrill wind howls around it, or maybe that is the sound of all the souls wailing. Underneath, fading in and out of perception, there is Pride's indecipherable, ominous whispering. Screams and whispers. There's so little of Envy left, too little to keep out the wind it can feel whistling right through its insubstantial form.

Greed and Kimblee are present as well. There and yet not there, in the way bits and fragments of different thoughts and ideas can be presented in dreams; intersecting and yet not interacting. Symbols taken out of context. They are together in a mercifully inexplicit way, more sensual than sexual, in a manner which almost seems to transcend the fact of physicality.

In spite of this, or perhaps because of it, Envy is consumed with itself, the bitter taste of jealousy like bile in the back of its throat. Greed has not a glance to spare on Envy, even to gloat, too satisfied with himself and his new toy. And what a toy he is. Envy's dream representation of Kimblee is not more attractive than reality per se, the attractiveness is merely emphasized, like a diamond under lights. Glossy black hair like wet ink makes a striking contrast against pale skin and immaculately white sheets, which are both slightly luminous. Envy is caught in this half-light, and this seems to be the only thing keeping Envy in existence.

They fit well together; a striking couple. In the face of bitter jealousy comes resignation. This makes sense. This is how it should be.

Greed, every inch of him hard, sculpted predatory perfection, leans down and sinks shark-like teeth deep into Kimblee's throat, spilling red into the darkness, splashing across pale bedclothes and skin now cool in death. Greed, in his avarice, consuming his possession totally. Envy doesn't know if it is sad or angry or more jealous than ever.

The dream shifts, the darkness shudders. Envy flirts with consciousness for a moment like a drowning swimmer reaching for the light of the surface. Encounters crushing pain which cannot be endured. Flounders. Body fails. Darkness falls again, and the dream resets itself. It's just Kimblee now, sitting there in layers of once-more white cloth. No Greed, no blood. He reaches out a glimmering, tattooed hand into the darkness. Every fiber of Envy's rather deficient being is suddenly oriented to that gesture, like a magnet to the North.

_Invidia_.

Slowly it stands, although there seems nothing under it to support any weight. One wrong step will send it into the void, and sometimes even the right steps are sharp and piercing. They are not far apart, and yet takes an impossible effort of will to cross that small distance.

Finally Envy is there, sitting on the edge of the bedding, glad of something to anchor it. Kimblee reaches out and pets Envy like a cat, with his touch drawing it closer. Envy knows he's warm, although in the dream it cannot feel it. His touch is gentle and exquisitely painful, and it seems like Envy might shatter down to each fragmented soul under the tension.

Without missing a beat or altering his expression in the slightest, with his fingertips he begins to casually shred a little more of whatever is left of Envy's being. And his eyes become dark holes, in which countless smaller eyes open. Then the incandescent shell of him is shredded from the inside with razor shadows, and the light is gone, and Envy doesn't have enough of itself left to scream.

.

Envy was wrenched back to consciousness by the pain of having every piercing object ripped out. It was Pride rather than Greed, Envy saw, once it _could_ see once more, and for a moment it panicked as though it were still in the nightmare. Still mostly pinned, however, it could do nothing about it.

Finally, and with both of them participating towards the end, every skewer was removed and Envy fell to the ground, coughing on bits of splinters and clots of dried blood. Any gratitude Envy might have felt was offset by the knowledge that Pride could have intervened at any time, yet had still chose to leave Envy pinned to the wall for so long. Days, perhaps, judging by the spider webs in Envy's hair, and the frostbite that had corroded it everywhere there was any flesh left to blight.

Pride's actions probably had less to do with desire to help Envy and more to do with foiling Greed's devised 'punishment'. Come to think of it, Pride might be the reason Greed wised up to what Envy had been doing so quickly. Envy made a quick note never to accept help from Pride ever again. It should not have needed to be reminded.

"It was a nice touch, using the human against Greed." Pride said, as Envy spit out a nail that had gotten inside it somehow. "However, do not trust Greed to get revenge on Kimblee for you."

Envy did not respond. It could have stood up, but had no will to, remaining in a heap on the floor. For a moment, Envy wanted simply to not…be.

"_Envy_." Pride said sharply, and Envy sat up and listened because it was used to doing what Pride says.

"I _said_, you must not trust Greed to get revenge on the human for you."

"No." Envy managed, although its voice was a rasp through a cut-up, partially obstructed throat.

Pride smiled. "Shall I avert my eyes tonight?"

It was not Pride's job to keep the human alive, after all. That was too time-consuming, considering how many people hated Kimblee. If someone was to murder him while he slept, well, even Pride could not be _everywhere_ at once. Not quite.

"Yes."

In the shadows, sharp teeth were bared in a hundred grins.

.

Envy had carefully planned its revenge.

Greed's had been simple. Familiar. Envy knew how it worked, between them.

Kimblee, though? That part was more complicated. It had to be subtle. Too heavy-handed, and it would be as though Envy were admitting it cared. If their plan had worked, if Envy had given in and given the human what he wanted – and, by extension, what Greed wanted – then Kimblee would certainly have died a very painful death. However, that was not the case. Envy wasn't technically looking for revenge. It was looking to take back control.

As Envy crept through the darkness of Kimblee's living quarters, it forced itself not to think about all that could go wrong. In terms of fortitude, this moment was not its best, still recovering from its recent ordeal. It had to remind itself that this was just normal darkness, not Pride's shadow, not the void inside. Both things still felt very close, as though one wrong step and it would be cut, would fall…

A whole different fear took over as Envy edged up to Kimblee's bed. It was not practiced at seducing people. That was Lust's job, and Greed's hobby. Envy stepped in to mimic a person, and by extension a relationship, which already existed. Making this first step was not in its experience. If there was any chance of Kimblee turning it down, Envy would not have had the nerve. It reminded itself how hard the human had been trying to win it over, all his careful manipulation. He would only assume his plan had worked, that Envy had been won over and was falling into his arms like a little whore. He would not say no.

All the same, Envy's hands shook as it pulled back the blankets and slipped underneath. Kimblee was sleeping on his back, at least, which made things easier than they might have been. Slowly, carefully, quivering with the anticipation of being blown to pieces, it slipped one leg over the his sleeping form, straddling his hips.

A man from Xing would comment, years later, that Envy's body was disproportionally heavy for its size. However that, like all of Envy's features, was variable. Weight could be an advantage in a fight, but at the moment Envy weighed about as much as one might expect to look at it – not very much at all. It wasn't Envy's intention to break the human's pelvis. Not _yet_, anyway.

His warmth made Envy aware of how cold it was, having been left for so long underground and dead. For a moment, Envy was tempted to forget about the plan and just kill him, imagining how lovely it would be to lay here in his warmth until it was utterly spent, without fear of betrayal. Who cared if Greed had his body, if Envy claimed his life? But he was already stirring, coming back to his treacherous self, and the brief opportunity was gone.

Before he was fully conscious, Kimblee knew who it was on top of him as if he had been given a written notification in advance. Only Envy's lips could be that cold on his cheek, his jaw line, his neck…

He reached up, laying his hands on the homunculus's sides. Envy froze, as though it hadn't intended to get caught in the act. In was certain, for a moment, that it was about to become a humanoid bomb. That wouldn't be the end of it, but it would be painful and humiliating; both things which Envy had had quite enough of recently.

Yet for once, explosions were far from Kimblee's mind.

"And here I'd thought you had forgotten me." He murmured, rubbing small circles with his thumbs, feeling how distinct the ribs were beneath his touch. All bone and muscle on this creature, no softness to speak of.

"No." Envy said, relieved at being intact. "Greed just nailed me to a wall for a few days."

"A few _days? _Are you alright?"

Envy seemed well enough, but it struck him as rude not to ask.

"I'm fine." There was a slight waiver to its voice, but this might have been due to Kimblee's fingers running up the length of its spine as much as the falsehood.

He sat up, so that Envy was now sitting in his lap, wrapping one arm around Envy's waist while the other drew the blankets closer around them, the better to warm Envy. It didn't escape his notice, how Envy didn't quite meet his eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" He felt he had to ask, because while Envy was certainly being quite forward, it was also a very dramatic change. They had never even kissed before, after all. The surprise was welcome, but it _was _a surprise, and he wanted to be certain.

"Yes…" Envy still didn't fully look at him. "I should have done this a long time ago."

It thought for a moment that Kimblee might argue, but he merely leaned in and pressed his lips to Envy's. There was the initial plunging fear and revulsion. Envy had kissed before, although never as itself. Most people just mashed their mouths up against Envy's, shoved their tongues inside and slavered like dogs. The more enthusiastic they were, the more rushed and sloppy it was.

And yet this…this was nothing like that at all. The contact was gentle, slow and deliberate. He put attention into it, as though he was kissing Envy just for the sake of a kiss alone, rather than rushing along to get to the good stuff. Weirdly, miraculously, the apprehension melted away. Envy realized that it…it _liked_ this, and was horrified that it did. When he started sucking and nibbling on Envy's lower lip, it felt like it just might go insane. Its mouth opened of its own accord, and their tongues brushed together. Envy moaned into Kimblee's mouth.

Kimblee was feeling a little out of his mind as well, in more than just the usual way. Those little sounds Envy made, the way its nails dug into his back through his tank top…it was his favorite fantasy made real. It was excruciating to take this slowly, but so worth it...

"You wouldn't believe how much I've thought about this. About you." He whispered, slightly breathless, pulling back and shifting his attention to Envy's neck, kissing and sucking, punctuated with sharp little nips. "Every night," kiss, "since we met", bite, lick, "I've dreamed of having you in my arms." He sucked for a moment, raising a hickey fated to vanish as soon as it was made.

Envy moaned, louder than before, tightening its grip on him. It could not become aroused from this, it lacked the requisite anatomy and hormones, yet there was a reaction. Its stomach was a flurry of butterfly wings, and hundreds of nerve endings it had never been aware of were called to tingling attention beneath Kimblee's mouth and hands. _Nothing_ had ever felt like this. Some sort of tension was building in it, coiling inside, so taut it felt like something vital might snap…

What the hell was this? It was suppose to be Envy in control, not whimpering and writhing under Kimblee's touch like a bitch in heat.

_Yeah_, that little voice in the back of Envy's mind, which sounded a lot like Pride, commented. _I'll bet Greed enjoyed it too. _

Envy forced itself to think of that, that cold, sobering thought that killed each of the fluttering insects in its stomach. With new resolve, Envy shifted just enough to create a bit of space between their bodies. It reached down between them, and with one finger began teasing the head of his cock through the fabric of his pants. He was hard as a rock already, and Envy smirked at the way his hips jerked slightly, seemingly involuntarily. Good, he was more worked up than he let on. With that assurance, Envy slipped its hand under the elastic waistband and gripped his length in earnest. He made a low, appreciative sound as Envy began working his member with firm yet painfully slow strokes.

Envy found a surprising - no, _appalling_ - enjoyment in that as well, that which should have been entirely disgusting. It was...satisfying, to be in control like this, to make him moan, make his breath hitch in his throat as Envy quickened the pace. To feel exactly how much he wanted Envy, _Envy. _No matter what had or would happen with Greed, this moment belonged to Envy and no one else. Envy adored that and hated that it did.

It was apparent to Kimblee that either the shape-shifter had explored this piece of anatomy on its own form, or had had a lot of practice with others, for its touch was not that of a novice. Even so, since when did he lose all his composure, just from a bit of fondling? He couldn't bring himself to care overly much. It just felt too good, Envy was so…

"I'm curious." The object of all his desires whispered in his ear, "is a hand-job enough, or do you actually have to fuck me before you can say you won your bet?"

It took a moment for the words to register, yet when they did it was with appreciable impact. Fear and desire clashed, and he was lost in the struggle for a moment, torn between his mental _this-is-bad _and his physical _I-don't-care-don't-stop._

He had been breathing heavily, and then for a moment ceased to breathe at all. The look on his face was exactly the look a man would have when they realize that, not only have they angered a monster, but said monster could crush his balls with the slightest movement of its hand.

Envy did not choose that moment to unman him, however, merely watched his fear with cold satisfaction.

"That's the problem with telling me a lie I like so well. I might like the lie of you better than the truth of you. And if the real you has to die, so the lie can remain unsullied…"

"I haven't been lying." His voice was low, strained.

Envy's fingers tightened ever so slightly on him.

"Uh-huh." It voice was coolly cynical.

He took a deep breath, struggling not to find words, but to choose the right ones. He considered himself a skilled rhetorician; let that be true now if ever.

"Will you hear my side of it?"

"Why would I do that?"

"…Food bill?"

Envy pulled back. "Huh?"

"I've fed you several times." It was one hell of a reach, but it was all he had. "That should at least earn me one chance, as little value as human lives are to you."

Envy scowled. "Chintzy bastard."

"If it keeps me alive."

Envy sighed. Normally, hearing them beg was the best part, but this was hardly normal. It had no desire to see Kimblee use what had seemed, for a moment, like a genuine bond between them as ransom to save his own life.

"Don't bother." Envy let go and slid off of his lap, standing. "It's not worth it for me to kill you, nor do I care about your reasons. I just want you to know you lost." It turned to go.

"Invidia –"

Salt in the wound Envy was pretending not to have, that nickname. Envy rounded on him, all but snarling.

"Call me that again and I'll rip your cock off!"

"You owe me a chance to explain." His voice was more decisive now.

"Why?" Envy took a step towards him, threatening. "What do you think you'll _get _from it? Even if I swallow every lie you tell me like an idiot, I'll never put out!"

"What lies am I supposed to have told you?"

"Think I'm gonna make it that easy? I've been doing this longer than you have." It made to leave again.

"_Invidia." _

Envy turned again, incredulity rivaling anger. "Are you _trying_ to make me kill you?"

"I'm trying to make you stay."

"Even if I do, what could either of us hope to gain from that?"

What could be left to salvage?

"You could gain a cup of tea, if you wait for me to boil water." He pushed the blankets aside and stood up. "Then we can actually talk, which it seems we very much need to."

Envy bristled. "Just that you're being amicable after what I did is enough to make me doubt every word you say!"

"What did you do, aside from start something you don't intend to finish?"

"I threatened you. A-and even so, you must be…unhappy…"

Envy could only think of what Greed would do, when denied something he wanted.

"On the contrary." Kimblee smirked as he passed Envy in the doorway. "If every threat made to me included such a sweet caress, my life would entirely more enjoyable."

In reality, he was somewhat uncomfortable now, having been brought so close and then denied release. Still, in terms of what an enraged homunculus could do to a human, he figured he was singularly lucky if the worst he dealt with was the deep ache of pent-up tension.

Envy was grateful to the darkness for hiding its blush, as Kimblee made his way into the kitchen.

.

(A/N: Happy Christmas smut, thanks for reading!)


	14. Bare Your Throat and Hope For the Best

(A/N: This chapter is a f**king two-thousand-and-some word conversation. But what else would you expect, when dredging the raging cesspool of mental and psychological neurosis that is Envy?)

.

"Aren't they paying you enough to buy furniture?" Envy asked as it sat cross-legged on the floor, a mug of tea steaming in front of it.

"I keep putting it off. You're essentially the only guest I have."

Envy made no response, looking anywhere but at Kimblee.

"It's not poisoned." He said, referring to Envy's untouched beverage.

Envy still didn't trust it. This reminded it too much of the kindness of its siblings: acts of kindness laced if not with arsenic, then with manipulation and hidden agendas.

"You said you wanted to talk." Envy said, still not looking at him. "So talk."

"Right." He took a sip of his own tea, contemplating how to say it. "I don't know what you've been told exactly, but…well, I'll start at the beginning. When we met, I was immediately fascinated by you. Our fight was among the most intense things I've ever experienced, and as far as looks go, you're exactly my taste. Both things combined had me enamored. Later, Greed made a pass at me, and although I find him attractive, the logic of most families dictates that when you're interested in one sibling, it's not advisable to fool around with another. I told him as much, and he expressed his…doubts, as to whether my interest wasn't misplaced. In a glib moment, I bet him that I could win you over."

He shrugged.

"It seems I was wrong, and that is disappointing. But you're more to me than an exciting prospect or a game. I've come to consider you my friend. The bet I made has been the farthest thing from my mind."

He looked at Envy, who still refused to meet his eyes. He sighed. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"You're too much like me." Envy said, shaking its head tiredly. "We lie; we manipulate, to get what we want. And I'm supposed to believe that your motives were pure and honorable this whole time? Honestly, Kimblee, would _you _believe you?"

It met his eyes, finally; the look on its face was equal parts guarded and anguished; miserable, but not vulnerable.

"There's nothing pure or honorable about it. If I thought lying would get me what I want from you, then I would tell any lie necessary. However, the thing I want most – more than sex, if you can believe that from a male human – is someone I don't have to lie to. Think of it as narcissism if you will, I _like_ myself far too much to never be myself around anyone."

That was something of a point, Envy would admit. It knew enough about humans to understand how different this one was from others, and knew enough about deception to know how tedious it could be, even for those who were good at it. Something inside wavered. Envy _wanted _to believe him, to be soothed by his cool logic into acquiescence and trust. But was it willing to believe Kimblee, over its own sister? Especially when it was so obviously in over its head. As self-deluding and prone to denial as Envy was, it could sense that it was too close to this matter to see it clearly.

But Lust had objectivity in this. And she understood humans too, particularly the male variety. _And _she had been the one to tell Envy about the bet. That was more than could be said of Kimblee. Was it truly not important to him, as he said, or had it simply been a convenient lie by omission? Envy shuddered inwardly. So much like something Greed would do, that was. If Lust had warned Envy away from Kimblee, was Envy bold enough to ignore that?

"But why have you been…nice to me this whole time? Cooking me food that I don't even need, and giving me tea and talking to me and…everything. Am I supposed to believe the 'real you' is some kind of nice guy?"

It came down to that. As theoretically good reasons as Kimblee might have for his interest, his behavior nonetheless struck Envy as suspicious. It wasn't accustomed to kindness, and it made the homunculus wary, even as it drew Envy in like a moth to a flame.

"I'm nice to my friends," said Kimblee, "I've simply never had one. It's not _my _fault most people are entirely tedious and bland."

"I'll grant that in the world of humans I'm something of a novelty. That doesn't mean I believe you. Why should I believe that you, of all people, care about…" _me? _"About things like _friendship _and honesty?"

He _was_, as Lust said, the unabashed turncoat, traitor to all of his kind. What other reason did Envy need to question his motives?

"Why not? These things which most people view as irrevocable opposites – kindness and cruelty, sincerity and manipulation – I see merely as different points on the same spectrum. Just because I'm capable of one extreme doesn't mean that's _all_ I'm capable of."

Why not, indeed? Because nothing ever turned out that well for Envy, that was why. But Envy knew saying that wouldn't get them anywhere. It groped, attempting to put words to its indistinct yet overbearing mistrust and doubt.

"What about Greed?" Envy asked, finally – always a good starting point when questioning its lack of trust.

"What about him?"

"You could get the same things from him. That and more. I don't believe you turned him down for me."

"I'm sure we'd have a satisfying relationship for a brief time, but I want more than that. Imagine what life would be like; if you were constantly under cover, unable to reveal your true nature to anyone, forever."

"That would be hell." Even Pride loathed it, having to act the human boy perpetually, and he had a refuge where he could dispense with the façade. Did that make this human superior to Pride in that regard? What a funny thought.

"I want more than a moment's freedom from it, and that's more than Greed can offer."

"Okay…" Envy's eyes narrowed, "potential for lasting camaraderie aside, I don't believe you've never fucked him. At least admit to that."

"I haven't."

"I don't believe you."

"Ask him if you want, assuming he's as honest as he claims to be."

"No one turns Greed down. No one." _No one chooses me over him._

"Clearly I'm extraordinary."

"And so modest." Envy couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Of course. So is that what you thought, that I'd sampled one sibling and was aiming for the next?"

"You strike me as the type who enjoys a novel conquest. Mostly I thought – and I haven't entirely ruled it out yet, I'll need to hear it from him directly – that Greed was using you to get to me. The way he sees it, if he has you and you have me…"

"I get the idea."

"It might sound obscure, but he's done it before. With other people he wants to own that are too ugly to touch."

"You're…kidding right?"

"No. For all that he comes off as a simpleton, when it comes to what he wants Greed can be as manipulative and convoluted as –"

"Not that. About you being ugly."

That rendered Envy speechless for a moment. It was accustomed, at best, to disregard towards its neurosis concerning its appearance; at worst, open derision and scorn. Positive regard was something with which it had no experience.

"You've seen what I really look like. Underneath, I am ugly." Envy was shocked to hear its own words. Yes, it knew that's what Greed thought of it, but it had never quite realized just how much it agreed with him.

"Beauty is only skin-deep in all of us. If you stripped away my outer layer, I wouldn't look too attractive either."

"You wouldn't look like _that._"

"I wouldn't look any better. Besides, I think you're true form is fascinating. It's _powerful_. What is appearance, to that?"

Of course, Envy knew, this human could not understand. He'd been born so…perfect. Perfect, at least, compared to the twisted, crawling form of Envy's beginning.

And then Envy realized it had done exactly what Lust had warned against, almost without notice. It had let the human see the core of this vulnerability: that although Envy could look any way it wanted, it always saw itself, on some level, as an ugly thing. Kimblee had all the power now. Envy could kill him, yes, but short of that it had no advantage. It had come here to teach him a lesson; to take back control, yet this had ended entirely on Kimblee's terms – if not with Envy in his bed, then still where he wanted it. He had told Envy to stay, and here they were. Told Envy to listen to him, and it had. Envy recalled its coma nightmares involving Kimblee, the way he had called Envy to him, comforted it one moment and so calmly ripped it apart the next. Maybe it was prophetic. Either way, though, there was no resisting. Just like in the dream, Envy had come when called and was entirely open, entirely vulnerable. There was no going back.

"Okay." Envy said. "I've made up my mind."

"Oh?"

"Yes. If you're lying to me...I still like the lie better than the truth." It was, in fact, the best lie Envy had ever been told. "I can live with that." What more could a creature such as Envy hope for?

Kimblee frowned. "That's unacceptable."

"That's all I have." Said Envy, shaking its head. "That is literally the best I can do."

"What, and everything between us will be contingent on mistrust and lies? That's the antithesis of what I want. And I think I've earned better than that from you." For the first time his voice was heated.

"Even if you have…its not…you're not…" Envy swallowed, on the verge of spilling even more. "I don't believe in what you seem to want, in that kind of attachment." Hell, Envy had moved past Lust's prohibitions; why not move on to Pride's? Not merely that Envy could not trust Kimblee, but that Envy could not _trust_ at all. It had gone so far already, why not go the final lap, bare every last vital point to him? Not like Kimblee didn't have enough openings necessary to rip Envy open and gut it, as Lust so succinctly phrased it.

"Friendship, family, kin and clan," continued Envy, "all these things humans revere – I see them as only glorified survival instincts. Humans form these bonds because they have no choice but to do so."

Prides lesson's replayed themselves like a silent mantra, _you do not need love, you do not need protection, you do not need trust. These things, which humans need, will only weaken you. _

"Is that a bad thing," Kimblee asked, "bonds formed of mutual dependence?"

"I wouldn't put it in terms of good or bad. I mean, it's clearly worked well for your kind. But people mistake the nature of those bonds. Love…attachments of that nature, are self-serving, and treacherous as such. So its not that I can't trust _you_, it's that I believe it is wrong to trust in the first place. I don't need to in order to survive, and anything beyond that fundamental purpose will only be a disappointment."

Envy braced itself for rage. Envy was taking the friendship Kimblee offered and smashing it, demolishing the very idea of it. Taking the only potential he believed he had for any kind of companionship – assuming he'd been telling the truth about all that – and turning it to dust before his eyes. Normally Envy relished such things, destroying something precious and witnessing the resulting despair. But this was far from normal.

"Tell me," Kimblee said, eyes cool and clear as the arctic sea, "as harshly and honestly as you can, is this exchange of ideas weak?"

Envy hesitated. It had not been expecting that. For once, Pride's conniving influence inside Envy's mind had no answer, no harsh truth to wither his sibling's folly.

"…No. I don't see how, anyway."

"When I say want some sort of relationship with you, I don't expect selflessness or devotion or anything like that. I want acceptance: that you can see me for who I am and vice versa, and neither of us will run away screaming. So tell me, is that weak?"

"No." The scornful voices of Envy's siblings had gone quiet, and it felt remarkably free without them. "If you're not weak and I'm not...then accepting each other as such can't be weak either."

"That's all I'm asking of you. Just be what you are, and let me do the same."

_He doesn't know what he's asking for_, Greed's influence quipped, but Envy angrily denied the thought. What did Greed know? Not like he was any better. It certainly wasn't Envy's fault he was an asshole, and that Envy responded in kind. Envy resolved that, at least until the day Kimblee decided to betray Envy after all, that it would be the kind of friend who deserved to be such. It promised itself that it would never prove Greed right…

"Okay."

"Thank you. And about tonight…"

…Assuming Envy hadn't already messed that up with the stunt it had just pulled. So was Greed right after all? Was Envy was just a nasty bitch, even to the one person who might…maybe, theoretically, just possibly…deserve better?

"I'm sorry." Envy blurted out, before Kimblee had even finished speaking. Because it did _not _want to be everything Greed said it was, and yet on some level already believed it was exactly that.

"I forgive you."

"J-just like that?"

"As I said, there's not actually much which needs forgiving. Making a bet concerning you was disrespectful, and I take responsibility for that. Considering what you thought, about my motives and Greed's, your anger was understandable. All I ask is that in the future, you hear my side of it before threatening my manhood."

Envy felt itself blush again. "I will."

"Good." He leaned back and stretched. "If it means you trust me more then you did, then I don't regret anything." He gathered their cups and stood, turning back towards the kitchen. "As much as I'd enjoy continuing this conversation, I need to leave for work soon. Lets pick it up another time."

The sky outside was indeed tinted with the light of dawn.

"Hell, I really kept you up all night?" Envy was partially surprised that it had been there that long, and at the same time felt as though years had passed since the sun had set the previous day.

"I think I'll survive." His nights - or days for that matter - were rarely as interesting as this one had been. Fatigue was a small price to pay.

"I should get going myself." Envy said, standing as well. "I can think of a few siblings who I want a word with." The customary note of menace had returned to its voice.

"Don't get nailed to anymore walls."

Envy smiled, a bit ruefully. "On that note, I make no promises."

"Oh, one last thing, before you go."

"Hm?"

"May I call you Invidia again?"

Why the hell was Envy _blushing _so damn much? This was just plain embarrassing.

"Yes."

.

(A/N: For those of you wondering, I am _not _going to leave them at 'just friends'. Thanks for reading!)


	15. Women and Wine

(A/N: I realized I should have named Monique's pub. Its basically Devil's Nest before Devil's Nest, because I imagine Greed would want a place to get away from the family, even before he left in earnest. I'll probably go back and slap a title on it later.)

.

_How long will it take, only time will tell _

_Before the chains o' damnation drag me down to hell_

_But in the meantime, I'll take the women and wine_

_.  
><em>

The pub was much different in the daytime; dark inside, with chairs upside down on top of tables. Beams of light sliced the musky gloom, catching dust motes as they hung suspect in the still air. The sound of Envy's footsteps were loud in the silence, a silence only deepened by the memory of what took place there nightly. The floorboards were still broken where Envy had smashed Greed's head against them.

Monique stood behind the counter, smoking a cigar as she washed out the last few dishes from the previous night. She looked less than thrilled to see her visitor.

"Can I help ya?"

"Is Greed here?" Envy asked, drawing level with the bar.

"If he is?"

It was infuriating, the way this human showed no fear of it. Envy forced a smile, and replied in a would-be cheerful tone,

"Then tell me which room he's in, and I'll stop bothering you."

"Dunno what kind of establishment you think this is, but I don't give that information out to anyone who asks."

The smile dropped away from Envy's face. "Either you give me a room number, or I break down the door of _every room_ in this place looking for him. And don't," it added, "even think about reaching for that shotgun. It'll only make me mad."

"Room 424." Monique said with a scowl. Greed might be a customer, but he wasn't paying her to be a bodyguard.

"Thanks a bunch." Envy said in the previous saccharine tone, turning and heading towards the stairs, ears pricked all the while for the click of a trigger.

.

Up at room 424, the sound of several voices emanated from within. Two or more female by the sound of it, along with Greed's unmistakable growling baritone. Envy heard them all quite clearly, for the door stood partially open, obstructed in its frame by someone's discarded pants. Sloppy, just like Greed. Then again, why bother with shutting and locking doors, when he carried the ultimate defense around in his own skin? The only vulnerable ones there were the human pets, and what did he care about them?

Envy paused on the threshold, uncharacteristically shy. After letting itself be so stomach-turningly vulnerable with Kimblee, it felt raw. Exposed. And Greed would probably pick up on that too, as damnably perceptive as he was when it came to Envy's weak points. Envy wasn't about to turn tail and run, though. It wanted answers, no matter how much dignity it lost or how many horrible spectacles it had to walk in on.

It took a deep breath, and kicked the door open. It led into a tastefully wallpapered entryway with a bathroom door on one side and a closet on the other. A few more clothes were scattered throughout. Envy continued on to what appeared to be the main room, and that was where Greed was to be found, seated in a hot tub with a female human on either side of him. Envy was thankful for the bubbles which obscured everything from the waist down.

Upon looking around, Envy realized it could have saved itself the trouble of intimidation by simply asking Monique which was her largest and most lavish room. The sitting are itself was bigger than Kimblee's entire apartment, to say nothing of the kitchenette and, further back, a partially obscured bedroom area with a bed that could have fit five people.

"Greed." Envy said with a nod of its head as it came to stand in front of the hot tub, fastidiously ignoring the two females. "Classy as always I see."

"Envy." Greed smirked, intertwining one hand absently in one of the women's hair. "Come to get nailed again?"

"I was considering returning the favor. But right now I only want a word."

"I'm kinda in the middle of something."

"Do I look like I care?"

"Don't ask me to describe what you look like."

Envy wondered of the gritting of its teeth was audible over the rush of the tub's jets.

"Barbs aside, I have questions."

"And I have two ladies in a hot tub."

"When don't you? But fine – you wanna finish up, I will literally be standing. Right. Here." Envy fixed all three of them with its best sour glare. "Have _fun_."

The two women looked at Envy in horror, but Greed was unwilling to back down.

"Think a bit of voyeurism's too much for me, leviathan? I don't mind putting on a show."

"I didn't say I would be in this form. How's that for a show?"

Greed sighed. "Ladies, I hate to say it but it seems we need to take a break for a while."

They seemed glad enough to go at that point. Envy turned away, more in distaste of their nudity than for the sake of their feminine modesty. When they had wrapped themselves in bathrobes and towels and departed through a door which seemed to lead to an adjoining room, Greed fixed his attention on Envy.

"This had better be important."

"I'll make it quick. Did Kimblee really turn you down for me?"

Envy knew it should have come at it with a little more finesse, but it didn't feel like games for once. It just wanted to get an answer and get out, and leave Greed to his toys.

"What if I don't tell you?"

Apparently Greed was up for game-playing though, perhaps as revenge for Envy interrupting his other kind of play.

"Then I will assume there's something you're hiding, meaning he was lying and you were behind it."

"What if I've decided I wanted him instead, and I'm deliberately cock bl - getting in your way?"

"Then you should know better to let me leave here thinking he lied to me, because I would kill him." Envy walked up to the edge of the tub, grabbing a wine bottle balanced thereupon and taking a drink.

"What if I'd rather see him dead than with you? What if I decided this will be my first lie? I _can_ at any time you know, I simply choose not to."

"You hate me that much?" Envy contemplated emptying the rest of the bottle over Greed's head.

"Maybe I loved my cars that much."

"You nailed me to a wall for a week!"

"And I still don't have them back, do I?"

"You deserved it. You deserve that and more, you insufferable asshole!"

"Right back at ya, sweetheart."

"Don't call me that." Envy growled.

"Fine. Envy. What you should ask yourself, before you interrogate me, is how much you're willing to throw away just to spite me."

The question referred to more than just the matter at hand, a good deal more.

"To spite you?" Envy's hands curled into fists. "Is that what you call it, when someone isn't clamoring to be your possession?"

"No. That is what I call it when someone is too wrapped up in their own shit to know a good thing when they see it. Would you kill him because of something I said? If so, you oughtta give up and walk away right now."

"You're a fine one to give advice on relationships."

"Take it or leave it. On some level, you know I'm right. Probably ignore me anyway though. Never listen to a word I say except the insults."

"That's because you don't say anything else!"

"Regardless, I don't have to be an expert to know that the two of you should work it out on your own." Greed removed a glass of wine from the side of the tub, taking a sip. "You can either trust him or you can't. I don't figure into it."

"Bullshit! You're the one that made that idiotic bet with him for one thing."

Greed choked on his beverage. "You know about that? Fuck, is he still _alive?_"

"He's fine."

"Lust promised not to tell you."

"Gee, it's like she _lied _or something. Guess she's not as 'yours' as you thought she was."

"And you seriously didn't kill him?"

"Didn't do anything to him." Okay, so _that _was a lie, but it was true insofar as that Envy hadn't 'hurt' him… "And if you're really worried about what I'd do to him when I found out, why'd you tell Lust in the first place?"

"I didn't. She asked."

"But…wait, why would she…?"

There was a split-second of confused silence, then, at the same time,

"Pride!"

"He must have been eavesdropping when we bet –" Began Greed,

"And when it seemed like Kimblee and I were getting too friendly, he let something slip to Lust, who asked you –"

"– And promptly told you, and Pride would know you would resort to an act of unprovoked violence –"

"'Unprovoked'? Since fucking when?"

"What, you think it's a crime that the human was interested in you? _I _think it is, but I figured you're smart enough to know luck when you get it."

"I don't call getting bet on like a race horse or a hand of cards lucky."

"Apparently I was wrong then. If you're too stubborn to take him, I will."

"Who says I won't?"

"Please. A guy couldn't pry your legs apart with a crowbar."

"Just my skull."

"Thick as it is."

"I fucking hate you so much."

"What else is new?" He frowned. "Actually, what's new is for Pride to give a shit about who any of us go to bed with. Why the hell would he care enough to sabotage you and Kimblee?"

"He didn't want another sibling falling to disgusting habits I guess." Envy said, shrugging. "Such a considerate big brother, always looking out for us. Fuck, I was stupid not to see it all along. _Go kill the human, Envy_, he says. _Don't be like Lust and Greed, _he says. I should've been waiting for him to try something sneaky!"

There was a moment of silence in which Envy glowered and Greed stared at the glass of wine in his hand without really seeing it.

"He chose you over me." Said Greed, abruptly.

"Pride - ?"

"_Kimblee_, idiot. Now listen closely, because I'll only say this once: he turned me down. Twice, in fact. And it wasn't as though he wasn't interested, either."

Envy just stared. Greed snorted.

"Yeah, I was surprised too. You know I'm not lying when I say you've got a good thing going."

Envy knew no word to describe how it felt, as though a giant hand were using its innards as playdough.

"…Why are you telling me this?" Greed was honest, yes, and he used that truth as a weapon. It was unprecedented for him to tell Envy anything it wanted to hear, anything good.

"Because I'm not like Pride."

"I know." Envy said softly. It was the nicest thing Envy had said to him in several decades.

"For one thing, he doesn't have two women waiting to jump back in the tub with him." He splashed a few drops of water onto Envy. "So get the hell out, unless you still want that show."

Moments of amity could never be allowed last long between them. Neither would know what to do if it did.

"Already on my way."

.

(A/N: Song excerpt is _Chains o' Damnation, _by All the Apparatus, because it reminds me a lot of Greed. Thanks for reading!)


	16. Superbia

(A/N: A bit late, perhaps, but I've concluded that this fic is going to cover the time until Kimblee goes to prison, as I have a few ideas surrounding that sequence of events. There will possibly be a follow-up chapter or two within the manga timeline after his release. No real point aside from that, just letting y'all know what's in store. And the actual romance is going to kick in soon, I swears!)

.

For once, Envy was expecting Pride. From the moment Envy went underground, away from the sight of witnesses and the world above, it counted the seconds until the glaring eyes and sharpened teeth opened in the darkness all around it.

Just because Envy was not taken by surprise did nothing to make it less afraid.

"You should be ashamed to come back here." Pride said, matter-of-factly. "A lesser being disrespected you, played you like rolling dice. I gave you a chance to redeem yourself, and yet in the morning I find him alive and intact. You are a disgrace to your Creator."

Envy was confident it had done the right thing as far as Kimblee went, and yet the words stung deeply.

"I never intended to kill him. He's useful to Father. All I –"

"'Useful to Father'?" Pride scoffed. "You're almost as poor a liar as Greed. Neither logic nor loyalty has ever sufficed to curb your temper before."

"And yet he's still alive, meaning _you _didn't play me - any of us - as well as you thought you could."

That was not entirely true. Greed, Lust and Envy had played out their roles exactly as Pride had intended. The only one Pride had underestimated was Kimblee, not simply in that he had survived Envy's anger, but that he had diffused it, turned it around and made it work in his favor. Nonetheless, it was rare enough that _anyone_ got an upper hand where Pride was concerned that Envy was not above making it into more than it was.

"I don't take any more kindly to being manipulated by an equal than by an inferior being." Envy continued.

All of the eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You are not my equal, Envy. And I was merely steering you away from the follies which Greed and Lust fall prey to."

"Then you misjudged me entirely. I had no interested in…in mating with humans, or any other creature for that matter."

"That's because, until now, none of them have wanted _you_. Perhaps a façade you take on, but nothing of your true self."

Envy's eyes widened, almost imperceptibly. But the subtle reaction was not lost on Pride. All the rows of teeth curled upwards in a grin of infinite fangs.

"Do you think I don't know you, Envy?" Continued Pride, cruel and deliberate. "That I can't see how your mind works better than you can? Greed and Lust might sully themselves with chosen humans, but you would throw yourself into the arms of the lowest creature, so long as they would have you. In your heart of hearts, you see yourself as lowly, and so you become that."

Envy felt nothing but dull numbness in the wake of Pride's words, like a wound before the nervous system has transmitted pain signals to the brain. Was Pride right? Envy wanted to say no, and yet there was that creeping, treacherous doubt. Envy had no argument, no defense of itself. Who could say? What did Envy know of being wanted?

At last, Envy simply said,

"Talking that way, it seems like you would rank me below Kimblee in a hierarchy of beings."

"Your potential is greater than his, but you do not live up to it. You have the potential to surpass any other creature, this is the gift that Father gave you, but you squander it rather than actualize it, as I have done."

The thought of that, of being like Pride, stirred no appeal in Envy. It didn't know much about happiness, but following Pride's advice didn't seem to have much to do with it. However, that did not mean that he was wrong. The truth was not a happy thing, after all. Pride's argument being unpleasant was, if anything, a point in its favor, and Envy couldn't find any way to rebut it.

"…What would you have me do, then?"

"Never speak to that human again. Never think of him again. Empty your heart of him, of Greed, of Lust – of every other creature. Forgo everything but the potential Father gave you. Anything else will only get in the way."

"Why do you care what I do then, if you've severed all attachments? What is it to you?"

"Because we share that potential, that blessing from Father. Indirectly, but even so." A tendril of darkness reached out and touched Envy's face. Most likely meant to threaten, and yet it could almost have been interpreted as tenderness. "It pains me to see the most important thing being thrown away, and for the sake of a _human_, at that."

Envy was rooted to the spot, immobile and torn. Mercy help it, but Envy was a sucker when it came to tokens of affection from family. Even when Envy hated said family, and acts of affection were ambiguous at best. There was a bond between Pride and Envy, and hate only made it stronger. And Envy was so very used to doing what Pride said...

_So the only viable way to be is like him? _A voice in Envy's mind quietly dissented. _Isn't that same argument to be heard from every missionary who's endeavored to waste my time or empty my pocket? _

At times, the persona of its various family members, particularly Greed and Pride, asserted themselves in Envy's mind, like puppets in which its conflicting thoughts were clothed. It was all in Envy's own head of course, the manifestations merely reflected the way Envy's family had influenced its psyche over the course of its long life. It was the proverbial angel-and-devil on the shoulder, although the conflict they represented were not characterized by 'good' influences verses 'evil' ones. Nothing that simple.

This new influence seemed to mirror Kimblee if anyone, that air of detached rationality. It seemed like something he would say.

_There are many different ways to be human, _the dissenting thought continued. _Is that not true of your kind as well? _

The question was genuine. _Were _there different, equally viable principles for homunculi to live by?

Then, realization hit Envy like a ton of very philosophical bricks. Just as Greed was greedy and Gluttony was hungry, Pride equally personified his sin. He could no more tolerate his siblings choosing a different path from his own than Greed could donate to charity. Because Pride, by nature, must be right, must be _superior_. And, Envy supposed, there was a certain kind of virtue in that. In his own terms, Pride was _not _wrong. Just as Greed enjoyed the benefit of his avarice, Pride's sin worked well for him, in the context of their nature. But just as Envy wasn't about to engage in wild orgies with whores or eat everything it could get its hands on, so also was it against Envy's nature to follow Pride's path abstract self-ideation.

"Give up on me, Pride." Envy met…_some _of Pride's eyes. "I think we both know I can't live up to your standards."

"Apparently not." The tendril of darkness lashed out, striking Envy's face like a whip that sliced flesh like soft cheese and scored bone beneath. As Envy's body regenerated, Pride gave his parting remark, "As I said, a disappointment to Father."

Hell, he was probably right. Leave it to Pride, to say the one thing that would always hurt.

.

(A/N: For one thing, expect a delay with the next chapter. I could blame school and work, but the truth is I've got a whole army of plot-bunnies running amok and I need to sort them out.

Also, a few things about my characterization of Envy:

1) Envy is impressionable. Yes, it's never explicitly stated, but something about the nature of a shapeshifter suggests a poor grip of one's own sense of self, and this is backed up by the way Envy apparently never fully understood itself until it was too late.

2) Envy has a layer of dysfunction per family member; each one seems to correspond to a whole host of different issues and psychological pitfalls. Early on, Envy's self-critical thoughts seemed to manifest as things it imagined Greed saying to it, and it just went from there. I wish I could say I planned it this way, but it seems to have played out on its own. I am of the philosophy that characters know who they are and what to do with themselves; the author's job is just to pay attention. As for Kimblee's influence...*shrugs* they've had enough heavy philosophical exchanges for Envy to comprehend Kimblee's way of thinking, as well as taken a lot of what he says to heart. In general, it shows how Envy's paradigm is shifting to including Kimblee as someone of equal importance/influence as Envy's family.

3) Envy is not especially arrogant. Hateful and sadistic, yes - however, just because you hate someone doesn't mean you like _yourself_ any better. If, at its core, Envy is jealous of humans, that precludes the possibility that Envy truely views itself as superior to them. Envy might tell itself it is, but I doubt it really believes it. This lack of arrogance does not make Envy any better of a person; an inferiority complex can drive one to be just as mean and twisted as a superiority complex, perhaps even more so. But there _is _a difference.

Thanks for reading!)


	17. Pandora's Box

For a long time, Envy lay where Pride left it, staring at the darkness until it didn't see it anymore.

This was as close to besting its eldest brother as Envy had ever come. It hadn't cost Pride anything, but he had certainly been wrong. He had failed. And Envy had caught him at the failure, had called him out on it. And he had even left Envy mostly intact.

The victory was not as sweet as it should have been. Because Pride's actions had had unforeseen consequences. No, even more than that: his plan had outright backfired.

Envy had never willingly touched another creature in a sexual way. It had been compelled to do so in the past, when it had sometimes spent years at a time in deep cover. If having sex with someone – a spouse, for instance – was the difference between a successful mission and being found out, what choice was there? Each incident had been unspeakably loathsome, oil to the fire of Envy's hatred towards humans. Having been touched by them, _invaded_ by them…

Left to itself, Envy would never have allowed Kimblee to lay a hand on it. Okay, that hug in the alley had been nice, but that was different. Chaste. Parents could hug their children – or a sister her brother, as in the case of Lust and Envy. But kissing? With tongue? Crawling into his bed, sitting on his lap and – no, no, Envy would never have done any of that under normal circumstances.

Envy would never have done it, and therefore it would never have had to face the realization that it had…liked it. It hadn't been turned on exactly; there were no switches to _turn _on, so to speak. Yet the appeal was undeniable. The memory of being in his arms, the feeling of his mouth on its neck…Envy laid its hand over the spot, as if to hold the sensation down and trap it there.

At first, Envy had been too focused on the idea of revenge to pay attention to its own feelings, and then Envy had been too confused to feel much of anything else. Kimblee had been sincere when he should have been deceitful, forgiving when he should have been angry, and…kind, when Envy barely had any concept of the idea. Its world had been broken apart and reordered as a place where it could actually…actually have a friend, and the ensuing disorientation was a force to be reckoned with.

It was only in the aftermath that Envy was left with a buoyant sense of satisfaction at what had happened between them, sweeter even than having born witness to Pride's utter failure in preventing this very situation. Yes…having fooled around…with a human…was somehow better having one-upped _Pride._

What the hell was wrong with Envy? And what was it going to do now? It would figure that this revelation came not hours after it had insisted, with blunt force and on the threat of violence, that it had no interest in any erotic activity. What a miserable fool. Envy could almost hear Greed laughing, and a coil of snake-like doubt uncoiled inside. What if Kimblee lost patience with its inconsistency? There had never been much margin for error in Envy's life. Mistakes had consequences; never forgotten, let alone forgiven. It was daunting, the thought of admitting to him that it had been wrong. What if he thought less of Envy for it?

And, even if he forgave the mistake, what then? Happily ever after? It didn't seem likely somehow. So many things could go wrong.

_Oh Pride, why couldn't you have just left it alone? _

If nothing else, there was a vast difference between a bit of groping and actually….Envy's stomach twisted unpleasantly at the thought, at the memory. How Envy hated it, being pinned down awkwardly and pierced in such a way. It hurt, for one thing, but the pain wasn't the problem. Pain went away. The shame and revulsion never did. Envy felt it, even now. They would grunt, and sweat their human reek all over, and sometimes whisper disgusting things in 'her' ear. And then finish, and that was the worst part. Feeling their sticky leavings inside, becoming a receptacle for cast-off fluids, like a spittoon or a urinal. And that stuff they left was essentially _humanity_, the raw material thereof, the essence of human weakness and inferiority, and it was _inside of her_.

And yes, Envy could change, not be a 'her' any longer, but that wouldn't remove the pollutant. All she could do was turn her finger into a scythe like Lust's, reach up inside and slice and gouge that most sensitive tissue, until a deluge of blood ran in torrents down her legs, washing out the filth…

_What if I tell him there's a chance, and I don't have the nerve give him what he wants? How much stop-and-go will put up with, before he tells me to go fuck myself, if I won't fuck him already? _

Maybe it would have been better if Envy had never opened this Pandora's Box of sexuality. Yes, it seemed there was potential for pleasure, but also so much pain….

Yet there was no going back, no closing the box. Because Envy knew that if it didn't take him, someone else would. Greed, for starters. Envy would have to watch them together, knowing Greed had something that Envy had wanted; something Envy could have had were it not too cowardly. And even when Greed moved on, how many humans would take his place? Envy couldn't stand the thought of that, of someone else getting his attention, his affection. Just the recollection of what it had been like to kiss him…the thought of him kissing anyone else was abhorrent. That kiss was _Envy's_, damn it, no one else could have it!

And then, the worst thought of all, what if Envy gave itself to him, gave everything, and lost him anyway? What if Envy's everything wasn't enough? That was the often the case for men, would this one be different?

_I would kill him if he betrayed me. I would regret it, but that wouldn't stop me._

Maybe it was best for both of them, in the long run, for Envy to push him away. As it stood, Envy feared it was setting itself up to ruin the only good thing to come its way in a long time. Perhaps less was more in this case. Although a novice at friendship and romance alike, Envy understood that platonic relationships was safer, saner; less charged emotionally and therefore more stable. It should let things stay as they were. Should. But _could_ it?

No. The box was open. Pretending otherwise could be as disastrous as not.

_So this is what infatuation is? _Envy wondered despondently as it lay on the floor. _All the poets and playwrights have it wrong. Being enamored of someone is wanting to beat your head repeatedly against the wall. And here am I, Envy, dithering over it like an adolescent girl.  
><em>

Oh yes, that wall was looking very inviting.


	18. Eisoptrophobia

(A/N: Watch as I try and be tricky with formatting. You'll see. Also, just as a reminder from chapter seven, Envy masquerades as 'Major Neid' when working in Lab Five.)

.

Envy was spared from having to deal the problem of what to do about Kimblee, at least for the time being, due to the more pressing problem of all the work it had neglected during its week-long 'nap' on the wall. Luckily, none of its current duties were of a particularly time-sensitive nature. There had been times in the past where even a few hours of absence might have been a disaster, but those days were behind Envy now. Their control of Amestris was too deep-rooted to require such careful maintenance. Plus, much of the sensitive oversight of government affairs had been handed over to Wrath, along with – in Envy's opinion anyway – an undo amount of authority within the family.

There were bound to be a few tense moments to do with Father's designs in Ishbal, but that wasn't happening quite yet. In the meantime, most of what Envy did involved surveillance. Things were good for the family, and Envy's job was to see that things stayed that way. Dr. Marcoh, for example, required a close watch. He wasn't in a position to defy them, knowing what would happen if he did. However, the tension could manifest itself in more ways than outright rebilion. Envy was a suicide watch where Marcoh was concerned. He would be difficult to replace.

So Envy had invented a little ruse to keep the good doctor alive. Envy knew without understanding, solitary and mistrustful creature that it was, that a human without other humans is usually a dead human. For some reason, social isolation killed them almost as surely as a bullet to the brain. So Envy decided Marcoh needed a bit of 'human' companionship. Envy also happened to know that Marcoh had a longstanding fondness for chess. He had competed in a few tournaments in his college days. From time to time used to invite old friends over for a match, before the stress of his job eroded all personal attachments.

There was a park in which Marcoh liked to walk and feed the birds, after a hard day's work torturing and killing on government orders. Conveniently, said park had several permanent chess tables, made of metal and bolted down to prevent theft. Park-goers could provide their own pieces if they so chose. So, what did the good doctor find one day, but a towheaded, freckled child with a brand-new chess set, puzzling over an instruction book with intense concentration, before moving pieces on both sides in correspondence to what she seemed to be reading. The uncertainty was not feigned; Envy had never had cause to even look at a chess board before that day.

_"Hey mister." She said, dangling one sandal-clad foot off the edge of the chair, the other tucked beneath her. "D'you know about chess?"_

_"I know a thing or two." Marcoh said. So modest. Envy fought not to roll her eyes._

_"My dad got me it for Christmas, but he never has time to teach me. I wanna learn so I can surprise him." _

So, Envy gained chess lessons, and Marcoh gained a reason to live: little Elizabeth Townsend, who's father was always busy, and who's mother was not busy but neglected her daughter anyway, letting her run wild in the park with messy hair and perpetually skinned knees. The childish act left room to be vague, out of ignorance or shyness, as well as allowing for unannounced hiatuses, which could always be explained away with a simple 'I was grounded' or 'we were on vacation'. Elizabeth Townsend was grounded a lot; the recent week-long absence was nothing new.

"I dented my brother's car." Envy said on a whim, when Marcoh asked what mischief she's gotten into this time. Lacking any pre-established backstory, Envy often found itself speaking in allegories to its real life and family.

"You have an older brother?"

"Yeah, I got four. And a really fat hamster. But they're all jerks – my brothers, not the hamster. The hamster is okay, he just eats, mostly."

"What's your hamster's name?"

"My sister calls him Gluttony. He's more hers than mine."

.

Later that evening and on the other side of the city, Envy watched as Leander's wife packed her things and piled the luggage into a friend's truck. Envy had watched their marriage deteriorate ever since Leander had begun to work in Lab Five. Rex Leander was a stoic man, not given to displays of affection or, indeed, much emotion at all. Yet he had become so consumed by the conflict within, between what was ordered of him and what he knew to be right, that he had taken to ignoring his wife entirely, when not lashing out in fits of anger of which she was not the source. Now, it seemed, she had bowed to the inevitable. Her husband was a breaking man, and she was fleeing the destruction before it consumed her too.

Envy recognized what was happening to him, although it did not understand it any better than his wife. It had long ago given up questioning why humans would kill each other so avidly and brutally at times, and at other times treated killing as the worst atrocity.

_Do they know so little of themselves?_

Envy frowned, as it watched Leander return home, his reaction to his wife's absence. Or, rather, his lack of reaction. Just like his lack of reaction towards her worries, her anger, her confusion, her tears, her despair. And now, finally, her surrender.

Even for one whose immortal life has been dedicated to the physical and mental destruction of humans, it was impossible to know the exact breaking point, to predict to a tee just how much anyone could take. It was an imperfect science, but Envy was as much its master as anyone could be. Envy knew humans, even if they didn't know themselves. It knew this one was nearing his end.

.

It was late; long after most humans were at home and asleep, but when it came to work which interested him, Kimblee was as diligent as he was merciless.

They had run through their supply of death row convicts, and now were simply using anyone they could, any person who would not be missed. Drug-addicts were common, as well as the homeless and mentally-ill.

Kimblee had a problem with this. Not with the ethical implications – what did it matter to him, killing one stranger over another? No, his objection was purely utilitarian. These new subjects were less physically sound, even compared to men who had been wasting away in prison cells for years. They often lacked the reserves necessary to handle what was done to them, particularly the process of chimerism, and died even when no error was made on the part of the researchers.

As a result, he was in the process of drafting a request for stronger "test subjects", carefully refraining from referring to them as human. He knew the document would go to 'Major Neid', and from there might go to Father, but on the other hand it might have to go through different channels entirely. He knew the homunculi pulled a lot of strings in the government, but he didn't know how far their control went, and thus preferred to err on the side of caution.

Focusing on his job was also a good alternative brooding over Envy, which was becoming disturbingly habitual as of late. He must have been focusing a bit too hard, however, for he didn't realize he was not alone until he felt a hand on his shoulder -

.

Kimblee was leaning low over the table, pen busily scratching across a piece of paper. He seemed not to notice Leander's presence, so preoccupied with what he was doing. Knowing him, that meant it was something horrible.

Leander silently picked up a scalpel from another table. Its blade was crusted with blood, but it looked sharp nonetheless. He gripped it like a talisman, feeling a hint of fear when he thought he was beyond all emotion. That could not stop him now. As though in a dream, he saw his own hand reach out and touch the white-clad shoulder, breaking his concentration.

Kimblee turned, slower than Leander expected – or maybe things just slowed down in moments when life and death hang in the balance. Light blue eyes widened in shock before Leander plunged the knife into the left one, burying it to the hilt in the soft, liquid-filled tissue; driving through the eye socket and deep into the brain beneath. Kimblee never even screamed, just went limp and fell to the ground in a heap. After so long, it was almost anticlimactic.

"I don't care if they kill me for this." Leander said, standing over Kimblee's crumpled form, although he knew the man was dead and could not hear him. "It'll be worth it, if I take you down with me, you fucking psychopath."

He might have lost everything, his love for his country, his wife, the will to live itself, but at least he would die knowing he had done one good –

The corpse giggled, in a blood-chillingly high-pitched voice. None of the horrors of Lab Five could have prepared Leander for it.

The. Corpse. Giggled.

Then, "You humans are so predictable."

Leander watched, frozen, as Kimblee got to his feet, only that voice wasn't Kimblee's. His face, as he grinned at Leander, wasn't his at all, but changing in waves into…

"M-Major Neid…"

And in such an outfit…

"Among others." Envy pulled the knife out of its eye with little more than a wince. "And if you're going to attack the Red Lotus Alchemist, it's really stupid not take out his hands first. Here, I'll show ya –"

With inhuman speed and strength Envy lunged at Leander and pinned him against the far wall. It yanked both his hands up over his head, and jammed the scalpel through both palms and into the wall beneath, pinning him.

"You filth." Envy growled as Leander screamed and grunted, all traces of a smile gone from its face. "I'll take you apart piece by piece and send you home to your family. Wouldn't you like that, getting to go home?"

"No need to get personal, Invidia." Said Kimblee, stepping out from where he had stood behind a shelf of lab supplies, out of sight but hearing everything.

"He just tried to kill you!"

"And failed spectacularly. Otherwise I might be more upset, but we're short on human subjects, and he's better suited than the vagrants and drug-addicts we've been forced to use lately."

Envy scowled. "I wanted to kill him."

Kimblee held up his hands. "I'm not saying you can't. Just don't do it on my account."

Envy looked between Leander and Kimblee, then shrugged. "Let him die as part of a stone I guess, or as a botched chimera. Both are bound to hurt a lot."

"Especially the chimera option, even if it's successful."

"Let that be my vote then." Envy walked over to a set of drawers and began rummaging around. "Where the hell is the morphine? We'll need to gentle him down before we fix him up and stick him in a cage. Damn it, you guys never put things back in the right places."

"Let me take care of him." Kimblee said, locating the sought-after drug in a cupboard. "I think we can agree I owe it to him."

.

_Kimblee turned, experiencing a moment of eisoptrophobic shock as he turned to meet his own eyes, and find his own hand on his shoulder._

_"Invidia…" he began, one hand over his suddenly racing heart, "may I ask you not to do that _ever_ again?"_

_"Temporary measures." Envy said, adding to the disorienting effect by not altering its voice._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Remember that prediction I made about Leander?" Envy gave a wicked grin, not at all out of place on Kimblee's features, as footsteps were heard in the hallway outside. "We're about to see how right I was."_

.

"I doubt you'll even regain full use of your hands." Kimblee said, as he went about cleaning and binding the holes therein. "On the bright side, however, you probably won't have to live with impaired dexterity for very long."

"…I'm in hell." Leander muttered, too drugged to be capable of true anger, or even much along the lines of coherent thought. "This is my punishment for doing what I did…for not trying to stop it sooner…"

"Hell? Invidia told me you were an atheist." Kimblee said, more to himself than Leander. "Shame, I liked that about you. But if this is a deathbed conversion, feel assured you'll get a place in heaven for your attempt to kill me, even if it came too late and wasn't successful. If God exists, I'm sure he's learned to take what he can get, from us."

.

(A/N: I think Envy feels a sadistic, fucked-up attachment to Dr. Marcoh, the way it seems to take such glee in tormenting him. Where Marcoh is concerned, I see Envy as being like a psychotic dog. It might bite you when you move too suddenly, or because it thinks it's fun, or for no reason at all, but its tail still wags when it sees you. And, if you will, a moment of silence for Leander. Who knows how many lives would have been spared, had he succeed? Unfortunately for him, I have no interest in writing about heroes. Thanks for reading!)


	19. Corrupting a Sin

_Two days_, Envy mused. _Greed nails me to the wall, intending to leave me there for who knows how long. Approximately one week later, Pride takes me off the wall, as though he is redecorating and has decided that the dead-sibling-full-of-spikes motif is a bit passé. Awkward shit happens, and then I go back to work. A day passes, a night passes, another day passes, night comes again, and Leander tries – and technically succeeds – in killing me, thinking I am Zolf Kimblee. _

Two days is not a long time to most people. But to Envy, at a century and a half of age, two days is the blink of an eye. That was the difference between life and death for a human, and Kimblee was no exception. Envy had forgotten that, or perhaps deliberately ignored it.

Their fragility was definitely the second worst part of falling for a human. The worst part being _falling for a human, damn it_, but it was too late to stop it. If Envy had been harboring any last shred of denial on that note, the incident in the lab had dispelled it.

In the face of that, the thought of his death, the most haunting prospect was the question of what might have been. Envy realized that keeping things as they were between them would not preserve what they had, only waste what they might. The older Envy grew, the more it learned that things never stayed the same, whether you liked it or not. Things _couldn't _stay as they were, Envy could not help that. All it could do was try to make the changes it wanted.

It was what Father would do…

Envy felt a chill inside when it thought of its Father. What if he objected? Pride certainly had, and his opinions usually lined up with Father's on most points. Lust and Greed entered into sexual relationships with humans with impunity, but this wasn't just any human. This was Father's only loyal State Alchemist. Yes, he pulled the strings of many State Alchemists just like him, but that was a world of difference. True loyalty was beyond worth, as Father reminded them constantly.

If Father had any objection to a liaison between Envy and Kimblee, Pride would use that against both of them to the utmost extent. No, this was too dangerous already to take any chances. If Envy was going to even explore the possibility of being with him, the very least it could do was ensure nothing horrible happened to either of them as a result. It was complicated enough without that.

With that thought in mind, Envy knelt before Father's chair, preparing itself for the most humiliating and possibly painful interaction it had ever had with its parent.

"Speak." Father commanded, not looking up from the book he was perusing.

"I want your permission to…" Envy bit its lip nervously. This was the single most awkward moment of its life. "To take a…"

"A human lover." Father finished for Envy, slightly annoyed. "Do you think I'm unaware?"

"No, sir."

"Have you ever known me to interfere with Greed and Lust in such pursuits?"

"No, sir."

"Then why ask?"

"…I felt it best to take your opinion into account."

Father sighed, not looking up from what he was reading.

"I would rather you had not brought this to my attention. If you want my _opinion_, I find the very concept of my children coupling with inferior beings…disgusting. But if it's my permission you want, you have it. Lie with pigs and sheep for all the difference it makes to me."

Being forbidden would almost have been better. Envy turned and left, seeking out the one person who, all misgivings and doubt aside, would at least care if Envy were to copulate with farm animals.

.

A short while later, Envy stood in front of Kimblee's door, staring at it as though it had answers it was deliberately withholding. In reality, it was paralyzed with uncertainty concerning what would happen when it walked through that door, that alluring and terrifying world of possibilities it had, thus far, been willing to leave unexplored. Yes, Envy had wanted freedom to do this, but that did not make it easy.

_When exactly did I become such a wimp? _

Driven less by courage than disgust at its own hesitation, Envy raised its hand to knock – only to have the door pulled open from the inside, and it found itself face-to-face with the center of this whole dilemma just a _bit _sooner than it would have liked. Its insides squirmed, as if trying to escape the whole ridiculous situation even if Envy itself refused to do so.

"Hello." Kimblee said, by now so used to Envy turning up at odd times that he thought nothing of it.

"Hi…uh, can you…go back inside?"

"…Alright." He looked perplexed, but did as asked.

_Well, this is off to worst start possible. Fuck it, too late to back out now. _

Envy cursed its life, and then knocked.

"Ah, Invidia." Kimblee said, opening the door again. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Hey, are you busy?"

"No."

"Really? Not about to go out…?"

"No."

"...Come on, seriously."

"I _was_ considering going for a walk, but that can wait. Come in."

Envy stepped over the threshold with the stomach-turning mixture of nerves and vertigo more appropriate to walking the plank then walking through someone's door. So many thoughts were raging war inside Envy's mind it was rendered immobile in the clash. It was not at a loss for things to say, simply unable to decide which to say first.

"I was rather hoping I'd see you soon." Kimblee said, unknowingly saving Envy the considerable effort of breaking the ice.

"You were?"

"You sound surprised."

"I mean…why?"

"Oh, just this minor detail of saving my life recently. Obviously I can't offer equal exchange, as your life isn't in peril for me to save, but I'd like to offer something, just as a token of gratitude."

"Offer me what?"

"Whatever you want."

Envy was at a loss for how to respond. Gestures of appreciation were entirely outside its realm of experience. Family members sometimes grudgingly acknowledged debt to each other, and the one who was owed never failed to milk that debt for all it was worth. And yet when gratitude was offered up freely, Envy didn't know what to make of it.

"I…it was nothing. Just one death, I have plenty more where that came from."

"Regardless of what it did or didn't cost you, it was worth quite a lot to me. Besides," he reached out and laid his hand against the side of Envy's face. With his thumb, he traced the path where blood had flowed from the sin's eye. "I'm no stranger to injury, and yet I can only imagine how much that must have hurt. So don't say it was nothing. That's unfair to both of us."

This was just Envy's day to be rendered speechless. It leaned into the touch, placing its hand over Kimblee's to assure it remained. How strange, to have its pain acknowledged. And at his touch, somehow the warring thoughts in Envy's mind were quieted. Suddenly things didn't seem so complicated after all, although maybe that was simply Envy's IQ dropping through the floorboards. It supposed it was not the first to discover that infatuation made one's head rather empty.

"If you want to do something for me, close your eyes."

Kimblee was at once consumed with a deep sense of foreboding, but there was nothing for it. He did as Envy asked. And Envy, just a bit braver for not having an audience, leaned up and pressed its lips to his.

"I was…I was wrong." Envy said, pulling away quickly as its nerve failed it. Those words were like tacks in its mouth, but they had to be said. "I was mistaken about…a lot of things. So give me another chance, okay?"

"May I open my eyes now?"

"Wh – oh right. Yes."

He did so, then stepped forward and enfolded Envy in his arms.

"I would give you another chance." He said, stroking Envy's coarse, wiry hair. "But you haven't lost your first."

Envy felt the tension go out of it like air from a punctured balloon, and it melted against him, resting its head on his shoulder. It was even better than Envy remembered, feeling him so close, so warm, which paradoxically sent a shiver up Envy's spine. It could get used to this, oh yes.

"And this is real? I'm not supposed to have made another wager concerning you, am I?"

"This is real. I guess this means you won your damn bet. Jerk."

"If I may ask, what changed your mind?"

Envy shrugged. "I just…like to touch you. When we kissed – the first time – even though I wasn't supposed to enjoy it, I did. I've never felt anything but disgust at the touch of another creature. Until you." Envy tightened its hold on him slightly. "I'd hate you for it if I could. And the thought that you might've died gave a sort of...immediacy to the whole thing."

"So I've corrupted you?" He asked with a sly smile.

"You have. Are you proud?"

"Immensely." His grin became a shade more wicked. "Although I've barely begun." He leaned down and kissed Envy once more.

.

(A/N: VALENTINES DAY UPDATE PPL! 'Cause I have nothing else to do *sobs*. No no, I kid, I just wanted to get this one done today. It's simply appropriate. Not sure I like the ending...or non-ending, rather, but I have decided that is a concern for a future chapter! And as far as Father is concerned, he's like an old-fashioned parent with a gay son. He'll accept it, but for the love of Truth, do not talk to him about it! DX Thanks for reading!)


	20. All Kinds Of Strange

(A/N: For those of you who see Envy as male, don't panic. And for those of you who see Envy as female...well, enjoy while you can. What I mean to say is, although I let go of the 'it' pronoun a bit in this chapter, I still intend to keep Envy balanced in terms of gender. It will just be balanced between male and female rather than in an absence of both.)

.

"So…do we…?" Envy glanced in the direction of Kimblee's bedroom.

He regarded the homunculus with slightly raised eyebrows. "Do you want to?"

"I don't know."

"Then no. That's something you ought to be sure of."

"So...what do we do now?"

"We could go out."

"Out where?"

"You know…'out'. Like a date?"

"What would we do?"

"Uh, well traditionally some form of food or beverage is involved, maybe entertainment, like a film or a show…" It was bizarre having to describe it, and his explanation sounded odd even to his own ears. "You've spent time posing as a human," he said, tilting his head slightly. "Don't you know what people do when they're sizing up potential mates?"

"I've imitated certain humans, meaning I act out roles already set. I've never been in a position to choose."

"You are now. What do you want?"

"I want…" Had Envy ever been asked such a thing? "I want to not let go of you." The words came out in a rush, and Envy couldn't meet his eyes. "But that's more of a bedroom thing, as I understand it."

Kimblee had a moment's regret of his gentlemanly decorum, for Envy would be so very easy to take advantage of. A cruel, cold-blooded monster, yes, and also clearly confused and insecure. He was beginning to see that once one moved past the initial risk of death and disembowelment, there was a vulnerability about Envy made all the more conspicuous for its contradiction. With anyone else, he would have used that exposed weakness to his advantage, but Envy was like no one else. Most people were simply weak, good for nothing but to exploit, whereas Envy was a pillar of pure strength...except when it came to him. That fragility in the face of such power evoked in him emotions he thought had died long ago.

"You could sleep with me, and just sleep." He suggested. "If to willingly touch another creature is strange to you, then the logical thing is to let you get used to it."

"You'd do that?"

"You'll find that I sleep on a regular basis. Sleeping next to you isn't exactly a sacrifice."

"Some men would disagree."

"I'm insane, remember? It's only natural they would. Although I'm not accustomed to turning in at…" he glanced at the clock, "seven fifteen on a Friday night. Lets go somewhere for dinner – call it a date or not, whatever you're comfortable with – and then you can come home with me and stay."

Envy was as a talented actor whose role has come suddenly to life. It had done such human-like things before as accompany people to restaurants, yet never as itself. The slight technicality made a dramatic difference. Envy was ill at ease with what should have been a simple thing, having lost the customary script and forced to improvise.

"…I don't have money with me." How strange, to need it.

"I was assuming I'd pay."

"Do you know a place?" How strange, to be eating.

"I've lived in Central for years, I know plenty. Let's go somewhere nice, seeing as neither of us do this sort of thing very often." He kissed Envy once more before gently pulling away and turning towards his bedroom. "I'll change into something more fitting. I assume you're, um…equipped to do the same?"

He had seen Envy's clothes change with its form, and inferred that it had no need to actually shed its garments in favor of ones more appropriate. If only he had a similar ability.

"Yes, my clothes change with me." Envy affirmed. "Things could get complicated otherwise, especially when I assume my true form."

"True." Kimblee said, leaving the door open a crack to allow conversation. "That first night, I never thought to question why you were still clothed after your body changed so drastically."

His words were muffled towards the end, as though spoken through a layer of fabric. Envy could picture him taking his shirt off, and then couldn't _stop _picturing it.

"Maybe you were distracted by the big ugly monster." Envy said with a grimace.

"I was distracted by what I saw which defied reality as I knew it – what some might call a miracle."

"How you flatter me."

"It's simply the truth." The sound of the closet door opening, fabric moving against fabric. "So are your clothes a part of you?" It was the sort of thing he figured he ought to know, as he would presumably be undressing Envy _eventually._

"No, although they are connected, through the red parts on my back and forehead. Father made them from a similar substance as he made me, but with a small fraction of the power and no mind or awareness of its own."

"So…as if you could make clothes from the skin of a cow and somehow keep the skin alive, and control how it grew?"

"Pretty much, although that's a weird way of putting it."

"It's a weird thing to think of, at least to me. The idea of making clothes charged with alchemical powers is…sort of brilliant actually. Probably not worth the price of equal exchange in the case of non-shapeshifters, though."

"I'm not sure it would work for a human in any case." Envy smirked slightly. "You becoming the Fashion Designer Alchemist now?"

"If my work with your people doesn't pan out, it could be something to fall back on."

Although meant in jest, his taste and interest attire was in fact unusual, more commonly associated with the fairer sex. For him, dressing nicely was a privilege rather than an obligation or a chore, growing up in poverty and squalor as he had. He was fond of the tidy precision of his military uniform, and yet, given the choice, his preference was for something more luxuriant.

Envy was more utilitarian when it came to appearance. It opted to be female in this case, the potential for public displays of affection being just slightly more appealing than daunting, and humans were so remarkably particular about that sort of thing between two men. Envy was keenly aware of the unusual anatomy, but reassured herself in the knowledge that she wouldn't be required to do anything with it. Not tonight, not yet.

The shape of her garments became attire acceptable for a lady, similar in shape and style to something Lust might wear. Envy considered giving herself a bosom similar to Lust's, but decided against it. The rest of Envy's body was still very thin and athletic; muscles less pronounced yet still very distinct. It was the body one would expect of a gymnast or ballet dancer. Huge tits seemed unnatural. They also tended to be uncomfortable.

The bedroom door opened, and Envy promptly regretted her minimal endowment. Deep down, Envy never felt very attractive regardless of form, certainly never as appealing as he now looked to her. White was a good color on him. Big boobs might have made the disparity seem less pronounced...

At least she could see nothing in his eyes to suggest he was disappointed. It was gratifying and terrifying, the way his eyes ran up her body as his hands might have wished to, his regard silently betraying something entirely _not_ gentlemanly. Envy had worn appearances which had garnered that reaction from men before, but there had never been anything of Envy's usual form in them. It had never been personal.

"You look lovely." The words themselves were almost an afterthought, sincere yet paling in comparison to the sudden intensity with which he looked at her.

"So do you. I mean, the uh, the male equivalent of that."

He smiled, at much at Envy's obvious unease than the complement.

"Thank you."

He leaned down and kissed her again, and then she regretted her body for a whole different reason because _oh_…

_So this is what attraction is_.

Envy was not quite a stranger to physical desire, but had never felt it so swiftly and strongly towards anyone. She felt light headed and giddy at his touch, with a tingling tension in her stomach and…lower…

If Envy had not had so many horrible experiences with sex, she might have jumped him then and there in the living room. As it was, however, nothing could be that simple. Quick on the heels of desire came anxiety, and shame at her body's reaction. Envy didn't show it though, either the desire or the ensuing aversion. Envy was good at not showing things.

They broke apart, and he held out his hand.

"Shall we?"

.

(A/N: I'm not planning on making Envy's negative experiences a HUGE plot point, or at least not as big a one as they might be. This isn't the story about recovering from sexual abuse, but I didn't feel that I could be true to my vision of Envy's life, and the life of a homunculus in general, otherwise. They _are_ essentially slaves. The series kind of glossed over that. Father would allegedly reward them for their service, but what happened with Greed shows that they never had a choice. And there was a moment with Pride - before Kimblee pwned him - that suggested Father sees them as mere tools for his purpose. This is not my way of redeeming Envy exactly, just a window into one of the ways it became so twisted. I think it had little chance of being any other way. Does that make its guilt less? Eh, who knows? But like I said, this is not the point to the story, merely a subtext, a way in which these monsters might become sympathetic. In any case, thanks for reading!)


	21. Cruel Beauty

(A/N: Okay, I lied, it wasn't quick at all!)

.

Kimblee's taste in restaurants was as extravagant as in attire, although it was nothing new to Envy, who was used to moving within the upper echelons of society as an extension of its duties as a spy and puppet-master. There was generally little to be gained in observing and manipulating the poor, after all.

Lit mostly with candlelight and equipped with a duo of live violinists, the place was nothing if not romantic, and it was that element which made Envy ill at-ease. Although accustomed to human relationships, it had never been involved in the kind which were the focus of whoever Envy was spying on. It was Lust's job to rile their feelings; Envy's was to merely slip into their lives unnoticed, and so romantic gestures were something to avoid. It meant they were paying attention.

She felt a powerful sense of disorientation as she caught a glance at her reflection in the darkened window when they sat down, the bizarre sense of not recognizing one's self as such. Where was all the ugliness? Envy felt like this pretty female was mocking it. She reached out and tugged one of the silk curtains down so as to block out her image.

Perhaps perceiving her unease, Kimblee reached out and enfolded the hand with which she had drawn the curtain in his own. The candle-lit image seemed remote from Envy somehow, their fingers intertwined…surely nothing of this could be real, or if it was it belonged to someone else's life, someone else's reality.

"Is anything the matter?"

Something on the conflict must be showing on her face. How abnormal. If this were a mission, Envy would be botching it.

"No…not exactly."

"Is something _in_exactly the matter?"

She opened her mouth to say no, but then remembered that lying wasn't part of the deal this time. He wanted her, that entailed her honesty, right? _Yeah,_ Envy's thoughts remarked_, in whose fairytale?_ Still, he had asked…

"I…it should be a good thing, being myself. But I just can't make sense of it, my role here, what we're doing."

"Could it be that this is your first date – first _real_ one, in any case – and you're simply nervous for that reason?" With his thumb, he began to rub light circles and figure-eights on the palm of her hand. His fingers were soft, telltale of one who guarded his hands carefully against anything which could mar his transmutation circles.

Envy smiled in spite of herself. "There you go being all logical again."

The conversation was interrupted by a waiter asking what they wanted to drink.

He glanced at her. "Any preference?"

"No, you pick."

What could something like expensive wine mean to a creature like Envy? She felt a little bad, that such a gesture held little significance for her, when it would likely have made any real woman weak in the knees. Lust would no doubt be impressed…

"If you're not comfortable, we don't have to stay." He said after the waiter had departed, picking up where their conversation had left off. It had seemed anti-climactic to simply hang around his apartment once they had made their relationship official, and yet now he wondered if he hadn't rushed the romantic aspect. He failed to remember how unaccustomed Envy was to being treated…well, _human_.

Envy shook her head. "I'm not such a coward, to run away from something new, only…can I ask a question, without seeming rude?"

"Remember who you're with. The ruder the question, the more I'll likely enjoy answering it."

"What do you see, in a place like this? I'm not criticizing it," she added, because what kind of moron gets taken out to such a fancy place and then complains? "I've just never been able to ask before. What makes luxury…significant?"

Envy understood what it took for a human to survive, and knew that at their heart, all the comforts of society followed from this necessity. But this kind of extravagance was so far above and beyond what any creature would need for survival it seemed abstract, almost akin to Greed's meaningless pursuits, except this wasn't utterly crass and tasteless. She half-expected defensiveness, because this, if anything, seemed important to him, but when he answered there was nothing of that.

"I'm afraid I'm not the best person to ask. What I enjoy in luxury isn't typical – either that or I vastly overestimate the morality and stupidity of others."

"I'm asking _you_. I know as much as I care to about the rest of your kind. More than I care to, in fact. So tell me."

"Well, I admire what they do as far as it goes; the aspect of beauty and the status it infers. But there's another side to it which I doubt they see, or perhaps avert their eyes from. This-" he gestured with the hand not holding hers, "-is what wars are fought for, so that the elite might enjoy this. At least, if I've interpreted history correctly. The low are the beasts of burden for the high to use as they will."

Envy's thoughts flashed to Xerxies, the empire ransomed for the immorality of its ruler. Envy smirked. He didn't know how right he was.

"It's the cruelty mingled with beauty which entices me," Kimblee continued. "I don't _enjoy_ it for that reason per se, I'm not so hateful, but I believe that one can only fully admire something when they know its full cost. And this, the excess for a few at the expense of many, is a dear price indeed."

"A cost you've seen both sides of, born into the circumstances you were."

"Exactly. My appreciation is different than most, because my perspective is."

"Do you feel like you've earned it more then the others here, having come from such…_un-_luxurious beginnings?"

Envy was a little afraid of his answer, for she had known so many humans who seemed to believe the world owed them something for their suffering – be it real or imagined – as though happiness was part-and-parcel of existence. It was that entitlement which made Envy's hatred of humans burn like the flames of hell.

"Earned?" One side of his mouth quirked upward, as though she had told a joke. "No, that's the point of luxury – it's beyond what anyone _could_ earn. Or, if one was such a person as deserved it, they would certainly turn it down. But I don't, even knowing the true price behind it. It's an apt case-in-point example of why I'm not a good person."

The distinction between good and bad was as meaningless as wine to Envy, a human thing. Other than that, it was intriguing, looking at all this through his eyes, and blessedly different from Greed's undiscriminating voracity. She could have sat there and listened to him describe this opulence for her, paint the world in this new perspective, indefinitely.

-Could have, if she had still been an 'it'. This body was…problematic. She crossed her legs, trying to ignore the tight, sullen ache that had settled between them. How long had it been, since she'd gotten off as either gender? Years, Envy had lost track of how many. It was easy to forget when one was asexual, but now she felt every damn day of lack with excruciating clarity.

There had been fear before, at the sudden onset of this feeling, and him so close all of the sudden and everything so new. Yet now, seeing him in front of her, with his hand so gentle on her own, talking like they always had…she _wanted _him, and yet was still wary of what that meant. It didn't make the crushing physical imperative any less, though, that apprehension. It made sense. How could humans ever reproduce, if the drive to do so was not strong enough to overwhelm all the reasons not to?

Presently, the wine was delivered, and Envy distracted herself for a moment with that. She assumed it was good, but had no frame of reference.

"What if I'm terrible the first time?" She asked, abruptly. It wasn't the heart of Envy's fear (what if _everything's _terrible the first time?) but it was not far from the mark. As delicate an ego as Envy possessed, the thought of being anything less than ideal was demoralizing. He'd had others, after all, others who he actually wanted. What if they were _better _than Envy? Most people were undoubtedly more practiced...

"You won't be." He needed no clarification.

"I could be." Envy objected.

"No you couldn't."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"_How?_"

"Because I'll be doing everything."

Oh.

That only raised more questions.

"…What will you do?" Envy couldn't say if the flutter in her stomach was nerves or something else entirely…

"I'll kiss you." He leaned forward and did so. "First your mouth. Then here." He ran one finger from just below Envy's ear down to the place where her clavicles met. "Then lower, and lower still, until you tell me to stop. And if you don't…I'll stop after I have you screaming."

Envy's world seemed to wobble on its axis. She thought about how nice his mouth was for kissing, and how nice it might be for…other things, as well. The glass of wine in her hand promptly shattered. He regarded it, then her, with a raised brow.

"I think I'm going insane." She said, delicately dropping the shards of glass from her grip and shaking off drops of the beverage.

"I've often felt the same since I met you."

"You do a remarkable job of not showing it."

"The benefit of being insane from the beginning, I know how to hide it."

"You're not really insane. You know that, right?"

He shrugged. "Sanity is relative."

"Can we go back to your place…and maybe…not sleep?"

"We can go back and do whatever you want." He smirked. "Shall I call for the check?"

"We haven't even ordered food…"

"Do you care?"

"Well no, but don't you?" Food wasn't a _take-it-or-leave-it_ thing for him, after all.

"At the moment, I would abhor anything which kept a table between us."

His fingers tightened on her own, almost to the point of pain. The heat in his words and eyes would have made her nervous before, but now…now it drew her like a suicidal moth. It was a wonder the very atmosphere around them didn't combust.

"Alright. Let's go."

.

(A/N: The way things are going, it seems like they're going to have straight sex first. Which is weird, because I consider myself primarily a slash author, but...that's just the way it's happening, and I can't think of a reason why either of them would prefer one over the other. *Shrugs* If hetero-sex or fem!Envy isn't your thing, just wait for the next chapter ;D Thanks for reading!)


	22. XXXY

(A/N: So...um...heheh...yeah...*hides*)

.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Kimblee pulled Envy into his arms, but it was not the ravishing embrace she had anticipated. He was still being cautious.

"How do you feel?" He asked, rubbing her back lightly. Usually he was not such a patient lover. To his way of thinking, a woman or man either wanted him or they didn't; it was that simple. He wasn't interested in helping them sort things out or coaxing them along - they were both adults for goodness sake, and they should be able to act like it. This was different, though, as Envy clearly had more reason to be uncertain than most. This _was _complicated; Kimblee was both aware of that and willing to expend effort he would not have deemed worthwhile with anyone else. For Envy, he would be patient, excruciating as that might be.

Envy, however, was not very patient at any time for any reason, not when it came to what she wanted. And at the moment, there was no doubt in her mind as to what that was.

She smirked. "I feel overdressed."

She took two steps back from him, leaning against the door through which they had just entered. She slid the straps of the dress off her shoulders and, perhaps having its form altered in order to do so, the whole garment slid down her body like water, pooling on the floor around her feet before she stepped out of it and kicked it to one side. Underneath, she wore a black bra, panties and garter belt holding up her stockings (Envy had merely asked herself what Lust would wear at a time like this).

He felt suddenly light-headed, as blood rushed away from said area. He took a step towards her, but she extended one leg, and with flexibility which thrilled him, pressed one foot against his chest, holding him back.

"Am I beautiful?" She tried to come off as sultry, but there was just something so tenuous in the last word, so melancholy.

"You're Venus incarnate. You could steal your sister's name." He slid one hand up her leg, stepping forward and guiding it around his hip as he pressed himself against her. "Any woman would envy you. Any man would envy me, being with you." He leaned his forehead against hers, so close strands of their hair mingled.

"_Invidia." _He said it so softly it was less a spoken word and more a hot breath on her lips.

She couldn't take it, that teasingly close proximity, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a searing kiss which made her toes curl and fingers dig deep into the fabric of his jacket, before he shrugged it off and tossed it carelessly away.

She reached up and freed his hair from its tie, while his hands explored everywhere, as a sculptor would come to know his masterpiece by touch; the flat plane of her stomach, her back, slipping under her bra and cupping one small, firm breast, kneading gently. She pulled back far enough to yank the impeding garment away before devouring his mouth once more.

His hand slipped downward, grazing the outside of her underwear. She whimpered, the sensations shockingly vivid even through a layer of fabric. In the past, Envy had briefly and rather unsuccessfully explored the female form. It had never been like this…

Encouraged by her responsiveness, he slipped his fingers under the edge of the lacy black material, and felt a smug sense of satisfaction at the wetness which met his fingertips. He probed further, gently parting and exploring the layers of soft slickness.

She groaned, his touch arousing her unbelievably yet doing nothing to sate her. This was torture - pleasurable, but even so. She felt at risk of going mad, and everything he did only made it worse...

"Just fuck me." She whispered through gritted teeth.

He wanted to, and had his self-control been any less he could not have resisted. But he wouldn't allow it, not yet. His lips curled into that Cheshire cat smile which spelled doom for most.

"That's not what I promised, remember? Don't go back on our deal now."

With that, he sank slowly to his knees, kissing a trail down her chest and belly as he did so, until he was on eye-level with her underwear, and the garment simply melted away in his fingers when he tugged at it. The folds of her sex were smooth and pale as a conch shell, glistening with moisture. He hitched her leg up, over his shoulder this time, and with hands snug around her hips to keep her steady, he leaned forward and tasted her.

She gave a keening, almost piteous moan as his warm, sinuous tongue slithered and coiled shamelessly between her legs, finding what his fingers had a moment ago and applying special pressure to that most sensitive pearl of nerve endings and pulsing blood, eliciting an almost cat-like mewl as he began sucking. No one had ever done such a thing, Envy had scarcely even imagined... Oh, it was so good, pleasure deep and strong, promising the release she needed so badly, but now there were other troubles, as her leg trembled, threatening to buckle.

"A-ah, I'm going to fall…"

He squeezed her hips lightly as he pulled back, licking his lips and standing up.

"That's fine. I really didn't intend to fuck you against the door anyway."

Stooping slightly, he lifted her from where she stood (barely) and carried her from the front door and through to the bedroom, as though she were his new bride and this their honeymoon – which it almost was, in a way, or at least as close to such a thing as either of them were likely to get.

As he set her down on the bed, he had to admit the reclining position was more agreeable, for it let him easily place his head at the level of her chest. As much as they both wanted to get off, he couldn't resist this brief diversion. He nuzzled the shallow cleft between her breasts, reaching up and tweaking one nipple to pert attention. Envy jerked slightly at each touch as though electrocuted.

"I-I can make them bigger."

What an odd thing to be offered.

"I love your body just as it is."

"You don't have to say that…"

"Of course I don't have to, but why not?" His tongue lathed the nipple his fingers were not already manipulating. "Why not tell you how I adore you, except that I doubt you believe me?" He sucked on it for a moment, grazing ever-so-lightly with his teeth, taking immense satisfaction in the way she writhed under his ministrations. Mercy, the sounds Envy was making were driving him wild, he wanted more... His hand left her breast and made its way downward once more.

"Perhaps I'll yet convince you." He whispered, before once again lowering his head where his fingers had gone, picking up where he had left off in the other room. And it was even better now, if that were possible, when she could actually relax without risk of toppling over. Tears welled in her eyes at how wonderful it felt, all immortal dignity and poise forgotten, lying with legs splayed and moaning so wantonly.

As his mouth continued to work, his hand sought her opening, pushing inward, exploring this uncharted, coveted territory. It was a snug fit, even around two fingers. His sex throbbed in anticipation, aching fiercely to be inside her. He began making scissoring motions with his digits, in preparation for something larger and harder.

With that final bit of stimulation she reached her peak and screamed as he had boasted she would, and a new welling of moisture dampened his fingers. When her climax had expended itself, he pulled back and began removing his own clothes. She leaned forward and assisted in this, reveling in each layer of ivory-hued silk as it was pulled away, revealing a different kind of silk, of ivory. His skin was easily as soft as any woman's, and in the moonlight from the window was almost luminous. She yanked him down on top of her, wanting to feel him against her, feel him everywhere.

"Please…" She whispered huskily against his ear.

"Please, what?"

"You know what."

"I do." He placed an open-mouthed kiss on her neck. "But I want to hear you say it. Nothing would be better."

Envy swallowed. Hell, what was there to be embarrassed about?

"I want you in me. Want to feel you, down to the last centimeter, so deep I can taste it." Envy was vaguely surprised in whatever section of brain which still worked- where the hell had_ that_ come from?

He could almost have come just from that. To have cold, mistrustful, _lethal _Envy begging for his cock...he hadn't been lying, nothing could be better. Not feeling he could wait a moment more now, he lined himself up, pressing the head of his manhood against her opening. She tensed at the sudden contact in spite of herself, reflexively defensive.

"Shh, you need to relax now." He claimed her mouth in another kiss. It soothed her, and she offered no more resistance as he slid inside. He moaned against her mouth, she was so _tight _around him. Shoulders quivering with barely checked tension and breath heavy, his eyes were nonetheless still clear as he broke the kiss and looked down at her. "May I?"

"Fuck me, Red Lotus Alchemist." She wrapped her legs around his waist. "That's an order."

He began to move, slowly at first but building to a breakneck pace. He was not trying to inflict pain, but also not holding anything back. He _couldn't. _Envy had no objection anymore, the motion and friction setting off sparks inside her, and she cried out as she crescendoed into another peak.

Her subtle tightening around him, the slight pain of her nails as they dug into his bare skin and most of all her voice raised in pleasure...was too much, too good...

"_Oh Invidia_...!" He groaned into the crook of her neck as his own climax overwhelmed him, so intense it left him slightly dizzy in the aftermath. As far as explosions went, that one would have fractured the very bedrock.

Mercifully, the hot surge of his orgasm didn't disgust her - the essence of humanity, yes, but it was _his _humanity, the raw material of all that he was, all that might follow from him. The seed could not grow, but if it did it would lead to children with his characteristics, his looks, mannerisms and perhaps even personality traits. There was nothing at all which Envy found repulsive about that.

She was overwhelmed, however, by a maelstrom of emotions, forceful as a hurricane and keen as a razor's edge. The feelings of one who has lived for centuries as a thing, a weapon, a tool for the designs of another, for the first time treated as a living creature. Envy was not introspective enough to recognize this, to perceive this truth about her existence. Envy's worst sin was not itself, but blindness. That was the toll, the price Envy had paid to keep on existing. True self-knowledge would remain, secret, inside of Envy until its dying day.

"Hold onto me for a while, okay?" She whispered, voice unsteady as she was. It felt as though she would come apart if he were not there to hold her together.

"Of course." He tightened his hold around her, more than happy to keep her close.

She wanted to sustain this moment where there was no space between them, but her eyes burned with the poignancy of all she felt, and hard as she tried to hold it in, the smallest sob escaped her. She pulled away, embarrassed, swiping at her eyes impatiently.

"Sorry..." How unlike Envy, to apologize for anything, but Envy didn't feel at all like any form of her or his or itself.

"Don't apologize." He pulled her back into his arms. "Unless, of course, you're crying because it was that terrible; in which case you might've mentioned something sooner."

She laughed, in spite of everything. "No, no, it was wonderful. I don't know why I'm being all weird."

The tears had stopped, as the moment of painful almost-clarity slipped away, and yet she still felt awkward for it. Who really wanted their partner to dissolve into a puddle of sappiness after the fact?

"You're not being weird. And even if you were, it's a little late to be self-conscious." He leaned his forehead against hers, so close that Envy's world was reduced to his eyes. "Don't ever apologize. I want all of you, tears included." He was not one to be satisfied with only nice and pleasant things. After all, he had been so charmed when Envy had attempted to kill him.

Envy shivered. "You sound like..."

"I am Greedy when it comes to you."

For a moment tears threatened again. She closed her eyes and kissed him instead.

.

(A/N: Yaoi next time. I'm not too experienced writing sex scenes, so this was good practice. Thanks for reading!)


	23. XYXY

"Can we go again?"

"Certainly." Kimblee was feeling about ready for a second round himself. He hesitated, then, "Would you care to try it as a male this time?"

It had to be the oddest proposition he'd ever made. Like most humans, he regarded gender as something indispensable to one's self, a cornerstone of identity. It seemed callous, in spite of everything, to request that it change at whim. Yet if Envy was offended by it, there was no way to tell.

"Do you want me to be really masculine?"

"I want you to look and feel like you normally do, only…"

"Fuckable?"

"I was going to say 'gendered', but essentially yes."

It felt as though a very slight electric current ran up Envy's skin, with a few stray sparks of red alchemical aura as breasts vanished, shoulders became slightly broader and muscles more pronounced. There was again the feeling of insecurity, for although Envy was slightly more accustomed to male sexuality, everything was just…out there, in this form, shamelessly betraying his desire. And now there was someone here to see. Two people, in a sense, for Envy wasn't used to seeing its own form as male, typically assuming the form of another person, like Greed or…Kimblee himself. Envy decided he would _never_ tell Kimblee about that.

Luckily, the first thing he did wasn't to try and grope Envy, merely to kiss him, languidly and unhurriedly. One hand buried itself in Envy's hair, which seemed to have changed too at some point; it was softer now and smooth, flowing like a river of ink across white sheets and alabaster skin.

"Does gender really matter?" Envy asked, pulling away slightly, dark eyes puzzled and almost childlike in this rare naïveté. "I mean, I'm the same person and I look almost the same."

"It does matter. I'm not sure why, but it does." He brushed a stray strand of hair out of Envy's face. "Some people have to have one; some have to have the other. I've never been content without both."

"Is that why you're with me?" Envy asked, brows furrowed.

"No. Were you only male or only female I would have pursed you just the same. But it's why I don't want anyone else."

It was exactly what Envy had wanted to hear without knowing it. Wasn't he essentially saying that Envy was the only one for him? Better, because Envy never would have believed it had there not been a definite reason behind the sentiment. Envy kissed him with renewed ardor, pulling him closer and wrapping arms and legs around him, all self-consciousness forgotten.

Kimblee gave a sound that was half moan, half sigh, shifting so he lay on top of Envy rather than beside him. His mouth roamed from Envy's mouth to the line of his jaw and down his neck, making the sin squirm. How sweet it was, being fully satisfied in the arms of one person, without having to regret what he was giving up in exchange for what he had.

He pulled back, so that his hair hung like dark vines around both their faces. Something in his ice-blue eyes made Envy shiver.

"May I…tie you up?"

Envy looked at him uneasily. "I'm...not a masochist."

"I don't have to hurt you." Kimblee said quickly. "I'm not interested in doing anything to you that you don't like. And while I think pain _can _be erotic, it's control that's truly…exciting."

With anyone else or at any other time, Envy's answer would have been a prompt and vehement _hell fucking no_, and yet…everything had gone so well thus far…. If it was an issue of control, Envy didn't mind giving that up. In his eyes he had done so already.

"You really don't want to hurt me?" Envy asked. That was the odd part, not that Kimblee had a control fetish, but that it went only that far.

"Why would I? I have no qualms about hurting people for a living – it can be rewarding, but I don't find it sexually gratifying."

"You enjoy having power over them, though. How is that different?"

"It's different because you're different. When I see you lying here, I want…ah, god, I want everything," he nuzzled the shell of Envy's ear, whispering into it, "over and over, I want to give you every kind of pleasure imaginable, tie you up and spread you out and wrap you around me like python, kiss every inch of you, fuck you until you can't think straight or see or feel anything but me."

He nipped Envy's earlobe, slightly breathless in the thrall of his own desire, before raising up and looking him in the eye once more. "Needless to say, that does not describe my outlook towards most people."

Envy didn't have any objection to _that_, although he had a slight objection to said lack of objection. Nonetheless, he wordlessly raised his hands over his head, one thin wrist over the other.

Kimblee, not being an artist of the conventional sort, nonetheless wished he could have somehow captured the look in Envy's eyes, they way they seemed to say, _do what you want_, slightly uncertain but still so deliciously _willing_. It was that surrender which he wanted - the affirmation that Envy in all his inhuman power and strength, was finally his to do as he pleased with - which made his blood boil. Not wanting to waste anymore time, he brought his hands together and then pressed his palms against the wall, orienting himself to the building's materials: fiberglass, wood, plaster, steel – yes, that was what he wanted. He focused on drawing it outward into a linked chain and two larger loops which encircled Envy's wrists, loose enough not to disrupt circulation, but only just.

Solid metal was too much even for Envy to break free of. The only way to get out would be to transform, and the thought of that in the current situation was just too horrible. Envy was sensitive about altering his form – even reshaping his hands into something narrow enough to escape the restraints was still grotesque to him, almost as bad as forsaking his current form altogether.

"Do I need a safety word?"

"Um, 'please untie me'?"

"That's more of a safety sentence…"

Kimblee grinned. "_'_Untie me immediately, human, or my revenge will be slow and painful'?"

Envy laughed. "Nah, I'd make it quick."

"Because you like me?"

"Because I like the element of surprise."

"You're sweet."

"Yeah, I'm a little darling."

"Careful." He lay down once more, nuzzling the crook of Envy's neck. "I might decide you need a bit of discipline after all."

Envy yelped as Kimblee bit down rather hard, then licked the spot as though in contrition.

"And if I'm good?"

"Then I'll be very nice."

He ran one hand down, exploring the newly unfamiliar terrain. His touch was firmer, more to-the-point than before. While he was confident enough with the female body, there was no substitute for subjective understanding. With women, it was a matter of experimenting to discover what they liked, but with a cock in his hand, he was relatively sure he knew how it worked.

Envy moaned softly, relaxing into the sensations as Kimblee rhythmically stroked his erection, while continuing to kiss and nuzzle his neck. This wasn't bad at all. It was like being spoiled, really, not having to worry what was expected or if he was doing something wrong, just lying back and being taken care of. Technically this stimulation was nothing new, yet there was a stark difference. What he did for himself had ceased to be anything but a chore decades ago. He would have indulged in gender more frequently, if it felt like _this_…. He moaned again, more insistently this time, arching into the caress, wanting only more…

Kimblee found it endlessly satisfying, the way Envy responded to his slightest touch so dramatically, obviously inexperienced and easily overwhelmed. He did in fact intend to give Envy more, but less _was_ more at the moment, and he took his hand away, smirking at the bereft little sound Envy made at the cessation.

"Don't stop."

"Patience, I'll give you something better."

He began to kiss a line downwards, exploring the flat, muscular chest as thoroughly as he had the soft, contoured version, and downwards, over starkly exposed ribs. Envy made a thin female, but in the absence of even minimal curves he became almost waif-like, wiry muscle being the only thing which saved him from the look of severe malnourishment. Kimblee made a mental note to try and get Envy to eat more, although he wasn't sure it would make any difference. Meanwhile, on to more pressing issues…

He took a moment to enjoy the effect of this slow buildup. Envy was so delicious this way, trembling in anticipation, breath heavy, tense as a drawn bowstring. It had to be excruciating for Envy, Kimblee reflected, living for so long with only what he could give himself, and now to have something infinitely sweeter so close and yet still just out of reach. It appealed to the sadist in him. While he was content not to cause Envy pain in the traditional sense, he could not withstand the temptation to torture him in other ways.

He leaned down and exhaled hot breath on the tip of Envy's arousal, and then strayed to one side, licking one sharp hipbone as Envy might have wished he would lick something else, while his fingers lazily explored the soft skin of Envy's inner thigh, with one finger tracing the circular shape of the Ourobros mark.

Envy made a wordless sound of protest, tugging ineffectually at the iron restraints.

"This is revenge for the other night isn't it?" He asked, breathless.

"No." He nuzzled Envy's thigh. "This is me being a nice sadist." Damn, he loved those legs. He decided they would be up over his shoulders next time around. "But since you've been so good…" He left the sentence unfinished. There were better things to be done with his mouth, like swallow Envy's cock almost down to the base and suck.

"Ah…!" Kimblee's hot, wet mouth was heaven around Envy's aching hardness. It was not necessarily better to be pleasured this way as a male rather than a female, but the sensations were more direct, more accessible. Whereas before it had taken a while for Envy to even feel the possibility of release, now he was already getting close.

Inferring this from the sounds he was making, Kimblee pulled back and left Envy reeling. He encircled the base of Envy's member with his thumb and forefinger, inhibiting his ability to ejaculate.

"Ngh…bastard…" Envy panted. "Said...you were being nice…"

"Why, I'm just letting you enjoy yourself a bit longer."

Envy gave some odd sound that was half growl, half whimper.

Kimblee began teasing once more, licking Envy's weeping slit before swirling his tongue around the head, licking down to where his fingers gripped and then back up. He would have tormented Envy further, perhaps, but he was becoming uncomfortable himself now, his own arousal increasingly difficult to ignore. Envy's need only intensified his own, reminding him how badly he wanted the same done to him.

With that in mind, he enveloped Envy once more; sucking and sliding his mouth down and back up his length, while at the same time releasing his restraining grip.

Envy had a moment of disjointed, irrational fear that his body might break at he plummeted over the edge, surely it hadn't been made to feel this –

He screamed for the second time that night, as he spiraled up into heights of pleasure he had never known existed.

Kimblee grinned as he sat up and regarded Envy in the throes of post-orgasmic bliss. That glassy, shell-shocked look was the most adorable thing he'd seen in a while.

"You should let me out of this." Envy said, when he had recovered enough to think clearly again.

"Why would I do that, when I have you right where I want you?"

Envy made no response to this except to lick his lips…with a tongue that had become forked and very long. He was going beyond his comfort level in this, but he assumed the effort would be appreciated.

Kimblee's thoughts seemed to skip like a needle on a damaged record when he saw that, for a moment his mind was an absolute blank.

"I actually hadn't counted on that…"

"You scared?" Envy asked, with an arched brow.

"_No_."

He would be slightly baffled, later, that Envy could talk so well with a forked, lengthened tongue, but at the moment he had no attention to spare for trivial details. He quickly unmade the restraints, and no sooner was Envy free than he pushed Kimblee onto his back, plundering his mouth and nipping his lower lip. If Kimblee disliked this sudden role reversal he didn't show it, burying his hands in Envy's hair as it cascaded over both their bodies and returning the kiss with every measure of enthusiasm.

Envy broke the kiss quickly, turning his attention to his partner's body, a whole landscape of nuance which demanded immediate exploration.

The homunculus imitated other creatures by sight, and as Envy's eyes were keen, it was enough to create a passable facsimile. But now, he had to admit there was a lot more to a body than just to look at it. He felt himself becoming aroused once more, as his mouth and fingers traversed the lithe, well-toned musculature telltale both of Kimblee's soldier's life and mixed heritage. Although masculine and tall, there was a subtle refinement to his build that Envy rarely saw in frames of Amestrian men, just a trace of delicacy which made him all the more appealing to Envy's taste. He struggled with his sin for a moment, for it seemed unfair that this human had such loveliness so naturally, whereas Envy's beauty felt so painfully false. His sister's sin was more pressing than his own, however, and he dove lower, to the part of Kimblee that he was most anxious to explore, swiping his now dripping tip, before taking a deep breath and enveloping him fully.

"Mmmm…" Kimblee's eyelids flickered as Envy slowly began to bob his head. He entwined his fingers in Envy's hair, rubbing appreciatively. Mercy, Envy's mouth felt _so_ good…Kimblee thought for a moment that Envy's teeth were gone, then realized they had simply become smooth as porcelain. His eyes shot open again as Envy's tongue snaked out, coiling sinuously around his shaft, sliding and squeezing like a boa constrictor. Envy wasn't the only one overwhelmed with novel sensations that night, that much was certain. It was better than anyone had ever given him, both in the anatomical difference and the simple fact that it was Envy doing it. He bit his lip and moved one hand from Envy's hair, digging his fingers into the sheets until his knuckles were white. He wanted this euphoria to last longer, but that demon's mouth undid him, crumbling the last of his careful control to dust. In the end he could do nothing but surrender as willingly and totally as Envy had to him.

"Ahh…ah, I'm almost –" He gave a cry to rival Envy's, as pleasure even deeper and sweeter than the first time consumed him. Envy continued to suck and, finally, swallowed. After letting him come inside of Envy as a female, it was not daunting.

Licking a stray drop of white fluid with a tongue that had reverted to normal, Envy lay down next to Kimblee.

"Pretty good for a novice, yes?" Envy asked with a sly smile, tucking a lock of Kimblee's sweat-damp hair behind his ear.

"Let me put it this way" Kimblee said, pulling Envy against him, "I hope you're fond of me, because you'll never be rid of me now. You've quite spoiled me for anyone who can't do that with their mouth."

Envy realized with gleeful smugness that Kimblee's hand's were actually shaking slightly in the aftermath. Hell yes.

"My my." Kimblee purred, as their bodies melded together once more and he noticed Envy's fresh hard-on. He supposed he could expect nothing less from an ever-youthful superhuman with decades of pent-up libido. He raised his right hand - steadier now - to Envy's mouth. "Get it wet."

Envy did so, eagerly, tracing each shape of the transmutation tattoo before mouthing each finger as he had another appendage moments ago. When satisfied his digits were sufficiently lubricated, Kimblee began working Envy's manhood once more, alternating between light, almost ticklish caresses and vigorous pumping. It wasn't long before Envy was moaning again, spilling himself into the alchemist's skilled hand. He smiled lasciviously at Envy, lapping at the pearlescent liquid on his fingers.

"Don't…" Envy whined, "Stop being so damn sexy, I'll never calm down."

"I'll rub you til you're raw if you need me to."

"My skin would only regenerate…"

"Then until my hand is raw. And then I'll use my mouth. We'll see how long it takes for you to run dry."

Envy shook his head. "Even once more and I think I'd blow a fuse."

"Don't hold back. I want to satisfy you entirely."

"You have." Envy draped his arms languorously over Kimblee's shoulders. "You've tired me out. Let's sleep, and do it again tomorrow."

"That a promise?"

"It is." He sighed and stretched, feeling hazy and sleepy and warm. "Hey…"

"Hm?"

"Would you…call me…you know, what you do?"

"Invidia." He murmured, kissing Envy very gently. "Invidia. My Invidia."

.

(A/N: Aggggghhhhh! This took sooooo looooong! Writing smut is haaaaard (no pun intended)! What the hell am I going to do when Greed jumps in there too? Aghagfasdagashd! *froths at mouth*)


	24. Map of Ishbal

Envy awoke with the abruptness of being thrown unexpectedly from complacent, warm comfort into icy water. He knew, even before he felt the sharp pinpricks on his neck and shoulders, that Pride was there. It was all he could do to bite back a cry. Pride was so useful, and so much of his use revolved around secrecy…Envy wouldn't put it past Pride to kill Kimblee on the spot, if he woke up and saw that the darkness now had eyes and teeth. Pride might even blame Envy for it, if he were to do something stupid like scream.

"Rise and shine." Pride's small voice whispered, soft as a breath of wind in the still air, parodying something his 'mother' sometimes said to him.

Envy reflexively curled into his lover's sleeping form, realizing even as he did so how futile it was. Pride scoffed.

"Your pet human going to protect you, Envy? Why not wake him, then. See how brave he is when he sees me."

"What do you want?" Envy whispered.

"To rip him to shreds, mostly. How kind of you to ask."

Envy sat up, then, wearing an altogether braver face than was sincere. Better to turn Pride's attention to himself. Pride might rip Envy to shreds in Kimblee's place, but Envy would recover.

"Father gave me permission. He doesn't like it but he didn't stop me. Now tell me why you're here, unless you just like to watch."

"Mind your tongue."

"Mind your own damn business."

"This _is _my business, much as we both dislike it. Father wanted me to tell you something, but perhaps you'd rather go down and hear it from him yourself, if my presence is so disagreeable."

"You goddamn conniving –"

But suddenly, all traces of Pride were gone.

"Did you say something?"

Envy flinched as Kimblee laid a hand on his back, frozen in a moment of terror at what might happen. But apparently all that ripping-to-shreds business was a bluff, as the darkness was now quite empty. Pride must be good at that, Envy realized, vanishing just before someone opened their eyes to a worse nightmare than they had woken from.

Kimblee was sitting up now, eyes still heavy with sleep but nonetheless concerned. "Were you talking to someone?"

"No." Envy said quickly. "No, I was dreaming."

"Upright with your eyes open?"

"Why not? Some humans move and talk in their sleep." He did not want to tell Kimblee about Pride. Kimblee would want to know, certainly, but what good would the knowledge do him? It would only get him killed, if Pride knew that his secret was compromised.

It was impossible to tell if he was convinced, but he let the subject drop.

"It was a good dream, I assume." He said dryly, drawing the sheet up around Envy's bony shoulders.

"Oh yes, peachy keen." Envy said with a grimace.

"Involving a family member?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

He didn't force the issue, instead pulling Envy back down, under blankets and into his arms. Envy felt calmer then, in spite of everything. It shouldn't have helped, being held – because Pride was right, what difference did it make? – but it did help, regardless. He knew he couldn't give into it, though, nice as it might be to forget that Pride existed. The cost of doing so could be too high.

"I should go." The words didn't have much conviction behind them.

"Why?"

"I…just have a bad feeling, after that dream. I think I ought to go downstairs, see if everything is alright."

"I think you should stay." He tightened his arms around Envy slightly, laying a series of kisses on his forehead and temple. "They'll still be there in the morning."

"You're not making this easy."

"Not trying to."

"Have a little mercy, if you can. It's not like I want to go."

"Ah, if I had a dime for each time mercy was asked of me…" He placed one finger under Envy's jaw, tilting his face upwards so his mouth was accessible. This kiss was not meant to soothe, but to scorch, and Envy's treacherous body responded, pliant and willing as the proverbial putty in Kimblee's hands.

Then he pulled back, loosening his hold around Envy.

"Something to remember me by." Kimblee said, smiling pleasantly.

"Cocktease." Envy muttered, glaring.

"Pot, kettle." He placed one more quick kiss on Envy, who nipped at him. "Don't be like that. I'll make it up to you when you get back."

The cold air was like a slap as Envy pushed the blankets aside and stood, walking into the living room where most of his clothes had fallen. They changed as Envy put them on from the showy formal attire of earlier that evening to their usual shape. He hesitated, and then turned towards the bedroom once more. Might as well say a proper goodbye. Envy might, theoretically, be gone a long time. One never knew.

Kimblee looked younger somehow, sitting there with hair loose and tousled and love-bites dotting his neck, regarding Envy with something that seemed almost like longing. Envy sat down on the mattress next to him.

"With any luck, I'll be back by morning." And with no luck…best to assume he would have some luck.

"Let me come with you then."

"That's…not a good idea."

"Why?"

Envy hesitated, wondering how best to phrase it. "Father allows us to take human lovers if we so choose, but he's not…thrilled, especially in this case."

"Ah, so I'm not popular there at the moment?"

"Don't worry too much about it. Greed and Lust do it and no one bats an eye; it's just that since I've never…. When you get as old as us, you get stuck in your ways, don't exactly welcome change."

"Much like elderly humans in that regard."

"Precisely."

Envy shifted, planting one knee on either side of Kimblee's hips so that Envy was looking down on him for once. Burying his fingers in the alchemist's already tangled hair, Envy tugged his head back and drew him into a long, deep kiss.

"And that's something to remember _me _by." Envy said with a wink, before climbing off him and walking out the door.

.

The chill underground was a cruel contrast to the close warmth in bed. Usually Envy was oblivious to temperature, but that night the coldness seemed to gnaw at his very bones. It went without saying that he was in a bad mood, and running into Greed, with Gluttony in tow, on the way to Father's chamber didn't help matters.

"Evening, Monstrosity." Greed said, regarding Envy with a broad grin.

"Same to you, asshole." Envy shot back, doing his best to act normal.

"And where have you been, so late at night?"

"Crashing your new car."

Gluttony, who had cautiously approached Envy from behind during this exchange, now chose this moment to remark,

"Envy smells tasty like Xingian alchemist."

Greed roared with laughter, not even deterred when Envy kicked Gluttony directly into him, bowling Greed over and sending Gluttony bouncing off him like a pinball. Gluttony scuttled away hurriedly, understanding that Envy was in one of _those_ moods, although having no idea as to why. Why did all his siblings have to be so _complicated? _Except Sloth, but he was around so scarcely.

Greed climbed to his feet, still chuckling, and approached Envy. Envy braced himself for a fight, although Greed didn't seem quite ready to attack. Usually Envy could tell what was going through Greed's mind; they read each other well. But as he stood in front of Envy, grinning, Envy realized he had no idea what Greed was planning on -

In one swift motion, he closed the short distance between them, pulling Envy flush against him. Envy lashed out reflexively, but it was a thoughtless reaction born of shock, and for that reason, perhaps, Greed intercepted the blows easily, catching Envy's fists and pinning his arms behind him. Greed inhaled deeply, burying his face in Envy's hair, the crook of his neck, exhaling in a sigh that turned into a growl.

"God I love that smell." Greed did not possess the keen nose of Gluttony, but all of them were gifted with senses sharper than a human's. That close, it told him everything. And it worked both ways, as Greed's musky, animalistic scent washed over Envy, strong yet somehow not unpleasant. That, combined with his hot breath across Envy's skin, the rough-cut solidity of his muscular physique pressed so close...Envy knew he should be doing something, anything to stop this, and yet... Damn this voracious male sex drive, damn Kimblee for starting something he hadn't been able to finish.

Oh right. Kimblee.

Red sparks blossomed between Greed and Envy, as the latter's body reverted back to its default asexuality. Envy brought one knee slamming up into Greed's unshielded groin.

"What the hell are you doing?" Envy snarled, leaping back several feet as Greed doubled up in agony, although it lasted only for a moment.

"I was thinking maybe you'd loosened up." Greed said, standing up straight once more, still wincing slightly.

"Not_ that_ fucking loose!"

"Apparently not. And still grumpy as ever, I see." He grinned once more. "Didn't he _satisfy _you?"

Envy's fists clenched. "I am not discussing this with you."

"Ah. So no."

"I didn't say that!"

"Now now, you can hardly blame us for being curious." Lust's voice spoke out of the shadows.

"Not you too." Envy said, turning to look at her incredulously as she approached, still maintaining a safe distance.

"Why not?" She smiled. "After all the times you've called me a whore, you can hardly begrudge me a brief _I-told-you-so_."

"I didn't mean it." Envy muttered, eyes averted. "That's really not how I think of you."

Both of them stared at Envy in dead astonishment.

"What?" Envy snapped. "I still maintain that _you're _a whore!" It pointed at Greed.

"It's surreal." Lust said.

"The little monstrosity is all grown up now." Greed said, tracing a tear-streak from his eye.

"Oh hell with both of you!" Envy snapped, turning on it's heel and stalking away.

.

After dousing itself thoroughly in water - the underground labyrinth had several sources thereof, all of them freezing cold unfortunately - Envy took a deep breath and entered Father's chamber. He was not seated on his usual throne, but standing over a wide stone table, laden with maps and the distinctive chess-like figures he used to represent the few humans who were of any import. Potential sacrifices, for the most part.

Father seemed too absorbed in what he was doing to pay Envy much attention, so it sidled up to the far end of the table, examining the spread of papers and sundry clutter in more detail. A shiver ran up its spine that had nothing to do with the disagreeable climate. All the maps were of Ishbal.

_So it's very soon now. _

And then...no more dark. No more hiding. No more world ruled by humans and their narrow ways, their pathetic little lives. Envy felt a swelling of admiration and gratitude towards its Father. So wise, so powerful. He would deliver all of them.

"What is it, Envy?"

Envy jumped slightly, as Father's voice jarred it from its thoughts.

"Pride indicated that you had something to tell me."

Father frowned slightly. "And didn't tell you what it was?"

"More interested in hissing threats in my ear and - "

Father held up one hand. "Pride was merely to inform you that you may disclose the broader details of our plan with the alchemist. By all accounts, he seems to posses altogether less loyalty to his kind than even I might have expected. However, do not share with him any knowledge that I've held secret from Greed."

"Yes sir. Only..."

Father raised a brow. "What?"

"...I assume he'll ask what his fate will be, after the promise-day."

"Meaning _you've_ been wondering. Don't dissemble."

"Either way, what am I to tell him?"

"Tell him that his reward will be in accordance with his service to me."

Envy could have screamed at the vague response, although it would not have helped. Father was big on service based on loyalty rather than reward. Then again, with the power to grant immortality and, soon, to create entire worlds, who wouldn't follow him in hopes of such a reward? Plenty of humans, that was certain. Plenty who did not consider themselves traitors, until the opportunity presented itself.

Envy could think of nothing else, so it bowed quickly and left.

.

Outside, Lust was waiting.

"Come to gloat more?" Envy said as it passed her.

"It was nice of you, to take Kimblee's fate into consideration." Lust said, falling into step with Envy.

"A rare lapse in protocol." Envy didn't want to _be _nice, damn it. It was so much easier not to give a fuck about anyone.

"He treats you well then?" She asked as they passed up the stone corridor.

"I wouldn't put up with it if he didn't." Envy said in a slightly softer voice. "You know that."

"Perhaps." She said with a shrug. Privately, she wasn't so certain. It was the way of all creatures to seek out what was familiar, and in Envy's case that was something a good deal less than tender affection. "Can you really blame me, when I say he strikes me as cruel?"

"No less than me. Isn't it supposed to be a good thing, to have stuff in common?"

"That's the _problem._ Envy, the way I see it, the point of having a lover is to escape the family situation, not perpetuate it. He has plenty in common with all of us, and that's what worries me."

"Really." Envy stopped and swung around to face her. "What about you and Greed, then?"

She closed her eyes briefly, brow furrowed. "Oh don't bring this up again."

"Why not? It seems rather appropriate."

"After all this time, you're still upset?"

"That you chose him over me? Yeah, it stings just a little."

"You were hardly an option! I'll fuck you right here and now if you want, if it means you'll get the hell over it!"

"That's not what I meant. It's not about _fucking_, it's about ownership." It went beyond what Envy could or would put into words, how it had felt to have the closest thing to a mother taken away, and by Greed, no less. To live with the bitter knowledge that, for all the kindness she might show Envy from time to time, she was still _his._

"It wasn't about ownership. Not for me." She looked at Envy, dark eyes pleading, silently asking Envy to understand. "It was about trying to get him to stay."

Envy did understand. It knew what that meant to her, maintaining family bonds, how she hated their constant strife and infighting. It was what made her who she was, the reason behind her kindness towards all of them. Envy was too bitter, though, to acknowledge that. Envy was not and would never be 'nice'.

"Oh well _thanks_. God knows I'd have missed him so much."

Her eyes narrowed, all traces of vulnerability gone. "You would and you know it, you little hypocrite."

"Speaking as the one here who _hasn't _spread my legs for him, I beg to differ." Envy took a step forward, the snake lunging to strike. "That's one thing that can be said about Kimblee, you know - whatever else is true, he prefers _me_. He's the only one who ever has."

She felt pity then, in the face of her anger at Envy's stubborn spite. She understood as well. Born so ugly, so small and weak, to a family that barely had one heart between them. In the end she could never blame Envy - could never blame _any _of them, for being the way they were. That was why she didn't run Envy through with her spears that time. What Envy said wasn't exactly true, but it wasn't exactly not true, either.

"Go back to him then." She sighed, feeling tired. "Although at times I wonder how either of you can stand the other."

As her sibling's footsteps faded into silence, she remained, motionless as a statue. Effectively immortal and destined to inherit the world, it was amazing, she reflected, how one could feel so doomed.

.

(A/N: Ah, so much going on in this chapter, I hope all the family drama wasn't confusing. But yeah, I don't see how Greed and Lust wouldn't have gotten in on at some point in their lives, they're quite suited to each other. And I don't see how Envy wouldn't have been...well, Envious. And I sure don't see Envy getting over it. _Ever_. Because it's Envy. I tried to foreshadow it a little, not sure how well it worked. Also, very soon I'm going to step away from homunculi ensemble drama and shed some light on Kimblee's backstory. Thanks for reading!)


	25. An Uncaring God

(A/N: It's been forever and I'm sorry! Life has been rather shitty for me as of late. Also, this chapter was really hard to write for no real reason. It just seemed like there were just so many directions it could go in...but I think I captured what I wanted. I also had to figure out what the heck Xingians eat for breakfast -_-' Although I think of Xing as basically China, I represent the culture as an amalgamation of various Asian traditions, whatever I happen to know of and/or deem appropriate. Not being an anthropologist, I do the best I can.)

.

It was the cold, grey hour before dawn when Envy finally returned, preferring to leap up to the windowsill and jimmy the window open, rather than enter through the apartment complex's series of doors. Once inside, it collapsed onto Kimblee's bed as though exhausted, although the heaviness resided more in heart than body.

"Good morning." Kimblee said, woken by the jostling of the mattress.

"Mf firmly rr ur ufughs." Envy muttered into the pillow.

"Pardon?"

Envy raised its face from the down-stuffed cushion. "I said my family are all assholes."

"What happened?"

"Nothing much." It didn't want to go into details. "Everyone is just being all weird. It's like none of us knows whether we're enemies who've lived together so long we've grown accustomed to one another, or comrades who have grown to despise each other for the same reason."

"I'm guessing tonight was more enemy than ally." He reached out and laid one hand on Envy's shoulder, frowning slightly at the contact. "I forgot how cold you get."

"It's cold underground." Envy responded vaguely, all but impervious to his touch. It had considered not coming back at all; in the wake of the confrontation with Lust, it had been in the mood to kill rather than cuddle. But it seemed rude, even by Envy's standards, to just vanish without a word.

Kimblee was not about to be ignored, and in his own bed at that.

"Come here then." He pulled Envy closer, and felt its tension as he did so; not resisting him but lacking the languid acquiescence of before. Envy's frame was about as pliant as a two-by-four. He sighed. "They're never going to let me have you, are they?"

Envy frowned slightly. "What do you call last night? And I'm here _now__, _aren't I?"

"Maybe it betrays my human softness, that I would hope for an entire night unbroken. And you are here, but you brought them all back up with you."

"Wouldn't mind if I brought Greed back with me." Envy said, a hint of antagonism in its tone.

He arched a brow. It seemed Envy was trying to pick a fight. But as onslaughts went, this was one he could deal with; one he could shrug off, in fact.

"You did bring him back with you. He's in here," he touched Envy's temple softly. "And I'm not willing to concede that territory. Be with _me_ for a little longer, I'm not ready to share you yet."

Envy's mood softened, at that. It noticed for the first time upon returning how soft the bed was, how warm _he_ was…and that he was still wasn't wearing a stitch of anything except the sheets.

"Now that you mention it," Envy said, moving closer and shifting into a male form, "You and I have some unfinished business."

.

By the time they were finished, the sun had risen in earnest. Envy was reminded involuntarily of Father, as the light shone through the window and fell upon their bed. Bright, life-giving, utterly remote and untouchable.

"And that," Kimblee said, still slightly out of breath, "is how I know there is no just God in heaven."

"What?" Envy snapped, disrupted from her musings.

"No such entity would grant me such good fortune."

Envy laughed. Speaking of God…

"There was one good part of me going underground. Father gave me permission to let you in on more about us, about what we're doing." She smiled, perhaps the happiest one he had yet seen. "I have so much to tell you."

"Would you mind telling me over breakfast?"

.

Although Envy didn't much care whether she ate or not, she found the process of food preparation in itself quite fascinating; all the more so because, at home, Kimblee favored cuisine seldom found in that country. For his part, he found her rapt attention slightly amusing, for in his line of work he regularly performed all manner of bizarre, experimental alchemy, and Envy witnessed it often enough. Yet she had never responded with half the interest as when he made what was, to him, quite basic fare.

"What's that?" She asked, as he stirred herbs and seasoning into a pot of thick, whitish porridge. She stood behind him, arms around his waist and head on his shoulder. He wore a white terrycloth bathrobe, while Envy was draped in one of the bedsheets. She liked it's residual warmth, and how it still held the scent of both their bodies.

"My mother called it _jok_. I've heard other names for it, though. Congee, lugao…it varies depending on the region, I think."

He held up a spoonful of the dish for Envy to try. It was mild and savory, and quite unlike anything she had tasted before. She was silent for a moment, then,

"Is it…is it nice, having a mother?"

"Better to have one than not to. They say that a mother is one who will care about you, even if no one else does."

"Didn't yours?"

"Care about me? Of course."

Envy frowned, for his voice and face were far from happy.

"And...?"

He smiled. "How about this: you tell me your family's story, and I'll tell you mine."

"Fair enough. So," she pointed to long sticks of dough sizzling in oil, "what's that?"

.

Once situated at the table, Envy ate with one hand while sketching a map of Amestris with the other, paying more attention to the food than the picture. All the same, she lay down each stroke with deft precision, knowing each line and letter more intimately than her own shifting self.

Once done, Envy smiled at him slyly. "Ever wonder why its shape is a circle?"

Once again, he had the feeling of one receiving a revelation from God.

"No…"

"Probably for the best. Wrath would be pissed if people suspected it was by design."

"Then…this whole country…"

"And every major historical event therein, designed by us for our purposes."

"Crops sewn for your harvest."

"Exactly. How well do you know Amestrian history?"

"As well as a soldier ought."

"We'll see. It's pop-quiz time."

Envy directed his attention to various points around the map, asking him to name noteworthy military actions in those areas. He wasn't used to thinking of such things in terms of geography, but managed to supply the events which Envy seemed to expect. His excitement grew as each event was plotted. Whether he was familiar with the history or not, the story it told him was unmistakable. He had worked with that very circle in Lab Five countless times, twenty feet across at the widest, sacrificing prisoners in threes and fours.

And now…_this_...

"Each point is forged by death and devastation." Envy explained, as the transmutation circles was delineated, segment by segment, across the country. "A crest of blood carved into the very land, as Father puts it. And the points are connected by a tunnel deep underground, the work of my brother Sloth. A cruel irony, that his is the heaviest labor of all of us."

Kimblee ran one finger reverently around the circle, halting where the next point was due to be made.

Ishbal.

"I always wondered why the government maintained a presence there, having no resources or desirable territory."

Envy actually giggled. "The only resource we're interested in is their lives. And it will become a lot more than a military presence. The Amerstrian government tends to run roughshod over Ishbalan culture, so you have animosity on that side. And I'm going to perpetrate some crimes as Ishbalan terrorists, get everyone all riled up on both sides. Stoke the flames of hatred, sooner or later the fire will spread."

"And they'll carve the bloody crest all by themselves."

"Exactly."

"And then…" He continued along the perimeter. "Briggs?" He frowned. "That will be a tougher case."

"Not really. Anything to do with the army is ripe for exploitation. It's not as though men of war have any strong motive to keep peace or preserve life."

"True. Especially not the Briggs people, from what I've heard."

"The Promise Day will be a solar eclipse." Envy continued. "As an alchemist, you might know about that..."

"Something about cosmic unification, but the language is very vague. I've always understood it as a coming together of opposing forces and energies to create an otherwise impossible equilibrium. They compare it to God..."

"I'm a little hazy on the details of this part myself. I was born in this world, and it has to do with Father's knowledge of powers beyond it. He's never been content with this world, ruled by humans and determined by the random laws of nature. He's going to pull down God from above us and steal His crown. So he says."

"I can scarcely imagine..." Kimblee closed his eyes briefly, and there was a moment of deep silence. He considered himself one who admired power, never to shrink away from or denounce it. But this…it was so far beyond the scope of his imagination, the very existence of himself, his kind, the world as he knew it…

Then, abruptly, he laughed.

"What's funny in that?" Envy asked, looking at him oddly.

"Your Father as a God above, who cares nothing for me and my kind. In a sense, it won't be different at all."

Envy burst out laughing as well. "Hell, I'd never thought of it that way."

"Why would you? It's a human perspective. But what will be the fate of humanity - and of me, as a human?"

"Human civilization will go on in some form. They're useful in a number of ways. The greatest difference will be that Father will impede their use of alchemy. As for you... you'll live longer than any of your kind – as long as I do, if I have any say in the matter. And Father might be persuaded to let you retain your use of alchemy. If you're loyal."

"I'll see that I am. I'd sooner die than go without it."

"He'd probably let you keep it. With the power of God, it's not as though you'd pose a threat. So..." she smiled, chin resting on one hand. "If you had a world to do anything with...?"

"You'll have to give me a moment to consider that. Tell me what you would do, as you've had longer to speculate."

"I think I'll ask Father to make me a world with dual suns, so that night would never fall. Or maybe a single sun, and a moon so bright it was just like the sun."

"Don't you like the dark?"

"I hate it. I've lived in darkness all my life. In my world, no more dark, no more coldness. It will be like a garden, stretching endlessly beneath the sky."

"Would you let me live there with you?"

"Of course. If you'd be happy in such a place."

"Perhaps...I think I would want humans in my world, though. Supposing I had one."

Envy grimaced. "Ew, why?"

"Even immortal, I'll always be human. I'll always have questions concerning my own kind – like, for instance, what if women were in charge, instead of men?"

"It wouldn't be different."

"It could be."

"There's no difference in me, whether I'm male or female."

"But for you those conditions aren't permanent. Most of us have to live as just one or the other."

"Still. What that means is all in context. Humans, at their core, are all the same. They just want as much as they can get, with as little effort possible – food, money, power, sex – all that. The difference in this society is that women are less often in a position to get it. Change that equation, and they'll change with it."

"Human civilizations do differ from one another on some levels, though, even if the people who comprise those civilizations are basically the same. Even if it did turn out exactly like it is now, I'd want to see that play out. I'd want to see if there's _anything _that would change the fundamental structure of humans societies."

"You want to understand the differences between humans, because you want to understand why you yourself are so different."

He stared at her a moment, speechless.

"…Maybe you're right. I've never thought of it that way."

"Look for the answer in human civilization if you want. The way you describe it, it could be amusing, but I doubt you'll find insight to yourself that way." She reached across the table, taking his hand in her own, fingering the transmutation circle on his palm. "Because you _are _different. And by definition that will always defy explanation. When you're cut lose from time and season, you'll become less human, but more yourself. Whatever makes you a surprise to me, when the rest of your kind is so uniformly tiresome. When that happens, you might not need humanity anymore."

"When that happens, will I need anything at all? And what's the point of life, if not?"

"I don't know. But don't you want to find out?"

.

(A/N: So, the format for this story is going to change a little...I think. There are a few exchanges between these two which I want to illustrate, almost a series of one-shots in that, while interesting (to me, anyway), they don't directly advance the plot, and I didn't include them before for that reason. Although maybe now I've said it, it won't turn out that way. I guess this is just to say that, if things seem to slow down, it's not that I've gone stale, I'm just giving them a rest for a while. Because the worst is yet to come, muhahaha! Thanks for reading!)


	26. Teeth

(A/N: I've been in a dark mood lately, and this chapter shows it. Heavy on the horror, little to no romance. Also, I wanted to show a little of Father's goofy side.)

.

Although it seemed as though years had passed since the incident with Leander, in what was actually less than a business week Doctor Marcoh's team was reconvened in Lab Five. There was a new member of the team, Blair Lines, to replace Rex Leander. Envy, as Major Nied, decided a fitting orientation was to show Lines, along with the rest of the research team, what had become of Leander.

"Just as a reminder of what will happen if you betray us." Envy said with a smile.

Morgenstern shot Envy squarely between the eyes and was, in turn, blown to pieces by Kimblee. Thayer drew his gun to shoot Kimblee, only to have the hand holding the gun cut off by Envy, who had recovered from the momentary daze of a bullet to the head, and had turned his arm into a scythe-like appendage.

"Let me handle it next time." Envy said, reverting his arm to normal and silencing Thayer with his own gun. He tossed away the severed hand carelessly.

"Call it male hubris, but you can't ask me to do nothing when someone shoots you right in front of me."

"I'm not asking you, I'm _telling _you. Getting yourself shot doesn't do me any favors."

"Lucky I didn't get shot then."

"Yeah, but now we have to –" Envy was interrupted by another gunshot, as Lines blew his own brains all over the floor. "Oh god dammit!" Envy shouted, before turning to Tucker, who flinched. Envy held up one hand in a semi-placating gesture. "Hey…I'll give you a raise, or…anything you want, within reason, if you don't do anything stupid." Meaningless as human lives were to Envy, he knew it wasn't exactly easy to come by capable researchers, and now they would have to start all over. Father was going to be unhappy…

"W-w-well." Tucker stammered, wiping blood off his glasses with a trembling hand. "I've alw-ways wanted t-to be an official State Alchemist."

His skills were sufficient for the task, but it was the psychological evaluation that had proven his downfall, he had been unable to misrepresent himself quite as thoroughly as Kimblee had. Envy had read the evaluations of everyone there, and while it understood the difference, the spectrum of human mental health was meaningless to him. Furthermore, in a militarized nation such as Amestris, the coveted title of State Alchemist was usually bestowed on those who used their alchemy for the purpose of combat. The government wanted weapons first, doctors and scientist a distant second. But there were always exceptions.

"Done." Envy said. "Don't kill yourself." He turned to Marcoh. "And that goes for you too, Doctor. If you kill yourself over what happens here, I'll personally see to it that _many _more people die as a result."

"Of course." Marcoh said, his voice brimming with quiet despair. "What else?"

.

"So they're all dead?" Father asked, frowning at Envy.

"No, only three out of six. W-we broke even, technically..."

Father sighed. "It was a mistake to show them what you did to that…Rev Lavender fellow."

"…Rex Leander?"

"That's the one." Father said, snapping his fingers. "It's your duty to understand humans better than that."

"I only –"

Father cut him off with a wave of his hand. He knew what Envy would say: that he had only wanted to ensure there would be no more unruliness amongst the researchers, to scare them into obedience. And he knew what Envy would _not_ say: that obedience and order meant no more attempts on Kimblee's life.

Envy wouldn't always be there to take the knife in the eye, after all. Father could see the cogs working as though his progeny's skull were transparent. He chose not to address it, however. Envy's punishment was in store, regardless. He could not deflect every knife, bullet, grenade and piece of shrapnel in Ishbal. If Envy had forgotten that Kimblee was a pawn, the reminder would come soon enough.

"You are to locate four new researchers to place under Marcoh." Father said, simply.

"Yes sir."

.

Before they had researchers, however, they had to have something to research on. When Envy thought about Ishbal, it was usually in terms of how much easier it would be to obtain sacrifices once the war broke out. Central was beginning to run low on drug-addicts, alcoholics and crazies – the ones who wandered, homeless, and would not be missed - either that, or they were getting damn good at _hiding_. They seemed to know something was wrong amongst their numbers, even when all higher tiers of humanity were happily oblivious.

Envy, as Elizabeth, had been playing chess with Marcoh in the part as per usual. After the all-out slaughter in the lab, Envy figured the man needed some cheering up. The plan was complicated, however, by a wild-looking woman digging through the trashcans, muttering to herself. She seemed old at a casual glance, but Envy's could tell that it was not time that had ravaged her body. Amphetamines, by the smell. It was what she said, however, that was worrisome.

"...Come out of the dark…eyes within eyes within teeth within teeth…down to the lab the lab thelab thelabthelabthelab…monsters and madmen, cages and pits…" she moaned, then, abruptly, turned to look at 'Elizabeth' and Marcoh, as though she could feel there eyes on her.

"You." She pointed a shaking hand. "You're one of them! Monster!"

Envy's mouth went dry. Luckily, Marcoh seemed to assume the woman was referring to him.

"Go home, Lizzy." He said softly.

"But Mr. Marcoh –"

"Go!"

.

Envy waited, as a dog, for night to fall. The muttering woman haunted the halos of streetlights. Her logic seemed to be that public places with lights were safer. But people with homes went to them when night fell, and then the lights were blotted out one by one by Pride's darkness.

She seemed afraid, but not surprised.

"You should have stayed quiet." Envy said, turning from canine to Elizabeth. "You were too weak to use, anyway."

"Monst –!"

.

The woman's body was discovered the next morning. Attacked by feral dogs, the mortician said. A lot of dogs. So many teeth of different sizes.

.

(A/N: The new guy was named for someone who annoys my roommate. Thanks for reading, I think I'll go look at something cute now...)


	27. From Horseshoes to Kings' Heads

(A/N: I tend to second-guess myself when I put out chapters more quickly than usual, wondering if there's not something I'll want to go back a change later. Oh well, I guess we'll see...)

.

There is an old military adage which predates the weapons, methods, means, and ends of modern warfare, and yet is still quite apt:

_For want of a nail a horseshoe was lost, for want of a horseshoe a horse was lost, for want of a horse a rider was lost, for want of a rider a message was lost, for want of a message a treaty was lost, for want of a treaty a country was lost, for want of a country a king lost his head. _

It was Envy's job to mind the whole spectrum, everything from horseshoes to kings. It was enough to keep one busy. As Wrath never tired of pointing out, one did not run a country by neglecting the details.

At that point in time Envy seldom had cause to intervene, but every once in a while it stepped in to smoothly alter some small event in favor of Father's agenda, either concerning Ishbal or in general. It watched and waited most of the time, learning by observation the humans of significance better than their closest friends, and the mechanisms of the country better than those who perpetuated them. It was never impressed by what it saw.

When night fell, the world was a different place. Envy both loved the dark for its freedom from humanity, and yet resented the exile from the world of light. It wasn't enough to stalk the darkness, when humans ruled while the sun was in the sky. Envy would have reversed the scenario. Father ought to rule beneath the sun, which itself was like his mirror-image. Let humans carry on their petty lives in darkness, hiding and skulking. They weren't becoming of illumination.

Previously, night was when Envy gathered subjects for the lab. In the absence of researchers, however, subjects would have been superfluous. Father decided to more or less suspend Lab Five activities until they had a steady source of Ishbalans to sacrifice. In the meantime, Marcoh, Kimblee, and Tucker were relieved of their duties therein, which was a source of great disappointment to the latter.

"What about making me a State Alchemist?" Tucker said, when Envy informed him that the lab was being shut down for the time being. "You _promised._"

He looked so betrayed. Envy grit its teeth, longing to just kill him. In light of recent bloodshed, however, it exercised restraint. They might need this one again.

"Earn it yourself if you want it so bad." Envy snapped, and thought no more of it until much later.

.

In the meantime, this meant that Envy had free time primarily at night. And, consequently, Kimblee developed a tendency to fall asleep at work. He had never been one to let his personal life interfere with his job, but then again, there had never been much personal life to speak of before. The few, brief relationships he'd had since living in Central had been with women who matched his mask – neat, comfortably middle-class, socially responsible. Boring. He scheduled and compartmentalized them as neatly as one might manage regular trips to the dentist.

It was for this reason, perhaps, that women didn't stick around long. Disinterest can seem like chivalry for a while, and one can be a very good listener when they're compelled to share nothing of their own thoughts or opinions. He was a blank slate that was easy to project on. When a woman realized this and left, he didn't much mind. Another one just like her would be along sooner or later.

Envy, on the other hand, was a demon, an incubus, slipping through his window with the night air, into his bed. He would wake as though to just another layer of dream, for in that sublime rush of infatuation they were so in tune with one another it was almost as though they were sharing one mind and one flesh.

In was partially deceptive, for they often neglected to talk as they had when Envy was asexual. In intimacy they were so close he could sometimes barely tell their two bodies apart, and yet he often knew nothing of what Envy had been doing up until that moment, day after day. At times it was as though Envy existed only as a nocturnal reverie, to rouse him at who-knows-what-hour and vanish before morning even considered showing her face. A dream more vivid than reality.

This might not have bothered most men, but he wasn't most men. As an alchemist, he considered it best to be a creature of intellect before flesh, and he had chosen Envy accordingly: a mind to be the companion of his own, as well as a nice body to play with. He didn't like having to choose one over the other.

.

"You should stay." Kimblee said, catching Envy around the waist as he tried to slip away, before either of them had even caught their breath.

"You should sleep."

"Stay and sleep with me."

"Yeah, I've heard that one before." Envy couldn't suppress a smirk.

"Did you kill anyone today?"

"I heard you passed out on your desk Tuesday."

"It doesn't matter. It's not as though I'm doing anything important."

"It does matter. We can't let it seem like this is getting in the way –"

"Of duty to Father. I know."

"You tend to forget."

"I'm not the only one." Was he expected to say _no_, when he woke up with Envy's arms already around him, mouth and hands already on him, all over him?

"_I'm _not the one falling asleep on the job."

"It isn't my fault I'm –"

_Human. _

There was an unpleasant silence.

"It isn't my fault I'm not."

"That's not the problem."

Envy didn't say anything. What could he say, of an existence of watching, unseen – or if seen than not recognized or known. It was a one of the motives behind the sin's fierce bloodlust, the moment when it took a life was usually the only time Envy was identified for who and what it truly was. And then to be seen, known, touched, _admired_…it went beyond pleasure, it was the only time which Envy felt real. The void of nothingness inside was not gone or forgotten, but quieted. It was a sea in which Envy had always drowned, but now there was something to cling to, something to keep its head above the water, if only just.

He would not have put this to words, even if he could have found the right ones. All it meant was that Envy was as powerless to keep away as Kimblee was to turn Envy away.

If, however, they had both been human, it wouldn't have been a problem.

"We'll have time, eventually." Envy said. "All the time in the world. In an infinite number of worlds. We'll have time to get sick of each other."

"The only time that exists is now. Even eternity is measured in seconds."

"How do you know all this?" Envy said, in an odd mixture of exasperation and tenderness. "You're still just a child, really…"

"One doesn't have to live a long time to understand how time works." He looked at Envy, both beseeching and commanding. "_Stay_."

Envy could not find the will to oppose him, and wasn't sure he wanted to in the first place. Maybe they would regret it later…but later did not yet exist. Both of them had always lived for the future in their own ways, Envy motivated by a distinct goal, Kimblee with the simple belief that whatever he was going to had to be better than where he had come from. For the first time, there was peace to be found in the fragile equilibrium of _now_. It was living, and it was a first for both of them.

.

(A/N: Gr, I hate it when my characters are happier than I am. WTF? YOUR JOB IS TO SUFFER! DX And I haven't forgotten about Greed. Kimblee and Envy need to habituate to being a couple before a third person gets involved. You'll just have to wait for it ;) Thanks for reading!)


	28. Dreams and Dangers

(A/N: I realized I've neglected the creepiness that is Mr. Gold-tooth'd, no-name doctor fellow. We can't have that!)

.

There was a brief span of time when Kimblee still worked in the lab, and when he became semi-nocturnal. In that time, he discovered first-hand what he would have been happy to know in theory: Lab Five is a bad place to fall asleep. He hadn't meant to. He had been doing some paperwork concerning his transfer to other duties, and once more signing away his right to talk about anything that had occurred during his current assignment. It seemed as though he had signed such a document every other day since working there.

He had merely leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment. He felt himself drifting, and shook himself awake. Or thought he did. But the room he opened his eyes to was much like his bedroom in Central. Rain was falling, except that the drops ran upward on the glass, as though being pulled back up into the sky from whence they came.

He knew he shouldn't be there, that something bad was about to happen. He knew because it had already happened, like watching a film one has seen at least once before. The ceiling was leaking, black-tainted water dripping down the walls. It formed transmutation circles of its own accord, reminiscent of human transmutation, but every one of them was flawed. The only sound aside from the rain was a record playing a scratchy, often skipping recording of his grandfather's voice instructing him in the basic theories of alchemy, in the Xingese dialect he hadn't heard for over a decade.

"_Alchemy is tapping into the life-force of the world, the thread which binds us together, the current which perpetuates existence." _

_You're wrong. _He thinks to himself. _You were always wrong about that. _

He knows that he has until the noose pulls tight around his grandfather's neck to get out. This shouldn't be a problem, except he can't find his State Alchemist watch, and if he goes outside without it he will be nothing, because the circles on his hands seem to be flawed as well, just like every circle there, and the more he looks at the tattoos the less they seem to exist at all.

The record skips, the voice distorts, splits, one speaking of alchemy, the other muttering nonsense.

"…_With the –" _the record skipped_ "– in this, all life is equal…" _

His mother is in the kitchen, going through the motions of cooking although there is nothing edible present. Her back is to him; her long, dark hair is loose, falling to the small of her back. He knows that he doesn't want her to turn around, that he won't like what he sees if she does.

The record skips, the voice distorts beyond understanding, in the background there is the sound of screaming. His mother's hand is black and crumbling as she pours sand and gravel into a pot of water as though she is preparing rice. He would try and save her, but what's about to happen has already happened, and he can't, can't,_ can't _stay, cannot see this happen again and can't change it. He decides to just leave – he's already forgotten what he had been looking for, but the smoke is too thick now to see through…the voice on the record is babbling nonsense and screaming, and he turns to run but his leg is stuck –

– In Gluttony's inhumanly large maw, and before he was even fully awake he set off an explosion in the homunculus's flesh, and was _very _glad for the reason to do so, for the reminder of who and what he was. Not to say that he was glad about his leg though. He bent to survey the damage as Gluttony regenerated. Its – his? – teeth were blunt, and Kimblee's flesh was deeply bruised more than broken, with a few thin trickles of blood running down his leg and staining his sock.

"That was impolite." He said to the homunculus, but its eyes were fixed on something directly behind him.

"Ah, you must be one of the surviving researchers – although not by much, it seems."

There was nothing unusual about the voice, and yet it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He turned in his chair to see an elderly man standing in the doorway. From behind him, he heard the shuffling sound of Gluttony's retreating footsteps. His very _quickly _retreating footsteps.

"I would introduce myself," the man continued, and as he spoke, a gold tooth glinted in his mouth, "but it so happens I don't technically have a name, and it would be a farce to pretend I don't already know yours."

Maybe it was the unnerving way the man's eyes milk-pale eyes wandered in different directions, or the way Gluttony had so promptly fled from him, but Kimblee was suddenly less-than-thrilled to be alone with this person when he was injured. Or at all. He thought, unpleasantly, of sharks attracted by the scent of blood.

The man took a step towards him. "You should let me look at that leg. I'm a doctor, you know."

"No thanks."

"Oh? Isn't that what you might call _impolite?_"

"Impolite, for me, is your insides adorning the walls."

The man laughed. "Oh, such talk. King Bradley wouldn't be pleased at all, owing his almost-human body to yours truly. In a sense, I'm as much his father as Father."

"And 'Father' won't be pleased, to have that information compromised." Envy's voice, as he stepped through the door in the guise of Major Neid.

"Senior moment." The man said with a chuckle, but it was obvious to all of them that it was no such thing. He merely wanted to demonstrate he knew things Kimblee didn't.

"Maybe you ought to consider retirement." Envy said in a mockingly concerned voice.

"Maybe you ought to watch your tongue, little worm. Something might happen to your pet human, being so hapless in a place like this."

Envy's eyes narrowed, but oddly he did nothing else.

"Unless there's something I can _help _you with, doctor, I believe you're wanted elsewhere."

"Indeed, indeed. So many tasks for an old man. I'll be off then."

He turned and exited, passing closer to Envy than even Kimblee might have cared to under the same circumstances, as he made his way out the door. Envy slammed it shut behind him with a scowl.

"You want to watch out for that one."

"That's my general impression, yes. Does that mean that the Fürher is –"

"My youngest brother, Wrath, although created in such a way that he alone among us ages." Envy sighed. "It doesn't matter if you know, but Father or Pride will kill you if you let that slip to Greed."

"And you still can't tell me who Pride is?"

"It's not _who_ so much as what. But no, I can't. Are you alright?"

"Fine. Just…odd dreams."

"I was referring more to your leg."

"Oh – it's fine. I'm not about to go jogging, but I don't think anything's seriously damaged." He didn't like calling attention to injuries around Envy, didn't like being so much physically weaker.

"What were you dreaming about?" Envy asked, cocking his head.

"…Nothing. Just, well, what you might expect, that something bad was about to happen."

"Seems appropriate."

"Quite."

.

(A/N: Possibly better for Kimblee that Gluttony found him first lol. As far as the dream, it's not terribly important, just Kimblee's subconscious saying, _hey, shit is about to go down, hello! _I was going to write a more generic nightmare, but then realized: wait, this is _Kimblee_. Any nightmare of his has to be disturbing and trippy as hell. And it hints at more of his history, so that's two birds with one stone. Thanks for reading!)


	29. Origins: Part I

(A/N: Help, I've tripped and fallen into character backstory! (Spell-check wants to Xingese to 'Sexiness'? Really?)The front-story will begin again after this. OCs ahoy! I was vaguely inspired by the Opium Wars when I wrote this, but it's not at all similar to any historical events. Then again, nothing else is either. Also, Envy + pronouns = AAARRRRGGG!)

.

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"About yourself."

"...Hello, my name is Zolf J. Kimblee. I'm an alchemist and a soldier, as well as many other things considerably less mentionable."

"That's a start."

"Was their something in particular?"

"All of it, _in particular_."

"All of what?"

"You."

"You mean...my past?"

"Yeah. You always change the subject."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"I can't just tell you everything."

"You keeping secrets?"

"Nothing like that. It's just...life isn't so simple, to fall into place like puzzle pieces in retrospect. At least, mine isn't."

As an individual, he was logical, organized and analytical. But he had not always been the person he was. The further back his memory reached, the more chaotic and ambiguous the narrative became, until it was like tracing the thoughts of a stranger. The pieces didn't fit together like they should, and some of them were absent altogether.

"'Cause you're weird." Envy said.

"Not as weird as you."

"Twice as weird as me."

"Half as much, at most."

They tended to tease one another on account of their strangeness, having for the first time someone with whom there was no risk of judgement. Their were united in their deviance, if not entirely similar.

"_I _could at least tell my life's story."

"You tell it then."

"There you go changing the subject again, weirdo. But you're not getting out of it."

"I could tell you some things. Maybe a lot of things, but not everything. Certainly not all at once."

"Okay, just some things then."

"Again, we come to the question of which ones."

"Let's start with this," Envy's fingers alighted on a transmutation tattoo, "how did you learn alchemy?"

"Picked it up here and there."

Envy glared.

"It's _true_." Kimblee protested.

"You can do better."

"Alright. The first person who taught it to me was my grandfather."

"And?"

"That's it."

"Oh come _on_."

"He taught me the basics, which I expect you're familiar with." He shrugged. "That's all there is to it. What else do you want to know?"

"Where did _he _learn it?"

"I don't know. Anything before my grandparents came to this country was never discussed." He smiled ruefully. "The ridiculous stories I told myself, though, when I was a child. I imagined that my grandfather had been a powerful alchemist of noble lineage, fleeing deadly political turmoil that would have followed him to the ends of his own nation."

"It's not entirely ridiculous. I don't know Xing like I do Amestris, but if it's anything like here, alchemists are often people of significance."

"Perhaps. But it didn't do me any good, spinning such idle fancy. I built Xing up to be a paradise in my mind, a fantasy world where all the strife I knew in Amestris would not exist. I used to dream of going back to my 'home country' as I thought of it. Going from rags to riches, as per my family's supposed prominence, escaping obscurity and weakness in one country for a life of power and luxury in another."

"Dunno about the rest of it, but you haven't done that bad for yourself in regards to power."

"True." He allowed himself a momentary grin, although it faded quickly. "But it was naïve. I had to let go of those daydreams in order to make anything of myself."

"Would you ever want to go to Xing?"

"I did go, eventually. Yes, there's a story for you." His face split into a wicked grin. "I went, and I can never go back."

"Why?"

"I ran afoul of a very powerful drug lord. To this day, not only can I not go back, anyone with my general characteristics might be killed and never know why."

"What did you _do?_" Envy asked, laughing.

"Messed around with one of his concubines for one thing, but that wasn't the real issue…no, I should start at the beginning. When I was old enough to view myself as a man – around twelve or thirteen – I became involved with opium smuggling. It was easy; it came out of Xing, carried by people not much different from myself and my family. I had an advantage over most of them, as I spoke Amestrian. I began as a minor smuggler, but I rose quickly within the ranks and became one who was entrusted with carrying shipments between this country and the other. And so, when I was fifteen, I came for the first time to what I considered my _homeland_." The word was bitter.

"And you were as much a foreigner there as you were here." Envy said. He knew how human societies worked, and had seen that conclusion coming a mile away.

"More so. Their society is quite ethnically homogenous, as a half-breed I stuck out like a sore thumb."

"Were you disappointed?"

"_Devastated_. Where I hoped for reprieve from the alienation I felt in this country, I was more unwelcome there than I was here. I saw for the first time that I belonged nowhere, and to no one."

"You belong with me."

He enfolded Envy's hand in his own.

"If I do, it's because of the rude awakening I suffered then. For the first time, I was forced to question my own standards, the standards most humans are born to and live by. Us versus them, _my _kind as superior to _their _kind. If Xing was so pettily biased, I wondered, was it really so good to be counted as its native son? Would I _want _such status, to be counted among people who I could now see were as small-minded as those of any other culture or nation? The answer, inevitably, was no. If to belong was to be as they were, I would rather be alone."

"That must be hard, for a human."

"Devastating, like I said. The truth is not a pleasant thing. Anyway, in that condition, I and my fellow smugglers were the guests of Yìnzhn-Ji, an outlaw and a drug lord who lived outside any government's authority. He maintained vast fields of opium poppies, acres upon acres of red when they bloomed. We gave him his share of the profits we had collected in Amestris, and received the next supply of refined poppy resin which we would be transporting…"

He felt silent. Envy shifted impatiently.

"And?"

"There's so much I could tell you, about that place. I hardly know where to begin."

"You mentioned concubines."

"Yes. As any outlaw drug lord would, he had plenty of them. So many that their beauty became common. Anywhere else, they would have been jewels, but with him they were pebbles, his to pick up and throw away at leisure."

"Only to be picked up again by lonely smugglers in a foreign land?"

"Precisely. I would have been killed if Yìnzhn-Ji found out, but when one contends with the likes of him, they become desensitized to the risk of death. Anyway, I found favor with a woman named Hua-Fen. She had been one of his favorites in the past, and had born a child. I don't know what happened to that child, she never spoke about it, but her pregnancy had left her with stretch marks on her breasts and stomach. Flawed as such, she was worthless to Yìnzhn-Ji, although so lovely many men would have spilled blood for her, their own or others. I certainly would have, had she asked it of me."

Envy gave him a dark look.

"Are you jealous?"

"Oh, ya think?"

"You should be glad that I knew her. She taught me what to do with a woman. Just as Yìnzhn-Ji had his pick of his harem, they had their pick of his guests, and the only determining factor was that I pleased her. She wouldn't let me inside her until I'd made her come at least once. _In the end, I'm just a whore_, she'd say. _I'm a whore and this is my payment._"

"Seems a bit selfish."

"She could afford to be unabashedly selfish. If I complained, her response was simply,_ fine, be alone then_. I never lasted more than a day, before I was back at the door of her chamber like a lost puppy. I wasn't in love with her – I didn't know her and I knew myself even less. But I was as close to love as it was possible to be, in that condition."

Envy still looked sour, and he continued,

"She wasn't the most interesting person I encountered there. A much more colorful character was Yìnzhn-Ji himself. He was the most jovial and generous man you could ever know. Until he was angered, and then he would deal out deaths and tortures which might shock even you. And then he would return to being carefree and good-natured as a baby, perpetually nursed on the finest pleasures. Life had scarcely given him cause to leave his swaddling of riches, and so he delighted in tales of distant lands. In this way, I became popular with him for a brief time. The dialect of that region bore only a vague resemblance to the one I had spoken with my family, and he was almost as amused by my verbal stumbling as he was by the ridiculous stories I invented about Amestris."

Envy grinned. "Do tell."

"The coloring of the people for starters. He was fascinated by the idea of fair hair. Jiro, a fellow smuggler, was part Ishbalan, and he had the telltale ashen hair. Yìnzhn-Ji would simply _stroke _it in fascination. Jiro, like his Ishbalan forefathers, was both strong and very proud; he was known for punching people in the face if they bumped into him. But he had to sit there and _allow _it; I could almost feel the rage coming off him in waves, like tangible heat, but to object was to face the worst kind of death. I told Yìnzhn-Ji about people with hair and skin of every shade imaginable. He believed all of it, anything I invented, he was very naïve in that regard. Eventually one of his eunuchs told me to stop, lest they be ordered to find him a woman with blue hair and orange skin. "

"Although nothing you told him about this country could be stranger than the truth."

"True." He said with a chuckle. "I doubt even he would have believed _that_. Now, Yìnzhn-Ji came from a line of alchemists. There are those who say that opium enhances alchemical ability, and his forefathers turned to the poppy's cultivation for those ends. A few generations later, Yìnzhn-Ji never went a day without inhaling smoke of the flower, and if he had ever known how to perform a basic transmutation, he had long ago forgotten. But he had in his possession the writings and research of previous generations, the culmination of a line of alchemists dating back to the dawn of that ancient civilization."

Envy's mind was drawn of its own accord to the texts of Xingian ideographs which Kimblee often scrutinized.

"Xing does" He continued, "have a more or less standardized system of writing. Complicated, but basically consistent. So although when speaking Xingese with them I often embarrassed myself, my level of reading was actually quite high. And while Yìnzhn-Ji fiercely guarded his women and drugs, he would never have suspected the person I was then of being interested in anything else. It probably would have surprised them to learn that I could read at all.

"So it was relatively easy, with Hua-Fen's help, to obtain access to Yìnzhn-Ji's archives. I had turned away from alchemy after my grandfather's death, but my interest was rekindled to an inferno as I explored his dusty, disused archives. It was a breath of fresh air when I had been unknowingly suffocating. I realized that I couldn't go on living as I was, I had the potential to be so much more, and that potential lay with alchemy. But I faced a dilemma. I had once dreamed of returning to Xing and becoming a great alchemist there. As it turned out, I had to choose between the two. If I stole from him, my only hope was to flee the country, and yet if I did _not _steal from him I would never possess the secrets I coveted, for what was recorded there was not the kind of stuff you learn from spending a few hours reading by a single candle at night, straining your ears all the while for the footstep of a sentry."

"What made you choose alchemy?"

"I had already lost faith in humanity. Both individually and collectively, as in the case of a country. I placed no value in either. Although I did beg Hua-Fen to come back to Amestris with me. She told me that all that was between us was contingent on the fact that I did not own her, and if she left with me to be my wife, that would change. I wanted her to come anyway. Obviously she refused. Her life there was better there than what I could have offered. So I took the documents and fled, and my fellow smugglers were undoubtedly killed on account of that theft. I do regret that. But if I had it to do again I would do the same."

"And then you came back here?"

"Yes. I lived for a few years on very limited means while I studied what I had stolen. In that time, I also began to study in depth the culture of this country, having resigned myself to a life therein. It was a rough education, to say the least, but it eventually led to the practice of alchemy which I perform now, as well as my ability to pass as a person not very different from others. When I had mastered both arts sufficiently, I enlisted as a soldier, and eventually a state alchemist. And for a brief span of time my life was quite normal."

"And then you met this weird creature and it all got fucked up again."

"It got _interesting _again."

"So what else? If you considered yourself all-grown-up at twelve, what about your childhood?"

"I'm tired of storytelling. It's your turn. Tell me something from your past."

"Hmm...there was that one time I took on Greed's form and proposed to every one of his girlfriends..."

.

Even when Kimblee slept, Envy often didn't. There were other things of interest. He or she – for Envy was always gendered at such times – liked to curl into his sleeping form, absorbing the slow rise-and-fall of his breath, or sneak gentle fingers against his neck to find the pulse ticking against its fingertips, and ached for want of something it didn't understand. (Humans, invariably spend a number of months being enclosed in the motions of life, their mother's dyadic heartbeat being the most basic rhythm a human recognizes). Sometimes these tempos were soothing enough to lull Envy to sleep, even though its body did not need rest. Which was lucky, for when Envy did sleep it was never for long. It wasn't always amours activity which kept them up at night.

Too often, Envy would wake to chill touch, the breathless whisper of Pride. He never harmed Envy, but knew just what to say to fill him/her with distress, more than physical pain might have.

(_I.e: _

_"I should kill him. I could. He's replaceable."_

_"Do it, and I'll fuck every man who reminds me of him, just to spite you."_)

More often than not, however, it was simply the same old memory-nightmares.

_Envy was a walking along a dirt path._ _A row of palm trees on the right, a moat of hewn white marble with crystalline water flowing on the left. Her butter-yellow hair is braided over her shoulder, her skirt is white, on her feet are leather sandals. It is warm, the beams of sunlight kiss her skin. She is carrying a basket of dates she bought at market, to bring home as a treat for her waiting children._ _Then doom falls, the sky darkens. Then comes pain, death, and worse, the knowledge she will never see her children again, never give them the dates that will rot in the sun beside her corpse..._

Envy woke at a touch on his face. The bedside lamp was on, and it was Kimblee's touch which woke him - as opposed to Pride's, thankfully. Envy knows who and where they both are, and yet is still disoriented. The memory of that petty human life seems, for a moment, so much more real than a humunculi's long, dark deathlessness.

"I was thrashing again, wasn't I?" It's not really a question.

"What do you dream of, that disturbs you so much?"

"Come here." Envy held out one arm. "I'll tell you a bedtime story."

He did so, settling with his head on Envy's shoulder. Their hair mingled on the pillow, a river of undifferentiated shining blackness.

"Once upon a time, there was a magical land in the desert, hugging the banks of a river. It was green and unsurprisingly fertile, an Eden on earth, less because of the river than their use of alchemy, of which even the scraps of recollection are enough to make this country vibrant and prosperous."

"Xerxes."

"Very good." He said with a playful, teacher-like affect. "These people had power, and like all humans, they used their power to their own harm as much as to their benefit. What they had only whetted their appetite for more. They call Pride the deadliest sin, but in _my _opinion humanity's biggest vice is greed. Perhaps why he gets along with them so well. Anyway, their avarice reached beyond the margin of this very world. They beat against the gate of creation, and from beyond it..."

"Your father?"

"The thing which would become him, yes." He closed his eyes for a moment, and spoke as though to himself. "What was his origin - was he born, and where, and of what? Or does he have a beginning at all? What was his substance, before the physical world? How did he come into it knowing so much about it? I'll probably never know. Maybe I wouldn't understand even if he told me. All I know of him is what humans knew: they named him homunculus, and he shared with them knowledge which mortals were never meant to have." He opened his eyes and continued.

"The emperor, you see, coveted immortality. He had, under his will, the greatest civilization the world has ever seen, but he was not satisfied. So, in his avarice, he impelled my father to give him the secret to eternal life. It was something of a hostage situation. Father didn't have the body which he has now; the only thing which held him in this world was a beaker made of glass. If it were to break, just like if a human's body breaks, the soul departs to regions unknown, or perhaps nowhere at all. The Emperor wanted eternal life, Father only wanted _life_, which all humans have and take for granted. As it turns out, the means to both their goals was the same."

"The Philosopher's Stone."

"Yes. You must have wondered, along with everyone else in the world, what happened in Xerxes." Envy's voice was gleeful, almost sing-song. "The pinnacle of civilization in one moment, a vacant ruin in the next. Everyone laid down and died, and nobody knows why. But I do. What happened was my Father, his birth into the physical world. The Emperor exchanged the lives of his people for an ever-living body. But Father lied to him, and he was the one who got that body in the end. So while a human gains energy from water and air, my life is sustained through the harvest of every human life-force in a nation. And when I sleep, I relive their final moments. Although the loss of human life doesn't bother me, experiencing their death as they did is...unpleasant."

Kimblee was silent for a time, adrift in the sea of Envy's story.

"Immortality," he murmured at last, "and yet whenever you sleep, death. Equal exchange is truly inescapable." Something else occurred to him, and he frowned slightly. "So, all these months I've been experimenting with philosopher's stones in the lab, I've been –"

"Experimenting with one in bed, yes."

There was another long pause as he mulled over this new piece of information.

"I can't imagine those things as being akin to you."

"They're not, really. Those stones are to me what a fingernail clipping is to a human."

"If your father already made such a one, why does he need the help of humans like myself and doctor Marcoh in making more?"

"That was centuries ago, even his memory isn't infallible. And the transition into a physical body jarred his mind. A lot of what happened in Xerxes is lost, even to him." Envy looked troubled for a moment, then, "do you…still think I have a soul, knowing this?"

"Why not? Your Father clearly does, for what else would exist before his body, if not his soul?"

"Just because he has one doesn't mean I do. What if I'm simply an empty vessel he created, and what seems to be a personality in me is just psychic castoff – the imprint of Xerxian personalities on the stone forged from their lives?"

He raised himself up enough to Envy's eyes. Envy felt pinned in place by the sudden intensity in his gaze.

"That's not true." He said, slowly and firmly, as though the words alone could make it so.

"You don't know that."

"If that was the case, your personality would reflect the average Xerxian, and that is clearly not the case. For one thing, their culture was _highly _paternalistic – I see it in your Father, in calling himself that, but I don't see it in you at all."

"Really?"

"Yes. Women were considered inferior beings, incapable of higher thought or rationality. No Xerxian would be female if they had any choice in the matter. Why would you of all people cast yourself as an inferior being?"

Envy had never looked at it in those terms, not being accustomed to viewing himself within the context of human society. It made sense, though. It was consoling, even in the face of the yawning emptiness which Envy always felt inside.

"Want to see it?" Envy asked, on a whim.

"See what?"

"My core. My center."

"...If I can." It was such a strange concept.

Envy opened his mouth, and his tongue seemed to split down the middle, the pink flesh parting to reveal shining red stone. Kimblee stared, fascinated, and then on impulse reached out towards Envy's face.

"May I?"

Envy inclined his head ever so slightly, and Kimblee slipped one finger into the warm cavity of Envy's mouth, coming to rest on the stone. It was neither hot nor cold to the touch, but there was a sensation that was half pulse, half eclectic current. The rudimentary stones he had handled before had had a ghost of that power, but Envy's was orders of magnitude more powerful. _Alive_.

Without thinking, he withdrew his hand and kissed Envy instead, with his tongue exploring more thoroughly. The contact was intense, the touch of a live wire; not pleasurable or painful, yet so strong it was akin to both at once. He maintained it for as long as he could before pulling away, shaken down to his bones.

For Envy, it was the most intimate thing they had yet done, and it had happened almost without thought, so naturally.

"You never run out of ways to fascinate me."

Envy grinned. "What base is that anyway? Fifth?"

.

(A/N: If you have a hard time picturing Kimblee as being at all 'like a lost puppy' (dunno _why_ you would) just bare in mind that he _was_ fifteen and in general a very different person than he later became. He was never a _nice _kid, but less emotionally moderated than he later became. There's a lot to his life which effected the way he turned out that I didn't include here. It will come up, but not for a while yet. And I've always wished the series explained a little more about what Father actually was and where he came from. Thanks for reading!)


	30. Conflict of Interests

(A/N: It's been a while, and let me say first of all that I HATE the new layout. It was going to be even longer until I posted, as I find myself in the middle of both finals AND moving the plan was to focus on that. But, since I am such a dedicated author (read: procrastinating like mad) here is a chapter soon than I'd planned!)

.

They sometimes fought, as all couples do. The specific reasons were usually as trivial as the ensuing conflict was dramatic; neither of them might even remember what started any given fight, but the conflict itself was highly memorable.

It goes without saying that Envy could be quite moody, and at times was filled with a surly, untraceable dissatisfaction, which seemed to have no cause and yet applied to everything. That was the Envy which the rest of the world knew.

If Kimblee ever brought Envy's behavior up, it was usually defensive. He learned very quickly that there was no arguing with Envy when the homunculus was in a bad mood, anything he said, even if it was reasonable, only added fuel to the fire. Inevitably, Envy snapped, and the underlying discontent came to the surface. Envy never attacked him physically, but the verbal onslaughts were little better.

In the face of Envy's anger, Kimblee tended to go quiet. Nothing he said helped; in fact he stood to lose a good deal. He was far from certain that conflict between them would not escalate to bloodshed if he provoked Envy, and this was unacceptable. As far as he was concerned, violence had its place, and that place was not between him and his lover. It was for practical reasons more than ideological ones: at a certain point, one has to trust that the person they're sleeping next to won't slit their throat, or things just don't work. Especially because, in the end, Envy was more of a danger to him than he was to Envy.

This is not to say, however, that he merely took anything Envy dished out. Envy got mad, Kimblee got revenge. He did not engage Envy when Envy went off on him – and not afterwards, either. When Envy made him mad, he shut Envy out. Anger, for Kimblee, was whatever made the object of anger suffer to the greatest extent. In Envy's case that was rejection. Something as simple as the silent treatment might have struck him as pedantic in terms of revenge-taking, had it not worked so well. Why engage in combat, when Envy could be brought so low, just with a bit of cold shoulder? When to do nothing at all was more painful than any bodily harm he might inflict.

If Envy's anger was fire, than his was freezing chill. Envy might rant and rage and storm off in a huff, but it was never more than a day before Envy was back at his doorstop. He could predict almost to the hour that quiet, almost timid tap on his door. The sound itself was reticent, an apology. But the door never opened. There was usually a second knock, a few minutes after the first; as though Envy was making sure he heard. He did. And the door still didn't open.

He wondered if Envy would ever go father in either direction – either try and force its way in, or cease to show up at his door each night. Neither thing ever happened. Envy never did more than knock, and never did less, either.

He was not pitiless – in general or when it came to Envy in specific. He was quite capable of mixing the two, ruthlessness with sympathy, punishment with love. His cruelty fed his pity, and he waited until it outweighed his abiding anger before he relented. What was the point of making up, if he still harbored resentment? Envy would just have to wait, however long it took.

Even when he did open the door, he wasn't about to act like nothing had happened. He was still reserved, as Envy stood on the threshold. Access to his home and good favor was not given away for free; Envy had to earn it back.

"Do you have something to say?"

"I'm sorry."

When he relented and let Envy in, he spent the rest of the night soothing its battered nerves. Envy always spent the night in his bed, but make-up sex was not a reality for them - not the first night following a feud, anyway. Envy was tense and brittle, still frozen; physical contact was simply to thaw out.

.

It was one of those nights, where the light was on under the door, but it did not open.

_At least I know he's here_. Envy must despondently, hand still resting lightly on the wood, as though poised to knock again. It leaned its head against the door a moment, closing its eyes. It knew it door wasn't going to open, but Envy still lacked the will to leave. This was as close to him as Envy was going to get. What was the point of going anywhere else?

"Could you _get_any more pathetic?" Pride muttered from nowhere in particular.

.

"So, he dumps you and you come running to me for comfort?"

Greed had discovered Envy sitting crouched down in a dark corner of the bar.

"He didn't dump me and I'm _not_ here for you." Envy snapped, glaring up at him.

"Oh? Why are you here then, the ambiance?"

"I'm here because Pride's not."

Pride distanced himself in all possible ways from Greed's 'depravity'. Monique's pub was one of the few places in Central where the shadows were merely shadows.

At this, Greed's expression softened ever so slightly. He took a seat on the floor next to Envy.

"He still butthurt?"

In spite of everything, Envy gave a slight, bitter smile at Greed's word choice.

"You could say that, yeah."

Greed said nothing, simply handed Envy his glass of bourbon. There was a moment of silence, then,

"Just why is he so pissed off, anyway?" Envy never would have deigned to ask Greed's opinion on anything, but having hit rock-bottom, there wasn't much left to lose. "I know he's not happy, but I'm not doing anything you and Lust haven't done plenty of times before."

"You are, though." It was almost funny, Greed reflected, how little Envy knew about itself. "Lust and I have used humans for amusement. She sometimes gets more attached than I do, but in the end they're just diversions. Pets, at best. None of them know who or what we are. None of them would accept it, or even understand it."

He looked at Envy over the tops of his sunglasses, unusually serious. "I'm guessing it's different in your case. You might be fucking a human, but you're doing a lot more besides."

When he put it that way, Envy understood. A little too well.

_So I, Envy, am more attached to a human than Greed and Lust have ever been? That's rich. _

Envy would be mad at itself if it could. If someone had told Envy this is how things would play out, it would have _begged _Pride to kill Kimblee, if that's what it took to avoid this: not only falling for a human, but now being rejected by one. Envy was just a bit disgusted with itself, looking at it that way. Not that it regretted anything that had happened. Except the fight. That was indeed regrettable.

Envy took a long gulp of the bourbon. Then choked, coughing spasmodically.

"Too strong for you?" Greed asked, looking at Envy with a frown.

"You…just…gave me something." Envy managed.

"It's just a drink. It wasn't even full." He spoke as much to convince himself as Envy. "Compared to what you cost me last time it's a fuckin' drop in the bucket."

"Drop more than you've ever given me before."

"Don't make me kick you out."

"It's true!"

And it was.

"Don't get used to it."

"Just take it back." Envy thrust the glass at Greed.

"Take the damn drink."

Envy dropped it on the floor to shatter, glaring at Greed all the while.

"Why are you such a bitch?" Greed shouted, jumping to his feet. "It's no fucking wonder he kicked you out!"

"Because you're an asshole!" Envy said, also rising. "It's a wonder everyone doesn't hate you as much as I do!"

They stared at each other, poised to fight. Then Greed realized what had changed. Envy was gendered now. Whether male or female, his sibling was rarely asexual anymore.

And, to complicate matters further, Envy was female at the moment. It hadn't been obvious when she had been sitting hunkered down in the shadows, but when standing up ready to fight, there was clearly more to Envy's chest than muscular pecks, especially when Envy's arms and legs were more slender than usual, and now that he was paying attention her hips were just a bit wider. The smell was also different. It was still Envy's scent, but underlined with pheromones not normally present; also not something he would have noticed had he not been looking for it.

This was a complication for two reasons, the first of which being that he hated to fight women.

The second reason was a conflict of interests. He wanted her, suddenly and intensely. And yet knew he stood to lose more than he gained in that desire. He recoiled from the craving reflexively. He had never wanted Envy. He had told himself it was because of Envy's spite, bitterness and ugly self-loathing. But in fact, he realized, it had been because there had been nothing there to want until now.

_It wasn't a lie. _He told himself. _Just a mistake. _

He'd mistook himself for being smarter than he was. He had never _wanted_ to want Envy. But it didn't matter, because all the years, the decades, the century and a half of that mistake was coming back to bite him in the ass, now that he was faced with something he wanted and should have had a long time ago.

So. He couldn't fight Envy. And all hell would break loose if he did anything _else _with Envy. He made the only choice available to him, which was to turn and run from the pub.

Envy stared after him, utterly confused.

"What the hell?"

.

_Knock knock knock! _

Kimblee was sitting on the couch in the living room, various notes and sketched transmutation circles and diagrams spread out in front of him on the coffee table, along with a cup of tea and the remains of dinner. It didn't sound like Envy's knock at the door, but he still didn't answer, late as it was.

_Knock! Knock! _

Sounded rather insistent. Perhaps it was his neighbors complaining once more about all the boisterous late nights. They would have their quiet tonight, at least.

_Crash – WHAM! _

Or not, as his door was kicked in.

"We need to talk." Greed said, striding through the now unobstructed doorway.

Kimblee covered his face with one hand, briefly. After parting ways with one angry homunculus, he was in no mood to deal with another. "Was it really necessary to break down my door?"

"You're an alchemist, just clap and fix it."

It was easier said than done, but Greed didn't seem in the mood to have that explained.

"What's so pressing, then?"

"I warned you." Greed said, pointing at him. "I warned you about the monstrosity's shitty attitude. You don't get to back out now!"

"Quite frankly, it's none of your business."

It was as close to angry as Greed had ever seen him; he was surprised, but unfazed. What was his anger, compared to Envy's?

"It is my business, even if I don't like it. If you're dealing with Envy, you're dealing with all of us."

Kimblee frowned slightly. "Even if that's the case, what does it matter to you? What are you getting out of this, oh avaricious one?"

"Envy, being a bitch to someone who's not me."

"You've survived this long. I'm sure you'll manage." He stood up and walked past Greed to where his door lay on the ground, lifting it from where it had fallen. "Hold it in the frame, will you?"

Greed did so while Kimblee repaired the splintered wood and bent hinges. It wasn't his best work; the door still showed that it had had alchemy used on it. But at least it functioned as a door again. With that done, he turned to Greed once more.

"So, you're offering me relationship advice? Somehow I doubt your credentials, unless your suggestion is to watch what you do and then do the opposite."

"Just because we don't get along doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about." Having spent decades as Envy's Ultimate Punching Bag, he knew the patterns of his sibling's anger like the changing of the seasons. "I don't know what you're fighting about, and I don't want to know. Like you said, none of my business. But it doesn't matter, because the real problem lies elsewhere."

"When Envy's angry, the problem seems to be everything and nothing."

"That's because you don't see the whole picture. Like I said, when you deal with one of us you deal with all of us. Envy's problem is Pride."

"I assume you're referring to a sibling rather than a personality trait."

"Right. Envy's _personality _is beyond help, but as far as family goes I can give you a few pointers. Pride isn't stupid. He knows that he can't kill you. He knows that Envy can't kill him. _And_, he knows that Envy vents frustration on whatever happens to be nearby."

"I don't follow."

"It isn't that complicated. Pride is a bitch to Envy. Envy is a bitch to you. If you come to a bad end because of Envy's temper, Pride gets what he wants, without harming a hair on your head."

"You're saying Pride is trying to goad Envy into killing me?" His voice was dubious. "Seems a bit of a stretch."

"You clearly see a different side of Envy than I do. But even if Envy wouldn't kill you, it's not a stretch to say that a lot could go wrong. The worse that happens, the better he'd like it, but I doubt he's really too picky on the details."

"It still strikes me as a little far-fetched…"

"It's working, though, isn't it? If it seems that unbelievable, apparently Pride knows little _Invidia _better than you do."

"What is Pride?"

"You don't wanna know."

"And if I do?"

"I wouldn't say it if it weren't the truth. That secret is worth more than your life in keeping."

At that point there came the sound of quick footsteps down the hall, and the ear-splitting cacophony of the door getting kicked in again, by Envy this time.

"Be gentile with it, I paid a lease on this place!"

Envy, however, had no attention to spare for Kimblee, its focus fixed entirely on Greed.

"You fucking snake! You find out we had a fight and you close in the same day?"

Envy lunged at Greed, who dodged, circling back towards the door.

"Easy Leviathan, I'm not stealing your human!"

"No, you're not! You're getting beaten to a bloody pulp!" Envy grabbed the coffee table and threw it at Greed, scattering papers and dishes. Greed ducked, and the table instead hit the wall, creating a second doorway from Kimbee's bedroom to the living room.

As Greed dodged the table, Envy quickly darted up from the other side and pounced on him, and the two homunculi dissolved into a tangle of blows, bites, and foul language. Kimblee side-stepped the humanoid tornado as he darted into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a bucket full of water, which he promptly emptied over the battling siblings' heads.

"If you're going to fight,take it outside. I'd rather not be evicted."

His voice was level. He was not dismayed at the fighting itself, only the material damage on his part. Neither Greed nor Envy seemed to know exactly how to respond, merely staring at him for a moment, frozen in the midst of grappling. Greed had apparently been winning; he had managed to more or less pin Envy to the floor, a knee on the small of its back and an arm around its neck from behind. He let loose his hold and stood, shaking the water from his hair in a manner reminiscent of a dog.

"It started it."

"I did not; you started it by coming here!"

"I don't care who started it, I'm _ending_ it."

"Right." Greed turned towards the door. "I'll let you handle it from here on out. Have _fun_."

As his footsteps had retreated down the hall, Envy's demeanor changed. It looked around at the demolished apartment, noticing with chagrin the hole in the wall, the wrecked furniture, shattered dishes, scattered papers and broken door. And, to top it all off, Envy wasn't welcome there in the first place.

Kimbee's eyes traveled over all these things as well and, finally, onto Envy, crouched in the center of the chaos. Then he laughed, and Envy didn't quite believe what it was hearing.

"If there was ever a doubt we belonged together…"

He took a few steps forward and knelt in front of Envy so they were face to face in the rubble. It was a fitting place for both of them. Envy, if possible, looked even more tense than before.

"Why are you not mad? You should be pissed. You're not being nice because you cheated on me with him, are you?"

"No."

"I'll pay for the broken stuff." Its eyes fell. "And leave now, if you want."

"Or you could stay, and tell me about Pride."

A flicker of surprise passed across Envy's face.

"What did Greed tell you?"

"Not much. Merely that you might have something to tell me."

"Pride is just pissed, the same as he has been. I wonder if Lust and Greed had to go through the same thing, the first time they had a partner that wasn't each other…"

"Really? The two of them?"

"Uh-huh. My family doesn't have incest taboos. We're both more and less than blood relations, and we can't have children anyway so it's not like it matters. She was as close to being enough for him as anyone could be. But that only made it worse, when she still wasn't."

"And would Pride rather see you with one of them?"

"Pride would have me be like himself." Envy smiled, although there was nothing happy in it. "In a lot of ways, I guess I am. Or I was…"

"And then I ruined you?"

"As he sees it, yes."

"And he's making life…unpleasant for you, as a result?"

"It's nothing that bad. Father permitted it, so there's not much Pride _can _do."

"But he's not doing nothing." Greed had said that Pride was the problem. He didn't lie, and didn't seem to be mistaken. 'Not much' was clearly enough, in this case. Enough to make their lives hell.

"Just talk." Envy said with a shrug. "Which he does. All the damn time; he never shuts up. But it's not as big a deal as Greed seems to have led you to believe."

"What does he talk to you about?"

"He just…reminds me of all the things I already know."

"That humans are inferior?"

Envy shook its head. "Not so much anymore. He gave up on that line of argument when he realized I don't care what you are. _He_ still finds it relevant, but he knows it's not effective."

"What is effective?"

"Only what I've seen, that bonds between people crumble like sand-castles. They can be destroyed by the slightest thing. And how foolish it is, to place faith in anyone…" Envy shrugged again. "Didn't you say the same, that you'd lost faith in humanity? And my kind isn't any better when it comes to personal attachments. We're no worse or better, simply more honest."

"And it leaves you with little faith in anyone?"

Envy nodded.

"What about Greed?"

Envy frowned. "What about him?"

"He was trying to do something right by you tonight. It wasn't selfless, but it was with good intentions."

"For every one good thing Greed does, there are about ten-thousand ways he'll screw you over."

From the sudden heat in Envy's voice, it was clearly spoken from experience.

"You would know." Kimblee said, not willing to make an issue of it. "But don't judge me by the standards of your family. That's just plain unfair."

"But it's the standard I've seen everyone live up to. Or down to. How can I believe this is different?"

"There are exceptions to all rules. You can believe this is different because it _is_. If you want proof, isn't the two of us being here, having this conversation, proof enough?"

"What about before we were here, having this conversation? When I was kicked out, and Greed was here doing who-the-hell-knows-what, and maybe it wasn't anything bad this time, but what about next time, and the next, and the next?"

"Is that what you're worried about? I'm not going to be unfaithful."

"Among other things. And you say that tonight. What about tomorrow? When there are a million things that can go wrong?"

"I can't tell the future. But I believe what's between us will endure."

"Why?"

"Out of all the things that could have gone wrong, somehow _I'm _still here, when logic dictates I should never have made it this far. I believe that I was meant to live. And if I was meant to live, then I was clearly meant to live with you. How else would you explain something so bizarre, except that it was fate?"

"I guess both of us exist, even though it's supposedly impossible. You because of the circumstances of your birth, and me because I was born at all." Envy met his eyes, finally. "You really think fate is that kind?"

"Fate is not kind in the slightest. Not to me, and certainly not to you. But it's not all cruel either. It is what it is. And this seems to be it."

"I'm sorry. About everything." Envy gestured at the demolished apartment.

"I forgive you."

He opened his arms, and Envy went into them, burying its face into the crux of his neck, relishing in the smell and texture of his hair. Envy had never known forgiveness, just endless cycles of revenge and resentment.

"Just tell me what's happening from now on. I shouldn't hear it from Greed first."

"I will. I'll get better at this."

"Considering your family, you're not doing so badly as it is."

He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Envy in his arms. It wasn't quite over. They still had a thing or two to discuss, not to mention an apartment to clean. But that could wait.

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway. They both whipped around to see two uniformed men in the entrence.

"Um…we came to investigate a noise complaint…"

.

Outside in the nighttime rain, Greed knew Pride was there before he saw him. There was always that chill up his spine, that tension in the pit of his stomach. He knew Pride was there, and had been all along.

"What a kind big brother you are."

"I learned from the _best_." The word was like bile in Greed's throat.

"I know why you're really doing this. The human might have believed the reason you gave, but you can't fool me. I would have expected Envy to see it too, but Envy has been disappointing in so many regards, a bit of stupidity is hardly shocking."

"I didn't lie to him. My life is a lot easier without Envy bitching at me all the damn time."

"A lie by omission. In honesty you're uncommonly deceitful."

"Oh stop, you're making me blush."

"Your plan won't work. You know that. You know you can't _change _anything."

"I don't know that I can. But you don't know that I can't."

"We're only what He made us. You will never be more, and if you defy him, you will be nothing."

"You don't understand us as well as you like to believe. Envy's proved that."

"Envy has proven that Envy is weak. Nothing more."

"Strong enough to defy you."

"For now."

"And from now on. I'll see to that."

"Oh come off it." Pride scoffed. "Your hatred for Envy is surpassed only by your hatred of me."

"That's why I'm doing it to spite you. If it means Envy gets to be in _wuv_ and leaves me the hell alone, that's a fringe benefit." He grinned into the darkness. "It's fuckin' hilarious, you know. Seeing you get so bent out of shape. And over a human, no less."

"Enjoy it while you can. Like I said, this changes nothing."

.

(A/N: Greed has ulterior motives, and because he does then Pride does too. Not trying to explain what said ulterior motives are here, just show that they exist. And I can't write about any couple without taking them through at least one fight. No relationship is rainbows and hot sex all the time, that's just not how it works. And in my experience, the worst fights can be triggered by the stupidest little details. Thanks to Matty H for pointing out the typos in the previous chapters :)

A little something else: my song for Envy is Faceless, by Red, and for Kimblee Undisclosed Desires by Muse. It's damn hard to find good songs for Kimblee for some reason. And every time I hear Give Me Everything by Pitbull, I can't help but think of Greed in a kind of humorous way. Thanks for reading!)


	31. Down Payment

There were times when Envy would vanish without notice, although Kimblee was never left wondering for long where the homunculus had gone or what it was doing. During each of Envy's absences, there was usually a notable instance in the news involving Ishbalan terrorists, criminals and insurgents. Usually just one, although there were sometimes accomplices. It got to the point where, upon Envy's disappearance, Kimblee would make a bet with himself as to the number of days before the latest story broke. _Stoke the flames of hatred_, Envy had said to him. _Sooner or later the fire will spread. _

It was spreading alright. From what Kimblee overheard, many of his fellow Amestrians seemed to hold the opinion that Ishbalans were violent, treacherous heathens good for nothing but spilling blood. Kimblee could only watch in fascination as Envy spun its web.

"You're becoming quite the national celebrity." He murmured to Envy one night as they lay in bed, listening to the radio recounting a story on an Ishbalan who had held seven hostages in a church for days. In the end he had killed them all, before turning the gun on himself.

"Dunno what you're talking about." The sin purred, curling just a bit closer to him. "Those Ishbalans...what _will_ the Führer do about them?"

.

One night while Envy was away, Kimblee came home to find Greed lying on his couch smoking a cigar.

_Dear god, it's like I've married into the mafia. _

"Hello…"

"Our bet still on?" Greed said, sitting up and cutting right to the chase.

"I never called it off." Kimblee said, shrugging of his military jacket and hanging it on the rack by door. "Although I can't imagine Envy agreeing to any such thing." He deposited his hat on top of it.

"Let me worry about that. Your agreement is all I need at the moment."

"You have it, on one condition."

"And that is?"

"Be respectful about it. Don't do anything to Envy that I wouldn't."

"Didn't you blow Envy up like five times the night you met?"

"Eight. But that was before we were involved. With individuals as murderous as ourselves, intimacy and violence are a truly complicated mixture."

"It doesn't get more complicated than this, my friend." Greed said, exhaling a long coil of smoke.

"Another good reason not to complicate it further."

"Point taken. I'll placate the Leviathan as best I can."

"You could start by not referring to Envy as such."

"Would you prefer '_Invidia'_?"

"Why not ask Envy what it prefers? It would be a good ice-breaker."

"Much obliged for the advice, but leave the ice-breaking to me." Greed stood up and made his way towards the door.

"Leaving so soon?"

"I need to formulate my plan of attack." He grinned as he drew level with Kimblee in the entryway. "Kiss for luck?"

Kimblee kissed his index and middle finger, then reached out and pressed them to Greed's lips.

Greed snorted. "What kind of luck is that?"

"Consider it a down payment."

Greed laughed. As he brushed past Kimblee in the doorway, his hand shot out, quick as a snake, and slapped the alchemist firmly on the ass.

"Now that's the kind of luck I'm talking about." He said as he shut the door behind him.

.

(A/N: Consider this chapter _my _down payment, as there might not be another one for a while. I moved recently, and haven't managed to get internet in my new place (RAGE! DX). I wrote and posted this from another computer, but that strategy is ill-adapted to longer, more, *ahem* _involved _sequences. So while I am working on the rest of the story at home, I have no way of getting what I write from my computer to the internet for the time being. Just so y'all know I haven't forgotten you. This story and it's readers still mean the world to me! ^_^

Also, for the people who have read and enjoyed both _Many Kinds of Monsters_ and _The Untold Story _(I think there is at least one of you...) you may get a kick out of Mergoat's "A Wizard Walks Into a Bar" crossover fic. It was a just-for-fun IM with a very good friend, and he went ahead and posted it for the lullz. It still need some serious editing, but it may amuse you while I get my basted internet problems sorted out. Thanks for reading!)


	32. Tactics

Greed gazed through the hotel-room window, through which the sun was just beginning to rise. There was a human asleep on either side of him; a set of dark-haired twins, brother and sister. They were village people of humble origin, having arrived in Central only a few months ago with a mind to see the world raise their station. He had been glad to indoctrinate them to the joys and debaucheries of city life. He liked the way they were the female and male equivalent of one another. They had been relatively difficult to win over, and yet…

Not difficult enough. They saw what he wanted to show them, took what he wanted to give, accepted what he offered and never demanded more. They were toys. And ones he was tiring of. Oh, they were pretty enough, but they were nothing to what he wanted. He didn't have the advantage of deep and total denial. Greed knew exactly why he did what he did, and exactly what he wanted. In this case, it wasn't a pair of twins.

He grinned into the semi-darkness, showing a trace of sharp fangs. He was in the mood for a challenge.

.

A prime opportunity to undertake said challenge came sooner than he might have expected when, later that week, he discovered Envy once again lurking in the shadows near the back of Monique's tavern. He smirked into his tankard of beer. When he wanted something, things had a way of falling into place. He downed the rest of his drink leaned across the bar towards Monique.

"Two more for the back wall." He said, nodding in Envy's direction. He then stood and made his way through the crowd. Envy did it's best to look nonchalant as Greed approached.

"Kicked out again?" Greed said, and immediately regretted it. What kind of charming pickup line was that? Barbs and insults just came so naturally where Envy was concerned. He attributed this to habit, and the fact that Envy was so easily offended in the first place.

Envy glared, and replied in a chilly yet calm tone, "He's away on assignment. Still has to do his job, even though the lab stuff's suspended."

"I thought his job was doing you."

"Right, because dad would fund that."

In Greed's opinion, it would be well worth the money if it curbed Envy's temper. Then again, Father wasn't the one facing gratuitous damage to his person and property when Envy was in a bad mood. Greed realized, however, that stating this opinion wouldn't help his cause. He tried a different tactic.

"Why are you here then? Pride still giving you trouble?" When attempting to interact amicably with Envy, he decided a good first step would be to bring up the one person Envy hated more than himself – sort of a decoy situation.

"No, in fact." Envy's voice did soften slightly at that. "He's let up considerably. I don't know why, but I'm sure as hell not complaining."

There was a moment of silence.

"So, you came just to visit me then?" Blunt, but he couldn't think of anything else.

The truth was, Envy had been lonely. It had grown accustomed to companionship over the last several months, and it was much harder, now, for Envy to convince itself it didn't care whether it was alone. So it sought the presence of others to assuage the absence, or at least distract from it.

"Oh yes," Envy said sarcastically, not prepared to admit any of its inner motives in the present company. "Then I'm gonna treat Gluttony to as much food as he wants and ask Wrath to tell me all about how great his wife is."

"You two could compare notes."

"What, Kimblee's my wife now?" Said Envy with a snort.

"Spouse, I meant." Greed amused himself for a moment imagining Envy and Kimblee in a matrimonial situation. _And do you, Zolf J. Kimblee, take this… thing…as your lawfully wedded…wi…hus…uh…fuck this, I give up. _

"What are you ginning about?" Envy asked, eyes narrowed slightly.

"Nothing much." Greed shook his head.

"Liar."

"It wasn't a lie, it was an evasion."

Envy rolled it's eyes. "You should've been a damn lawyer."

_And you should have been a one-act freak show._

Damn it, why could he think of nothing but insults?

He was saved by the awkward silence by Monique bringing their drinks. She cast a dark look at Envy.

"Don't fuckn' trash my place this time."

"Don't fucking shoot me this time."

"Won't shoot you if ya don't trash my place."

"I'll be civil if he is." Envy said, jerking its thumb at Greed.

"I'll be civil if you don't waste my money." Greed responded.

"As opposed to using it very wisely and prudently on whores, drugs and booze?"

"Exactly."

Envy rolled its eyes again. "Forget it, I'm outta this dive."

It made to leave, but Greed reached out and grabbed Envy's shoulder. Envy was indeed in a better mood than usual, as it did not sever his hand, merely slapped it away.

"What?" Envy snapped, turning back around and regarding Greed with irritation.

"We're all civil here tonight." Greed held out one tankard of beer. "At least try some of this. It's a good brew tonight."

Envy looked at the beverage as though suspecting it would bite. In truth, Envy was surprised the drink was meant for it, having assumed that they were both for Greed.

"Come on, just a sip, it's not poisoned." He pushed the cup against Envy's mouth.

Envy leaned back with a frown, but took the tankard from Greed's hand. "I can drink it myself, thanks."

It did so, although the quality of beer, like wine, was something Envy had little sense of. This particular drink sat uneasily in Envy's stomach, although it had nothing to do with the substance itself, and everything to do with where it came from. Envy resented it, how he could give so casually when he chose, as though it were nothing. It was a biting reminder of all Greed had, and all Envy didn't - and that wasn't in terms of material possessions. There was a time when a simple drink would have meant everything to Envy, if it had come from Greed. There had been a time when he _was_ everything.

Envy had never and would never admit this, but the suppressed knowledge was certainly enough to turn it's stomach.

Monique sighed and headed back to the bar, hoping against hope to avoid copious violence in her establishment.

Envy licked a bit of froth of its lip, and then looked at Greed again. "So, what do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't play coy. Buying me a drink, being all chummy – what are you after?"

"You."

There was yet another moment of silence in which they both stared at one another, expressions guarded, unfathomable.

"That joke got old a long time ago." Envy said, showing no surprise or even anger. It was true that Greed, while honest, would make factually untrue statements in the spirit of sincere sarcasm. Referring to Envy as desirable or appealing had fallen into that category often enough. Until, as Envy had said, it had gotten old, and stopped eliciting any sort of reaction.

"What if I'm not joking?" He knew it wasn't enough, but he didn't know what 'enough' would be. Couldn't find the words. Even if he could convince Envy, it was clear the younger sin was anything but receptive.

"Forget it." Envy said, turning to leave again, shoving the tankard into the hands of the nearest person as it went without bothering to see who they were.

This time Greed did not attempt to stop Envy from leaving. As he watched his sibling walk away, he felt suddenly, strangely…powerless. Powerless to make Envy stay or, even more, to make any good come of it if Envy did.

He took another swig of beer, but it tasted sour in his mouth now.

"There's no way there's no way." He muttered his favorite adage under his breath. Even though he didn't lie, he didn't quite believe it.


	33. Vicarious

(A/N: It's...been...so...long! *Keels over* Whatever delays may beset it, however, I will not abandon this story. I have too many cool things planned for it! XD)

.

Upon returning from his assignment, Kimblee discovered an eviction noticed taped to his door, and Greed once again on his couch waiting for him, cigar in one hand and bottle of whiskey in the other.

Kimblee sighed. _Here we go…_"Hello again."

"I've lost it." Greed said, staring at the ceiling despondently.

"Lost what?"

"My talent. My art. My life – no, the thing that makes life worth living."

"You lost your money?"

"What? Hell no! You think I'm that materialistic?"

"Yes…"

Greed shook his head impatiently. "Money can be lost and regained. Same as most things in life. What I've lost goes much deeper."

"And what is that?" Kimblee asked, hanging up his coat and dropping his suitcase on the floor beneath it. It seemed unpacking would have to wait.

"The ability to get what I want. I've gone dry. Drawing a blank."

"Not sure I follow."

"Envy."

"You've lost Envy?"

"No, I've lost..._it._ My charm, my mojo, whatever you wanna call it! I've never had anyone I've wanted that I just…couldn't… _get_." Greed raised one arm, grasping at the air as though it was the thing which evaded him. "Until now."

"In defense of your, uh, 'mojo', it doesn't seem like you've been making much of an effort."

"Until now I've never cared to. But now that I _do_,I just…" He trailed off and sighed, then held out an unlit cigar. "Want?"

"Sure." Kimblee didn't habitually smoke, but he had been known to accept what was offered. Particularly in this case, as he knew Greed would have the best of everything, including tobacco.

"How the hell did you manage it anyway?" Greed said, as their twin trails of smoke met and coiled around each other in the air. "Counsel me, Oh family counselor."

"I don't know…" Kimblee said, taking a seat in the armchair across from the couch. "Patience and nerve, I suppose." He took a long drag off the cigar, savoring the rich flavor. "But it's not all in what I did. Envy and I are well-suited to one another. Were we less so, things may have played out differently."

"No shit." Greed said with a laugh. "In all earnestness, did the thought ever cross your mind that Envy might _kill _you?"

A slow smile spread across Kimblee's face. "You speak of that as though it's a deterrent. To me, life is meaningless without death nipping at its heels. I would never have been so attracted without that element of risk." He shook his head. "But that's neither here not there. Whatever your problem is, fear of death doesn't seem to be it."

"It isn't fear in any form. It's simply that I can't see any path from where I am now, to where I want to get, with Envy."

"And where is that?"

"Uh...bed, couch, hot-tub, closet, back seat of a car - I'm not so picky on location."

"I mean, is that your only aim? Just another body to fuck, albeit more malleable than most?"

"When you put it that way I'd love to say yes. Nice and simple."

"If I know anything about your family, it's that nothing is nice and nothing is simple."

Greed laughed again, although it was bitter this time. "Exactly. As for what I want, why, I want a lot of things. I want Envy, and I want you, but most of all I want the two of you together. I want to be a part of what the two of you are, to experience what you do."

"Which is...?"

"Love." Greed raised one eyebrow. "Didn't you know that's what it is?"

"I have no use for that term." There was a touch of impatience in his voice. "It is a poetic abstraction which has little or nothing to do with reality."

"It's the word for what you have if there is one. Now, my opinion of love is that it's great. Totally worth having if you can, but not worth more than everything else. And therein lies my dilemma: the nature of love is that it precedes everything else in the life of it's subject. You don't own love, love owns you."

Kimblee had to think about that one for a moment. Did Envy precede every other thing in his life? It was a difficult question to answer, as Envy was intertwined with everything his life had become; the proverbial white rabbit he had pursued into this dark wonderland. But what about the work he did, using his alchemy towards the disruption of the world as he knew it? He was doing that _with_ Envy, not for Envy per se. It was a large part of the bond between them, but he had taken this path with naught but his own interest in mind.

And yet, what meaning would that path have, without Envy walking it beside him? Solitude he could have in any world, old or new - in Father's kingdom or the realm of humanity alike. But isolation was not true freedom. Not for a human, at any rate, and he was apparently just human enough to see it that way. One's own mind and personal identity could be as much a prison as any four walls of stone, if one was trapped therein. Envy had given him the one thing no one else had, a way out of himself. The freedom to exist honestly, if only in the eyes of just one person.

Could that be what love was, being freer with someone than you would be without them? It was, he imagined, the closest he could come to reconciling hypothetical absolutes with subjective and ever-ambiguous reality. A kind of love in which even he could find meaning.

"Suppose what we have could be called love, then." He said after a pause, still finding that world strange on his tongue. "I can see how it would run counter to your nature."

"And yet my nature is to want everything."

"Okay, so you want to experience love vicariously. Why does it have to be ours?"

"I don't have a lot of options in that regard. It's a damn rare thing."

"You must be joking. Humans do nothing but carry on about love morning, noon and night. I've had people profess to love _me_, when they've seen only my blandest and most banal mask."

"That's the point, Lotus Flower, there are a lot of cheap knock-offs. The truth is, humans rarely love each other. Your kind love the idea of love - the poetic abstraction, as you put it. They're so stuck on that ideal they'll pin it on anyone and everyone they can. You know how little that's worth. They're just reciting lines in a play."

"What about your kind?" Kimblee asked, eager to explore this unexpectedly insightful side of Greed. "What ideals do your kind hold dear?"

"We don't believe in ideals. We don't believe in anything outside ourselves. That's why you get along so well with us, you have no illusions left."

"...You're a lot more complicated than you let on."

"Yeah, I can think with my head as well as with my dick, if that's what you mean." He said with a wry smile. "Older I get, the less I see the point though. Past, future - all these things people think are so damn important - they're just more of your so-called poetic abstractions. They'll weigh you down, get in the way of the moment. _Now_ is the only thing with any real value."

There was a note of surprising melancholy in the homunculus's voice. It stirred a memory of something Envy had said about Greed, what seemed like a hundred years ago, soon after Kimblee had been introduced to all of them.

_Greed…well, I don't have to tell you how he is. And Father has some pretty high ambitio__ns of his own. They can't both own the world._

_Your Father must know this. _Kimblee had said, still relatively naive as to their family dynamic.

_He knows. And Greed knows he knows. We all know it's just a matter of time._

Small wonder Greed didn't love to dwell on the future, didn't place any value in it. He had no future. The roaring flames of his own avarice would consume him.

For the first time, he thought he saw what was so enticing about Greed - beyond his looks or his physique, his confidence or power. He was doomed. Tragically, irrevocably doomed. Knowingly condemned, unrepentant, with a smile on his face even as the noose tightened around his neck. Very few lives were worth saving in Kimblee's opinion, and yet Greed's was undoubtedly one of those few. Who could resist the urge to try and save this man, flawed as a priceless diamond? Even Kimblee might be tempted to try, if he were not already bound to another.

As if conjured by thought, there came the sound of footsteps in the hall, and the apartment door being opened.

"There's an eviction notice on your door if you didn't see it." Envy said, coming into the room. "Want me to stop by the office and rough them up or - " It stopped dead as the scene registered.

"It's not what it looks like." Greed said, sitting up, already bracing for an attack.

"It's pretty much exactly what it looks like." Kimblee remarked, wondering idly how much would get broken this time.

Envy ignored Greed entirely, walking over to stand in front of Kimblee's chair, planting one foot upon it in a domineering manner. It snatched the cigar from between his fingers, and without so much as a wince, crushed the live ember in it's hand.

"Smoking is bad for humans."

Envy's voice was heavy with quiet threat. It looked so intimidating towering over him, Kimblee suddenly regretted that Envy hadn't just attacked Greed as per usual. Perhaps that was a potential benefit in including Greed in their relationship. He _was _the Ultimate Shield, after all, why not make good on his name?

"I'll just being going then..." Greed said, apparently holding the opposite opinion. He was already edging towards the door.

"Oh why?" Envy said with feigned lightness, turning its venomous glare onto Greed. "We so _love _your company. Maybe you ought to stay for dinner?"

"I'd like to, but whenever I look at your face I loose my appetite." _Fuck my life, why can't I think of anything but insults?! _- was the gist of Greed's thoughts as Envy chased him from the apartment.

.

(A/N: Just when you think a lecture on the philosophical nature of freedom is dry, you find ways to reference it in your slash fanfiction -_-' Shame I'll be dropping that class. Thanks for reading!)


	34. Cause for Jealousy

Dinner preparations were silent, as tense as though Greed were still present. Envy chopped vegetables as though it had a personal vendetta against them. Kimblee was suddenly very tired of it all – Greed's voracity, Pride's scheming, Envy's fierce insecurities, and above all else his part in it all.

"Is this the way you're going to be," he said, when the silence became unbearable, "every time I have a friend over?"

Envy slammed down the knife with emphatic impact, turning to face him with eyes flashing. At least Envy had set down the knife.

"He's not your friend! He's my brother. I know him better than you ever will, and I know he can't be trusted."

"Can't _I_ be trusted?"

Envy regarded him a moment, as though asking itself the same question. Finally,

"…Pride says you're hiding something from me."

"And you believe him?"

"Is he lying?"

Was he? Kimblee frowned. He certainly wasn't above being a traitor, but he preferred to at least _know_ when he was. When exactly had this become a secret, a clandestine plot? And yet since it apparently _was_, he didn't see it as his plot to unveil.

"Ask Greed first. If he doesn't tell you than I will, but you ought to hear it from him." Let Greed try and explain, deal with the fallout. It was his damn idea in the first place.

"So there is something." Envy's voice was resigned; defeated.

"It's not my intention to hide anything from you. It's just…there are things that are for him to say, not me. It isn't my place to say."

Whatever was between the two siblings – love, hate, both, neither, everything and more – he wasn't up to acting as their interpreter.

"Isn't that the same as hiding things?"

"Talk to him, and then you tell me."

.

A short while later, Greed caught sight of Envy lurking in the dark corners of his usual haunt. At any other time he might just have ignored his sibling, yet in the way which he was always drawn to things he wanted, he found himself shrugging off the company of his human companions, both male and female, and cutting a straight line through the crowd.

Upon seeing his approach, Envy turned and slipped out the backdoor, out into the ally which ran behind the pub. Often, drunks and beggars could be found there, but that night was too cold. Greed's breath rose in pale clouds, as he joined Envy outside.

Envy's body showed no such signs of warmth or life. The look on its face was unfamiliar to Greed. The younger sin didn't look mad, but still seemed far from happy.

"Enough." Said Envy, when they stood facing each other.

"Of what?"

"Of this, whatever you're doing. I know threats won't get me far with you. It'd probably just encourage you. So I'm asking: please, don't come between us." He recognized the look on Envy's face then. Fear. Desperation. "I'll do anything; give you anything. Replace the cars if you want, although it'll take a while. Name it. Just don't ruin this for me."

"You think that's what I'm trying for?" Greed's voice was quiet. This wasn't going at all according to plan. He found he didn't know how to confront this side of Envy.

"I know you had your eye on him. Am I supposed to believe you conveniently decided to step aside when I got in the way?" Envy shook its head. "I know you better."

"I'll admit I want him. No point in denying that, but I'm not trying to ruin things between you two."

"In _your _mind you're probably just looking for another fun night, but it will sure as hell ruin things for me if it's with him."

"What if it's with you?"

There was a moment of silence. Then Envy laughed, a dry and bitter sound.

"So that's your approach – get me to cheat on him first? It's a long shot, but I'll grant it's not a bad strategy. Short of you raping him, that's the only possible scenario where I wouldn't kill him for having sex with you, so you're even being relatively considerate. Well played."

And it was back to same old irrational, bitter denial. Greed took in a deep breath, fighting irritation. "What can I say, to make you believe that I want you, and he has nothing to do with that?"

"What you just said, but not phrased as question." Envy had played enough of Greed's games to know the line between deception and an outright lie.

"I want you, and he has nothing to do with that." Greed said, levelly.

There was a moment of shocked silence in which Envy stared at him, expressionless. But the typical anger and suspicion quickly surfaced again.

"What if this is your first lie? You can at any time, you know. You just choose not to."

"You just said you'd believe me if I said that!" Greed exclaimed, incredulous.

"I'm not the one who claims to be honest all the time, am I? Since you love the truth so much, this is it: there is nothing you can say that will make me trust you! Because I know you don't want me! The only thing you've ever wanted is to hurt me!"

"Now that _is_ a lie and you well know it!" Greed lost his temper at last. "I never wanted anything to do with you one way or another, and you couldn't stand that. You're the one who's wanted to hurt me. You're the one who brought hate into it."

"That's bullshit!"

"I don't lie, sweetheart. Not today."

"Don't call me that! I'd prefer monstrosity if it's a choice between the two!" Although cold, Envy was on fire with hatred for it's brother - his cruelty, his disdain, his selfish manipulation. It was surpassed only by hatred for itself, for still, somehow, _wanting_ Greed in spite of everything. Envy felt physically ill with loathing.

"Why the hell do you always do this?!" Greed demanded. "If there's anything I hate, it's that –the way you'd throw everything away out of petty spite."

"I'm not throwing away anything that wasn't ruined a long time ago." A deranged grin split Envy's face. "You say you want me? Fine. Fuck me right here and now, if you promise you'll leave us alone after that." Envy spread its arms wide. "Here I am, take your only chance!"

"You're sick."

"And you're a filthy lair."

"I am not. Charm like yours would turn off anyone." He turned back towards the door to the pub. "We'll see how long it takes with him." Greed paused on the threshold, returning the hateful smile. "I don't need to mess things up between the two of you, you know. You're good enough at ruining things all by yourself."

Greed slammed the door behind him. The sound seemed to echo in Envy's mind.

In the dark, Pride laughed. It wasn't cruel. It didn't have to be. The genuine amusement was dreadful enough.

"Your human threw you to Greed like a bone. I've been wrong the whole time Envy, you're so _loved_."

.

From the moment his door burst open, Kimblee knew nothing good had come of Envy and Greed's conversation. Figured.

"How could you do this?" Envy asked, standing in front of him where he sat on the couch, book in hand.

"What have I done?" He asked, marking his place and setting his reading aside.

"Whore me out to my worst enemy!"

"Is that what Greed said? Or is that Pride's take on the situation?"

Envy felt a moment's surprise at the human's grasp of their family dynamic, but it wasn't enough to assuage Envy's anger.

"So what if it is?! At least he tells me things!"

"Pride tells you what he believes will hurt you."

That was true, but it didn't make Envy feel any better about the whole thing. Bad as Pride's intentions were, what he said had been true enough, hadn't it? _Greed, how do you even tell where truth ends and lies begin? I'm lost in between. And damn it, why am I thinking about you? _

"And it would be so easy for you, to see me with someone else?" Envy demanded. "How can that not hurt me?"

"If it was an experience we shares and enjoyed, it wouldn't need to be hurtful. If that's not possible – and I never expected it would be – consider the option closed. You'll never hear another word about it."

Option closed. But it wasn't closed, something like that couldn't _be _closed once it was opened. Not where Envy was concerned. Not where _Greed _was concerned.

"You wanted him enough to risk me." Envy said. "Everything we have, for the chance to have him, too."

"What was I risking? If you didn't want him, he was yours to turn down."

"But you want him. _You _didn't turn him down."

"I chose you."

"And yet you chose to try and get a little extra."

"Invidia…When all I say only incriminates me further, what _can _I say?"

Nothing, and Envy said it, turning on its heel and slamming the door behind it.

.

For the second time that night, Greed was visited by someone who he would have liked to see, under any different circumstances. Kimblee was more direct than Envy, walking up to where Greed sat with cards in hand and chips on the table in front of him. Kimblee said nothing, merely stood there in silence, waiting.

"Right." Greed said at length, chagrined. "So I fucked up."

"You did." Kimblee leaned down, heedless of the other players, so that Greed could no longer avoid his eyes. "You broke this. You _fix _it."

Greed sighed. Fair enough, so why did it seem like such a raw deal?

"What makes you think I can? Seems to me I stand a better chance of making things worse."

"You could do either; make things worse or better. Quite easily, in fact." The ghost of a smiled played across Kimblee's face, and for a moment he seemed melancholy. Now Greed was meeting his eyes, he found he couldn't look away. "Envy is jealous of us, of whatever we have or might have. But in reality, I'm the one with cause for jealousy here, were I the type for it."

"Envy has enough of that for all of us." Greed said.

"Exactly." Kimblee smiled more fully, with his familiar Cheshire-cat slyness. "Have fun with that."


	35. Avaritia

Unbeknown to most, Central was deeper than it was wide. As the country spread out around them, the Homunculi had delved down, down, like a worm in an apple, into the earth's marrow. Some places were cold underground, but some were hot, so hot the ground itself succumbed to the heat. As far as Envy knew, there was only one use Father had for molten rock: it was the best way to kill a displeasing child. He didn't use it often, but he _did _use it, and so he maintained easy access to it.

Envy had seen it happen only twice before – the blistering liquid siphoned up, up, through miles of solid rock and steel channels, into a cauldron big enough to hold any sin. And then the screaming began, as life after life burned away…

Envy had been threatened with that same fate more times than it could count. That was why none of the siblings liked venturing down to the lowest depths, where hot wind blew, where their faces were lit with ghastly orange light of the magma.

It was, quite literally, a place for the damned, and that is where Greed found Envy, on a narrow catwalk of stone and iron, with nothing but fifty feet of darkness between it and glowing, fiery doom. Envy was shocked that Greed had followed it. He, above all of them, abhorred this place. The shock didn't stop Envy seizing the nearest large rock and throwing it at Greed with all it's strength.

"Thought you wanted nothing to do with me! So have your way and leave me the hell alone!"

Greed ducked, narrowly avoiding the shot. "You always take things so damn personal. I wanted nothing to do with any of this – this family, this life. This lie."

"You must've burned a lot of bridges if you're turning to me for comfort."

"There's something I gotta say. I came down into this pit, so at least listen. Then I'll leave you alone, if that's what you want."

"Oh, it's about what _I _want, is it?" Envy sneered. "Go ahead and waste your breath."

"Alright. First of all, you're not angry."

"Oh? Then I'm doing a remarkable imitation."

"You think you're mad, but you're actually scared. You have a lot of experience breaking things, and none at all at making them. Now that you have something you'd like to keep, you're afraid you'll lose it. You've seen too many bad endings now to believe in a good one."

"So it's all in my head, this fear. Based on past experience, and nothing about _this _situation warrants it."

"Frankly? Yes. The only problem you have right now is yourself."

"That's strange." Envy's eyes were steely as they regarded Greed. "Because it seems to me I'm looking at a pretty big problem right now, and it's not a mirror."

"If the problem is me, why are you being all pissy with your human?"

"I suppose you'd need it explained to you," Envy said, through gritted teeth, "as your relationships are about as disposable as condoms. Fine. I had this crazy notion that what we had was between us. And then he gives you an invitation to come waltzing right in. Not only is the wolf at the door, but the door is open. And for some reason which I'm sure you'll find entirely irrational, that is not okay with me."

Greed rolled his eyes. "Fucking hell, you really do swallow everything Pride feeds you. What if Lotus Flower wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down yourself? What if he just didn't want to be our intermediary? Or, what if he wanted to see if you'd chose him over me, like he did for you? What if he has the same doubts?"

"He's not insecure like that."

"But you admit _you_ are." Greed's voice was colored with wry amusement.

"He and I are not the same!" Envy snapped. "If he'd had several lifetimes of living with you, hating you, being fucked over by you again and again, he wouldn't trust a thing you say or do either!"

Greed took a deep breath. "…Alright, I'll give you that. I still say the issue lies with you more than me, but for whatever its worth, you don't need to worry about your human on my account. Like I said, I've wanted him…but I want him for you more than me."

"Bullshit!" Envy spat. "Next you'll tell me you're giving all your shit to charity and taking up a life of the cloth."

"My reasons are selfish, I'm not claiming otherwise. It suits me, the two of you being together. In fact, I gave him a few subtle pushes in the right direction early on."

Envy tilted its head slightly to one side, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Somewhere deep inside, a coil of doubt slithered, snake like, making Envy's skin crawl. "What do you mean?"

"He was already headed towards you, but I might've had a hand in helping him realize it."

"What, are you insane?" Beneath Envy's outrage, the question was in earnest. Either Greed was lying or his version of reality no longer had any similarity to the one in which Envy lived. "You were turning on the charm for him from the moment you met!"

"At first, yes. But he was already stuck on you, for reasons I can't imagine. So I figured if he's that crazy, well, he's right for you if anyone is."

"But-but you made that bet –"

"Because nothing makes someone want something like being told they can't have it. And nothing I told him wasn't true. You were about as unattainable as it was possible to be. I wanted to see if he was up to it, of if he'd do the easy thing."

"'Easy thing' being you?"

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up, I ain't ashamed. And since I know how your mind works – or _doesn't_ work, at times – I know you're going to start freaking the fuck out about all this, now you know I had a hand in it. Don't. As he put it, you're well suited to one another. I had nothing to do with that. I just happened to see it before either of you did."

Envy said nothing for a long time. Its head was spinning. None of this could be true, it just couldn't. Because why…why…

"Why would you do that? If you thought he'd make me happy, I'd have expected you to kill him on the spot if you couldn't seduce him."

It was Greed's turn to be silent for a long time.

"I guess I wanted to see what you'd do. We do change, you know. So slowly you might not see it, but we do. Mostly it seems like you'd rather make things worse than make them better. But frankly, you never did have much to work with. None of us have. I wanted to see if you could do something right, given half a chance."

"We still come back to why. Why give me this half-chance now? You were happy enough to give me nothing at all for centuries."

"I said we change. _We_ includes me. I realized a long time ago that there was nothing more to gain from being your enemy. You're right that we've done every horrible thing possible to each other, again and again and again. But I never saw an alternative. I never saw a side of you I'd want anything to do with. I saw nothing in you that I didn't hate…"

Greed stopped himself before he said too much, something that neither he nor Envy needed to hear spoken aloud: that he had seen nothing in Envy but a reflection of himself, his life, his family. He had wondered if Envy didn't have it the worst of all of them, for it seemed to embody all their sins both named and unspoken; a hellish chimera of vice and madness with no capacity for reason or hope for betterment. He had always pitied Envy in a way, but that pity only intensified his disgust. He hated Envy with the passion and vitriol with which he hated everything about his family, their excuse for existence. Envy wretchedness only reminded him of his own.

"Now that I see an alternative, I want it." Greed said, simply. "Anything would be better than what we have. For both of us."

"I still hate you. I hate you more than ever now." Envy's voice was broken, torn between rage and sorrow. "If you had…if even once…you could have been everything, all the difference for me."

Greed was shocked at the naked anguish in Envy's voice. Envy, who was pure lie even to look at, showing something true, something real.

"What good could've come from that?" His own voice was uncharacteristically gentle, although the truth was as harsh as ever. "We'd still've ended up hating each other. I can't save you from what you are, even if I was the type to try, because I'm no better. For the first time, it seems like you might be able to help yourself. I've never seen that in you before."

"It must be nice for you. Treat me like shit and then expect me to change when shit isn't to your liking anymore."

"Have you treated me any better? Don't you have just as much to gain as I do?"

"I don't know. You say you see something new in me. But aren't you still the same as ever? You say your motives are still selfish. So why should I want anything to do with _you?_"

"You've always wanted to do with me, kid." The typical swagger was back in his voice. "You gonna deny it?"

"Yes, as it's not true."

"It is true."

"Something doesn't become truth just because you say it."

"This isn't an argument you wanna have."

"Because it's ridiculous from the beginning."

"Really? If you don't want me, why do you make a point of playing around with my body on an infrequent but regular basis?"

Envy paled, then subsequently turned a bright shade of red.

"H-h-how do you –" Envy's voice was unnaturally high-pitched.

"Pride."

If one could die of embarrassment, Envy appeared on the brink of that fate.

Greed chuckled. "Don't have an aneurism. I bet anyone would do the same, if they had your abilities. Like looking at a dirty magazine, except you're the picture."

Envy still said nothing, nor reacted in any discernible way.

Greed arched a brow. "You alright?"

"No! I'm not alright! After nearly two hundred years you'd think I'd know what humiliation felt like! But life just keeps fucking surprising me in that regard!"

Envy brought its knees up to its chin and covered its head with its arms, as though trying to hide in itself.

"Yeah, this family does lack certain boundaries, no question there."

"How…how much does Pride watch…?"

"How should I know? My guess is that he has a good idea of what all of us do in the sack, because that information about a person can be useful. But I doubt he watches more than he feels is minimally necessary, considering himself above that sort of thing and all."

"Why did he tell _you_?!"

"Because he's a vindictive little fucker that likes to cause trouble."

"I wanna die…"

"Well, don't off yourself on my account. Nothing wrong with having a kinky side, so long as you admit it. Hypocrisy's the only thing to be ashamed of."

"I beg to differ."

"Told ya it wasn't an argument you'd win."

"Oh shut up!"

Greed chuckled, getting to his feet and holding one hand out towards Envy.

"Come on." He said. "Let's get out of this hell."

.

It was a long time later, when the free air of the surface touched their faces, that either of them spoke.

"So, what about your answer?" Greed asked.

"Answer to what, exactly?"

"You know what, exactly."

"I don't have an answer about that, although you've given me plenty to think about."

"Right. So what's it going to take, for you to start acting on what you're thinking?"

"I don't know." Envy said. "_You're_ the master at seduction. You tell me."

"Playing hard to get, huh? That's fine, I like a challenge."

"Hard to get, and I'm not playing. Kimblee can tell you that much." Envy added, with a touch of ruefulness in its voice.

What Kimblee had offered had been relatively straightforward, after all. Even so, it had driven Envy to the brink of homicide and despair out of sheer confusion. Suddenly Envy was nostalgic for the violence between itself and Greed. Envy understood that so much better.

_Hell, even in a standard, two-person relationship, I have a way of fucking it up…_Envy reflected, remembering the way it had left things with Kimblee, the reason it had sought out the solitude of the deepest underground in the first place.

Speaking of which…

"Actually, there's something I'd like to ask of you." Envy said on a sudden whim. "If you want to seduce me…_us_, you can start now."

Greed grinned. "I'm listening."

.

Like clock-work indeed, that quiet knock upon his door after a fight. Sure enough, Kimblee found a contrite Envy standing outside his door. Right on schedule.

Envy held out a set of keys, while avoiding his eyes.

"Maybe I've been a jerk…but I got you a house, so don't be too mad, alright?"

He just stared at Envy for a long moment.

"Am I to be a 'kept' human?" He asked at length.

"Is that better than being a homeless human?"

"Not necessarily." He reached out and closed the fingers of Envy's extended hand around the keys. "You can't buy me off. Luckily, you don't need to."

"I'm not trying to. It's just…sometimes it seems like I make things worse instead of better. But I can make them better too."

With a sharp tug of their still-clasped hands, he pulled Envy abruptly through the threshold and into his arms.

"Whoever said that is, of course, entitled to his opinion." His voice carried a wry note which told Envy he knew exactly whose opinion it was. "But I don't agree."

"…Really?"

"I do lie, unlike some people, but I wouldn't about that."

He tightened his hold on Envy briefly, before letting go and turning to shut and lock the door.

"Besides," he continued, "I should have just giving him a flat-out 'no' to begin with."

"Yes…but it wasn't worth getting as mad as I did. I just can't think straight where he's concerned."

"I know. That's why I was willing to entertain the possibility for the three of us. It seemed as though your emotions towards him were more complicated than pure hatred."

"…And…if they are?"

His eyes widened slightly in surprise. A complicated relationship, that was plain to see, but he would have never expected Envy to admit it.

"If they are, then why not have something good come of it for a change?" Kimblee said, after a pause.

"More or less what he said."

"And what do _you_ say?"

"…What I just said. I can't think straight about all this, it's driving me insane."

"In the end, it's not all that complex. If the answer isn't yes, then it's no. And I'm not getting much of a 'yes' from anything you've said."

"But…don't you want him too?"

"I would be a poor alchemist indeed, if I couldn't decline something I want in exchange for something I want more."

"Things would be a lot simpler if everyone thought like you did."

He snorted. "Human civilization would come to a screeching end, if everyone thought like I did."

"Exactly." Envy said, with a hint of his usual wickedness, wrapping his arms around Kimblee again. "Nice and simple."

.

"That's one thing that can be said of us;" Kimblee said, a long while later. "However much we fight, the make-up sex is always worth it."

Envy laughed throatily, turning over on his stomach and resting his chin on one hand.

"Hey."

"What?"

"You should stop being proud and accept my offer."

"For the house?"

"Yes. Stay home and cook and have my babies."

He snorted. "The life I've always dreamed of."

"Seriously, though. As one who's come from nothing, does the prospect of material acquisition hold no appeal for you?"

"Some appeal, more repulsion. If I can see the appeal, I'm in danger of falling into the same trap as many, who treat wealth and property as the pinnacle of their existence."

"You would never believe that."

"I used to. At one time I would have sold my soul for what you so casually offer me now, but back then my soul was as useless as the rest of me. I had yet to learn what is truly important."

"And that is?"

"Power, and freedom – two sides of the same coin, really. Attachment to anything else easily becomes a cage."

"Attachment to a person, for instance." There was a note of sullenness in Envy's voice.

"You're part of what makes me free. Isolation is nothing but being trapped in one's self. As I was, until you."

"You have all of this figured out better than I do." Envy said with a sigh. "I still wish you'd take the house though. Live in it as mine if you don't want it as your own. It'd be a shame to let it stand empty after what I did to get it."

"Oh?"

"I…may have…promised to go on a date with Greed in exchange for the keys…"

"Why, you little tart." Kimblee said, laughing.

"...At this point I can't really deny it, can I?"

"Actually you can. The only difference between a respectable woman and a whore is that the former sets a higher price." He frowned slightly. "On the subject of price, how much money does your brother _have_, if he can give a house as a courtship present? Not that we aren't worth that much, but still…"

Envy snorted. "I can't say how much money he has personally, but, well…when Father doesn't need him to fight, he manages our family's finances. Every source of profit in the country, legitimate or otherwise, Greed finds a way to turn to his advantage. It's quite literally the job he was born for."

"So in the scheme of all that, one house delegated to my use isn't a terribly significant expenditure."

"Right. Father wouldn't let Greed give divvy off chunks of real estate left and right to anyone he fancied, but you work for us anyway. If Father decided to review the financial details, which he usually doesn't bother with, he'd probably just consider it part of your payment. We've given more for less, in the past."

"Then I graciously accept your offer. As to the house. And perhaps the cooking, but as to the babies…"

"Tsk. You humans and your stubbornly fixed gender."

"I know." He lamented. "And we would have made such _good _parents, too."

This time they both laughed.

.

(A/N: So, there you go. Greed's life isn't all parties and sex. He has a pretty demanding job, as anyone who's dealt with mountains of tax forms and other finance-related paperwork will tell you. Needless to say, it's not an image he likes to cultivate, hahaha.

I'm not going to skimp on the upcoming...er...relations, but I'm getting antsy to start on the Ishbal arc and get some of the other cannon characters involved. Now that Greed and Every aren't providing wanton violence I need to get my fix elsewhere -_-'

Thanks for reading!)


	36. Play

Although Envy said the house had stood empty for some time, the dust of many years had been cleared away before Kimblee's arrival. The lace-edged curtains and thick, plushy carpets were faded now, and the silk upholstery was moth-eaten in places. Yet it nonetheless retained an air of dignified grandeur. He admired it in all its freshly cleaned and polished glory; even the silence seemed reverent of itself.

The house also retained it's original furniture, which was lucky as there were so much house to furnish. It wasn't the largest structure in that area; even so, it had more rooms than he could imagine what to do with, let alone fill. More rooms than all the places in which he had ever lived put together.

He didn't realize the full effect it had on him until he caught a glimpse of his own face in the entry-hall mirror. Envy found him there, staring at his own image as though he'd never seen it before.

"You alright?"

"Did I ever tell you I was born and raised in a single room?" He said, not taking his eyes off the mirror. "Me, my mother, and grandparents with everything we owned – which, granted, wasn't much. We shared a single spigot of running water with all the other tenants on our floor. But we were better off than some, because we had a stove that more or less worked."

"You having an attack of morality?" Envy said, looking at him with concern.

"Morality?" He spoke the word as though it was as unfamiliar to him as the house. "No. Disorientation. My mind can't keep up with how I got here from there."

He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them again Envy's face was reflected behind his own in the mirror.

"I know the feeling." Envy wrapped its arms around him from behind, chin resting on his shoulder. "Sort of how I felt on our first date. Unless you mean to tell me you don't like it."

"No. I've told you I'm an admirer of elegance and luxury. And yet I still feel out of place here. Won't people find it odd – what does a bachelor like me need with all this space?"

Envy shrugged. "Maybe you want like ten kids and a nanny for each of 'em, I dunno. Since when do you care what people think?"

He glanced around at the house he struggled to imagine as his. "Since I started living in a museum. Who lived here before, anyway?"

"I did."

His eyes found Envy's in the mirror, surprised.

"Not as myself, obviously." Envy amended. "You may have heard of the man who lived here, challenger for the seat of Führer-President fifteen years ago."

"Sort of rings a bell…Henry Valstar…?"

"Henrich Valsapart. Before your time."

"I remember something of a scandal." His brow furrowed as he tried to recall the details. "Valsapart was quite popular, until he…was…discovered to be accepting bribes from less-than-reputable parties, and possessing a large amount of child pornography. The scandal was the end of his political career, and eventually his life." He snorted. "At exactly what point did you step in?"

"All the scandal was me. He was actually a pretty square guy – one of the few I've seen in politics." Envy toyed with a button on Kimblee's shirt, seeming almost wistful, then brightened and went on, "You know, that was the first job Doctor Marcoh did for us, constructing the fake cadaver - I mean, Valsapart had been dead over a year at that point, there wasn't much left of his original body to use. But Marcoh wasn't as good back in those days; we had to wait for the fake to decompose just a bit, to make sure no one realized it was fake."

"I remember the headlines now. 'Found Dead in House; Suicide by Hanging'." He glanced at Envy. "The rear bathroom, with the beams in the ceiling?"

Envy grimaced. "The corpse-y smell goes away if you leave the window open a crack."

"I feel more at home here already."

.

It wasn't until they were eating dinner (a rather _eclectic_ meal of rice, marinara sauce, canned green beans and mini-sausages – they were still in the process of moving and organizing the kitchen stuff), that he thought to ask,

"Did you like living here?"

Envy shrugged. "When you're on a stage, do you care about the backdrop?"

"Only to the extent that it affects the performance I suppose."

"Pretty much. The place is comfortable, but I was never comfortable in it. Even the most decadent human life becomes…claustrophobic, after long enough. They're all equally constricting. But you know that."

"Too well."

"It will change soon. That's what I tell myself; the only thing that makes it bearable."

"It helps. I can think of a few other things that do as well."

Their eyes met. Envy smiled and then slowly turned away, beckoning over his shoulder with one finger. "So come help me christen the bedroom. We'll both feel perfectly at ease here soon enough."

.

Envy sometimes slept, with him, but not that night. After Kimblee's breath had long since grown quiet and even, Envy carefully slipped from his arms. Clothes reappeared on Envy's body as he made his way towards the bedroom door, footsteps noiseless.

"Sneaking out on me?"

Envy froze, one hand reaching out for the doorknob. "I usually don't stay all night…"

"Yes." Kimblee turned over in bed, facing Envy, propping himself up on one elbow. "But you don't usually sneak out. Am I not invited on this date?"

Envy winced. "It's not a date." His eyes were averted. "It's…I've been thinking, is all. There's still a thing or two I want to discus with Greed. Involving another family member." Envy grimaced. "It's not gonna be romantic, I promise you that."

"So why are you tiptoeing around?"

"I dunno. It just…feels like I should I guess." Envy looked at him for the first time. "All my jealousy aside, don't you feel any at all? Its okay if you don't, I promise I won't get mad. But I would be going insane if you were going out to see him, no matter what it concerned or what you promised. It would always seem like something to be secretive about."

He stretched out one hand. "Come here."

Envy had an unpleasant flashback to many nightmares. And, just as in all the dreams, Envy came when called, hesitant, as though approaching a displeased Father. Once in bed, he pulled Envy closer, wrapping a white sheet around them both. Envy melted against him, his warmth. So lovely...

"If I'm jealous of anything between you and him," Kimblee whispered softly against Envy's ear, "it's not what happens in bed. It's that he's known you since before I was even a thought, longer than my human mind can comprehend. Seen sides of you that I haven't and might never."

"You wouldn't want to." Envy said, distracted. He was jarred when Kimblee bit down on his earlobe, hard, causing the homunculus to yelp with pain and surprise.

"I would, and you know it." He pushed Envy down with a ruffle and flutter of sheets and pinned him to the bed. "Haven't I told you enough times I want everything?" He claimed Envy's mouth in a kiss which made Envy's toes curl, before turning his attention to Envy's neck.

"You have everything." Envy's voice was a breathless whisper, which turned into a moan as Kimblee began sucking one of Envy's nipples. Envy's clothes receded from his skin like a dark, red-rimmed tide from an ivory coastline. "You've got...mmm...nothing to be jealous of. He's my past – and seriously, fuck that shit. You're…my future…"

Envy's words trailed away as Kimblee's mouth got where it was going. To Envy's dismay, however, he pulled back, leaving nothing but a chaste kiss on the tip of Envy's straining hard-on. Then he pulled back, grinning down at Envy with wicked smugness.

"I think we'll leave this here."

"Like hell!" Envy said, sitting up. "I thought you said you weren't jealous!"

"Exactly. If I were jealous of him, I'd pound the thought of him right out of you. I will never push you into something you don't want. But I want you to want."

"I take it back." Envy said, pulling him back down and wrapping his legs around Kimblee's hips, so their erections rubbed tantalizingly together. "You have a lot to be jealous of. I have feelings for Greed, soooo many feelings. So come on and give me that pounding."

"Nice try." Kimblee said, struggling out of Envy's embrace. "But I want you to play this game like the rest of us."

"I could cheat, you know." Said Envy, trying to sound aloof and cold while still obviously quite hot. "I don't have to feel this."

"Oh but you won't _cheat_. That would be like admitting you lose." His voice had been mischievous, yet a hint of sincerity crept into his words. "Let yourself feel it. Why not? Whatever you desire, you can have it."

"I want you."

"You can have me. Right after you get back from your date."

"It's not a date, damn it!"

"If it turns into one, go ahead and let it. Whatever you do with him, just be willing to do it with both of us later."

"Bastard." Envy said, getting to his feet and willing clothes to form on his body once more. "Have fun whacking it then."

Envy only wished he could say the same for himself. No matter the circumstances, Envy had a strong aversion to self-gratification as either gender, after so many years with no other option.

"No, I'll wait." Kimblee said. "Perhaps longer than you will."

"I'm not going there to screw him."

"We'll see."

.

(A/N: The stuff about the house doesn't have much point, just trying to establish the setting and whatnot. I tend to neglect setting in favor of characters, so...practice practice. Similarly, the stuff about Envy's past persona...meh, probably should have left if out, but I thought it was fun. And, no promises, but I'll try to be quicker about updates. I want to get to Ishval, imprisonment, etc. I haven't been writing much, but I've been drawing a little. I'll post a link to my DA account when I get around to scanning them. Thanks for reading!)


	37. Family Dynamics

(A/N: Hey, any of you who are still paying attention to this story! Yes, it has been forever. I don't know what else to say, except to repeat that I am not going to abandon this story, much as it seems that way sometimes.)

.

It was around four in the morning when Envy arrived at the tavern. Disregarding the large 'closed' sign hanging over the lately-repaired doors, Envy entered to find Monique closing up shop for the day.

He was expecting another bout of haggling with Monique as to where Greed was situated at the moment. However, the world wasn't working the way Envy was used to as of late. Upon seeing the homunculus, Monique merely grunted – downright friendly, as far as Envy was concerned – and threw something small in his direction. Catching it, Envy saw that it was a room key, numbered 16.

"Told me to give it to you when you turned up." Monique said, by way of explanation. "Now you're his problem."

Envy didn't know what to say, so he left without further comment.

.

.

The door to Greed's room was shut and locked this time. Envy hesitated outside the door for a moment, as though having forgotten how to use one. It would have been hard to say which impetus was stronger, to turn the key and enter, or to throw the key and run, run far away, back to some version of reality which made sense.

On a whim, Envy shifted from male to female. True to the spirit of the game which Kimblee had laid out for them, Envy dutifully sustained sexuality and the accompanying frustrated desires from earlier. It was no easier to bear as a female, but overt arousal was much less obvious. Also, Greed always seemed slightly off-balance when Envy was female, and Envy was willing to take any advantages she could get.

"There's no way there's no way." Envy muttered, a bit ruefully, as she unlocked the door and entered.

If Envy had felt slightly disoriented by the situation in which she found herself, the scene she walked in on was utterly bewildering.

Room 16 was much smaller than room 242, equipped merely with a double bed and a small desk. Greed was sitting at said desk, which was spread corner to corner with a chaos of paperwork.

"Took you long enough." Greed said, grinning at Envy.

"You're _working?_"

"Don't tell anyone you caught me at it. I have a reputation to uphold."

"No one would believe me if I did." Envy said, then, "I can come back later if you…"

"Nah, I've been meaning to take a break." He tossed down the fountain pen he had been holding and stretched, arching his lanky body and giving Envy a perfect view of his diamond-chiseled physique. "Although if you're here for that date I don't know what we could do," he said, through a yawn. "Everything's either closed for the night or not open yet for the morning."

"It's not that." Envy suddenly wished it was. Even that would be easier. She walked around and sat on the edge of the bed closest to Greed's desk. If they were going to have this talk, might as well do it right.

"I wanted to talk to you…about Lust."

Greek cocked his head. "What about her? You want her in on –"

"No! No no no! What, you think I wanna be the family bicycle?!"

"Hey, don't get bent out of shape. She's hot. Unless you're only into guys…?"

"I don't know." Envy said, sliding from irate to pensive. Envy placed so little significance to gender in and of itself, the question had honestly never occurred. "I think if Kimblee were a woman, I'd feel the same way about 'her'. But my feelings towards Lust aren't like that."

Greed fondly contemplated the idea of this female incarnation of Envy and a hypothetical female Kimblee, before filing the thought away for later.

"Then what did you wanna talk about?"

"How will Lust feel about all this? I know she's seen you hump everything that'll stand still, but she's the only one of our kind you've–" Envy shot Greed a sharp look – "Isn't she?"

"Yes. And since when do you care how she feels?"

"Who says I care? I just don't want to get sliced and diced every time I run into her for the next, oh, I don't know, eternity."

"I vote we not tell her." Greed said. "Might avoid some drama. And it'll save us both from having to eat quite a few words about each other."

"_Can_ we, though?" Envy had no qualms about secret-keeping among the family; the only flaws she saw in that plan were the technicalities. "I'd have thought Pride already told her if he thought it might piss her off."

"I have enough leverage over him to keep a few secrets here and there. Nothing too big but it does come in handy."

Envy could only marvel at that – privately, of course. The fact that Greed could have _any _leverage, big or small, over Pride. There were some things about her older siblings that Envy would never understand.

"If we can keep it under wraps, that's fine with me. It's not even much to hide. Just one little night, not like we're eloping. Assuming I agree in the first place, of course."

"Of course." Greed said with the slightest of grins.

"And that means you can't mock me for it after."

"I wouldn't, regardless." His eyes met hers and held them. "I'll never demean you for being with me. Wouldn't make any sense, to my way of thinking."

He was suddenly so earnest. It caught Envy off-guard, that uncharacteristic sincerity. And, just as suddenly, Envy remembered her own body. She was glad she'd gone with the female version of this; a raging hard-on was the last thing Envy needed right then.

"That's surprisingly courteous of you." Envy muttered, unconsciously crossing her legs.

Greed smirked. "You'll find I'm full of surprises."

Would she? Even now, the thought was so strange. Yet it didn't seem that Greed would give her time to mull it over. With predatory grace, he shifted the few feet from the desk chair to the edge of the bed.

"Something wrong?" He asked, as he took a seat beside Envy. "You seem a little distracted."

_You're a little distracting…_

No, no, Envy would _not _sink to that level. Perhaps to distract herself from her body's troublesome cravings, her thoughts branched out, as though trying to gain purchase on any idea which was not of him, of herself, of both of them together.

"Even if she doesn't find out," Envy blurted, "how would she react, to this?"

Greed leaned back slightly, perplexed both by the question itself and the fact that Envy was asking it.

"Not overjoyed." He said.

"I know _that_."

"She'd probably just tell us we're both idiots." Greed said. "Which, let's face it…"

"I think she'd have just a smidge more to say than that." Said Envy, rolling her eyes.

"Do you?"

"Do I really need to explain how women don't like it, when they're ex gets with their sister? Or are you going to tell me I'm being 'overly sensitive'?"

"Usually the ex in question isn't their brother."

"You say that like it makes it better." Envy said with a grimace.

"No. Just different. If you really want to know, infidelity was never the issue between us, way back when." His voice was soft, colored with some unfathomable remembrance, but the moment was short-lived. "So while I know she wouldn't be thrilled, it wouldn't be salt in any old wounds."

"So you say." Envy rolled her eyes again. "But it's all a moot point anyway, I guess."

"Admit it." Greed said. "You do care how she feels. Just a little."

"It wouldn't stop me."

"It wouldn't stop most people, from going after what they want. Not much does." Greed gave a soft chuckle. "Look at me, messing up on the basics. Never talk about one girl to another, they say. Now I've gone and ruined the mood."

"No, I'm…glad you told me." Envy smirked at him. "And who says there was a 'mood' to begin with?"

"Please. You were any wetter I'd have to change the bedclo-"

Envy punched him into the wall. "You're disgusting!"

"Maybe I am." Greed was suddenly on top of Envy, pinning her to the bed with carbon-shielded arms and hands. Underneath Envy's shriek of surprised protest, she was intensely relieved. This struggle, at least, was almost normal for them.

"Disgusting." His grin was insufferably smug. "But not wrong."

Envy thrashed about, although vanity kept her from altering her humanoid body. It was nothing more than Envy's typical physical insecurity, but Greed took it for encouragement. He had been prepared to court Envy, but this was so much more their style, brawling and clashing. He wanted that, Envy, true to form.

"Yes, yes, this is so _you_. I love that fight. No one gives me a run for my money like you do."

And it was a run for his money, no doubts there. Even though Envy wasn't bringing out the shape-shifting, her strength was still a match for his. She couldn't get away, but it took everything he had to prevent her.

Arms and legs grappling, the contact, the sensation of his body on top of Envy's own, combined with the closest thing to flattery Envy would have believed from him….Ever so gradually, the fight went out of her. She was overwhelmed by herself as much as him, her desire for him. That was the fight she lost.

"Hmm?" He purred when she finally lay still beneath him. He leaned down and nuzzled the crook of her neck, then grazing with his teeth ever-so-lightly. "Ready to give it up?"

It was, as far as he was concerned, a rhetorical question, although he wouldn't mind if Envy fought him further. He bit down on the neckline of Envy's shirt, ripping it to gain access to her collar bone.

"It's…not because of you." Envy managed. "Damn human got me all riled up before I left and wouldn't do anything for me."

Greed laughed. "In that case, he has only himself to blame when I finish what he started."

With hands no longer busy pinning her arms to the mattress, he ripped away the rest of her shirt to reveal her small but distinct breasts, which he investigated with enthusiasm. The sensation was like nothing so much as flying – or falling. Dizzyingly intense, leaving her reeling.

But the sudden acceleration elicited in her a feeling of vertigo. So much, so fast, and suddenly it was more than she could handle. It felt good, yes, and all at once so bad at the same time. Envy didn't care to analyze the wave of stomach-turning negativity which shot through her. Mostly, it was the old fear, the ingrained memory of so many unwelcome hands, so many invasive bodies, which she had been made to endure. And, perhaps, a hint of guilt to galvanize the fear, that regardless of what Kimblee asked – or didn't ask – of Envy in terms of monogamy, what she was doing still felt wrong. Disloyal. Even if she was the only one of the three who saw it that way.

The crux of the issue was, however, that Greed was simply not the one who could allow Envy to forget all that, or at least to move past it. She couldn't lose herself in the free-fall of desire, not with someone she didn't trust. That was what Envy realized. Much as she wanted him, with that wary discord resonating through her, suddenly he was just a foreigner all over her, another enemy storming the gates. Envy wanted him, but had no faith in him.

"Stop…"

He growled low in his throat. "Don't play with me."

"I'm not, please –!"

Envy was startled by how quickly he pulled away. Still above her, he scrutinized her face very closely for a brief moment, just long enough for shame to nip at Envy's heels. How weak she must seem, how pathetic. Envy, whimpering in protest like some feeble little virgin.

Then he pulled away entirely, sitting as before on the side of the bed. Envy turned away, curled up on one side, unable to look at him, more disappointed than relieved.

"You alright?" He asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

"Yeah, I'm swell." Envy's voice was flat.

"Was it something I did?"

"No." The one time Envy might have meaningfully slighted him, insults were far from her mind. Finally, she raised herself, sitting on the opposite side of the bed, still facing away. She wished again that she was far away, although had just enough decency not to bolt and leave him hanging.

There was another long stretch of silence. For Greed, it was surreal. Envy, who was in his face, in his way, all the damn time…was now so distant, seemingly unreachable. It was truly a horrible feeling, to have what he wanted so veryclose and yet inaccessible.

"Do you…need to talk about –"

"_No_." Envy might be considering Greed as a lover, but certainly not a confidant. She took a deep breath, then, "Look…I do want you. Hell, you know that well enough." It was easier to say when she was facing away from him. "But…I can't, without him. It just feels wrong."

He shifted, from sitting on the edge of the bed to lying down on it.

"Hey." He flicked her back.

Envy looked over her shoulder at him, too dejected to even be very annoyed.

"Don't look so down in the dumps. Love is a good thing."

Envy managed to work up a decent glare. "Love is a stupid thing."

"Lucky intelligence was never your strong point."

She reach around and karate-chopped his solar plexus. "Just pure, unadulterated violence."

"Point taken." He groaned, not having raised his shield quite fast enough. Not one to be much bothered by pain, however, he grabbed her hand and pulled her down backwards, so she was lying more or less across his lower stomach.

"So if you want me, and you need him, why are you taking so long to _do_ something about it?" He released her wrist, and she sat up straight once more. "Go tell him you've agreed already. Or I'll hold you down and have my wicked way with you, your agreement not withstanding."

Envy left the room quickly, before she did something stupid like let him.

.

.

(I'm getting kind of bored with the romance stuff, to be honest. Ishbal is coming up. Oh, and in response to Shade40, if you're still reading, I hadn't planned it when I began the story, but there is actually going to be some pretty interesting interactions between Pride and Kimblee near the end. One of the reasons why I'm so dead-set on getting that far.)


	38. Rules and Misconduct

(A/N:...I...I...I LIIIIIIIVVVVE!)

.

"Oh honey~"

Kimblee had been taking lunch in his office, only to be joined by Envy…wearing a form which, no doubt, had drawn every male eye on her walk up to his office, and probably a few female ones. He promptly forgot his half-eaten sandwich as she shut the door behind her and crossed the room. He rose to greet her, kissing her and pulling her close.

"What's going on here?" He asked, cupping one greatly increased breast.

"Hey," Envy slapped his hand away in mock indignation. "I thought you liked them small."

"I _like_ them. Variety is the spice of life." Undaunted, he resumed his exploration.

"Well." Envy snickered a little as the words came to her, "your life is about to get spicy." _Christ on a cracker, did I really just say that? _

"Really?" He looked at her in surprise, then grinned. "So did you and he–?"

"No. I did want to, but I…I need you there. It doesn't feel right without you."

"That's easily fixed." He kissed her again, more deeply, pressing her back against the desk. He dropped one hand from her breast, down, under the hem of her skirt and up her thigh.

"Uh…" Envy said, shifting against his growing hard-on. "Don't you want to…save that for later…?"

"No." He said, kissing her neck. In truth, it had been nearly impossible for him to focus on his work after the way they'd left things earlier that morning. Now that she and the opportunity had been presented so perfectly, he simply couldn't resist.

Envy wasn't sure she wanted him to, for that matter. On the one hand, Wrath would have a conniption fit if he ever found out they'd fucked in Kimblee's office in the middle of the day, but on the other hand…damn it, Envy just didn't _care_. How many tantalizing prospects could s/he be expected to forego in one day? Envy was only, well, inhuman.

Someone opened the door – and slammed it quickly shut again with a noise of surprised embarrassment. The two of them jerked apart like guilty teenagers.

"Um…"

"Right." Kimblee sighed, straightening his uniform. "Shall I see you tonight?"

"Yeah. Meet me at Monique's. Suite four twenty four."

"Yes ma'am."

Envy gave him a final kiss, chaste but lingering regretfully, before turning and walking out. Kimblee wondered if he was going to pay for their indiscretion. On the other hand, maybe people would stop insisting he was gay…

.

Somewhere far - but not far enough - away, Selim Bradly crashed his model airplane into the wall and said a word that made his mother threaten to wash his mouth out with soap.

.

"You'll wear a hole in the rug, pacing like that."

"What's taking him?"

"Maybe traffic's bad. Sit down, would you? You're making _me _tense."

Envy walked over and sat next to Greed on the couch, back straight as a rod.

"Right." Greed took a sip of his beer. "You could try breathing, while you're at it."

Envy took a deep breath, not having realized he'd been holding it. Then nearly jumped out of his skin when Greed touched his shoulder. "Aagh – what're you doing?!"

"…I was going to give you a backrub." He regarded Envy with an arched brow. "But it seems counterproductive."

"I wish I could get drunk."

"Also counterproductive. You'd just have to pee, during."

"…Good to know, I…guess." Envy rubbed his temples. _Could this get any more awkward? _

There came a knock on the door, and Envy all but ran to answer it.

"Forgive my tardiness." Kimblee said, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him. "This _would_ be the day they'd keep me late."

He pulled Envy into a long kiss, and suddenly the whole situation didn't seem so insane anymore. Envy was on solid ground once again. For a moment Envy buried his face in Kimblee's chest, savoring his scent, the solid familiarity of him.

"Did you miss me?" Kimblee asked, voice teasing but gentle.

"Nah." Envy said, dismissive, still holding on as though for dear life.

"Not even a little?" Kimblee said.

"Maybe just a bit." Envy allowed.

"A tad?"

"A smidgen."

Kimblee held up one hand, thumb and index finger indicating a small amount. Envy indicated a smaller one, then laughed and kissed him, more playfully this time.

When they broke apart, Greed whistled. "Gotta love a man in uniform."

"I've always preferred mine on the floor." Kimblee said with faux lightness.

"Can't argue that." Greed motioned to the couch. "Have a seat."

As they did so, Greed noted the difference in the way Envy moved. His posture was more relaxed, shoulders less rigidly set and breath more even. Neither Kimblee nor Envy seemed to be aware of this, but Greed was obsessed with it, those subtle and undeniable hints at the bond they shared, which he would share too for one night.

"So, are we discussing ground rules?" Kimblee asked. He was seated between Greed and Envy.

"Ground rules?" Envy asked, resting his chin on Kimblee's shoulder from behind, arms wrapped around his waist.

"Anything not okay with any of us." Greed elaborated. "As you probably guessed, I don't have any."

"No killing each other?" Kimblee suggested, stroking one of Envy's hands lightly. He was a fan both of sex and of killing, but of the opinion that the two ought not to mix.

Greed snorted. "Not a typical concern. Yeah, I'm down with that."

"I think I can refrain." Envy allowed. "Just don't call me Behemoth. Or Leviathan. Or –"

"I won't call you anything but your name." Greed promised. "What about you?"

"I won't insult you either."

"No, I meant is there anything you're not okay with?"

"Oh…" Envy bit his lip, thinking. They were going to be having sex – what was left to find objectionable? "Uh…" Envy found he couldn't look at either of them, but addressed somewhere in the vicinity of Greed's shoe. "Can you two not…maybe…kiss on the lips?"

"Sure." Greed said.

"Sounds reasonable." Kimblee said. "Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of." Envy said, a little surprised that Greed had been so compliant.

"Homunculi can't carry venereal disease, can they?" Kimblee asked.

Envy lost his head entirely and doubled over laughing.

"What, are you implying I'm licentious?" Greed said in mock indignation as Envy continued to snicker. "Where _do_ you get these ideas about me? But no, there has yet to be an illness that can infect us."

"Did we break you already?" Kimblee asked, turning to Envy, who was wiping his eyes.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Envy said, waiving one hand dismissively. He was distracted from his mirth by Kimblee's hand on his waist. The touch was feather-light, teasing, sending a shiver up Envy's spine.

"Are you still sure about this?" Kimblee's voice was level, his eyes searching for any hesitance. It made Envy like it was only the two of them in the room, perhaps even in the world.

"I am."

"You can say no at any time."

"I'm saying yes right now."

He kissed Envy once more before standing and offering his hand. "Then, shall we?"

.

(A/N: I know, I know, it's a cop-out, but I wanted to show people that I'm still here. As for the actual sex, I'm working on it but it's very, very slow. For what it's worth, I'm probably more frustrated than anyone about how slow I'm being DX [Also, Kimblee doesn't care tuppence what people think about his personal life, except that it wreaks havoc on his career path.] Thanks for reading!)


	39. Three

(A/N: Hope it was worth the wait!)

.

Envy rose as if in a dream, crossing the short distance from the sitting-area to the bed, across polished floorboards and richly-pattered rugs. Walking had never been so complicated. Greed was a little behind them, taking off his shirt and tossing it carelessly away on his way over. Kimblee was more fastidious about things, hanging his jacket on the back of a chair beside the bed and sliding his shoes and socks underneath it.

Envy wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to strip yet, so he occupied himself with crawling into the bed. Even in his state of nervousness, Envy couldn't help but notice how soft the mattress was, how the dark red down-stuffed comforter was like a cloud on his body.

Kimblee, now wearing only undershirt and boxers, pulled covers aside and lay down next to Envy. He slid one hand up his stomach, under his shirt. Envy laughed a little as he willed the garment off of himself.

"I still can't fucking believe this." Envy muttered ruefully as he pulled Kimblee's hair out of its ponytail.

"Just proves my favorite saying." Greed said, laying himself against Envy's back, now naked as the day he was 'born'. Envy tensed, stomach fluttering with nervousness and something else. It caught him off-guard, and he recoiled instinctively, pressing closer into Kimblee's arms.

"Can we…maybe focus on him first?" Envy pointed at Kimblee.

Kimblee and Greed glanced at each other, before exchanging identical evil smirks.

"No."

"No way."

"But I– mmm…" Envy's voice trailed off as Greed sucked on his earlobe.

"What's the issue?" Greed asked softly, breath hot and close against Envy's ear. "You were almost down for it before. Just relax." He began kneading the muscles of Envy's shoulders with one broad hand.

At the same time, Kimblee slid lithely down Envy's body, taking one of his flat, pale-pink nipples into his mouth and sucking. Someone's hand – Envy wasn't sure whose was whose anymore – slid up his thigh. Envy allowed the rest of his clothing to recede from his body, allowing whoever's fingers to reach their goal, stroking his already stiffening member to full, throbbing attention.

Greed and Kimblee were downright mercenary about it, simultaneously soothing and arousing; deft and merciless. As Kimblee made his slow, meticulous procession down Envy's torso, eliciting gasps and shivers, Envy shifted, lying squarely on his back to allow better access. Greed seized the opportunity to lean forward and press his lips to Envy's. Envy felt as though he might be ripped in half between both their mouths, as surely as though two wolves had sunk their teeth in and pulled. Through the haze of sensation, Envy realized that he and Greed had never kissed before. Envy couldn't say why that seemed strange, but it did. How long they had lived in the same mire of old hate and old habits. How incredible, this sudden break from all that.

"You okay?" Greed said, very quietly, pulling back for a moment to regard Envy with half-lidded, slightly mischievous eyes.

Envy nodded, not trusting his voice, before pulling Greed back down into another kiss, moaning into his mouth as the hand on his cock was replaced with the hot, wet cavity of Kimblee's mouth. He enveloped Envy very fully for a moment, then reined in; teasing with only the lightest swipes of his tongue. Envy writhed a little, one hand tightening, white-knuckled, on the sheets. The other grazed the skin of Greed's back, although Envy managed to not break skin. (Envy had learned to be careful about that sort of thing, normally coupling with one whose skin didn't heal instantaneously.)

Greed changed tactics, shifting his attention to Envy's neck, grazing the soft skin there with his wicked teeth. A shudder ran up Envy's spine as it arched of its own accord, and a whimper escaped his lips about which he was profoundly grateful that Greed could not later mock him.

Perhaps responding to Envy's wordless plea, Kimblee dispensed with his teasing, swallowing Envy's cock to its base, making considerable use of his well-controlled gag-reflex in doing so. His efforts seemed to be appreciated, with the keening sound Envy made, the way his back arched and his toes curled. Envy fought to draw the moment out by focusing on small details. The cobbled road of Greed's spine, the subtle play of muscles under Envy's wandering hands. Quite different, to feel what had so often seen and sometimes appropriated. But even as Envy scrambled to find purchase on any thought, any distraction to prolong his pleasure, he felt himself slipping, falling, shattering on impact as his climax tore through him.

He cried out as his body shuddered in ecstasy, fingers ripping the sheets on one side and the skin of Greed's back on the other. After a few more spasms, all his muscles went slack as he all but swooned in the aftermath, lying like a rag doll beneath his partners as the room seemed to spin around him.

"D'aww." Greed chuckled, a hint of the usual repartee in his voice. "He's all tuckered out."

"Is that my fault?" Envy muttered, still not opening his eyes. "You're both rather intense, even taken separately."

"Are you quite alright?" Kimblee asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he moved back up to be on a level with the other two.

"Of course." Envy's eyes slid open at last, although they seemed slightly out of focus; languid and unapologetically lascivious. "And I believe I owe you something from earlier." Envy shifted into a female form as she spoke, reaching up and pulling Kimblee into her arms.

"What was earlier?" Greed asked, amused.

"My 'girlfriend' visited me on my lunch hour." Kimblee murmured against Envy's lips.

Greed snorted, incredulous. It wasn't such a remarkable thing, except it was _Envy_, and hell must be damn cold for him/her/it to be that accommodating. "Lucky you."

"Almost," Kimblee said with exaggerated sorrow. "But someone walked in."

Greed laughed again, imagining the scenario. "Shit, when's the funeral?"

"Unfortunately, I wasn't in a position to see the person's face." Envy said.

Greed just shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Let's see you two go at it then." Normally he wasn't much of a voyeur. To him, there was no such thing as a spectator's sport. But he wanted to see their relationship expressed to its fullest, even more than he wanted to physically possess either of them.

They didn't need telling twice. Far from hesitant anymore, Envy took the lead now, pushing on Kimblee's shoulder so that he was lying on his back, their positions reversed. She didn't kiss his mouth again, but began a quick progression of lips and fingers down his body. Greed barely had time to wonder if she was always this enthusiastic about giving head when her pace slowed, and she glanced upward questioningly. Kimblee shifted, body betraying an impatience he couldn't quite conceal.

"Shall I show him…?" Envy asked.

"By all means, if you're comfortable with it." Kimblee glanced sidelong at Greed, who had observed the exchange with puzzlement. "You're about to be incredibly jealous of me."

Greed wasn't used to encountering that level of smugness in another being. But as red sparks flashed for a moment about Envy's mouth, as her tongue slid forward and coiled around and around, he understood exactly why. He had sometimes wondered about Envy's shape-shifting, the possibilities that entailed, but to see it actualized…

His own member throbbed sympathetically as he watched her work, fascinated. Unique endowment aside, it was also clear she knew what she was doing; alternating between sucking him down into her throat, the spiral sliding and constricting action of her tongue, pausing every now and again to tease his dripping slit or circle the head with the tip of her tongue. Greed couldn't resist stroking his own length as she worked, leisurely at first and then with a bit more urgency. Just watching had never gotten him so hot and bothered, but then, he wasn't used to seeing another man get something he hadn't had countless times before. To think, Envy was showing _him _something new.

Just when Greed was beginning to wonder if Kimblee possessed some kind of superhuman fortitude, he hooked a finger under Envy's chin, raising her off him with a breathless,

"_Stop."_

Then grit his teeth through the excruciating moment when Envy did so. He relished the extremity of sensation; the heights of pleasure and the inverse torment of its removal. He was as much a masochist as a sadist in that regard, pushing each feeling to the extreme and himself to the edge of endurance. Nothing less was fully satisfying.

Their ease with each other was once again evident, for without prompting, Envy turned and lay on her back, obviously familiar with how things were going to go. Said familiarity didn't impede her enthusiasm, however. Back arched, bending at the knee to support shamelessly raised hips and spread legs, every muscle in her body communicated eager anticipation.

He didn't ask, he didn't _need _to ask, as he knelt between her thighs, took hold of her hips, and slid past her flushed, engorged nether-lips into the sweet, slick depths of her.

And Greed found himself surprised once more, not by the act itself which was the antithesis of new to him, but how Envy engaged in it. The way Envy was prone to whine about pain or insult led him to assume that he or she would insist on slow, gentle lovemaking as a rule. How different the reality was, the way she wrapped her legs so tight around his hips, arched into him, gripping the headboard for leverage. She was so into it, and Greed found that he was too; equally aroused by Kimblee's pleasure, with which Greed could naturally identify, and Envy's, which was so deliciously apparent. Her body trembled, in what he might have taken for fatigue in another creature, and she was panting, each inhale catching in an almost yelp-like little sound. Her hair was tangled in her face, but he could see a blush spreading across her cheeks and down onto her chest, even as a sheen of sweat blossomed on her skin while her muscles played beneath.

She would be tight inside, he assumed, having absolute control of such things, and he craved her so powerfully he could almost have salivated. He would have her. He burned with the thought as he watched them, pumping his own length hard and fast because he would go mad if he didn't, imagining pounding into her like that, making her voice crescendo like that, making the slender line of her body jolt like a plucked bowstring and her head whip from side to side as she came for him just like that.

Gripping her hips with such force it would have left bruises on human flesh, Kimblee thrust into her with reckless abandon once, twice, three times following her over the edge with a long, low moan, hitching slightly with each spurt of his orgasm, as he lost himself in her at last.

It was the final straw for Greed, who came a moment later, spattering the sheets with white fluid.

In that moment the differences in their nature were most apparent. Kimblee sank down onto Envy in a pile of sweaty limbs, his head on her chest and her legs still wrapped loosely around him. Greed, by contrast, raised his carbon shield over that select part of his body, maintaining its erect shape and, obviously, hardness.

"It could take its toll on a man's ego," said Kimblee, panting, "competing with someone who has no refractory period."

"But you're not just any man." Envy said softly.

"I'll second that." Greed said. "You put on quite the show, both of you." _And you're not competition_, his thoughts amended. _You're the conquest. _

"Show's not necessarily over." Kimblee said, his breath beginning to even out. He raised himself slightly, meeting Envy's eyes. "Would you like me to go down on you, or should we give him his turn?"

"I'll wait." Greed said, before Envy could respond. "Do exactly what you would if you were alone."

"I see." Kimblee grinned at Envy. "Well then, go make me a sandwich."

Envy slapped his shoulder lightly, although she couldn't suppress a smile as she did so.

Kimblee directed his attention first to her small, high breasts, sucking and nibbling first one nipple and then the other to pert attention, before sliding down her stomach and further still, guiding her legs up over his shoulders as he lowered his head between them, and she arched and keened at what he did next.

It was clear that, jests aside, he compensated for their differences in stamina quite well, timing his climax so that Envy might enjoy multiple, either as a woman or a man whose body never tired. Greed watched them with the same fascination as before, although with a lesser level of arousal. Being fixedly and forever male, he could not entirely relate to her physical sensations, but the act was gratifying to him on another level. Just as Envy's wretchedness reminded him of his own, and often had provoked his anger and distain, so he also found solace in her joy. The logic, although unexamined in his own mind, was that if there was hope for Envy surely there was hope for him as well. In that one way, they were much like any family.

One of Envy's hands drifted upwards, alighting on one of her own breasts; kneading it and toying with the nipple. Upon seeing that, Greed couldn't resist the urge to give her a hand. He moved over to where she lay, his body at a right angle to her own. Her eyes had been closed, but they slid open when he was close beside her as though sensing him near. She had no objection to his added attention, kissing him heatedly and moaning into his mouth as she did so, before he applied his attention to other areas.

Between the two of them, it wasn't long before she reached her peak again, dampening the sheets and Kimblee's chin in her climax.

"Right." Greed said, almost before Envy had even caught her breath. "My turn."

Kimblee withdrew slightly, moving up to lean against the pillows at the headboard and also to obtain a better view, whereas Greed lay more or less lengthwise across the bed. The bed itself was so large he could lie across it at any angle and have room aplenty.

"How do you want me?" Envy asked.

"Let's go with male for now." Greed said. "Why break stride?"

Envy changed gender accordingly, and no sooner was she a he than Greed seized Envy's ankle and yanked him closer, dragging him across the bed and pinning him thereupon as though they were just grappling.

"So, how flexible are you?" "Greed inquired in a husky voice, leering down at Envy as though he was a steak into which Greed was about to sink his overly-sharp teeth. Envy was rendered speechless for a moment under the sudden heat of his gaze.

"Flexible enough to kick your face into the floor, if I recall correctly." Kimblee put in helpfully.

"And here I thought you were too drunk to recall anything." Greed said.

"It would be a crime to forget such a fight. The chemistry you had – expressed in violence, but all the more obvious for it. I knew seeing you in bed would be as spectacular as seeing you in battle."

"So no pressure then?" Greed quipped.

"I think you're up to it."

Greed laughed, turnings his eyes back no Envy. "What do you think? Can we fuck as well as we fight?"

"Only one way to find out." Envy said, all but jumping out of his skin with impatience for Greed to _do _something, anything, other than talk.

He started only by kissing Envy very gently, belying his earlier roughness. And if kissing Greed before had been intense, with Envy's attention now undivided the shock of it hit him like a punch to the gut; not painful but so powerful it nearly was. Envy deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around Greed and arching into him, their bodies melding into each other. The fingers of one of Envy's hands played in the short, coarse bristles of hair at the nape of his neck. Envy's mouth slid open of its own accord; their tongues met, exploratory, and Envy got just a taste of the sharpness of Greed's teeth in the kiss.

It seemed to go on forever or, rather, exist beyond time itself. Envy relished every detail, the shape and texture of his body which Envy knew so well and yet didn't know at all. It spurred Envy on to further heights of arousal, while at the same time soothing something much deeper, each kiss and caress like a balm on Envy's raw ego, the wounds they had traded back and forth for so many years. It was the closest thing to an apology they could ever have from one another, and for that night at least it was enough.

Then he pulled away, and Envy made a little sound of protest before he could stop himself. However, Greed didn't go far, simply rolled to the edge of the bed and groped for a moment in the drawer of the bedside cabinet, withdrawing a small white tube of what turned out to be lubricant.

Envy was caught by surprise at the consideration, which was the antithesis of how they usually behaved towards one another. The surprise was quickly overtaken by desire, as Envy watched Greed squirt a careless amount of the clear gel on his hand and spread it along the length of his impressive erection. Envy watched the motion hungrily. He wanted to touch it, wanted to be fucked by it. Greed watched him watch, and knew it.

"Get over here."

It was probably the only situation in which Greed would follow Envy's orders. They kissed for a little longer, and Envy's fingers skated across Greed's torso and lower, learning every inch of him. Envy was good with his hands, and presently Greed prized Envy's digits off of him.

"Not like that." His breath had become heavy. "I want _you_."

"Take me then."

It was Greed's turn for manual exploration, sliding one hand down between them, down between Envy's legs. Envy shivered at the contact. If Greed was taken aback by Envy's uninhibited wantonness, Envy in turn would not have expected the care Greed took with him, easing two fingers inside very slowly, before applying very slight pressure outward in a scissoring motion. That uncharacteristic gentleness from him set Envy's blood on fire, and paradoxically made him want to dispense with it.

"Hey…" Envy said, tilting Greed's chin up so their eyes met. "Just fuck me." Envy wanted it in him, damn it.

"Are you sure?" Greed asked, quirking one brow.

"You know my body can handle it."

"Fair enough." Greed said with his usual devil-may-care grin. Needing no further encouragement, he moved one of Envy's legs around his hip and the other up over his shoulder. The difference in their heights was such that Envy's leg pointed almost straight up, his heel gaining purchase on Greed's shoulder. He turned and kissed the inside of Envy's ankle before lining himself up and driving himself into Envy's opening. Envy winced, but no more than that, as a thin trail of blood ran from where their bodies joined, but even as it did so Envy had already healed.

That was all it took for Kimblee to be at full attention once again. He wouldn't have stood for it if Greed had done that without Envy's consent, but there was no denying the sadistic joy he took in the sight.

"You alright?" Greed asked.

"Fine." Envy said, his hips twitching of their own accord with impatience.

Greed adjusted their position just a little so that Envy's body was at an angle to his, lying with his weight supported on one arm. Then he began to move. His experience was immediately evident, driving his member against Envy's prostate like a heat-seeking missile, slow and deliberate, enjoying Envy's sound of half-pleasure, half surprise.

"_Harder." _Envy said through clenched teeth, his body craving motion. That tremor ran through him again, that for anyone else would have indicated exhaustion in that extreme position.

Greed redoubled his pace, pounding into Envy harder and faster than he would have dared with anyone he didn't want to suffer tears in unfortunate places. If there was any injury, the pain didn't register.

"Touch yourself, Envy." Kimblee said in a soft voice. "You must want to."

As it happened, Envy was always hesitant when it came to self-gratification. It felt shameful, not in a moralistic sense necessarily but because, to Envy, it was linked with rejection, with having no other options. When told to do so, however, the sting of humiliation was alleviated. Envy wasn't desperate; he was complying with the wishes of his partner. His hand darted down, gripping his own erection and pumping it as hard and fast as Greed was moving inside him.

Envy almost wished it would hurt a little, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood as he sought to put the breaks on a bit, anything to extend this, to have more of this; Envy never wanted it to stop. But the more Envy tried to hold onto the pleasure he felt, the more it seemed to hold onto _him_, washing over him and sweeping him away into oblivion.

Envy collapsed for the second time that night. Though his eyes were closed, he could hear Greed moving away from him, probably to take Kimblee up on the other half of their agreement. There was a distant ripple of jealousy – towards whom Envy couldn't have said – and yet he was too spent and blissful in that moment for the feeling to gain any momentum.

"Invidia?"

"Hm?"

"Just making sure you're not in some kind of coma."

Envy smiled a little, opening his eyes and turning to be in full view of the other two. "Comas aren't something I do."

"There's no way there's no way." Greed said, now lying next to Kimblee amid the pillows against the headboard. "Particularly with my technique." He made a show of preening.

"It wasn't that good." Envy said in a faux-coy voice that it knew wouldn't fool any of them.

"Yeah." Greed said. "I'm surprised your head didn't explode."

"That's more _my_ technique." Kimblee said, pulling Greed closer to him. They didn't kiss on the lips, as per Envy's rule, but Greed's mouth was suddenly everywhere else on him; the hollow beneath his lower lip, the place just adjacent to the corner of his mouth, up across the rise of his cheekbone and finally to his ear.

"I don't think you quite appreciate the position you put me in." Greed said, his teeth leaving a few reddened marks on Kimblee's earlobe like a row of earrings.

"I thought it was going to be the other way around…?"

"That night Envy and I fought, when I had to drag you upstairs and tuck you in."

"Memory fails on that one."

"Nothing much to remember," his grin spoke otherwise. "And that's the problem. There you were, all defenseless, with your hair coming down," he entwined his fingers in Kimblee's hair as he spoke, "and your clothes askew," the finger of Greed's other hand ran down his chest, "dead to the world, and pining after someone else to boot. I don't take that which should be freely given, but that night I'll admit I was _sorely _tempted." He ground his erection against Kimblee's hip as he said it, as if to demonstrate said temptation.

"And yet you refrained from something you wanted? Why?"

"Because sex is more than a matter of possessing someone's body. It's a matter of possessing _them_, in here." He tapped on Kimblee's forehead. "Now, any idiot can do that by force and with pain. But if that's the way it goes, they'll spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it, and probably succeed sooner or later. However," he shifted so that he was lying atop Kimblee. "If the power you have over someone comes from pleasure, they'll spend the rest of their lives trying to remember." He reached down between their bodies, gripping both their lengths with one hand, beginning to slide up and down. "And they'll be yours as long as they do."

"I see." He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Greed's shoulders and surrendering himself entirely to the sensations. "Humans having freedom of will, the only true ownership is the one in which we're complicit." His eyes slid open once more and onto Envy. "And where were you during this?"

"I thought something much different was going to happen when he took you upstairs." Envy said, quietly, fiddling with the sheet where it had been torn. "I couldn't handle that, so I left."

"Don't leave now." He extended one arm to Envy, who moved closer. As they kissed, Greed leaned over, retrieving the bottle of lube from where it had been pushed to one side, half-under a pillow. "Right." He said, managing to be both businesslike and suggestive. Sliding one hand under Kimblee's shoulder, he pushed him onto his side, facing Envy with Greed at his back.

"Take your time about it." Kimblee said, looking over his shoulder at Greed. "And none of that gymnastic stuff you did with Envy." He added, running one finger along Greed's chin, somehow both provocative and cautionary.

Greed smirked, taking Kimblee's hand in his own and kissing the transmutation tattoo. "I'll be gentle, Lotus Flower."

Envy watched the exchange with interest. He had wondered if it might be weird seeing Kimblee in a more submissive role than he took where Envy was concerned. And yet nothing about him seemed changed or compromised. Differences in partner or position notwithstanding, he was as much in control as ever.

Kimblee tilted Envy's chin up and kissed him, as Green nuzzled and lightly grazed the skin of Kimblee's neck with his teeth. At the same time, he doused his hand with a fresh amount of lube. He glanced up, meeting Envy's eyes over Kimblee's shoulder. "Be a sport and distract him for a bit."

Envy was secretly but profoundly relieved that there was a way for him to be involved; a way in which he still felt wanted.

Kimblee shivered, as both their hands slid down his body almost in unison, and he couldn't suppress an insufferably self-satisfied smirk. The un-brothers proved a good team, working with a synchronicity which would have surprised just about anyone else. It was exquisite in its own way. The pain of accommodating, however gradually, Greed's generously-sized organ, contrasted with the pleasure of Envy's clever hands on him; Envy, who knew exactly how fast and how hard, how to bring him right to the edge in spite of everything, only to ease off and let other sensations reel him back in.

"You two will be the death of me." He breathed. A fresh sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead. His eyes were closed, so he missed the look that Greed and Envy exchanged over his shoulder. However, Greed's mouth was on the crook of his neck, and Kimblee felt his mouth curl in a smirk. A second later he understood why, as Greed began to move inside him. He moaned low in his throat as that burning, melting pleasure blossomed inside him, slowly but gaining speed. That and Envy's continued manipulation of him had him quite out of his mind.

Then, just as the tension in him was building to a breaking point once more, both homunculi stopped at once. His eyes shot open and the breath hitched in his throat as the abrupt halt left him reeling. He was greeted by an incredibly wicked look on Envy's face.

"Have mercy." He managed. "I'm only human."

"Mercy?" Greed said, as though the word was foreign.

"That's not really our thing." Envy said lightly, pinching one of his nipples not-so-lightly. "What do you think, Greed?"

"That is entirely up to you, Envy." Greed said, making a show of dragging things out, even though he himself felt half-mad with the urge to finish. "He is _your _human, after all."

"Hmmmm." Envy's lips curled in a smirk. "I suppose we could be nice, just this once. Seeing as he's pretty nice to me." Envy kissed him softly and gripping him once more, a split-second before Greed began thrusting into him again, with considerably less reserve this time, and he was beyond caring.

There was no more pain, or else it added to the overwhelming sensations rioting through his body. Pleasure drowned out all else; indeed, it was all but drowning _him_. He had no mind, no body, he was nothing but the sensations they gave him.

He went off like one of his own bombs. Jolts of pleasure shot through him like lightning, lightning which struck again and again; indeed, light flashed behind his eyes as though he had been electrocuted from within by the force of his orgasm, ejaculating with such force both his and Envy's stomachs were dotted with white.

Greed came a moment later, sinking his teeth into the crux of Kimblee's neck in a way that would leave a very questionable crescent of teeth marks.

With that, Kimblee was very obviously at the limit of his impressive but finite energy, gasping as though he had run a marathon, unable to keep his eyes from sliding shut. "You two…" His voice was already slightly slurred with oncoming sleep, "should combine your efforts more often. The world in its entirety would be overwhelmed and swept away."

Greed and Envy exchanged a look, not quite sad but bittersweet, too fleeting to fully analyze.

Then Greed shifted away from Kimblee, patting the space between their bodies. "Sleep in the middle." He said to Envy. "You know you want to."

Envy did want to. Falling asleep with each of them pressed close on either side was, in its own way, as good as anything else had been. And that was saying something.

.

.

.

(A/N: As to the 'make me a sandwich' joke, I feel like Envy has made a few attempts to cook, under his or her own initiative of course. I can picture, for instance, Envy trying to cram an entire sandwich into a slot of the toaster. Then, when it catches on fire, trying to pry it out with metal tongs and getting electrocuted. Then kicking the toaster across the room in a fit of rage. Kimblee may have been referencing this incident. Thanks for reading!)


	40. Preordained

(A/N: So, I'm sick and confined to my house. Un/fortunately, I have nothing to do but write! I'm considering going back and consolidating the several short chapters leading up to these into fewer, longer chapters. So, if the chapter numbers suddenly seem weird that would be why.)

.

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Envy woke to silence, punctuated only by the distant hiss of a running shower. He knew with eyes still closed that Greed was no longer beside him, and felt that old surge of bitterness when he opened them to find the left side of the bed empty.

He willed the feeling away. He sensed that this truce was a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence; all the more remarkable for an immortal. If a return to their usual state of affairs was inevitable, Envy was not ready for that yet. He wanted to pull the night closer around him like a quilt, hide in it from the predestined dawn.

There were no clocks in the room, lending a feeling of timelessness. Kimblee was still out cold, however, so Envy assumed it hadn't been very long. He smiled at the sleeping human, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his temple. If he was there, Envy reminded himself, it didn't matter where Greed was. Envy could – and presumably would – wake up every day for a hundred or a thousand more years without Greed, and Kimblee was the only thing which made the thought bearable.

Envy shifted to a female form, rising with the intention of finding food. The suite was equipped with a kitchen, which adjoined both the sitting area on one end and the bedroom on the other. It proved well-stocked, as she would expect of any place which Greed lived. There was a bowl of fruit upon one counter, and Envy selected an apple, biting into it with a wet crunch. Had any apple ever tasted so good?

"If it isn't Eve and her apple."

Somehow she had failed to notice the running water cease, or his approaching footsteps. Greed stood in the doorway, towel wrapped around his hips, water still beaded on his skin and glistening in his hair. Envy was a bit flustered at the sight of him, but managed to play it off.

"Adam and Eve and Steve?" She asked, taking another bite.

"Hell yes. Now that's an original sin I can get into." He walked over to her and leaned down, taking a bite of the fruit in her hand.

"There are like five more." Envy said, more amused than annoyed.

"I want this one."

However, he opted to taste her mouth instead, and after a moment the half-eaten apple dropped from Envy's hand, quite forgotten. Her body remembered itself, back arching forward and nipples tightening to almost painful hardness as their bodies pressed flush together.

"I want a word with you." He said after a time, voice low and husky against her ear.

"Is that what they're calling it these days?"

"I want _that_ too." He kissed her once more, before pulling away. "But there is something we need to discuss."

"Okay." Envy said, confusion competing with arousal. "Should I…" She glanced in the direction of the bedroom.

"Let him sleep for now. This is a family matter."

"Oh." She sighed. "Talk about a mood-killer."

"We'll see." Greed was now searching the cupboards for something. "How about you wait for me in the hot-tub."

"Fine. It's a bit cold out here anyway."

"You're just glad to see me." He swatted at her backside as she left the room.

"This gets drained after each use, right?" She called through the doorway, and could almost hear him rolling his eyes as he answered in the affirmative.

The hot water was pleasant around her, raising goose bumps on her skin where it was not submerged. She sank deeper, trying not to think about all the humans who had occupied this space before her.

Greed himself was a welcome distraction from that dismal train of thought. He carried two long-stemmed wine glasses carefully in one powerful hand, an open and chilled bottle of white wine in the other.

"For you." He handed Envy one of the glasses and filled it with practiced ease. What should have been an act of hospitality or even romance instead made Envy apprehensive. Why such formality? It wasn't like him.

He filled his own glass and set both it and the bottle on the side of the tub, before making a show of stripping off his towel and descending slowly into the water. Envy snorted at the performance, even as her eyes were glued to him, every perfectly chiseled inch; each detail she had worshiped and despised for what seemed an eternity.

"A toast?" He said when he was at last seated across from her, gesturing with his glass.

"To what?"

"New friends."

Envy snorted again "Cheers." She clicked her glass against his own and tasted it. She found it very agreeable, sweet, with a bright, complex flavor. How like him; torment Envy for decades and then perfectly predict in advance her preferences in wine.

Impulsively, Envy set the glass aside and half-crawled, half-swam over to him. Taking the glass out of his hand and setting it on the rim of the tub as well, she wrapped both arms around him and kissed him fervently.

"Good wine?" He teased, somewhat bemused by her forwardness even as it set his blood once more on fire.

"Shut up." She dragged his lips back to her own once more. Her words were interspersed between kisses. "We'll only…fuck things up…if we try…and talk about them."

"Hell, you're probably right." He pulled her closer still, encircling her waist with one arm and raising the other to bury his fingers in her hair, and for a moment it seemed he was going to give her exactly what she had always wanted. Then he pushed her away, holding her at arm's length.

"Just hear me out. You can laugh in my face if you want, but hear me out."

She was brought up short by the seriousness with which he spoke. Since when did he pick talking over screwing?

"…Alright." She resumed her seat across from him, feeling slighted and frustrated and uneasy and curious in spite of everything.

Greed was silent for a moment, eyes distant as though straining to hear sounds far away. Envy realized with mounting disquiet that he was checking whatever sixth sense which connected them for Pride.

"He wouldn't be here." Envy found herself saying, softly. "Wouldn't deign to watch all that."

"That's what I was counting on."

Envy eyes narrowed slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Call it killing two birds with one stone." Greed took another sip of his wine. "If we all got the ride of a lifetime…it's an added bonus if you and I can speak in private."

"So spit it out."

"Right. I know I'm not the only one thinking we make as good of partners as we do enemies."

"For one night." Envy hedged.

"What if it was more than that?"

He fixed her with a look of such intensity she found she could not withstand it, dropping her eyes from his and muttering into her glass,

"What, like a weekly special?"

"Like you and me, on the same side, tonight and every night. For all the issues we've ever had, I would treat you better than dear old Daddy."

Envy had known on some level what was coming. All the same, the shock of hearing it out loud was like a slap in the face.

"You're talking treason." Her voice was small, and deceptively level.

Greed made a scornful sound. "It's not treason if you don't owe him jack shit. What has he ever done to deserve our loyalty?"

"He made us." Envy said. "He's not like a human man, fathering children because it's easy –"

"No, he purged us from him like the shit he treats us like. All we are to him is flaws, mistakes, albeit with a certain level of useful –"

"Stop it!"

"Don't you _dare_ tell me I'm wrong."

Envy knew he wasn't wrong, and that was the problem. But she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud.

"Hey." Greed was suddenly very close to her, cupping her face in both hands as though it was something fragile and precious. "I know. I know it sucks to hear." He brushed his lips against her own.

"I'm not saying you're wrong." Envy managed. "But I do exist, and I owe that to him, whatever he cares or doesn't care for me."

"So what?" Greed pulled back a little. "So let's say you do owe him for that. Haven't you paid that debt about a thousand times over? I know what he's asked you to do for his cause. You and Lust. It's fucked up. I'd turn on him for that alone." His voice was a low growl of disgust and contempt.

Envy was rendered speechless. _You care? _

Quick on the heels of that revelation came a still greater one, however, incited by the mention of their sister. Envy remembered Greed's words about her, about their past together, _'infidelity was never the issue with us, way back when.' _

No, Envy realized. The issue must have been _this_. It would have been years ago, when they were still together, when Envy had still been young. Envy had little recollection of that time, barely enough to know they had had a relationship at all And yet the epiphany played out as though Envy had borne witness to every word. Greed: rebellious, self-seeking, wayward. Lust: dutiful, loyal, and above all else determined to keep their family together as such, no matter what it took or what it cost her. The trouble had not been between them, but with everything else, the world into which they were born. He had wanted her to leave with him, and she had wanted…family.

Envy also realized how stupid she had been not to realize all of this sooner. Hell, Lust had even said as much. _It wasn't about ownership, not for me. It was about getting him to stay. _

Envy's world wobbled on its axis. She felt out of place, more of an imposter than ever. Lust should be the one…not Envy…this was all wrong.

"Lust didn't turn her back on me for your sake." Envy forced herself to say. "I find I'm not so monstrous as to repay that with betrayal."

"She went after what she wanted." Greed said, evenly. "That's the most anyone can do. In the end, you have to live your own life. No one's gonna do it for you." He smiled, although it was slightly better. "And I know it's a hell of a thing to ask you, because you were never meant to live. None of us were. Only to exist, to _serve_." All hints of mirth died on his face. "Since the day you were made, there's only been one choice you've made for yourself, independently of Father's wishes."

"What?"

"Not what. Who. And I know Dad wasn't thrilled, and Pride even less. But you've come to enjoy it, haven't you? Being treated like a person with thoughts and feelings, rather than a tool. Your judgment isn't half bad, when you let yourself use it."

Envy simply nodded, not trusting the tightness in her throat with words.

"That's what I'm offering. I'm not saying things would be easy, or that we would always get along. I'd still be in charge, but I'd be a hell of a nicer guy to work for than Dad. Because no matter how pissed off I ever am at you or how much we disagree, I know that you're just like me. Not a thing, not a weapon, not a means to an end. You're a living creature who wants things, and maybe we want some of the same."

The silence after he spoke was so deep it seemed to resonate within itself. Envy stared into the water, feeling as though she were lost at sea; dazed and disoriented. How many times had she longed for something like this? A weak point in him, a chink in his armor physical or psychological to exploit, something more valuable and vulnerable than any vehicle to smash to pieces.

And yet she found no spite with which to respond. How could the many years of festering hatred be wiped so clean that she could not find a single cruel word to throw at him?

Indeed, she could think of no response, cruel or otherwise. Her mind was still reeling from all he had said. She found she could not tell right from wrong, fact from fantasy. It was all too much, the foundation of Envy's entire world toppled on its head.

Would Greed be a better leader than Father? Envy could scarcely picture it. They were a study in opposites; Father aloof and detached, Greed driven and consumed with predatory focus. Perhaps Greed did have more compassion for Envy than Father, but was more than nothing enough?

And, Envy shivered as she thought of him, what of Pride? Envy feared him more than she feared Father. She feared to go against him, and yet also feared to be his ally. She thought of Kimblee. Antagonizing Pride would certainly jeopardize his life, and yet Pride threatened him often enough when they were on the same side.

And what about Lust? If she would not defect for Greed's sake, would she for Greed and Envy's both? And perhaps Gluttony would follow her, but then all of them would need to flee the country, because of Wrath…

"I can't tell…" said Envy slowly, "if you're making me the offer of a lifetime, or if my standards are painfully low."

"Both." Greed said, promptly and bluntly. "We were all dealt a shitty hand, no matter how you play it."

There was another long silence.

"You can think about it if you want." He said. "I know I've put you in a hell of a spot."

"I don't need to think." She closed her eyes, unable to look at him. What should be sweet revenge was so very, very bitter. "I know what Father thinks of me. That he would see me die and not blink if it suited his purpose. But I want what he's offering me. You like the world as it is, and the world likes you." She forced herself to meet his eyes. "That's not the case for me. For me or for _him_." She inclined her head in the direction of the bedroom. "We don't fit in the world as it is right now. He says he wants to see it change, and I agree with him. That's what I want too."

He held her gaze for a long moment, and then sighed. "Thanks for hearing me out."

"R-really?"

He shrugged. "I said it myself, you have to go after what you want. I'd be a hypocrite if I asked you to do otherwise."

Perhaps, and yet Envy wished he would nonetheless. She didn't want to say yes, but wanted to want to. Envy wished he would argue, wanted him to beat down every last objection or shred of common sense she had. Wanted him to want her enough to object.

"How can I want what Father offers me, and what you do as well?" She buried her face in her hands. "Your greed is rubbing off on me."

His arms were around her once more. "Who knows? It might be for the better. We might be at each other's throats every day for the rest of our very short lives, if we did something so crazy."

Maybe. So why did Envy still want that? Why did such an abbreviated life seem so much more alluring than Envy's current nearly-endless one?

"Of course," Greed said conversationally, "you totally owe me consolation sex now."

Envy laughed in spite of herself. "Of course. Leave it to you to go from dead-serious to pornographic just like that." Any other time Envy would have found it annoying, but under the circumstances she was fervently glad of it.

He kissed her very deeply, pressing her against the side of the tub. In the heat of their sudden embrace, Envy's wine glass was knocked off the rim and shattered on the floor.

"Oh shi –"

"Leave it." He began to kiss a line down her neck towards her chest, then hesitated. "Should we wake him?"

"The deal was, I believe, anything I do with you I have to do with both of you later." She spoke as much to assure herself as Greed. She wanted a moment which belonged to only the two of them, and while she didn't think that Kimblee would object, Envy still felt guilty for it. "He'll have more fun later if we let him rest for now." She justified further.

"Fair enough."

He dropped down so that he was kneeling on the base of the tub while Envy sat upon the seat, hips hanging slightly over the edge. As he kissed her neck and breasts, his other hand roamed down, rubbing her vulva with the palm of his hand before parting her labia and gently toying with her clit.

"Harder." Envy said, her hips bucking against his fingers involuntarily as little surges of pleasure ran up her body at the masterful action of his fingers, growing more intense as he increased the pressure. He might not know a woman's body quite as a woman would, but he had experience enough for comparable expertise. He switched tactics, stimulating her exteriorly with his thumb while his sliding his index and middle finger inside her, searching for that sweet spot. After a moment of probing he found it, and with a _come hither _motion of his two fingers elevated her pleasure even further. She moaned into the crux of his neck, all previous agitation forgotten as his fingers undid her.

Then, using every ounce of her will, she gripped his hand in both of her own, drawing it away from her.

"Please." She whispered against his ear, before running her tongue along the edge of it.

He didn't ask, _please what?_ Shifting so that he knelt on the bottom of the tub and pulling Envy's hips so that they overhung the ledge on which she perched, he lined himself up. Envy made a sound low in her throat as his fingers were replaced inside her with something harder and so much larger.

"Will you…stay like that for a second?" She asked in an unsteady voice. More than her need for completion, she wanted to savor this. Even as she was letting him go she wanted to preserve the feeling of having him entirely. Whatever horrible things had or would happen between them, nothing could take this away from her.

He obliged her request, perhaps even sharing her sentiment. Who could know? After a time, though, he couldn't fight his body's demand for motion.

"I'm kinda going insane here." He said in a slightly strained voice.

"Go on."

The both moaned as he began to move inside her, angling just so as to rub against that honeyed place which made her shiver inside. Even as the sensations of her body overwhelmed her, she fought to memorize each detail of their coupling, the harsh sound of his quickened breath, the scent of his body so close to her own, the way the water lapped and splashed over the sides of the tub with the motion of their bodies.

He was strategic about it, beginning with slow, deep strokes, working the tension in her body to a delicious, excruciating head, working her up and up without giving her enough to bring her over the edge. Then, just when she thought she would go mad from the build-up, he quickened the pace, plowing into her with fast, sharp motions; she matched him, her frantic need mirroring his own.

With a final shudder and cry, everything shattered. Paroxysms of delight spiraled though her, upward from the nexus of her legs and turning all her insides to liquid bliss. It seemed to go on forever, wave after wave of bliss breaking upon her. He rode out her orgasm in one final display of resolve, until with a final deep rumble of pleasure he burst inside of her.

They remained frozen like that for an indeterminable time.

"I –" Envy began, feeling an urge to break the silence, to say something like _thank you_ or maybe even _I'm sorry. _

"Shh." He pressed on finger against her lips. "Don't say anything yet."

Envy found she was glad not to. She let her eyes slide shut, savoring the calm after the storm. The swish and drip of the water settling around them, their mingled breath as it leveled out, his heartbeat against her own as it regained its normal pace.

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(A/N: Gah, this was so hard to write because I wanted Envy to say yes, damnit! However, I'm not prepared to write that kind of AU. I also feel quite sorry for whoever has to clean that room DX Thanks for reading!)


	41. Die Happy

(A/N: My humble apologies, as always, for the infrequent updates. For what it's worth, my capricious muse is as cruel a master as I am an infrequent updater. There is no controlling where it drags me, all anyone can do is strap in for the ride. But I'm re-watching FMA with a friend who has never seen it before, so I felt inspired to get a move on with this. I predict more frequent updates in the near future, but I can't promise anything except that I will never abandon this story.)

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Their reverie was broken by the sound of applause. Envy opened her eyes to see Kimblee, upside down from her current perspective. He was leaning casually against the opposite wall, one of the sheets draped loosely over him like a Xerxian robe. She wondered with a start how long he had been there.

"Bravo. I'd say you're better in love than war."

"You're not upset, are you?" Envy asked, turning right side up as Greed moved off of and away from her.

"Upset?" He tilted his head slightly as he approached them. "Only if I can't take my turn." He slid the sheet from around his shoulders and stepped into the water. Greed wolf-whistled as he did so.

Envy stood and waded across the small space between them, wrapping her arms around him. As she buried her face in his loose-falling hair, a weight she had not even been aware of fell away. Only when she was on solid ground once more did she realize how unstable she had been without him.

"Is something wrong?"

She felt it would be a bit much to say _I missed you_ when he had been asleep in the next room, out of her immediate vicinity for under an hour.

"No. No, I'm just glad you're here."

They shared a kiss, and then she pulled him down to sit beside her.

"Here." Greed said, handing the bottle of wine to him. "There was a second glass at one point. Don't really feel like getting a third."

"The three of us, share a bottle? How lewd." He took a swig as Greed and Envy chuckled.

"Wish I could say I'm sorry about your neck." Greed said, eyeing the crescent of fang-marks he had left, higher than the collar of Kimblee's uniform would entirely cover. Greed moved over and kissed the rent flesh, before running his tongue along the length of it. "What I'd give to hear the questions you get about it at work."

"People don't ask questions to my face, although I'm sure it will spark interesting rumors." He took another drink, his other hand gliding up Greed's spine. "Now that simple homosexuality is a dubious claim, they'll need a fresh angle as to my perversity."

"If only they knew." Greed said, almost nostalgic.

"Truth is stranger than conjecture." Kimblee pressed the mouth of the bottle against Greed's lips, tipping the liquid into his waiting mouth. Greed seized the neck of the bottled and pushed it in the opposite direction, spilling its contents onto Kimblee's neck, shoulder and torso.

"Whops." Greed said, bending to lap at the flowing rivulets.

"I've changed my mind." Envy said abruptly. "I want to see the two of you make out."

"You sure?" Greed asked, straightening up and wiping a bit of wine off his chin. His expression was so self-satisfied it was clear he knew the answer.

"I am." Although Envy was unsure of why. A sort of consolation prize for Greed, perhaps: giving him something which Envy held dear, even if it was a far cry from what he had wanted. Or perhaps Envy was secure enough now to want to flaunt her own good luck a little, for she loved the way her human kissed her and felt that Greed ought to understand why.

It was hot, whatever underlying motivations Envy might have. They were a study in contrasts so extreme that they ought to clash, to detract from one another. And yet each accentuated what Envy found most appealing about the other. Greed dominated the contact, and yet Kimblee once again baffled her in how he held his own even as he gave ground. Greed brought that out in him; the firmness that was yielding, acquiescence as a means of control – those subtleties of his character which had tamed Envy and still held her enthralled. And Greed, who was so harsh and maddeningly indifferent, and yet had just bared such vulnerability to her. Maybe, just maybe, Envy had softened just enough to want that enjoyment for both them, apart from her own satisfaction.

Not that said satisfaction was at all compromised. After a generous but not overlong time of enjoying one another, they drew away from each other as though on cue, each holding out one arm, beckoning Envy to join. Envy once more found it difficult to move, difficult to breathe, as she crossed the small space to entangle herself in their arms. She wanted to stay there forever, pressed between their bodies, covered in their kisses and caresses. Envy tried to give as good as she got, but she was outnumbered, soon quivering and mindless in sensory overload, no longer sure whose mouth was whose and which hand was doing what, and loving all of it.

Presently, she was aware of both of them drawing back, exchanging some question in a glance which she was too out of her head to fathom.

"What would you say," Green murmured against her ear, "to both of us at once?"

Envy made a sound that was half gasp, half laugh. She could not say what shocked her more – the suggestion, or the fact that it seemed plausible. Both things combine made the color rise in her face, which she hid in the crux of Kimblee's neck.

"Maybe." Envy hedged, not sure if her stomach twisted with excitement or unease. "Is such a thing…enjoyable?"

"Neither of us could tell you for a fact." Kimblee said with a bit of a laugh.

"I'd be all for finding out if I could." Greed added.

"As would I." Kimblee said. "I can tell you I thoroughly enjoyed being between both of you earlier."

"I…suppose we could try it." Envy's mouth curved of its own accord into a half-mad grin as she said it.

Greed pulled away from them and climbed over the lip of the tub. Envy peaked up at him, sending sheets of water cascading down his body and onto the floor as he disappeared briefly into the bedroom, retrieving the tube of lubricant from earlier.

"How considerate." Envy said as he returned, sinking into the hot water once more.

"You know me." He said with a wink. "Always _so _considerate." He nodded at Kimblee, who was currently half-reclined on the ledge of the hot tub's seats. "Sit on his lap, facing him."

It was not a new position for them, but Envy felt the heightened sensation of novelty to have someone else watching, a third party calling the shots. Kimblee pulled her into an almost chaste embrace, instinctively soothing Envy's flutter of nervousness. Envy was bolstered by his unwavering self-assurance, that certainty of getting exactly what he wanted regardless of who was in charge.

"Kiss the boy." Greed said. Envy was happy to oblige. She felt Greed behind her, tall enough to kneel on the bottom of the tub and have his hips still on a level with Envy's. They resumed their previous actions. Envy moaned as someone's – Greed's assumedly – fingers began charting her most intimate terrain, only slightly aware of the viscous substance his touch brought with it.

"I guess I'm not technically new to double-penetration." Envy said to cover her own slight nervousness as Greed began stretching her from behind. "Just usually has less to do with dicks and more to do with…sharp objects…"

"You're bad at pillow-talk." Greed said, leaning flush against her back.

"I could jab you in the solar plexus so easily from here."

"Gentlemen." Kimblee said with equal parts warning and amusement.

"Point taken." Greed said, kissing Envy's neck. "You alright?"

"Yes." She reached up, her hand coming to rest on the back of his neck as he half-knelt behind her, turning her head towards his. "Keep going."

From Kimblee's viewpoint, she was the essence of sensuality in that moment; eyes half-lidded, hair wet and tousled, somehow both coy and brazen at once. He wished he could take a snapshot of the image, preserve it against fallible memory. Failing that, he shifted his hips just so and slid into her. She was very ready, slick with her own wetness as well as the synthetic extra.

Envy's breath hitched as he did so, eyes closed and mouth falling slightly open. Recovering, she reached out with her other hand and pulled him into another kiss.

"Yes?" Greed asked, now pressed against her second, well-prepped opening.

"Yes."

Her body stiffened as he entered her, not with pain or fear but with a nameless thrill that tingled along her skin, made her fingers and toes curl and her back arch against Greed's front. She felt claimed, possessed, at once debauched and cherished.

"Don't stop."

Greed drove the motion, slowly at first as each of them adjusted to their unusual entanglement. The two males were making love as much to each other as to Envy, for it was between the two of them that they set and increased the pace, each other's rhythm they moved to.

To Envy, the feeling was strange at first. Perhaps stranger than it would have been for anyone else, for Envy enjoyed a level of control of his or her or its own body beyond what other creatures could understand. And yet now she was now as powerless as a swimmer in a tidal wave, no more than a fulcrum for their movement and the pleasure it slowly kindled in her. She was unable to tell where one sensation ended and another began, particurally when someone's hand claimed one of her breasts, tweaking and pinching the nipple to almost painful rigidity, and another hand slid down to toy with her clitoris.

Greed and Kimblee shared a kiss over her shoulder. Then Kimblee buried his face against her neck, kindling her skin aflame with the actions of his mouth. Greed's mouth was suddenly close and wet against her ear.

"You love it." He growled, low and predatory.

She made a wordless sound that implied yes, as a particularly vivid jolt of pleasure lanced through her. It was sensory overload, the sheer amount of skin against her own, hot and slick with sweat and water.

"Say it, Invidia." Kimblee whispered, lips flush against her own. "Tell me."

"I…ah-I love…having both of you…being fucked by both of you." She spoke such wanton words with glee, knowing how it would affect him.

Sure enough, with a soft, urgent sound low in his throat, he drove into her more fervently, heightening their coupling to even greater speed, making Envy scream anew. Her body tightened and shuddered deliciously around each of them, evoking a sound of pleasure from both men Either of them could have, and indeed nearly had, reached their own climax as a result, but just as they worked with each other, so also they worked against one another, rivals as well as partners, engaged in an unspoken rivalry of who could last the longest.

Envy twisted her fingers into Kimblee's now thoroughly tangled hair, locking her lips onto his, tongue sliding in between with a wild abandon he returned measure for measure. She moaned into his mouth, breaking the contact with another heightened cry.

"Oh…oh yes, oh…fuck…" Her fingers tightened in his hair to the point of pain. "Come in me." She seemed barely capable of forming the words. "Both of…you. Fill me with it."

_Fuck, Envy talks dirty? _Some distant part of Greed's brain marveled. He found it inexplicably heartwarming.

Envy couldn't believe three bodies could move so fast, so well. The water became a typhoon in their frenzy, water splashing over the side in waves. The heat of the water, of their friction, was an inferno. A boiling sea in which Envy was melting, coming apart atom-by-atom and vaporizing with the steam.

Pleasure twisted and spiraled inside her as though her viscera might come unraveled. It was like what she imagined it was to glimpsing Truth, a physical and emotional intensity on the razor edge of endurance, and she screamed.

It was that beautifully raw sound which sent Kimblee over the edge, followed a fraction of a second later by Greed. Kimblee was never sure whether the light which flashed in his eyes was due to pleasure or a jolt of alchemical energy from either of his partners.

Their bodies came apart, and with a splash they all slupmed deeper into the water, dazed. Envy might have drowned if Greed had not retained just enough sense and motor control to hold her to him, above the water line. For a moment, they were so close in body and mind that a thought passed between them, through whatever link of body or soul connected them. At least, Greed knew what Envy was going to say before she did.

"I wish that could have killed me." He voice was soft, quiet enough to go unnoticed, and yet it passed through Greed like a razor.

"Truest thing I've heard in a long time." 


	42. Epilogue: A Fun Evening

(A/N: Hello, and welcome to the end of Many Kinds of Monsters. The story I'm telling is about halfway done. The second half is going to be different enough in tone and content that I decided I'm going to make it its own fic: Mortals and Gods A villain's side of the story, incorporating the heroes this time around. More about that after the epilogue, which is also a flashback from chapters ten/eleven. Enjoy!

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"Come on Leviathan, help me with this guy." The location was Monique's Bar. The time was soon after Kimblee had passed out on the floor. Greed knelt beside him, having tried unsuccessfully to make him stand up. The pub around them was still in ruins from their fight moments before.

"Why?" Envy glared, still standoffish after being decapitated. "Can't you take care of your own things?"

Greed was looking up at Envy from his perspective, but the look he gave still seemed somehow downwards. "You know perfectly well he's holding out for you."

Envy could think of nothing to say to that, so it slid an arm under one of Kimblee's and helped Greed drag him upstairs. Greed kicked in the door to a room which, thankfully, wasn't occupied.

They deposited the human on the bed, and Greed did the extra nicety of unlacing and removing his army-issue boots, placing them by the nightstand. Envy rolled its eyes. Any such kindness meant that he was Greed's inevitable property.

Envy appraised said property. He was almost eerily pale, in the dark room lit only by a sliver of moonlight. Sometime during the night his hair had come lose, the dark strands shocking in their contrast to his complexion.

"So." Greed said with a wicked smirk, watching Envy. "Think it's true what they say about Xingian men?"

"Hm?" Envy murmured, not paying Greed much attention for once.

"You know…" Greed's smile grew. "How they're supposedly… _diminutive_, in certain regards?"

Envy looked at Greed, perplexed, and then grimaced as realization struck, crinkling its nose in distaste. "Uh! Don't be disgusting!"

Greed laughed. "So, think it's true?"

"You'd know a helluva lot better than me!"

"Not about him."

"You will soon enough."

"Why not find out right now?"

"Are you crazy?!"

"I'm kidding. I got more class than that."

"Sure." The word was sickly-sweet with sarcasm.

"Sure makes you think, though. Him, there, all defenseless and whatnot."

"My mind isn't filled with thoughts of violating my co-workers."

"That's because you've got no junk. Or hormones. Either of those, and you' be all over that." He gestured in Kimblee's general direction.

"Says you."

"And I don't lie. I also don't believe you're not at least curious."

Envy grit its teeth. "If you're going to molest him, do it while he's awake and I'm not here, and each of us will enjoy it all the more."

"I saw the way you were looking at him. And for what it's worth, I'm betting he doesn't have anything to be ashamed of in that department."

"Bet all you want, I'm not playing."

"At this point, I feel I should inform both of you that I am still conscious." Kimblee's voice was slightly slurred, yet clear. "And Envy's right in that at least one of you will eventually know."

Greed laughed. Envy stormed out, the usual response to a joke at its perceived expense. Still, as far as interactions with Greed went that hadn't been so bad. Upon reflection, Envy had to admit it had been a pretty fun evening.

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(A/N: I might add additional epilogs. I have some material already written, but on a computer I have no access to at the moment. So, keep an eye on this fic if that interests you.)

Now then, THE SEQUAL:

My goal in Mortals and Gods is to expand on and conclude plot points from Many Kinds of Monsters. There will also be new ones to go along with a host of new characters. It's my hope that the sequel will be able to stand alone from the first, but that having read the first will make the second more significant.

What Will Be Different:

The Cast: Many Kinds of Monsters has focused heavily on the homunculi family. The sequel, Gods and Mortals, will focus more on humans, as the main characters will be interacting with other cannon characters in earnest for the first time.

Sex: There's going to be less, mostly because the sequel's Greed is underage. I love Greed-Ling, but he doesn't have the porn-on-legs potential of Greed's first form. There will be some acknowledgement that the heroes also have sexuality not overtly present in cannon, simply to even things out. In other words: The Doers of Good Are Still Doers of the Nasty.

(Also, I'm curious how much sex people want to read. It's the thing which gets the most mixed reviews. Some seem to like it; others just want to get back to the plot. So, if you have a preference/opinion/word of advice, please let me know!)

Canonical Details: I will embellish cannon characters and events to a certain extent. I don't plan on ever departing fully from cannon, and I will not change the overall course of the story. But I might feel the need to expand what already exist in ways that, if not opposing cannon, are also not supported by it. See again: heroes' sex lives. Also original characters, simply because the story will call for them.

Monthly Updates: I will do my best, because if you've followed the story this long you deserve it.

What Will Be the Same:

Family Drama: There are more humans in the plot, but the homunculi more than hold their own.

Angst: This story will be to angst what the gender-switching-pseudo-incest-threesome was to smut. Bring a tissue.

Gore: Bring a raincoat.

Look Forward To: More Lust! Envy/Dr. Marcoh interactions! Kimblee going coo-coo for coco puffs in Ishbal! The FMA heroes you know and love, seen through the eyes of those who hate them!

In the meantime, if you like me as an author you can look for me on fictionpress, also as NoClueKid. Or search for the story title Vampires in Venice. It's my latest project and I'm rather excited about it.

Most of all, thanks for reading!


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